Jesse-45 Reviews

Howling V: The Rebirth (1989)

One of the best Howling movies!

[23 January 2001]

O.K., after the first film, the series went down-hill with Howling II, awesome poster, but most of the film was extremely awful! Some fun though, and nice nudity! Howling III is the best sequel in my opinion, with some truly freaky moments and I love the fun qualities the movie offers, I poke a lot of fun at the bad acting and such, but its a fun horror movie. Howling 4 was a fun one too, and has some hilarious moments, even if the werewolves are played by Lassie and Benji. We skip to Howling 6 and 7, 6 has some cool stuff, but its freak-qualities make me want to throw up, and 7 is perhaps the WORST HORROR FILM OF ALL TIME! 7 is so slowly-moving with its ho-dunk po-dunk hill-billy-chilli gas and so filled with line-dancing that'll it'll make your head spin faster than Reagan's head at the Daytona 500! And when it stops you'll still see Lon Chaney disciples tearing the throats out of chilli-farters, which makes me think its not such a bad movie after all, if these god-awful red-neck-beer-belly-chilli-fartin' smurfs are getting Nasch-ied to death!

O.K., what about those comments on Howling V : The Rebirth. Sorry, but that Howling 7 is just the gul-darnestly bad movie ever made, though on the positive side, the werewolf moments beat anything in teeny-bopper-heaven flicks. I mean you just gotta love those werewolves even if they do show up in some of the WORST HORROR FILMS EVER MADE! O.K., straight to Howling 5. This one's a blast! Of all the awful-filmmaking skills in these sequels, be them entertaining or splintertaining, this one is amusingly interesting with a lack of bad acting and bad dialogue. Also, this one is really freaky...the werewolf in this one is one hell of a scary s.o.b. of a site. The actors and actresses have been seen doing other things. And Clive Turner who would go on to make the head-splitingly bad Howling 7 : New Moon Rising, actually does a pretty good acting job. Its not squeaky clean, but ITS A HOWLING SEQUEL, give it a break. This one's a lot of fun and remember....Howl to the moon baby!

Urban Legends: Final Cut (2000)

Really funny horror flick

[9 October 2000]

I went in to this flick, skeptical. Urban Legend was an awful, awful horror flick, which did have some good sides in having Robert (Freddy Krueger) Englund and Brad (voice of Chucky) Dourif show up and some references to the great slashers were present, but it was a pretty stupid movie. And the trailer to this flick looked mixed, between cool and stupid. Trailers are often decieving, because even though there were some stupid moments in the film, this movie was enjoyable with a lot of laughs filled in, including a scene of a dog sniffing and eating someones liver. Call me sick, but it has a lot of funny moments. Far more amusing than the original.

Hollow Man (2000)

Perhaps a new classic?

[7 August 2000]

***** Best film of the year!!! Well Paul Verhoeven has certainly done classics before. Robocop and Total Recall are classic sci-fi flicks, and this one may become one as well. It's perhaps going to gradually become a classic, then again, many think there are classical scenes in it, and I have to say there are classical scenes as well.

The story is interesting and the characters are very good, at times I found the acting of Elisabeth Shue very realistic. And of course Kevin Bacon cannot go un-mentioned. He did a fantastic job, and he didn't even have to show his face. I did like his character a lot, and I find it amusing how he just switches from sane to wildly insane. The rest of the cast is great as well. The film does sell a cool, creepy and frightening theme that asks us what we would do if we were invisible...I mean why not hang out at the Playboy mansion?

Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

Best movie of 1999!!

[10/10 · 26 July 2000]

In 1999, where commercial films were often disappointing and bad, Eyes Wide Shut brought so much more to the big-screen. The trailer was great. It didn't reveal very much at all. We watched the film, not knowing very many things at all. And that's the problem with movie previews now-a-days. They show way too much. Eyes Wide Shut didn't. And that's one of the things I loved about the movie.

This was a very captivating movie. I felt like I was inside a film after viewing it. It was spectacular. The lighting and everything was masterful. Stanley Kubrick has made so many great movies...2001, A Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon, Full Metal Jacket, Paths Of Glory, The Shining and this flick is definitely no exception what so ever. He died as a filmmaker who made movies that were infamous.

To continue the subject on Eyes Wide Shut alone, it was a masterpiece...his last great masterpiece. Tom Cruise's character just pulls the audience right in, and on the way, we move around in our seats to get comfortable and to feel safe, when we see him go off into these bizarre, creepy and mysterious incidents. We feel poignant for these characters, after what we've seen them go threw, in their real-life and dream-life adventures. I think one controversial element of the film is the fact in may be found extremely un-comfortable for some married couples.

