bigswede1295 Reviews

2012 (I) (2009)

James Cameron had better make sure he brings his A game!

[7/10 · 16 November 2009]

Dear Mr. Cameron,

Mr Emmerich just raised the bar on what special-effects look like in terms of "reality", and by doing so has issued your AVATAR a direct challenge. My question is, can your film meet this challenge?

OK, it ain't a great movie. Does that really surprise you? Roland Emmerich's such non-classics as GODZILLA, INDEPENDENCE DAY, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, and the utterly turd-tastic 10,000 BC.

But, a lot of us bought tickets, so he got another chance ...

And this time, he hits a solid home run (though it may be an inside-the-park home run). Roland throws all he has learned about massive, earth-destroying special effects on the big screen and a large chunk of it sticks. There are several bravura sequences in this huge, HUGE film. Since the film is short on any real plot, and the acting does not go much further than the talented Chiwetel Ejiofor saying "oh my god" ominously (though, the humor brought by Oliver Platt, Woody Harrleson, and John Cusak is greatly appreciated). And let's face it, you didn't buy this ticket to see any acting ... if you did, you made a big blunder.

And finally, two other nice touches ... and here is my SPOILER (telling you what you WON'T see in this flick) ...

---------------------------- SPOILERS ---------------------------------- ---------------------------- SPOILERS ----------------------------------

1- You will NOT see any leftist "we-killed-the-earth" discussion here ... the cause of the problem is identified and, rather than pointing fingers (which is what we do in real life), these characters simply take action.

2- Citizens of NYC, you are spared. That's right, this may be the first film in many, MANY disaster films that does not show the destruction of The Big Apple. Mr. Emmerich actually shows filmmakers that there are other iconic monuments around the world that one can crush with massive special effects.

So, go see the film for what it is ... a really big, technically excellent ride of a film. If you want to see acting, buy a ticket for AN EDUCATION instead.

American Psycho II: All American Girl (2002 Video)

2 Stars for Mila's cleavage

[2/10 · 24 July 2007]

My headline says it all ... the only reason to see the film is Mila Kunis' cleavage. Those hoping for a film even near the original in quality are going to be sorely saddened. So, I'm not going to spend more time on this film. And, you can probably get screen caps of her "cleavage scene" on the web for free, so stay away from this and save your money/time. My headline says it all ... the only reason to see the film is Mila Kunis' cleavage.My headline says it all ... the only reason to see the film is Mila Kunis' cleavage. My headline says it all ... the only reason to see the film is Mila Kunis' cleavage. My headline says it all ... the only reason to see the film is Mila Kunis' cleavage. Sorry for the repeats. 'Nuff said.

Training Day (2001)

possible SPOILER-SPOILER-SPOILER

[7/10 · 17 October 2001]

Here's the deal. This movie SHOULD really get a 6 out of 10 from me (I gave it a seven). The problem? The script. The script is pretty good, but it has two major problems. The films these-types-of-cases-can't-go-to-court-type ending really cheapens the rest of the film. And then there is the vice that really gets Denzel Washington's character in trouble ... it just does not jive. Like Snoop Dogg smelling the scent of rookie cop on Ethan Hawke, Mr. Washington's vice smells of plot device (as opposed to character). Now, sure, lot's of films make this mistake but what makes it so grating here is that the film would have been really good without it. You see, Mr. Washington's character simply is too smart for this vice to be a character flaw. It just does not work, and with the easy out ending, it cheapens the whole effect of Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke, and Anton Fuqua's work. A six out of ten knocked up to a barely passable 7 simply because I know that it is the script that betrays everyone else who worked on this film.

Rudy (1993)

Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!

[9/10 · 3 April 2001]

Naturally assumes its rightful place among the great sports films of our time. It can easily go punch for punch and hit for hit with ROCKY, THE NATURAL, or FIELD OF DREAMS. It is the classic story of the underdog beating all of the odds to succeed on his own terms. Sean Astin doesn't perform Rudy, he simply is Rudy, and on his shoulders we are carried along on a great ride (and on a second viewing, for fun, try to spot SWINGERS buddies Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau). A great sports movie, a great family movie, a great movie. Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!

