Lumiere-5 Reviews

A Murder of Quality (1991 TV Movie)

Good adaptation

[9 August 2013]

SO I just watched the film version of Jean LaCarre's *A Murder of Quality*. I liked the way the book ended better. However, it did prove something I had been saying for a long time: that Gary Oldman made a TERRIBLE George Smiley. He does not look right and he does not act right. You see, I'm a HUGE Smioley fan and, like most, I'm a fan from the books. Smiley is described as a funny little man and a disheveled Oxford Don. He has great humor about him that masks a great rage, and his rage is righteous, almost zealous. He is a champion in a battle between good and evil, and he hates the fact that he is constantly doing evil in the name of good. Oldman was wrong physically and was wrong in temperament. Eliot, a great if often overlooked British Actor, plays that switch between humor and rage perfectly, and he looks like a funny little Oxford Don. When I read that Elliot played smiley in this version I knew it would be great, because his turn as Marcus Brody in the Indiana Jones movies had all of Smiley's humor and the Oxford don clichés without his cunning or his rage.

In addition to Elliot, the movie has a terrific cast, including Joss Ackland at his sonorous best, Glenda Jackson, and a very young Christian Bale in a pivotal role (this was right before Newsies and a couple years after Henry V). It has that typical made for TV British mystery plodding, and one or two incredibly poor digital mats, but I really liked it.

In Bruges (2008)

Two hit men blow a job and are told to go hide out in Bruges

[10/10 · 26 February 2008]

What a great film. Both gritty and beautiful, superbly acted, with a taught script. There are predictable parts, but they are often only foreshadowed by a few minutes. It is one of those great dark crime comedies that the Brits are so good at--a little lighter than Sexy Beast, a little darker than Snatch, but with a dream-like quality that shows just a touch of influence from Felini. Really fun flick. In a way the characters are a bit clichéd--especially Ralph Fienes' gangster, but that's no big deal. I thought the inclusion of Jimmy the racist dwarf was a stroke of brilliance, and the tight way he is woven into the script shows some real skill. Go see this film.

World Gone Wild (1987)

There will be Helter-skelter

[1 May 2003]

Yet another Seven Samurai ripoff--did you notice the picture of Steve MacQueen in Michael Pare's hovel, just in case we didn't get it? This thing has two things to reccomend it--Bruce Dern being more or less as crazy as always, which has been a great thing to watch since The Cowboys at the very least, and Adam Ant proving that he should have done more movies because he is really entertaining. I wonder if they've done it on MST3K.

Whacked (I) (1998)

Mobsters in a Winabego

[3 April 2003]

This is one of those that I would love to see turned into a feature. It is a hilarious take on both the Mobster genre and the movies about movies genre. The comic wiseguys running around in a winebego are a riot. If you get a chance, check it out.

The Twelve Chairs (1970)

See this film!

[10/10 · 6 March 2003]

Mel Brooks directed four of the funniest movies ever made, and this is one of them. Brooks is one of the few directors able to bring Russian tragicomedy to an American audience and pull it off. This is an absolute must own for every Mel Brooks fan!

Still Breathing (1997)

Do you believe in true love?

[25 October 2002]

Cynics and idiots have dismissed this movie as "unrealistic" or "a boring chick flick." Too bad. They just don't get it.

This is a romantic comedy in the old style, where a lovable eccentric dreams of his one true love and goes to seek her out. Naturally, she turns out to be fallen woman with a heart of gold. Where in the twenties this might have lead to "zany comedy" this is more like a poem--soft and romantic and sweet. Visually, musically, emotionally it is beautiful--not stunningly beautiful like a sunset, but warm and beautiful and familliar like like a hidden garden you happen upon for the first time, sure you have dreamt about a place just like this. We would all like to believe (at least I hope we would) in true love.

The folks who dismiss this movie are like the heroine, Ros: cynical, hard edged and business like, with no room for dreams or fantasies in their cold cruel realistic worlds. But in the end Ros gets it. She allows herself to dream and to believe. Pity those morons who don't.

Movies aren't about "realism." They're about fantasy. This one rocks.

What a Way to Go! (1964)

All she wants is love, all she gets is money!

