fjhuerta-2 Reviews

Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver (2024)

Stupid, formulaic, paint by numbers, ugly looking.

[2/10 · 20 April 2024]

So, let's start with the good things.

At least Snyder didn't put us up with another 4 hour "epic" as he did with his version of the justice league.

But it's obvious Part 1 and 2 were supposed to be a single movie. Instead of "epic" he gave us an inflated, color by numbers, slow motion boring fest.

Stealing every idea from every sci-fi movie he could, including obviously The Matrix ideas and palette, the whole Star Wars universe, and The Magnificent Seven and A Bug' s Life, Snyder fired up his video editing suite, lowered brightness until nothing could be seen, added HDR, lens flares and color, and then thought he had made a great movie. Sadly, his kindergarten-grade storytelling abilities betray him everytime he tries to direct.

He could be an amazing videogame cutscene designer, or an interesting director of photography. But writing and directing? They are so above and beyond his capabiities it's not funny.

Ms. Marvel (2022)

How Marvel lost its course.

[3/10 · 9 January 2024]

This is not a "bad" series. That is, if you are a teen girl who likes iCarly or one of the Nickelodeon shows.

But then, it has these gory scenes with people being murdered with knives. So, I guess it's not really a teen series.

But then, it has some superhero action... which happens halfway around episode 4 and 6.

It seems to be tied to the MCU by Carol Danvers... but only in mentioning for a couple of seconds. So, it really doesn't matter whether you watch it or not.

And it really seems to be more focused on comedy... or historical aspects... or how many boys Miss Marvel dates... or saving the world from annihilation (apparently, this aspect was so ignored it may as well not exist).

This is a rudderless series that shows how badly Marvel has failed us, its fans. It tries to include everything for everyone, and it ends up being pretty much nothing.

Rebel Moon - Part One: A Child of Fire (2023)

Unbelievably boring

[3/10 · 23 December 2023]

I can tolerate many things. A badly written movie. Bad special effects. Bad acting.

But not a boring movie. This is a boring movie.

Good points: some shots, I guess. They are stunning.

Bad things: The whole story could have been told in 5 minutes, or as a rolling text, as in Star Wars. I could not follow the story because it was SO boring. Everything is just BORING. Nothing interesting happens.

Some special effects, much to my surprise, were terrible. I honestly wasn't expecting this from Snyder. There's a certain scene with a spaceship bombing a city where the ship looks worse than an early 2000's videogame.

I've read the story was stolen from other sources. Probably, but honestly, I was so bored I didn't even care which stories they took it from.

Everything is sepia colored and dark. It's just too hard to try and make out what's going on at times because of the darkness.

I find it weird how people complained about Rey being overpowered to the point of being a Mary Sue, when the main character in this movie is even worse. She can take on entire armies with her bare hands. FFS.

But the worse thing - the movie is boring. Nothing really happens. It's as if Snyder thought that creating some scenes with "impressive" visuals and cheap violence would cover up the fact that he didn't tell a good story.

History of the World: Part II (2023)

Awful. Just awful. And I'm a Mel Brooks fan.

[2/10 · 1 April 2023]

I can't believe this. It's as bad as Spaceballs: The series. 10 minutes into the first episode and not a single laugh, no interesting plot, nothing. A bore of a series, badly acted, absolutely uninteresting. Who greenlighted this?

It should be obvious this was going to be a bore. During the beginning, Mel Brooks claims he's a legend. In his own mind, I suppose. And then he shows up as a very muscular man, claiming it's him during the 80s. Honestly, this seems the funniest part of the entire series.

Easily the worst Mel Brooks ever.... at least its on par with Spaceballs. At least this one isn't a cartoon.

Beavis and Butt-Head Do the Universe (2022)

Perfection

[9/10 · 3 July 2022]

Mike Judge brought back Beavis and Butt-Head absolutely intact from the 90's, and it's such a glorious thing to see. Times have changed, but our need to simply laugh our asses off at something this dumb, hasn't. Jackass Forever and Do the Universe remind us that MTV was as cool as anything else out there 20-30 years ago.