The Job (2001–2002)

Not Supposed To Happen!

[10/10 · 2 April 2001]

This type of show is not supposed to happen on television. This is the type of edginess usually reserved for independent film. This is what only HBO is supposed to do. Fact is that Denis Leary has managed to come up with one of the best television shows ever, easily joining the ranks of THE SOPRANOS, OZ, ED etc.. Kudos the gang at ABC for showing that NYPD Blue was not a fluke, and to Mr. Leary and his gang for creating a truly unique viewing experience. My only complaint is that the show is not long enough ... an hour would make it better, but I can't wait for the next episode!

Lonesome Dove (1989)

TV History In The Making

[10/10 · 2 April 2001]

Shows that sometimes that work done for the small screen sometimes surpasses that which is done for the big screen. It also shows that a well written script, with well thought out characters and an intelligent plot can draw even the biggest of movie stars to the small screen. This little tv western not only sports two Academy Award winners, but also Danny Glover, Steve Buscemi, Chris Cooper, and Angelica Houston. Add in Tommy Lee Jones and Robert Duvall, plus words by Larry McMurtry and you have something special. That something special is called "Lonesome Dove". Required viewing for all!

Memento (2000)

Wow!

[10/10 · 21 March 2001]

This film should put Guy Pearce back on track ... he is astonishing here. There is not a single flaw with this amazing little film. True, the concept is a bit of a gimmick, but it is so well executed by the creators that it does not feel gimmicky the way most movies do. There is a sustained eerie feeling throughout as you never know exactly how long it has been since the central crime was committed (and there is a great reason for this). And Carrie-Ann Moss proves that a woman need not show everything in order to be completely and utterly enticing in a film. Kudos to all involved.

That Thing You Do! (1996)

Infectious

[9/10 · 28 January 2001]

There is something inherently infectious about movies, theater, and television that we see where we can tell that the cast is just having a great time. From CATS to SEX AND THE CITY, this shows. So, what do we get in THAT THING YOU DO? Well, it's slight, light, breezy and proud of it. Tom Hanks and his casting director have managed to find and draw surprisingly fun and energetic performances out of Steve Zahn, Ethan Embry, Liv Tyler, Rita Wilson, Tom Everett Scott, and Jonathan Schaech (sp? - burdened with playing the requiste moody and serious artiste')and out of Mr. Hanks himself. The supporting cast is great also. Light, breezy, smiling, bouncy, and energetic.

Another Pair of Aces: Three of a Kind (1991 TV Movie)

Aces Indeed!

[8/10 · 28 January 2001]

Maybe there is some kind of comfort in seeing two actors take their age in stride. Seeing Kris Kristofferson and the living legend Willie Nelson do this good a job in what is basically a made-for-cable (complete with Zalman King stalwart Joan Severance) film just brings a fat smile to my face. Kudos also to director Bill Bixby. Is this worth seeing? Definitely!!!

Boys and Girls (2000)

Boys + Girls Apparently Equals CRAP!

[3/10 · 29 December 2000]

Pure drivel. Who would ever think that putting two mildly interesting lead actors and one hot leading lady in a movie would equal this piece of bull? There is no doubt in my mind that Freddie Prinze Jr. can act a little when given material to work from. Claire Forlani is in the same category. Jason Biggs proved in American Pie that he can really deliver when the material is there (and he is probably the only one who comes out unscathed from this debacle). One thing struck me as funny while watching this junk ... Freddie and Claire are seen walking in to (what I presume to be a double feature) showing of SIXTEEN CANDLES and THE BREAKFAST CLUB. While all three movies mine some of the same material, this film, BOYS AND GIRLS, is nowhere near the league of intelligent and funny films such as SIXTEEN CANDLES and THE BREAKFAST CLUB. One reviewer called this a WHEN HARRY MET SALLY for teens... that person must have seen another movie.