[9/10 · 2 August 2002]

This is a great film. Some have said it epitomizes the 1960s glamour comedies but what it cleverly does is parody them, and other film genres, through its movie dream sequences and the ridiculous and gorgeous costumes Shirley wears. It has a great cast and everyone is in top tongue in cheek form. Dick Van Dyke plays his usual neo-Marx brothers physical comedy schtick (with Margaret DuMont, no less!) at the height of his powers. Paul Newman is great playing against type as a tortured artist, a perfect sendup of Kirk Douglas' portrayal of Van Gough in *Lust for Life* (he even wears the same beard). Mitchum is suave and cool as a kind of Cash McCall gone wrong, but far more slick then Jim Garner ever was. To top it off, Gene Kelley does an incredible spot on parody of himself in the Holywood story, with iconic images taken straight from his greatest triumph *Singing in the Rain,* turned on their head and twisted into a grotesque commentary on the evils of Hollywood as opposed to its dreams and glamour. The scene where he is trampled to death by his fans holds up a hilarious mirror to the similar scene in *Singing in the Rain* where he has his clothes torn off by them. This film elevated parody to a high art form before anybody had even heard the term "post modernism!" And those gowns she wears! The best one is the one which is just a string of pearls down Shirley's sexy back (she faces away from the camera for the shole scene because she is obviously topless). They must have cost a fortune! this is obviously a film with a very Lush Bugett!

20 Dates (1998)

What was this exactly?

[8/10 · 4 May 2002]

Was this a mockumentary? Was it a documentary? Was it a student film. I will say this: it was funny. Some of it was obviously fictional, I just don't know how much. Was this a doccumentary which was re-edited with some scripted parts to give it pizazz or was it supposed to be this way from the beginning. It certainly kept me guessing. It wasnt' as good at its press, though it obviously impressed people at Slam Dance. It doesn't actually have anything to say about dating in Los Angeles, except in repeating the old adage about LA women needing an emotional sky-cap to carry all the baggage they bring with them. The nebish trying to get a date bit has been done so much better in every one of Woody Allen's films. So why do I like this movie so much? I have no idea. It's on cable now, so watch it.

Death to Smoochy (2002)

Fellini meets Tarantino

[29 April 2002]

This is the best film I've seen so far this year. I was very sorry I listened to the critics and waited as long as I did. It was laugh out loud funny, with a very twisted sense of humor and some great performances, especially from Edward Norton (If Fight Club and American History X convinced me he was good, this movie convinced me he is truly great--after all, "dying is easy: it's comedy that's hard").

The critics are morons. Perhaps in this post 9/11 world it irony truly is dead. It presented us with a cynic's view of the children's entertainment industry which was probably pretty disturbing to some but which I have long suspected to be close to the truth. I can think of no good reason for people not to like this movie. Go see it. Now.

Bandits (2001)

There are, after all, only 13 plots in all of literature.

[6/10 · 10 March 2002]

I liked it better the first time when it was called "Lucky Lady." It's the same story beginning to end. Thornton and Willis and Blanchette are fine, but nowhere near as much fun as Hackman, Reynolds and Manelli, and it really misses John Hillerman's evil charm. It's not too bad, but see the other one.

The Front Page (1974)

A great film

[10/10 · 27 November 2001]

I think the reason a lot of critics, and others, didn't like this film is because they were fans of the Howard Hawks version, "His Girl Friday." People who identify this as a re-make of "His Girl Friday" are incorrect, however. It is a remake of the 1931 film, also called "The Front Page," and all of them are adaptations of a stage play by Ben Hecht. The first version I saw was this one, and it is still my favorite. In fact, it is one of my favorite films, period. Don't get me wrong: I liked the others as well (yes, I have seen the 1931 version). I originally refused to see "His Girl Friday" because I thought the conceit of making Hildy a woman and love interest to Walter was too precious. Okay, I was wrong about that. But of all three versions of this story this is by far the best. I think it is one of Lemon's best acting jobs. Carol Burnette and Susan Sarandon ae the other stand-outs, and of course Lemon and Mathau are the best comic duo of their generation. This is a great film, one of the best from the best comic director of all time. It deserves much more recognition then it has received.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Is there a there there?

