dargento Reviews

The Island of the Fishmen (1979)

Martino's minced Fishmen

[25 January 2006]

I saw this film in a movie theater in Rochester, NY sometime in the mid 80s. I was fascinated by the tag line "You will see a man turned inside-out!" What I saw on the screen really didn't impress me too much, but, considering 15 minutes had been hacked out of it, I'm not surprised at how bad the finished product was.

In the years since then I've learned more and more about European filmmakers such as Martino, Argento, Fulci, Franco and others. In fact, I now have several Martino dvds and have been impressed by his talent. I hope to get my hands on a version of this movie that is truer to the director's vision. I'm sure it couldn't be too much worse than what I saw lo those many years ago.

Teenage Alien Avengers (1999 TV Movie)

Tepid teen SF revenge fantasy

[1 July 2000]

A typical teen powertrip fantasy where nerdy highschooler and his tomboy friend stumble upon alien weaponry in the school basement. They go about dispensing temperate justice for wrongs committed by the school jocks and preppies. Meanwhile, aliens, disguised as students, try to reclaim the armor and zapguns. In order to approximate cutting-edge filmmaking, the camera slowly rocks from side to side. I'm surprised i didn't vomit from seasickness! Standard stuff from Full Moon pictures. Danielle Hoover as Baxter the tomboy is about the only character with her head on straight and is the only shining light in this tepid little tale.

The All New Adventures of Laurel & Hardy in 'for Love or Mummy' (1999)

"Ernest" director unleashes another stinker

[11 June 2000]

John Cherry, director of the Jim Varney "Ernest" movies and Larry "Bozo" Harman team up to unleash this 80 minute, unfunny monstrosity. Stan and Ollie in this flick are the nephews of the originals and have inherited none of their namesakes' talent. F. Murray Abraham slums as an Egyptologist and co-director, co-producer Harman not only works in references to his clown creation, but makes a cameo. Expect more of these from Cherry now that he can no longer direct the deceased Varney in any more Ernest movies. Or will he get Ernest's "nephew" to continue the series?