I'd rate it a 69 if I could.

Action Point (2018)

Not bad, but not boring. It makes so much sense if you know about Action Park

[6/10 · 30 May 2022]

Most of the fun we got out of the movie was watching replicas of the real Action Park attractions, and getting a feel of the overall mayhem the original park must have been. Johnny Knoxville and Chris Pontius bring a lot of chemistry on screen, stunts are as painful as in Jackass, and the overall tone is light and unassuming. I was surprised to see how closely the story mirrors the original Action Park, I guess they could have just said it was "based on real events", and it would have been somewhat true. It could have been so much better, but it's OK as is.

Chernobyl: Abyss (2021)

A cheap imitation of the vastly superior HBO Series

[3/10 · 5 March 2022]

No spoilers here, but if you want to watch a movie about Chernobyl.. don't waste your time. Every event, and the timeline itself, is fabricated. There's not an ounce of historical truth here, but plenty of made up drama. Skip, and watch the vastly, vastly superior HBO Series.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

A gentle love letter to Ghostbusters fans, and Harold Ramis.

[8/10 · 28 February 2022]

It's not perfect. Sure, the film focuses far too much on Phoebe and "podcast". Trevor is ignored, as well as his story arc. Far too many "Deus ex machina" moments.

BUT - and this is a huge one - the movie has its heart in a perfect place. A homage to a friend of everyone involved in the original movie. It plays so nicely, you can't help but end up liking this movie, beyond its faults. It's just such a gentle farewell to Egon, the character, and Harold Ramis, the man. Everyone came back to say goodbye.

Such a lovely trip down memory lane. Thank you for erasing the 2016 reboot. This is the movie we fans deserved since 1984.

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

The Matrix can be many things, but never boring. Resurrections is a bore.

[3/10 · 27 December 2021]

I'm beginning to think that the Wachowskis had a single great idea (The Matrix), an extra good movie after that (V for Vendetta), and the desire for some of the greatest eye candy ever (Speed Racer). Because everything else they have done is simply terrible.

The first 30 minutes are terrible. They are full of exposition, rehashes of the old movies and boring stuff. But the rest of the movie is worse.

I never understood why there was a new Matrix, or who created it. Or why. Nor I cared about it. Keanu Reeves spent the entire movie with his "whoa" face. And at the end I had it, too. But a bad "whoa".

Avoid at all costs.

Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)

It's pretty much the same JL we got, only with more slow motion, and unnecessary scenes. There's a good movie in there waiting to be released, but this one is not it.

[5/10 · 22 March 2021]

Mild spoilers here.

8.4 does not truly describe this movie.

Is it better than JL 2017? Yep.

Action scenes are better. There are some truly breathtaking scenes. Snyder is a master when it comes to fights. There were certain parts where I was glad I was watching the movie. His JL looks far better than the 2017 one, which seems austere and pale in comparison.

Now, for the bad things.

Snyder tried again to cram 20+ movies into one. He seems to desperately want to measure up to Marvel. First of all - he can't. He's not a good director. He can chroeograph incredible fighting scenes. He can create some out of this world visuals. But he cannot direct a movie with the right pacing and amount of detail. He should let that to the pros. He's obviously way out of his depth here.

If we take out the slow motion scenes, so many of them deeply and completely unecessary, the movie would last 30 minutes less. If we took out all of the unnecessary moments, scenes, and dialogue (like the flying car scene, which leads to nowhere, or the "Martian Manhunter" easter egg that has no place in the movie) we could probably take 30 minutes more out of the movie. 3 hours would make for a snappier experience.

Still - the major issues are there. There's just not enough time to care about anybody or everybody. WW had her movie, Bats and Superman did, so, yeah. But we don't know a thing about Aquaman, Flash or Cyborg. And there's just not enough time to tell their stories.

