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jtuss
Reviews
Dog Soldiers (2002)
I don't get it...
Went down to my local video store last night and picked up "Dog Soldiers" on DVD. I hadn't heard much about it except when it got Movie of the Day here on IMDb and I read the subsequent reviews--most of which were very good. After finishing it I DO think it had a chance of being excellent--the dialogue was generally good and the characters did have some semblance of a personality. The gore scenes were also effectively used (except for the cheesy "rolling head" in the barn). The movie did suffer, however, from several critical flaws that were instrumental in maintaining the believability of the story...
"SPOILERS"
1. The car. Werewolves are smart enough to destroy the car after the soldiers board themselves in the farmhouse. O.k. I can get that, but later on, after SEVERAL attacks and several hours of wondering what to do, the woman kindly mentions she has another car in the barn right next door???? Thanks for mentioning that sooner!!?!...Their "plan" to get the car is to drop someone out of the second floor window to run around with a flare while another guy gets the car and pulls it up to the farm. All of a sudden the werewolves get REALLY SLOW and the guy is able to outrun them and climb back up the rope(?!) with one of them right on this A** the whole time. Anyways, apparently the 'plan' had some flaws in it since the werewolves are also right outside the door with the car (what did they expect) so when they open it to get to the car several of them are killed and the door is slammed shut again. End of plan. Oh, the werewolves are apparently not smart enough to destroy this second car as it sits outside for a bit (No don't give me the "they were luring them back out bit either).
2. The werewolves themselves. I thought they looked pretty stupid...they're heads were waaaay to big and looked cartoonish--NOT scary at all. Plus, they seem to be very limber and smart at certain times, and very slow and stupid at others. After attacking the house for a bit they seem to always decide to quit for a while to keep the plot rolling along--even though they probably could have finished them off in one attack since bullets only seem to annoy them. They can tear a metal car to shreds in seconds, run very very fast, take massive amounts of ammo to the face, and yet still can't seem to manage breaking down a wood door. They also seem to get really perturbed when you throw glasses, pots, pans, and fisticuffs at them. Or when you block them out with some empty suitcases. Never mind the ammo and grenades fellas...
3. The soldiers attitudes towards the werewolves. After they have been attacked for a good few hours (and had the werewolves RIGHT IN THEIR FACES at the doors and windows) they still act like the idea that they could be something other than human seems ridiculous to them. We get the standard "Cmon, there's nothing supernatural going on here they're probably just escaped lunatics..." Never mind the fact that they have been plugging these "lunatics" chock FULL of machine gun rounds AT CLOSE RANGE for almost two hours now and they look suspiciously like bobble head wolves.
4. the "special ops" guy. He sits there, tied up, annoying the HELL out of the soldiers with his pessimistic comments over and over, but NO ONE thinks to gag him or take him out of the room? They just get madder and madder....and madder...and madder...etc..etc...
5. The woman mentioning that "wolves are pack animals and that they'll probably want to go somewhere warm like the barn--and go ALL TOGETHER." HUH? There's some logic for you...Meanwhile the soldiers explode the car (which the werewolves forgot to tear up a second time) precisely because they bought this line of reasoning. They reply to her, "Huh. You must be right. They ARE pack animals, so they MUST be in the barn." Okaaay...
Overall, the movie had real potential, but you just CAN'T be successful when you ask the audience to accept ludicrous gaps in plausibility and character motivation. Yeah, I know, its a 'werewolf' movie and thus not meant to be realistic, but in order to have the audience "feel" like they're there you have to have the characters behave in a somewhat believable way. Dog Soldiers was ultimately trapped by the "Hey, lets split up and wander off alone" syndrome that all too many horror films fall victim to... 4/10 stars
Salem's Lot (1979)
Very Scary
I was five when I first made Mr. Barlow's aquaintance on T.V. in '79 and I can say this movie was hands down the most frightening film of my childhood. Upon viewing Salem's Lot recently, I find it somewhat dated and annoying how some scenes are obviously meant to lead up to a commercial. However these are minor complaints compared to several truly horrifying scenes i.e. vampires at the window, "loook at me teacher..." and Mr. Barlow's first appearance. To this day I can still say this is one of the scariest films I have ever seen.
American Job (1996)
Somewhat interesting...
I caught this film on the independent film channel and found myself immersed in this man's life as he wanders from one dead-end job to another in contemporary America. It is understandable that this is not a movie for everyone as it could be considered slow and tedious, however I think this movie shows that everyone has a story. Everyone's journey through life is not always like Indiana Jones or James Bond. Here we get life...plain and simple with all it's harsh realities.This is obviously not an escapist film but worth watching if you can find it.
Deathstalker (1983)
Ouch...
After reading Sam's At-a-glance I became interested in seeing this movie while reading along with the review that I printed out. This movie is absolute crrrraaaaaappppp!!! Laughably bad filming, plot(really none at all), acting, whatever...You name any necessary ingredient besides a camera for a movie and this one ain't got it. Worth a rent to read Sam's review of a scene before watching that scene in the movie, but other than that...don't do it...don't even THINK about it...