Unbreakable (2000)

Excellent

[10/10 · 27 December 2000]

This film is easily one of the ten best of the year. A genre movie that unfurls in unique yet unforced ways. Quite simply --- a standout! Be patient and you shall be rewarded!!! A 10!!! M Night Shyamalan and Bruce Willis team up with the (almost always) underrated Robin Wright Penn and Sam Jackson to create a nuanced film that leaves one yearning for more (in a good, satisfying way).

The Muse (1999)

In Need of a Muse

[1/10 · 17 December 2000]

Albert Brooks should have let life imitate art and hired himself a muse before deciding to torture us with this crap. A great cast (including the usually much, much funnier Mr. Brooks)and a solid concept are wasted here. All of those directors (Reiner, Scorsese, Cameron) must have owed Brooks huge favors ... there is no other way that they would have agreed to cameos here. The reviewer who called on us to take a vomit bag was very right indeed.

Simply Irresistible (1999)

Faulty Advertising

[1/10 · 17 December 2000]

This film is anything but irresistible (hence the faulty advertising). Ms. Gellar is just fine and so is the token cute guy, but this movie works soooooo hard at being cute that it just hurts. That plus the fact that the 'magical' segments could have been better done by kids putting on a third-grade play. If you really want to watch Ms. Gellar, turn on BUFFY on tv, or rent one of the SCREAM movies.

Felicia's Journey (1999)

Creepy

[8/10 · 11 December 2000]

May contain SPOILER--SPOILER--SPOILER

Somebody has said that the cinema of Atom Egoyan is akin to being underwater. That through Mr. Egoyan's eyes, the world is presented as surreal. It is interesting to note that in this genuinely creepy thriller nothing much happens in terms of violence. Here, once the first shot of the film is up on screen, you can feel Mr. Egoyan putting the screws to you. YOU know SOMETHING will happen, but Egoyan does not take the easy and rather tried-and-true way out. It is also interesting to note that this is a thriller in which hardly any of the shots are dark - Mr. Egoyan choosing to go against the grain and paint the film with color instead. This is something different and challenging!

Chicken Run (2000)

A Glowing, Shining, Golden Egg of a Movie!!!!!

[10/10 · 25 June 2000]

Every once in a while a movie comes along and changes the perception of what movies can do. I NEVER thought that a feature-length claymation movie about chickens would work as well as it does here. Laughter composed of little children and adults punctuated this movie's soundtrack throughout the screening I went to. This movie is one of those few ones that seems to be written for both children and adults (like a TOY STORY) and boy does it work! And the nice "thank you's" to earlier films such as RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and THE GREAT ESCAPE were extremely welcome.

Battlefield Earth (2000)

The Postman Rides Again!!!

[1/10 · 13 May 2000]

How lucky are we that over-indulged, pampered stars get to create pieces of sh-t like this!!! Heay - Scientologists, on what page in DIANETICS is the answer to why we have to make sh--ty movies such as this? The review that says that nothing original originated with this movie is SOOOOO on the money. Roger Christian and John Travolta should thank Kevin Costner, Ridley Scott, numerous other Hollywood denizens past and present - and the architects of the Javits Convention center in NYC for doing ALL of the thinking for them. I had a hard time giving even ONE star to this hunk o' junk!!!

Romeo Must Die (2000)

Delivers as Promised

[9/10 · 22 March 2000]

One of the few movies out there that delivers exactly what it promises. A hearty thank you to Joel Silver, Richard Donner, Danny Glover, Mel Gibson and the rest of the Lethal Weapon gang for introducing us to Jet Li. And thank you to Mr. Li for delivering more than expected in this film. Aside from the thin plot, exciting eye candy from start to finish. Thank you.

Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999)

More Than Expected

[8/10 · 19 March 2000]

I did not really expect to like this film. But I ended up walking out of the theater with a smile creeping across my lips. This was a funny, violent interpretation of the numerous samurai movies out there, and it came off very well. And I have to say thank you to Mr. Jarmusch, Mr. Muller, and Mr. Whitaiker for making Jersey City (clearly NOT New York City) look so 'nice' on screen. Get the ticket, some popcorn, sit back, relax, and enjoy.

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)

Wish the mob hit the makers of this film!!!!!

[1/10 · 20 February 2000]

I cringed in my seat when I saw that the last name of one of the producers on this hunk o' junk was WILLIS, and his first name was NOT BRUCE. I knew I was in deep trouble when Rosanna Arquette and Kevin Pollak started talking. Obviously Michael Clarke Duncan, perfect in ARMAGEDDON (opposite Bruce Willis) and excellent in THE GREEN MILE (a part that Bruce Willis recommended him for) must have signed on to this p.o.s (the editors won't let me spell it out but you get it) out of some sort of obligation to the Willis family. And, oh yes, any film that relies on Mathew Perry running into glass doors for laughs should have a contract put on it before the film gets released on the public. And if this is the kind of product that we can see from Hollywood jobs going to Canada, then the book business will be reaching new heights very, VERY soon.

Limbo (I) (1999)

One of the best of the year ...

[8/10 · 5 December 1999]

David Straithairn and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio should be recognized come awards season. As should writer-producer-director John Sayles. And will they? Of course not. All the elements are here ... strong acting by two skillful thespians (Straithairn and Mastrantonio, not to mention Kris Kristofferson), along with strong direction from Mr. Sayles. But this movie does not have a huge budget, a big name cast, nor a big name director and so it will get little if any attention at all from the Academy's voting members(see what happened to LONE STAR if you don't believe me). At the surface this seems like a simple movie, but once you understand that this movie is about people just like you and me, trying to deal with issues and situations like ours, you realize that THIS is all the complexity the movie should need. And it works. Yes, Mr. Sayles' script takes a little while to get started, but allow yourself the time to wallow in it as he does, and you will see this film for the gem that it is.

A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999)

Needing of the hand of Kenneth Branagh

[5/10 · 5 December 1999]

This is a gallant attempt at staging one of William Shakespeare's most famous works. But ultimately it fails. It has everything going for it, almost. The casting here is all A-list. Names such as Kevin Kline (who steals the show), David Straithairn, Michelle Pfeiffer, Sophie Marceau (the latest Bond babe), Calista Flockhart, Christian Bale, Rupert Everett, and Stanley Tucci light up your screens. But what is really lacking here is the director's touch. Michael Hoffman is not Kenneth Branagh, and those who expect this film to live up to Mr. Branagh's MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING will be severely disappointed. While Mr. Branagh also assembled a motley crew of decidedly un-Shakespearean actors (Denzel Washington, Michael Keaton, Keanu Reeves), he managed to direct them in such a manner that they at least seem to have fun, and in such a way that the Bard's lines merely drip off of their tongues (okay, maybe not with Mr. Reeves). Mr. Hoffman's cast, with the exception of Mr. Kline and Mr. Tucci, seem to work too hard to have fun doing all of what is required of them, and this cripples the work. Also, one can tell that most of the forest scenes are shot on a soundstage, and when some are shot on location, this combination ultimately leaves a bad after taste and the audience with the ultimate question of "why?"

Hamlet (1996)

Pure Cinematic Joy

[10/10 · 5 December 1999]

The best thing about this movie? Mr. Branagh realizes that there is absolutely no reason to tamper with the text. Simply let the cast revel in the marvelous words, as penned by William Shakespeare. And the strictly A-list cast assembled by Mr. Branagh do nothing short of revel in the language that the Bard penned for them. As for the direction, Mr. Branagh's interpretation is a happy disjuncture from Laurence Olivier's earlier vision, and it throws just enough of a hat to Ian McKellan's RICHARD III to work. This film is a creature of utter joy, love, and a watermark in cinematic achievement.