I wanted for all the exposition to end to watch the fight scenes, just because of how amazing they looked. But it was like a demo of a good movie, not the good movie in itself.

Corny melodies accompanying the protagonists, strange changes in sound design (Voices sometimes felt and sounded different from the rest of the movie(, and the fact that the pacing was uneven and SLOW made this movie boring.

I'll never watch it again. 4 hours is far too much to waste on a still unfinished product. Still, nice try, Snyder. It's better than the other version. I'll give you that.

UHF (1989)

Surprisingly fun and enjoyable.

[8/10 · 14 February 2021]

Not bad at all. Expectations were ridiculously high for this movie- there's no way Weird Al could deliver on them, and considering the competition. it's no surprise this movie was deemed a failure. Having said that, it's still as enjoyable and fun and clean as it ever was.

In retrospective, it was a better movie, than, say, Ghostbusters II, and most of its competition.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

What an absolute mess

[3/10 · 28 December 2020]

I just kept watching to see if it would get better.

It did.

Nothing makes sense. At all. The whole movie is based on a premise that would have probably been at home on an old Superfriends 7 minute cartoon (come to think of it - that's the quality of the writing). The acting, beyond Gal Gadot and Pedro Pascal's , is completely abominable. Dialog is cringue-worthy. The ending sis stupid.

Honestly, just reboot the whole DCU at this point.

Mutiny of the Worker Bees (2020)

Garbage. Don't bother

[1/10 · 2 March 2020]

Another one of those mexican films that are made so that the government spends every last cent in formulaic, no brainer crap.

Don't waste your money watching this. It's exactly as dull and pointless as the poster, where everyone looks completely fake and posing.

How many times can you laugh at a "Godinez" (cubicle dweller?). Yes, we know about tupperware. We know about the clothing. Yes, it has already been shown in at least one more movie (with Godinez on the title).

The only fair thing about the movie is Alejandro Suarez, but then again, this is not saying much.

Technically inept and crude, stupid, badly filmed and dumb. Don't bother.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

Better than expected. Thank GOD Sonic was re-done

[7/10 · 15 February 2020]

Not a bad movie, after all. Nice message, very well made CGI, and Sonic looked and acted as I imagined it should be.

The fact that he was re-done was reason enough for me to go and see the movie. A company listening to its customers and actually delivering a quality product because of complaints? That's pretty much unheard of in the movie industry. This could have been a "Cats" level disaster. Instead, it was pretty enjoyable, sweet and fun.

But, oh, Jim Carrey. Did he steal the show? Yes, indeed. His acting was superb, and on the level of his best movies. Just goes to prove - he should be let go and be himself every once in a while.

Sonic and Jim Carrey deserved to look and act this great. What could have been a disaster of a movie ended up being a pretty nice and sweet ride. Thank you Paramount, for doing the right thing.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

NOT the ending we deserved.

[5/10 · 21 December 2019]

It's not a terrible, 1/10 movie. It's entertaining. The visuals are terrific. But that's it.

The story is terribly rushed. Everything happens and happens and happens. Once you exit the theater, you realize how rushed the movie is. And how many plot holes there are. Everything miraculously happens when it needs to. People land where they need to and find clues immediately. It's like watching a clockwork mechanism. Completely predictable and boring.

There is no chemistry between the main characters. You could see how Luke, Han and Leia were a tight unit. These guys.... Not so much.

In the end, you realize how this is just all about doing the old fans a service. But bringing back Lando, and copying verbatim several scenes from the old trilogy just won't cut it. We are smarter (and older) than that. So yeah, Disney could definitely do an incredible Marvel universe but they just didn't know what to do with Star Wars. A shame.

Coco (I) (2017)

Stunning, beautiful, colorful, powerful, sad, happy. A joy of a ride.

[10/10 · 28 October 2017]

I may be biased, since this movie portrayed perfectly what life is all about in a small Mexican town.