[17 November 2001]

It's hard to argue with the box. This film is likely to be the highest grossing film of all time and, I'll say this for it, it is certainly a lot better then Titanic. But there still wasn't much to it. While filming something which originally appeared in print instantly makes it more accessible, as many people can't or won't read, I wondered watching this movie if it is possible to film something as magical as Harry Potter and still have it be magical. The age old debate about viewing versus imagination is highly appropriate for this film. Movie technology has become so good that nothing really astounds us any more, and since effects can no longer carry a film, it needs a good story or a fun story to do so. This story, derivative as it is, is not bad, and the movie certainly is fun. The best thing about it is the cast. Every one of them is top notch and bring a humanity to material which could too easily be trite (sometimes it becomes trite anyway, but that probably couldn't be helped). For that alone, I'm not sorry i saw the film at all. And, although it is loaded with gimmicks, the gimmicks don't weigh it down the way they often do in other high budget films. Worth ten bucks, easily.

American Pie 2 (2001)

It gets better toward the end, really

[7/10 · 17 September 2001]

Yet another sequel which, after floundering around in search of a plot, settles into repeating the plot of the first movie (anybody remember Major League 2?). Fortunately, this movie has some truly funny moments toward the end, and, of course, Eugene Levey and Jason Biggs are fabulous.

Rat Race (2001)

So funny it is dangerous

[8/10 · 17 September 2001]

Remember the "World's Deadliest Joke" skit on Monty Python? This movie is that funny. As I was walking out of the theatre I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath. I had to stop several times because my sides hurt so much. I was still laughing five blocks away, and for the past two days I have been randomly bursting out in peals of laughter. This is one funny movie. It is stupid, predictable, has only two or three jokes and plays them over and over again, but the same can be said of most great comedies. This one is in the "It's a Mad Mad Mad Mad World" genre, and although this cast isn't as great as that one was (what cast is?), they hold up well. If you don't laugh at this film you have no sense of humor. Rowan Atkinson and John Lovitz are absolutely brilliant. See this film!

The Magic Christian (1969)

A fool and his money . . .

[10/10 · 17 September 2001]

A lot of people just don't get this film, and that is truly sad. A lot of others get it but don't like the joke, and that's ok, because they likely see too much of themselves in the film and are justifiably disturbed. When you are being satirized (and we all are in this film) it's ok to be offended. A hallmark of my favorite genre, the 60s acid comedy, this movie is probably better when chemically altered. Not because it doesn't make any sense, but because your likely to just laugh and not notice how true it all is. Don't deny it: everyone has their price. Peter Sellars is one of the few true geniuses of the film industry and he shows it here. Ringo is an empty headed idiot, which is probably type casting but it works. Keep your eye out for impossibly young John Cleese and Graham Chapman. This movie is the true fore runner of The Flying Circus, and like a Flying Circus episode it has no plot. It is stream of consciousness film making, and it works. Also watch out for the most surprising drag scene ever. One of the best films ever made.

The President's Analyst (1967)

Paranoia at its best

[10/10 · 17 September 2001]

Ok, I'll admit it. There are occasional days when, if you ask me my favorite movie of all time, this is the movie I'll name. Don't ask me why. Maybe it is my deep seated hatred and paranoia toward the phone company. Maybe it is just that this film captures my view of politics, diplomacy, and psycho analysis in a nutshell. Maybe it's just the way Coburn delivers the line "Canadian spies?" I don't know. Regardless, this, while it may not be the best movie ever made, is one of the most fun. Say it with me: "We are your phone company. . . "

The Musketeer (2001)

really REALLY bad

[1/10 · 11 September 2001]

This movie sucked. It sucked so bad it redefines suckiness. Even the teenagers who saw it thought so. I heard two of them talking in he lobby. One said "The Charlie Sheen version was better," and his friend said "Dude! The candy bar is better." I think that sums it up. Rent the Richard Lester version (in my top five movies of all time).

Cadaverous (2000)

Don't play doctor if you don't like dead people

[10/10 · 18 January 2001]

This short film about a med student with a fear of death captures the true spirt of Grand-Guignol: farcical and frightening at the same time, with a menacing professor, a hilarious janitor and a slightly off-balance hero. Oh yeah, and dead people; lots and lots of dead people. If you get a chance to see it, do. You will be entertained.