But one very thing that I find very disturbing about Kubrick's world. It's the lack of respect he has recieved. Through life. And even through death.

The Blair Witch Project (1999)

One of the scariest flicks ever made!

[23 June 2000]

For me, this is one of the scariest films ever made. I've seen just about every horror film, and been scared by select fews, like Poltergeist, but this one ranks up there with Poltergeist, Jacob's Ladder and a few others. The fact there's no witch in sight is very clever, and also, the children sounds and such create genuinely spooky moments. The realism amazed me, the acting and cam-corder idea were incredibly real. This movie doesn't capture my love, like similar horror flicks like The Evil Dead series or The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but it has an often genuine horror feel, rarely like those, but its genuine horror all right, and in my opinion, it was one of the best horror films of the '90s.

Urban Legend (1998)

Pretty bad Scream imitator!

[23 June 2000]

The '90s was an often dull decade for the horror genre. Scream was entertaining, but not as classic as Friday the 13th, A Nightmare On Elm Street or Halloween, and it started a teeny-bopper rage of horror films that were just AWFUL! Urban Legend is the worst one. Anything interesting in the film leads to an ending that totally reminds us of the Scream films. The only comforts in the film are homages to horror icons and the appearances of Robert Englund (Freddy) and Brad Dourif (voice of Chucky.)

Supernova (I) (2000)

Wow! What an awful flick!

[23 June 2000]

Wow, this one is purely awful. In 1999, I got so tired of all the tiresomely cliched films, and Supernova continues that tradition. There's nothing much here at all, just kind of a boring Alien/2001 half-bread. Not much worse than The Bone Collector, Double Jeopardy or Eye Of The Beholder, but much, much worse than so many entertaining straight-to-video Science Fiction/Horror motion pictures.

Jurassic Park (1993)

Still my favorite film!

[10/10 · 23 June 2000]

In 1993, when Steven Spielberg's "Jurassic Park" came out, it had become my favorite film of all time. And it remains that way. For me the film is still the best movie ever made. It captures the imagination alike "Star Wars", "2001." As well as grasping hold of the thrills of "Jaws" and "Alien." The characters are such spectacular ones, filled with ENOUGH LIFE FOR ME AT LEAST, by Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Sir Richard Attenborough and Bob Peck. As well as the others in the cast. Its really a toss up for all the dino-action scenes in the film. Steven Spielberg grips our imaginations and takes us through a wild ride! For me any way, there are some very classic scenes. Many will agree, even though its unfortunate it seems so forgotten. Its CGI is still some of the best and for me AT LEAST, the CGI creates real, living creatures, just like in Jaws and Alien, not just dis-respectable names many people give it. Though the disappointment of the sequel, is the large quanity of missing cast members, it too is a classic wild ride through the very real dinosaurs of the world of Jurassic Park.

Poltergeist (1982)

One of the scariest movies ever, for me!

[13 June 2000]

I first saw this when I was a real young kid, and it still scares me today. Its one of the freakiest films ever made, as far as I'm concerned. The clown, the footsteps, the hands coming out of televisions. Gives me the creeps! Tobe Hooper really knows how to scare the hell out of people.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is still today, his best. Unfortunately, he hasn't actually had a lot of horror films come out. Strange too, because like I said, he can make really scary flicks.

Halloween (1978)

Still the best of the series!

[10/10 · 9 June 2000]

In 1978, John Carpenter had brought to the horror world...Halloween. Which was actually supposed to be a sequel to the 1974 horror flick Black Christmas. But Halloween became a stand-alone film and often a film hailed as the best slasher film ever. Despite what some say, Psycho is actually, the film that probably started the whole slasher film craze. And then The Texas Chainsaw Massacre kick-started it even more. So I wouldn't necessarily say Halloween started the slasher genre. But still, it's certainly often called the best.

In my opinion the best slasher is Freddy, and the best slasher movie, A Nightmare On Elm Street. But Michael Myers is always a haunting image and his series a very infamous one.

In Halloween, little Mikey, as well all know, slaughters his sis and ends up in a mental hospital. But he breaks out and heads for Haddonfield, Illinois to track down his second sister, Laurie Strode (who would later change her name to Kerie Tate.) Anyway, he picks up some victims on the way to stalking his second sis, and in the process, creating infamous horror moments, that will be zapped in our mines for our entire life.

