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Reviews
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999)
Oh pah leese baby, get some new lines....
Sure, the movie was light hearted and fun, but please, does Mike Myers know when a joke isn't funny anymore? I really feel for people with eating disorders when poor old Fat Bastard hits the scene. I mean, complex issues here baby. The one trully fab. evolution is Madonna's hit single Beautiful Stranger. My vote goes all the way for this pure sensation.
Evita (1996)
A magnificent performance by a remarkable woman...
The passion was overwhelmingly ferocious. The portrayal of Eva Peron by Madonna was immaculate. No other actress could have displayed the emotion Madonna created. Truly her baby, and grandest performance. Costumes were fab. And, well, what more could be said about Antonio. Apart from he is a hunk 'o burning love. These two sizzle, steam and sweat their was to sheer visual pleasure.
Music to die for. Actors we live for. A vision we strive for. Don't cry for me...Argentina... By the way, how grand would it be to wave upon thousands knowing that in some small way they idolise the simple fact that you minutely changed their lives...EVITA! EVITA! Madonna plays such an innocent 16 year old! Amazing at 40.
Total Eclipse (1995)
Wake me when it ends...
Leonardo gives the performance of homophobic homosexual. The love scenes were stomach churning and painful. Half the time you wonder if he was bucking a bull. His character doesn't even touch the point of genius, just that of an egotistical brat. The movie was dark and boring. The characters were hideously filthy and insulting, dirty and selfish and should have bloody drowned in the sea they were so desperately hunting in their mad frenzied expedition. Sure, genius does touch insanity. But such intellectualism should not bestow poignant stupidity.
The Godfather Part III (1990)
Yama Yama Yama
Hmmm, me thinks after reading the other reviews that Sophia was tragically miscast. Well, after watching it for myself, I agree. You know, someone like Joey from Dawsons creek would have been ideal playing Mary. When a girl that cute dies at the end, you cry, not weep for joy, as I did when Sophia left us. I feel safe knowing that if there were to be another addition to the saga, there wouldn't be a Mary Corleone. Unless there is some kind of weird resurrection,where I'm sure Cher would be suitable.