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DarthBob
Reviews
Saved! (2004)
Unintelligent, witless trash
I'm a Christian, but I like to think I can take a joke.
"Saved" is a joke, but not in the way it's producers intended.
While mascarading as a morality play on "fundamentalist" Christians who take their faith too seriously, "Saved" succeeds mainly at portraying even nominally serious Christians as hand- swaying, verse chirping buffoons while atheistic relativists are the truly compassionate heroes.
I've seen Christianity satirized in a funny way and I think God can take a joke (although I do draw the line at portraying Jesus as a poolboy-which happens in an early scene in "Saved"). But check out any number of "Simpsons" episodes featuring Ned Flanders prominently. Clearly, unlike the writers of "Saved", the "Simpsons" writers have done their homework (and some may even be believers themselves). Satire always requires a solid-element of truth (even when dealing with stereotypes) in order to make it work. It even requires a degree of sympathy for that which it is satirizing (see the Christopher Guest "mockumentaries"). "Saved" has none of that, and simply relies on sweeping generalizations of those it deems "too intolerant" in their faith.
The movie is also just poorly made, poorly cast, poorly acted, poorly written and poorly edited. Scenes which linger should have been cut sooner (Cassandra's "speaking in tongues" scene comes to mind). Others don't last long enough or give us enough information about any of the characters motivations. It's often as though the movie can't decide what it wants to be- a satirical comedy or a WB style teen drama. It seems like it switches between those two every other scene.
Although this is technically a "comedy" most of the jokes fall totally flat. "Saved" is devoid of any true wit and instead relies on typical teen comedy style jokes (usually involving sex of course.)
I agree that Christians should be loving and accepting, but must it be at the expense of righteousness? Do we trade righteous living for moral relativism, situational ethics and spiritual ambiguity?
The movie could have given us a more mature and fair answer (to both fundamentalists and those more "liberal" in their faith). Instead it gives us a tired, tired I'm okay you're okay message that leaves more questions about faith then answers.
One of the worst movies made in the last ten years.
Michael Moore Hates America (2004)
Solid, albeit very low-budget documentary
I got a chance to see this at the SMAASH film festival in Excelsior, MN.
A solid, honest and *true* documentary from a first-time filmmaker, "Michael Moore Hates America" is a rebuttal to Michael Moore's "documentaries" and the shrillness of our modern political environment in general.
The movie is not an attack on Michael Moore, nor is it even a dissection of his filming "techniques" (see "Farenhype 9-11" for that). While Wilson does question certain scenes, and ideas from Michael Moore's documentaries, his focus more on the American spirit and livlihood that Moore seems to think dosen't exist.
Much of the commentary comes from Penn Jillette of "Penn & Teller" fame. He has a potty mouth, but he hits the nail right on the head about Moore's tactics and "documentaries" in general: It's impossible to really capture the truth and once the cameras are rolling all bets are off-essentially the Heisenberg uncertainty principal on film. Wilson dosen't reel from this truth at all, and even shows himself using the same tactics Moore uses to get around reality.
The movie is clearly very low budget (it appears that virtually all of it was shot on MiniDV using hand-held cameras) and lacks the slick titles, fast editing, and overall gimmickry of a modern, large budget documentary. Rather than undermining Wilson's point, this on- the-cheap quality actually helps reinforce his point: All the slick editing, quick takes, and loud music in the world can't substitute for the truth.
The Passion of the Christ (2004)
The greatest movie ever made
This is, quite simply, the greatest movie ever made. It's not the most entertaining, nor is it the most fun; in fact it's not fun to watch at all. It is, however, the most poignant, emotional and powerful movie I have ever seen. Wonderful performances from all of the actors, brilliant direction, brilliant editing, the score, the visual effects, the sets, the cinematography-all top notch. Yet this movie is even greater than the sum of it's parts. Whether the 2005 Oscars recognize this or not, it is the best film of the year, indeed of all time.
Hollywood will never and can never top this film. They may as well close up shop now.
Curse II: The Bite (1989)
Curse II: This Bites
I can't believe this film has mustered up even 3.7 stars as this movie is not very good. It's only real highlights are an appearence by Sydney Lassick (known for his memorable role as "Charlie Cheswick" in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's
Nest") and Jamie Farr ("Klinger" from "M*A*S*H"). Note to Hollywood directors: If Sydney Lassick is your movie's ONLY highlight, you have a very serious problem.
The special effects are terrible and overcompensated for by being way more
gooey and graphic than they needed to be. I've seen episodes of "Perfect
Strangers" that were more suspensful. Seeing some guys gauze wrapped hand
turn slowly into a moistened rubber snake puppet is nowhere near as thrilling as when Cousin Larry almost missed his big job interview because lovable Balki
lost his car keys.
The film is topped off with 7 or 8 major product placement scenes and close to 14 1/2 hours of Jeep driving in the desert footage.
One final and interesting note: "Deputy Barney" is played by someone who later went on to play Jesus. I'll let you make up your own sarcastic comments.
Joysticks (1983)
The finest film of this or any other generation!
A beautiful majestic and taut thriller set against the backdrop of a suburban video arcade. Joe Don Baker gives us a towering performance as the cliched angry parent wanting to shut the arcade down. It's amazing that even now, 20 years later, the film still inspires, still excites and still amazes even the most jaded movie viewer. If there is a God, I know that even he must get a smile on his face from the pointless nudity and hours upon hours of video game playing that this movie portrays with such raw tenacity and such POWER! 10/10. Long live "Joysticks!"
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
Weakest-yes, weakest of the saga
I am going against the grain here, but I thought this was actually the weakest and least "Star Wars" like of the "Star Wars" films. It feels very confined to me. Where are the sweeping visuals? Cloud City is the most exotic locale and even that is pretty sterile looking (although it was helped GREATLY with the "Special Edition"additions). I like the darker tone of it but there's just not enough going on here in terms of action. That said, it's still a great movie and one of my favorites, but it's my least favorite of the saga so far.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Wonderful Film
Great movie, and a great beginning to the saga. Deceivingly complex in it's storyline, and generally only loved by the true fans. 2nd in my opinion only to the first "Star Wars" in 77', but that film is so perfect it's impossible to top and I wouldn't have expected it too.
Easy to rip on only because "Star Wars" is such a huge target. Best film of 1999. And no, "Empire" is not the best "Star Wars." A wonderful movie, but it was very "confined" in it's scope. Half of the film was in a swamp or in a spaceship. Again, very confined.
"Phantom Menace" is the opposite. Huge complex vistas, thousands of things happening in each frame. What "Star Wars" was always supposed to be. In an era of cynicism and dark films (see "The Matrix"), it's nice to see a simple clash between good and evil again. A great ride.