John Carpenter, who has created other great cinema spectacles, created a film with strong atmosphere, mood and of course, music. And the cast members do a great job. Jamie Lee Curtis really deserves the SCREAM QUEEN title. And all the Michael Myers performers did excellent. My ratings of the Halloween series *****

Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

An 0.K. sequel

[5 June 2000]

This is the sequel to one of my all-time favorite horror films and it was an O.K. sequel. It was not as good as I had remembered, when I bought it just a few months ago. But it's still a great vampire movie, with special make-up effects that equal that of the first film, and the picture quality is alike the first. Still, I must say the nutty vampire was funny, but not as memorable as Evil Ed's contribution to the horror franchise's comic relief. Overall this one's very entertaining, atmospheric and moody, also very freaky, but not as good as Part 1.

Vamp (1986)

Indulge you're teeth into this '80s vamp great!

[5 June 2000]

Before there was From Dusk Till Dawn...before there was Tales From The Crypt Presents Bordello of Blood...there was VAMP! Grace Hill (from Roger Moore's last Bond movie) plays a vampire-leader who owns a strip-club and does erotically-weird dances for the customers. Also, there's a vampire who works for Gracey, and he reveals to us, that nobody ever tells anybody their going to a strip club. And that's a good reason the fanged-frights always work at strip clubs. Robert Russler from A Nightmare On Elm Street 2 and Weird Science appears in this superbly entertaining midnight snack.

Phantasm (1979)

A classic horror film that has strong definitions of horror!

[5 June 2000]

Phantasm is a strong definition of the horror genre, and it makes little sense, but maybe the series is all just a dream. The plot is very macabre and gripping for any horror fan, and the infamous Tall-Man is one creepy camper. One of the things I love so much about these movies is the rabid-Jaws. The TallMan transforms often dug-up human corpses into these critters that might make the Stormtroopers have 2nd thoughts about blasting these little spudnicks. They really are some funny characters.

Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954)

Monster movie classic!

[5 June 2000]

The Creature has always been one of my favorite movie monsters and this movie is one of the best of the post-Wolfman-Frankenstein-Dracula etc.-days. Gill puts on an unforgettable performance and he could probably act in a Drama. He's really good at dramatic scenes. The babe here is one of the best Universal Monster Babes ever!

Retro Puppet Master (1999 Video)

Awful!Awful!Disappointingly awful sequel like Part 6

[3 June 2000]

I grew up as a Puppet Master fan with my brother, and expected good ones with 6&7. But Full Moon has f$#%#@ up the series hugely! Part 6 was so lame with a Forrest Gump-type character and puppet shots from other installments. Retro-PuppetMaster is even worse! It so awfully and embarrassingly rips off Dark City. And there's barely any puppet action. Hell, they even made a titling mistake many viewers make "Puppet Master" is not together like "Puppetmaster" or at least until this one, this one really is big-time s*$%, it's romance is so awful and the acting is probably at it's worse!! The only good parts were when they should the Puppet Master, Toulon with his modern-puppets from 1-6.

Puppet Master II (1990 Video)

My personal favorite of the series!

[6/10 · 3 June 2000]

The Puppet Masters are usually looked at, as the exceptions of Full Moon Pictures. Their fun little B-horror flicks that work up good special effects and a fun time. This one is probably the most atmospheric and moody for me. And the nudity is great! The sequel to a good B-horror movie, followed by good B-movies, at least until the awful 6 and 7.

Howling III (1987)

Howl!Howl!Howl!Woo!Wee! This movie rocks!

[3 June 2000]

This is the best of the sequels, and is actually as freaky as the first one! Though the first one is of course, is made much more professional than all the sequels, and the acting is greater and everything, but some of the sequels are very, very entertaining B-horror movies.

Scream 3 (2000)

The best of the Screams!

[27 May 2000]

The Scream deserves much respect for reigniting the horror genre, but the original was very overrated, however Scream 2 was a blastier movie than the original and delivered a higher body-count, more blood and even more great looking babes. Unfortunately it never was considered better than the first. But I thought it was more wicked. But Scream 3 is undoubtedly the best film of the series, it pulled off some spectacular fun cheesy qualities and had more sophisticated-talking than ever before! This one was more entertaining than the first two, with very cool, varying settings and again great looking babes! The gore may have been toned down a bit and there was no reason they could'nt show the shower-girl nude! Damn!!!! But, it was a hell of a ride, and I saw it 3 times in the theatre. I saw the first two only once in the theatre.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation (1994)

Wow, one of the most bizarre horror franchises ever!