Or, perhaps I wanted to see Pixar really get back on the game. Go beyond Up, and make a complete movie that was as beautiful as the first 20 minutes of Wall-E.

I got my wish.

This is the movie I wanted Pixar to make, once again. A movie about what family means. A movie about the choices we make, and the roads not taken.

This is a stunning work of art. It'll move you from happiness to tears, from memories of the past to the joy of the future. To understanding, to remembrance. To the joys and pains of being alive.

I can't even begin to imagine how Pixar made a movie about life and death that is so colorful, so absorbing, so poignant, and so approachable for kids, and with so many layers upon layers upon layers of meaning and significance for adults.

To watch Coco is to love Coco, and to remember the Cocos in your life that are no longer among us.

Thank you, Pixar.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

Mind blown. I thought I'd never experience Star Wars this way again since 1977

[10/10 · 21 December 2016]

...when I was 3 years old.

This movie had me literally at the edge of my seat, hands sweaty. I couldn't stop staring at the screen. I felt I was, once again, piloting an X-Wing. I felt the excitement I thought I'd never feel again. I felt fear when the most famous bad**s of all time was back. I was exhilarated. I cried. I cheered. I had a new hope at the end of it all.

This is what the prequels should have been, instead of the garbage Lucas dumped on us. This is what we deserved all along. This is Star Wars, all grown up. And it's better than it ever was.

I'd consider this as good as Star Wars; better than every other movie, and quite frankly, far better than I could have ever expected.

Thanks Disney. You have definitely saved the franchise.

Ghostbusters: Answer the Call (2016)

A movie can be good or bad, but it should never be boring. This one is.

[2/10 · 21 November 2016]

You can enjoy bad movies (Manos, Plan 9). You can enjoy good movies (too many to mention).

But one thing a movie cannot ever be is boring. That never works for anyone.

This movie is a major bore. Nothing interesting happens (that you haven't seen before, with way funnier actors). It's a Ghostbusters rehash, with far worse acting. That's it.

The leads have NO chemistry whatsoever. The original Ghostbuster actors were a team inside and outside the set, and it showed. These actors have nothing going for them.

Dialog is boring, acting is boring, everything, everything is boring. It's just a waste of time.

It could have been bad, and it would have been a better movie than this.

Don't even download it from somewhere. It's honestly not worth's anybody's time.

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)

This is "The Phantom Menace" of the Independence Day franchise

[5/10 · 2 July 2016]

Yesterday, I watched ID4 (the original) just to make sure I wouldn't ignore any references on the new movie.

I shouldn't have. Because I was reminded of how silly great the original movie was. It was like a serialized comic book, everything made sense, the pacing was great, the characters were awesome, etc.

The new movie is like a boiling pot of good ideas that fail to impress. I went to see it with my son. When we came out, we started discussing which part was our favorite. We kept scratching our heads - and we couldn't remember a single scene!

The original is full of silly epic moments. The President's speech. The doctor being attacked by the Aliens. Will Smith punching the alien and screaming "WELCOME TO EARTH!"

The new one? My son said "dad, they made the aliens look stupid. They used to be so scary".

That was pretty much the extent of our conversation.

I couldn't imagine how they'd be able to make a bad movie out of the franchise. But they did.

No wonder the movie theatre I went to was basically empty!

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Awful. For all their money, DC can't seem to make a likable movie about Batman or Superman lately

[2/10 · 26 March 2016]

First: we all knew Henry Cavill would suck. He sucked before, it was just a matter of time before he was absolutely unlikeable as Superman again.

Second: the minute Ben Assfleck was cast as Batman, we knew we were in deep trouble. He can be a good actor, but here's one word: Daredevil.

Third: Zack Snyder. Need I say more?

While Robert Downey Jr. and the rest create likable characters in a likable universe, with interesting settings and issues, this movie is all about big explosions, bizarre relationships and... well, not much more. Where did the third major player come out from? Why was she there? Where's the rest of the Justice League? Why was it all dumb explosions? Could they have found a dumber Lex Luthor? Why on earth would Batman care so much about what Superman was telling to him in the end?

