Bandithaze Reviews

Titanic (1997)

'Not even god can sink this ship'?,, Yeah But he did though, didn't he.

[1/10 · 16 October 2001]

i gave this film a 1, but thats only because there was no -999 rating, this film sucked, because there was absolutley no plot. how can you have a 3 hour movie with no plot. the story was a rip off of romeo and juliette, and even that was done badly. the only part of the film i liked was when, jack's friend is swimming away and that big massive chimney shaped thing drops on him,,, oh how i laughed.

i remember when this movie came out,, and there was such hype about it, being the most expensive movie ever made, and everyone was going on about how amazing it is. that was 4 years ago. 4 years later titanic ends up in one of those Crazy Eddie bargain Video box's for £2.99,, and incase you don't know, thats where all the lame video's end up. the fact is Titanic is,, excuse me,, WAS all hype, behind the hype the film could not stand the test of time because it is a lame film.

and for those of you who think 4 years is a long time for hype to last,, then think of Star Wars 24 years ago and STILL selling strong,, Seven Samurai 50 years later and is STILL inspiring new directors. Titanic,,, 4 years later Crazy Eddie Bargain Video Box £2.99

It (1990)

They All Float Down Hear

[16 October 2001]

11 years later and I still can't believe it was just a TV movie. Although by todays standards the make up seems dated, it is still a suspenceful scary film.

Pennywise is probably the scariest character ever created, simply because he comes across as a friendly clown that just loves to play with children, why wouldn't you trust him?

Cocktail (1988)

Bandit's Law, Never pay any attention to people who are wrong

[8/10 · 16 October 2001]

I enjoyed this movie a lot; I shouldn't because it promotes all 3 major sins, Alcoholism, Promiscuity and Gambling. Though asides from that it does show the struggles of the young workingman. Essentially all Flanagan wants to do is conquer the world with some kind of million-dollar idea but finds the road to success long, hard and with many hurdles.

It's not the greatest movie ever made, (by far) but it is a nice film to watch every now and then, it does have a cool sound track, and contrary to popular belief this is not cruise at his worst. Cruise at his worst was in either young guns or young guns 2, where he walks out of a bar and gets shot, the young guns film are good films, I'm saying that was Cruise at HIS worst,

And incase you still don't get what I'm saying. Tom Cruise is a great actor despite his good looks, and his worst acting performance was when he walked on said or did nothing and gets shot, he is in the film for about 2 seconds, if that.

6/10

Get Shorty (1995)

Get smoothie

[13 August 2000]

Get Shorty is set up like a gangster movie, it even has gangsters in it but delivers more like a comedy about how to make a movie in Hollywood, involving gangsters and an ex-loan shark. The movie starts off about a Chili Palmer the loan shark that has been sent to Los Angeles to collect a debt from movie producer Harry Zimm. Palmer has an idea for a movie, which is based on real life recent events; the only problem is the real life recent event has not been concluded in real life yet. John Trovolta is smooth as always the character of Chili Palmer, really suited him. Gene Hackman was great as the producer, and Barry Sonnenfeld actually directs a decent film.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

The good the Bad and the Brilliant

[10/10 · 13 August 2000]

This is probably one the finest westerns ever made. From beginning to the end it is simply brilliant. The story of the man with no name continues in the third installment of Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns. Clint Eastwood is at his best Lee Van Cleef is always impressive but Eli Walach's portrayal of Tuco was the best. What I like most about the film is that it is 2 and half hours long and does not have a single wasted scene. It stays intense throughout the entire film right from the opening scene with to the very last. This is of cause partly to do with Ennio Morrocone's haunting musical score.

Mission: Impossible II (2000)

IT'AN ACTION FILM, NOT A DRAMA

[15 July 2000]

Despite the most popular reviews on the net about this film the facts.

1. It's an action flick; the story is second priority.

2. It's good.

Tom Cruise was superb; Dougray Scott was superb and even Ving Rhames, as small as his part was. Thandie Newton's acting was impressive though I did not like her character. What I mean is what's going to happen, romance does not have much of a place in an action film and it would ridiculous if a Mission Impossible 3 is made and Ethan and Nyah are build on a relationship, or if Ethan has a different girl friend in each film like James Bond. I hope there is a part three to complete the trilogy, but I certainly would not like to see either of the above. In conclusion M:I 2 is worth seeing, John Woo's directing is as always first rate and Cruise did all his own stunts, which is something to be admired these days.

Dragons Forever (1988)

Very good Kung Fu

[5 July 1999]

Dragons forever is the final collaboration between 'Hong Kong's favourite sons' Jackie Chan, Yuen Biao and Sammo Hung. As a film it does not have a very strong pot but since it is an 'action film which once again goes to show when it come to making action films, Hollywood don't know s***' the plot is not that important anyway. The film does what it is supposed to do by showing the viewer plenty of Kung Fu action scenes, Yuen Biao's fighting is by far the best. Also anyone who has watched 'Martial Law' and thought Sammo Hung is not that good watch this film and then watch The Prodigal Son and then watch Martial Law again and wonder how good it would be if Sammo Hung directed it.

To Live and Die in Tsimshatsui (1994)

Excellent

[9/10 · 2 July 1999]

This film is all about friendship and how far a person would go for a true friend. it is not the first time this sort of a film has been made but it presents a brilliant example.

Beavis and Butt-Head (1993–2011)

Beavis and Butt-Head are geniuses, everyone else is stupid

[2 July 1999]

Beavis and Butt-Head is by far the most intelligent comedy ever made but since most people did not get it it was branded off as just stupid. Well in reality they are morons but they are so idiotic that they them selves become master minds without realising it for example in Beavis and Butt-Head do America they are looking for a TV station in a power plant and and end up turning the electricity off for half of the US thus making it harder for the FBI to find them, not that they new the FBI was after them in the first place. BnB have presented simple solutions for major problems for example Beavis once suggested that people in the third world should just get credit cards and then they would not be poor. In real life this would not actually work because people in the first world would only help the needy as long as it means they themselves would not become the needy. That is to say if first world citizens REALLY wanted to help there would not be any charities. Mike Judge looked at society as it is and told the world what is wrong with it unfortunately society did not want to listen.

Bullet in the Head (1990)

Brilliant

[10/10 · 2 July 1999]

By far the best film ever made with the best acting possible and the best directing ever. The story of three friends who get caught up in the Vietnamese war and the betrayed by one the 'brothers' for some gold. Waise Lee and Tony Leung give the best performances of the film, thats not under-mise the work of Jacky Cheung or Simon Yam. This film has everything a film can have action adventure and a story. This just goes to show that John Woo is by far the best director alive.

City on Fire (1987)

Quinten Tarantino ripped off Ringo Lam

[8/10 · 2 July 1999]

I saw Reservoir dogs and thought that it is one the best films I had ever seen. And it is a good film but, then I saw City On Fire and could not believe the likeness between the two films. Now even though they Reservoir Dogs ends different the bulk of the film is what Ringo Lam did with City on Fire except since City on Fire is longer Lam gave the characters more of a story and made the viewer feel for both sides of the law he also put the notion to the viewer what would you do you were a criminal and your best friend who you thought was on your side turned out to be a policeman or to put that in a more everyday circumstance what would you do if you thought someone was your best friend and they turned out to be using you.

To Live and Die in Tsimshatsui (1994)

Excellent

[9/10 · 27 June 1999]

This film is about friendship brotherhood and all that goes with it, brilliantly directed and superbly acted out. It's a pity that brilliant films like this do not reach the wider audience, but in saying that, sometimes when a film un-popular the viewer can enjoy it for what it is and not for who's in it.