[27 May 2000]

The latest Texas Chainsaw Massacre, is absolutely no rest from the bizarre first three horror films. Leatherface here is performed just like Gunnar Hansen's take in the 1974 granddaddy of all horror films, " The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." The actors seem to overact sometimes, it's pretty corny...still the humor and craziness of the flick are entertaining, as well as the music and atmosphere. Definitely the best film of the two leading stars, who would go on to become Hollywood heartthrobs. You'll have a lot of fun if you're a horror fan who likes to see some weird B-ish stuff.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974)

A classic among slasher films!

[9/10 · 27 May 2000]

Known as the granddaddy of all horror films, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a non-stop, heart-pounding, bizarre-as-hell horror legend, that delivers a great gritty picture quality and a cannibalistic Brady Bunch. One of the original modern-day slasher films was first witnessed by these eyes, as a not-so-gory but suspenseful, bizarre ride into the very realistic world of Leatherface and company. This may be one of the first slasher films to start with unsuspecting nubile teen-casts.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

A little cornier than I remembered

[26 May 2000]

I remembered this film to be very entertaining, but I just saw it a few days ago and it's not that great as I remembered. There's some pretty bad acting, and the direction is pretty bad too. It's very unintentionally funny, if you want some laughs and the gore and nudity are great! But the least of the series. NOTE : This film mainly focuses on Pinhead, one of the cinema's most freaky villains.

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

Entertainingly pleasing, but no Jason!

[9/10 · 19 May 2000]

This one is really f$*@&%# energetic. However it has always suffered from the fact Jason is'nt the hacker this time around. There's just no substitute for the real thing, and of course, Jason is indeed the real thing. Another major letdown, is Jason's not here, but there's more nudity here than ever before! There's 6 breats, with 8, if you include wet-shirts. Also, there's some gruesomely classic and inventive death sequences. The beginning credits and everything rule, but we're just all letdown with the MIA Jason.

Leprechaun 5: In the Hood (2000 Video)

The worst of the series!

[18 May 2000]

This straight-to-video horror flick delivers what many current straight-to-video horror movies delivered : BORDEM!BORDEM!BORDEM!BORDEM! What happened to the days of wonderful direct-to-video B-cheeseball horror series' like the Maniac Cop series (they need to do a Maniac Cop 4) and The Slumber Party Massacre series, and the Puppet Master was great until the last two : Curse of the Puppet Master and Retro-Puppet Master. And the Leprechaun series at least use to be a little freaky, now Lep's just boring thanks to this disappointingly dull sequel. I give this one 1/2 a star out of ***** for some good gore.

Bride of Chucky (1998)

Spectacularly entertaining!

[9/10 · 18 May 2000]

I've commented once on this Chucky great, but I had to do it again to say some things about the film, when I first saw it in a great balcony in a great theater. The film was a lot of fun in the theater and my first Chucky film ever in a theater, and that was a special moment for me, because I cherish Chucky. The other horror villains are referenced with GREAT COOLNESS!!! And the gore was shockingly great! The scene where the gay kid gets nailed by the truck was amazingly cheerful! That was a great gore scene!!!!! And the ending was so bizarre and shocking it made me s*%@ my pants. The idea of having the Seed of Chucky was very, very bizarre and shocking! When I left the theater I just loved it and I could'nt believe it was real. The bizarre and different qualities of this Child's Play installment for some reason made me mark it as the Jason Goes To Hell of the Child's Play series. It just had that intensely shocking, bizarre and different quality that reminded me of Jason Goes To Hell. A sure ***** out of *****. Here's how I rank the series : 1,4,2,3. I loved it but not quite as much as Tom Holland's original Child's Play classic. I can't wait for Seed of Chucky! Bring it on!

Popcorn (1991)

Creepy, fun, horror flick!

[18 May 2000]

I just saw this horror flick recently and loved it! The story is mysterious and the films-within-a film that were shown at the theater were funny, '50s monster movie spoofs. The spectacular horror-veteran actress Dee Wallace Stone stars in the film with the teen cast consisting of the daughter from Stepfather, and another black girl who was in A Nightmare On Elm Street 5 : The Dream Child. Overall the plot's cool and the Scream series was very much like it. I give this one ***** out of *****