Why did I waste 2.5 hours, when this movie was so absurd, so empty, so stupid?

Really, Ant-Man is Oscar material next to this. Guardians of the Galaxy is a thousand times better. And those are the small Marvel Universe movies.

Why did they insist on casting Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck is beyond me. They destroyed the franchise before it started.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

Is this the best Star Wars movie ever?

[8/10 · 19 December 2015]

I was absolutely sure this was going to be an epic failure. Disney. Star Wars. The horrible taste the prequels left us with.

I watched the prequels before watching the movie. They were even worse than I remembered them. Atrocious. Unwatchable.

The best thing that could ever happen was Disney getting Lucasfilm off George Lucas' hands. There. I said it. George Lucas, thank you for not being involved AT ALL in this movie. You almost destroyed Star Wars with the "prequels".

But JJ Abrams and Disney... they created a masterpiece. This is movie is so stunning in so many levels I can only compare it to when I was 3 years old and watched Star Wars in a huge movie theatre. Goosebumps, chills, the whole deal. This movie feels real, looks real, just like the original trilogy did. This is amazing - I couldn't imagine Disney topping "Episode 4" - but in my humble opinion, they did.

Disney, JJ Abrams, everyone involved - feel proud about yourselves. You made me forget the prequels ever existed, and made me feel like a 3 year old kid for 2 hours.

If these guys do Episode 8 and somehow state that the prequels were "some sort of mythology that never happened", I'll be happy for the rest of my life.

10/10

The Little Prince (2015)

Terrible, horrible movie. Make sure you know what it's about, then avoid it at all costs

[2/10 · 8 November 2015]

First of all - I'm a fan of The Little Prince. I've read it ever since I was a very young kid, and now that I'm a middle aged adult, it still holds tons of surprises and things to thoroughly think about. It may as well be my favorite book ever.

So, when I saw there was going to be an adaptation of the book, I hoped for a somewhat true to the book story. Anything close to it would have been fine by me, really. I mean, the book just doesn't lend itself to a movie, IMHO. It's just too deep and complex, and too simple and sweet at the same time.

The book, to me, it's the sweetest and most delicate balance of what being a human being is all about. What moves us, as seen from the eyes of a wise, sweet, innocent child.

The movie, therefore, is an atrocity and an insult to Antoine De Saint-Exupery. Period. It's the grossest, vilest insult to The Little Prince I could ever imagine.

First - I should have known from the ads. The Little Prince is a little icon, far away from the main characters - The Aviator, The Fox, and... The Girl???? Where did the little girl come from? Apparently, the movie makers thought they just couldn't make a movie without adding extra characters. And then, I suppose, they thought making a movie about the original story would have been too difficult, so they just tossed it all away and wrote an original story about a little girl and her mom.

I wish I was kidding. I'm not. The Little Prince story is just an excuse to move along a primary story about something else. It's treated as an extra, as something superfluous, as something - I guess - they had to do because the movie was named "The Little Prince", If you went in, expecting to watch something related to the real story, you are going to be very, very disappointed.

Second - the story never goes into what makes The Little Prince so special. You get to see the Little Prince traveling through asteroids, talking to his rose, taming his fox. Is any of this explained or explored in detail? No. It is treated as a distraction to the main story. The filmmakers never even bother to explore the symbolism behind the story. It's merely treated as an excuse for telling an alternate story.

Third - and this is where the spoiler goes. The Little Prince is all about love, tenderness, anger, happiness and ultimately, sadness. It's a moving story, told in the sweetest way possible - through the eyes of a small child. What on EARTH were the filmmakers thinking when they threw in action scenes? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?!?!?!? I won't spoil it all, but when I saw scenes straight out of a video game, with violence, planes zooming in and out, adventure, etc., I almost walked out of the theater. The only thing that made me stay there was my child.

