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tummybunny
Reviews
Obvious Child (2014)
'I just hate that type of film. I don't connect to it.'
Near the end of this Donna reveals that she doesn't like romantic comedies, a fact that will surprise nobody who has just observed a first date effort that included peeing in the street and boasting that she can 'mouth f*** the s*** out of a burrito'. She doesn't exactly step up later either and her budding relationship somehow survives farting, diarrhea references and actual stepping in s***. Nothing romantic happens between them really, except perhaps sex and that swiftly leads to disaster as you're probably aware.
The film has one rom-com tradition though in that, despite minimal effort on Donnas part that descends into brushing him off twice ('Sorry these boxes need packing'), nice guy Ryan chases her like the last tennis ball at puppy school. Ryan has not a few things going for him so if, after reading about her behavior you're confused why that might be the case I can only say you're not alone. Donna is quirky, which means she has two careers going nowhere, makes (usually dirty) jokes about everything and lives to find unflattering topics that could be categorized as way TMI and then do everything but host telethons about them. The movie opens with an observation about women and cream cheese that will send most men in the audience (and her initial partner) running for therapy and praying they can one day have sex again, and they might be the lucky ones.
There's no romance, plenty of dubious scatological humor, and of course the controversial drama part too. Given that the slightest mention of that inspires lengthy 1 star diatribes I'll say only that it's dealt with matter of factly after a couple of nice chats, neither of which involve Ryan. You can't help but feel that his stepping in s*** incident may be allegorical but he's so nice he doesn't seem to mind it, or anything really. Whoever wrote this is not particularly interested in nice guy Ryan. They are extremely interested in (and probably are a) witty, earthy, frustratingly awkward young women in a big city so your enjoyment of this will probably reflect your enthusiasm for them.
Quid Pro Quo (2008)
Feeling trapped in your chair
This had positive reviews but i've run marathons that passed faster. I watched it with a friend and half way through felt compelled to stop it and apologise, which I've never done before. I eventually finished it but remain baffled by what anyone could think this movie has going for it.
As mentioned elsewhere, the main theme here is able bodied people who want to become paralysed, or paraplegic. So if that's the single most mind blowing and fascinating concept you've ever heard of, then you probably still shouldn't bother watching this because it's not like they explain it. The characters dawdle along through tedious lives and pointless, boring conversations. None of the dialogue or actions are interesting or engaging at all. Occasionally things get a little animated, but it's usually difficult to understand why and always completely impossible to care in the slightest.
Eventually I'm pretty sure nothing happens at the end but even though I just finished a couple of hours ago I can't remember much other than feeling very grateful.
Morvern Callar (2002)
wretched
The only reason to watch this is to try to figure out how on earth anyone could give it a good review.
Absolutely unbearable from the long, long, long silence at the start that tries hard to outdo 2001 in the 'surely something will happen soon' stakes to about the forty fifth minute, which was all I could endure.
The characters are unsympathetic, inarticulate and shallow and their actions mostly seem to be composed from outtakes of The Real Cancun and Shallow Grave.
There is some mild nudity and a dull sex scene that I noticed if you're desperate for something along those lines at least.
Also my (region 4) DVD had no subtitles.
Meet Joe Black (1998)
A nice picture
This movie has an awful lot going for it. It's theme can be summed up by one of the old Jamaican womans lines, We lonely here mostly too. If we lucky, we got some nice pictures to take with us.' Well this is a nice picture.
Claire Forlani is just achingly vulnerable as she (understandably) struggles to comprehend what is happening to her life. The scenes where she and Brad are talking, or almost gently dancing, inches apart as they oh so politely marvel at each other are foreplay at its finest, to be frank. The movie revels in the slow burn. What happens is often much less important than the way it does. Some of the plotting and characters can seem a little simplistic or one dimensional but after paying attention there is usually a little more going on that might appear. (Allison: I should have my head examined again.'). There are also some really funny and bizarre moments in huge contrast to the popular slow and ponderous' impressions of it. Early on Allison sees fir to introduce herself to her own sister? And later their father (Anthony Hopkins) is reminiscing about when they were both little girls and out of nowhere Quince chips in with I love little girls.'. Or Brad to Anthony, Calm down Bill. You'll give yourself a heart attack and ruin my vacation .' And later on Bill, who has been very clearly set up as having almost everything a man could want, is reciting a list of all the things that in fact suck about his life and it finishes with, And oh yes! I almost forgot. My daughters fallen in love with death.' It's hard to accuse this of getting too serious really.
Everything is nothing without love' is a huge theme of the movie, and there are some great lines and moments as they make their point.
Be sorry for nothing.
Thank you for loving me. (ahhh!)
and
Bill: It's hard to let go, isn't it? Joe Black: Yes it is, Bill. Bill: What can I tell you. That's life.
Watch this and let yourself go with it. This is a nice picture.
Unmade Beds (1997)
Scariest movie ever
This has just taken over from the Blair Witch Project as the most terrifying movie i've ever seen. And just like it, you come away thinking, 'Could it be real?'.
My answer? Surely not. Such pure dating horror couldn't exist in the world I live in. That's what I keep saying to myself anyway, and it helps me get to sleep most nights.
Four NY singles come across as some of the most unrelentingly relationship-resistant types to ever appear on screen. Their dances with romances seem forever doomed and watching them crash and burn through a few apparently real months in their lives will strike terror into the hearts of singles of any age. Is it a comedy? A satire? All I can say for sure is that it's surely one of the worst ever first date films I can conceive of.
Compelling viewing for the rest of us though.
Untamed Heart (1993)
An enchanting romance.
In this Marisa Tomei gives one of the most endearingly sweet performances you'll ever see. You'd have to have a heart of stone not to want the best for her and Christian Slater in this, the latter playing a mile outside his usual range. I'd love to see it on DVD one day.
If you liked this I'd also recommend checking out:
The Very Thought of You, The Winter Guest and Mr Hire (french).