The 13th Warrior (1999)

Take historical manuscript, mix with famous myth, stir

[10/10 · 29 August 1999]

Awesome! Totally awesome! One of the most exhilarating movies I've ever seen! Far better than any of the so-called blockbusters that crashed down upon us earlier this summer. This was one cool film, and from one of my favorite books (usually when a book I love gets filmed, I want to puke).

Crichton takes the manuscript of Ibn Fadhlan (one of the most important documents in history, an eyewitness account of Vikings by an Arab diplomat who was kidnapped by them while on a mission to the Bulgars--from which anthropologists got the eyewitness account of a Viking funeral) and combines it with the story of Beowulf, changed a bit to make the monsters into men. Parts of the book has been changed to make them more visual for the film, but the result is an amazing array of images masterfully woven into a rich tapestry of 10th Century heroism. Okay, the armor sucks--there's no reason to put Buliwyf/Beowulf into gothic plate other then to give the film a Boris Valejo flare. Other then that, however, it is truly stunning. There is a sense here both of the barbarism of the Vikings as Ibn Fadhlan first encounters them, and the heroism and spirit he finds as he gets to know them and, eventually, becomes one of them. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!

Very Bad Things (1998)

Bad Movies Happen

[1/10 · 24 July 1999]

Horrible. Awful. Really really bad.

I was fully expecting to like this movie. It's a genre I like. It has a great cast. I tend to like everything. I did not like this, and it is hard to say why.

It was extremely well acted. Christian Slater plays the same maniac he usually plays, but since he's the best maniac since his look alike Jack Nicholson, why stop him? Cameron Diaz is absolutely brilliant. The rest of the cast is extremely strong. The fact of the matter is it is too well acted for the subject matter. Playing it straight was a mistake. If it had been the comedy it was advertised to be, a la "Heathers," or if had had anything positive in it at all, it might have been worth watching. This was like one of those Jacobean tragedies like "Tis Pity She's a Whore," where all of the characters are both evil *and* stupid, and where the story just lumbers along through a series of increasingly vicious tragedies until at the end everyone is dead or destroyed or maimed or crazy. They make good use of the grotesque in the tradition of, John Webster, but with none of Webster's over the top humor. It made me want to slit my wrists, but even the best slit your wrists movies like "Seven" and "Runaway Train" have something to redeem them at the end. It was more like "A Simple Plan" than anything, an attempt at a modern tragedy/morality tale, but in "A Simple Plan" I was able to care about the characters, so their fall was tragic. Here everybody is either a scum bag or an idiot from the very beginning, and it ended up being just plain bad. Don't even bother to rent it.

Summer of Sam (1999)

The 70s as I remember them

[11 July 1999]

Spike Lee has made an excellent film. People who want to see a movie about David Berkowitz are bound to be disappointed, because this wasn't about the Son of Sam. This movie was about New York in the 70's, the New York that Spike Lee grew up in (and that I remember from watching the nightly news as a boy). The Son of Sam killings were a national story and led to a national hysteria, but nowhere was that hysteria greater then in New York City, and Lee captures that with vivid clarity. This was yet another contribution to the current 70's nostalgia craze, and a much better contribution then a new Brady Bunch movie (at last someone concentrated on the good parts of the 70's, like Reggie Jackson and The Who). I didn't find the sex scenes that gratuitous-- though he did manage to show that, even along side Mira Sorvino, older women can be sexy too (if they happen to be broadway stars Patti LuPone and Bebe Neuwirth). The acting was first rate. John Leguizamo and Adrian Brody are both riveting. Mira Sorvino underplays her role of the tortured housewife to perfection. The entire ensemble was marvelous in the way they tried to deal with the horror which was going on around them, panicking while all the while pretending life could go on as usual. As usual in Spike's films, the camerawork was superb. Best of all, Lee managed to employ the post-modern MTV style in a film with serious subject matter. He isn't the first to do so and he didn't take it to any new heights (and, indeed, it may have nowhere else to go), but it made for a fun ride. Worth every penny (which I could not say about Austin Powers or Wild Wild West).