Fourth - another spoiler. The aviator was a child with a wonderful imagination, who grew up to become a jaded person. The Little Prince helped him question his beliefs and rediscover a sense of wonder he had lost. In the movie, the aviator is a childish old man. Not "child-like", or full of wonder. The whole point of the book was how an adult can become responsible, knowledgeable, yet retain his sensibility and sense of wonder throughout. Nowhere is this to be seen - the aviator is just like a spoiled, irreverent, incoherent child. Which is even more absurd when you see the real Little Prince's sequences, and you realize how different both versions of the aviator are.

Fifth - another spoiler. If you ever want to see part of your childhood ruined and torn to pieces, go watch this movie. You'll see where The Little Prince ended up. And believe me, you'll want to shout your lungs out at the filmmakers for destroying your childhood image of what his little Majesty would end up like. It's a travesty. It's depressing. It's false. And it's absolutely, completely wrong.

This is the most misguided, insulting and infuriating book adaptation I've ever seen. It's as if Star Wars: Episode 7 was about a kid watching Star Wars: A New Hope 30 minutes at a time. It's just... wrong.

Shame on everyone involved in making this travesty. 2 stars, because the animation showing what The Little Prince was really about was actually very well done.

Jurassic World (2015)

Yet more proof Steven Spielberg is a hack who should be kept away from a camera

[5/10 · 28 June 2015]

Sure, the action scenes are fun. Let's get that out of the way, because that's pretty much everything that is right about this movie.

Certain people did one or two things right. George Lucas, for example. Steven Spielberg is another. But every single piece of cinema he has done after, say, Jaws, or Indiana Jones, is simply terrible.

Take this movie. Jurassic Park had a certain charm, but once you get past the couple of minutes of CGI, you notice how terrible the movie is. Bad acting, bad plot, terrible acting, ham-fisted approach to storytelling, horrible acting, you name it.

All of this - and more - is in this movie. It's basically a remake of Jurassic Park - it's the exact same premise, with mostly the same characters. Can Spielberg think of anything else other than child geniuses? The story is laughable - you get this feeling that the characters need to do something, fast, and they stop and try to drive the story... slooooowly. The ham-fisted approach is there - characters won't only tell you what is going on, but what exactly is going to happen.

The whole movie feels like a mega-million dollar school project.

Once, I thought Spielberg was an amazing presence in the movie business. But that was 30 years ago. Right now, I can't imagine why people flock to watch his movies. Perhaps because the alternatives are even worse.

Save your time, watch it on video. Better yet, avoid.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1 (2014)

After a surprising Part I and II, we get The Bore Games

[3/10 · 14 June 2015]

Most people have already said what is wrong with this movie. But I'll just add - NOTHING happens during the movie. Nothing. I was expecting SOMETHING, anything - all I got was hesitation and doubt from every single character.

That, and the fact that the main character (Katniss) looked scared 100% of the time. She had a single facial expression: OMG. No smiles, no strength, no nothing. For a movie that is supposed to set her up as a hero, this is a disaster. All I could think of what "JEEZ, I get it! You are troubled! MOVE ON!!!".

Terrible. Should have listened to my friends, who said just to skip this one and read the books.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)

Stunningly bad

[3/10 · 30 August 2014]

I can't believe Disney tried to do a movie like this.

Attempted rape. Murders. Sexual overtones everywhere. A story far too complex and mature for kids filled with talking gargoyles and "funny" characters. It's too boring and scary for kids, and too dumb for adults. What's

But worst of all - the fact that the whole story is acceptance, and the fact that beauty is found within - and yet Esmeralda falls in love with the beautiful stranger, completely ignoring the main character of the film - because he's deformed.

So, I guess the lesson here is - you can be a hero and have a heart of gold, but unless you are handsome and cool, it really doesn't matter.

Easily, the worst Disney animated movie ever made.