Change Your Image
nivek_nailgun
Reviews
The Departed (2006)
compared to Goodfellas
After hearing that it surpassed Goodfellas and the great reviews everyone had been telling me about, I went out and bought the special edition DVD without even watching it. Not the first time I'd done that and made a mistake and apparently not the last. I swear I'll never do it again. This movie is good, compared to other movies made nowadays. But, comparing it to fantastic movies of the 80's and early 90's is like comparing an alley cat to a jaguar. This movie was nothing special! Yes, the acting is solid, and that was a relief, but beyond that there was nothing in depth or fantastic about the story. It's all been done better before and the violence just seemed gratuitous, rather than well placed. I'm in the dark why anyone is raving about this movie. Watch Goodfellas or Casino for true character development and a story that actually holds your interest and hasn't already been done a thousand times.
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005)
I'm not sure how I feel...
***SPOILERS***
The best of the prequels has arrived; and it's not RotS. AotC delivered and RotS followed through although not as strongly. I'd read so much about the 'poor lines and acting' and didn't swallow it because we'd heard all this before about the original trilogy. But after seeing the supposed 'stellar' performance of McDiarmid, I'm not so sure. Yes, he did well but then certain lines came across as very poorly delivered and/or badly written (Ewan McGregor is my personal pick for best acting of the films). The scene where Vader gets his armor should have been a classic knockout but was completely destroyed with the Frankensteinesque performance and far-too-human line delivery when he rises. I won't even mention the 'Noooooo!' bit...I'm speechless and I chuckled where a chuckle doesn't belong. In all honesty, the acting was the worst in this film than in the previous two. That being said, it's pretty exciting and visually stunning. The sound effects are second to none and you couldn't ask for more action than you get. It's also interesting to see Anakin's final descent to the Sith and how everything ends up on stage for IV, but again problems plague the movie there also. Leia talks about her memories of her mother in Ep VI, but we see that her mother dies in childbirth! And what is with Organa erasing 3PO's memory? Aside from it being a 'filler' of an excuse for the original trilogy, I don't understand why it was so? Further, why erase 3PO's but not R2s?! I guess part of the problem was that there was no anticipation; no buildup as one other reviewer mentioned (such as RotJ's Death Star attack or the first Vader/Luke showdown in ESB). Being that I am old enough to have seen the originals all in the theater, I guess the entire business of prequels was best left to the imagination although I don't outright 'hate' that Lucas made these movies. I'm not sure how I feel.
The Matrix Reloaded (2003)
You couldn't pay me to sit through this one again....
This sequel was so horrible that I'll likely not waste my time on the third. I actually found myself looking at my watch wishing for a fire in the theatre so I'd have an excuse to leave and not come back. (sidebar: for those critical of my position wondering why I didn't leave in the first place, I'm the type that unless a fire did in fact break out, I'd have to stay just in case it, by some miracle, got better). The fight scenes were too long and just rehashes of the first movie, the philosophy was dull and somewhat outdated (and had no place in a movie such as this..sci fi action with metaphysical meandering...what were they thinking??) and to end a movie in such a way that it can't stand on its own is just plain pathetic. This was probably the biggest disappointment I've ever had at a theater. 3/10
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
Once again proving that John Singleton is a 1-hit wonder...
If it weren't for Boyz N Tha Hood, Singleton would be unheard of. I'm pretty certain the name has gone to his head. I'd read a week ago where he seems to be of the opinion that he was going to literally change the face of streetcars with everyone wanting to follow the styles in this movie. While I can't speak for anyone else, I can for myself and that is; if I won any of the cars in a contest, I'd have them stripped of their paint and resprayed right away. They were godawful. Now, onto the movie itself. The story was silly, the acting about as good as the first (take that how you want to), the dialogue horrible, and the cinematography was not as exciting, fulfilling or flawless as the first. **SPOILER** The best black mark against the shooting of it was the scene where they race into a compound and the Lancer breaks through the steel barrier. It's bad enough to imagine this happening and the result being no front end damage, but when the scene isn't cut quick enough and you actually SEE the vehicle get damaged, only to see the damage wiped away next shot is unforgivable. Ludicrous as an actor? Please. Having a rap star act is as bad as having an actor rap. Tell me he wasn't hired due to supposed 'star power' only. Don't go to this movie, even if you are a fan of cars (which I am).
Head of State (2003)
More of the usual 'Rock' tripe.
The only reason I fooled myself into thinking that this one might be ok is because of Bernie Mac. That's IT. And it wasn't worth it in the end. What did we get? An extremely predictable plotline, a few giggles here and there, and the usual racial stereotypes that would send a white person to the gallows if it came out of their mouth (rather than Rock's). Don't waste your cash on this squid.
One Hour Photo (2002)
better than expected
I was pretty hesitant about renting this, the whole premise seemed so goofy to me. Turned out to be well worth the money and I especially recommend it to cinematography buffs, the filming is beautiful...I don't think I've been enchanted by colors in a movie quite so much as I was here. Also Robin Williams does a great job as the perceived 'psycho'. Also, it ends in such a way that you certainly have not come to expect from Hollywood. Very refreshing.
Batman & Robin (1997)
further proof that sparkle ain't got it all
I've always said that if a story is great in a movie, it can stand on its own without high budget actors and special effects..but reverse that order and forget it. This movie proves just that. Filled with fancy big dollar special effects and big name actors out the wazoo, this is a total bomb. Recommended for young kids only.
Captive (1986)
for DiD'ers only
A lot of people hated this movie but I guarantee it's got a fanbase out there, here's why: It's made for the Damsels in Distress fans. Those who are into bdsm and the like. For most of the movie it's got the kidnapee tied up and the abuse is related to various sexual themes. For fans of that genre only.
Joe Somebody (2001)
not all that funny
This wasn't awful but yet just barely entertaining. The sequences with Belushi were about the best. I'm glad to see a decent 'moral of the story' movie pop up but it's too bad it was wasted here. Something was missing although I'm not sure exactly what... Sidebar: A definite negative in the movie was a comment by a black woman to a white one,'White girls can't dance'. Look,how much longer do we have to sit through this racial garbage? If the comment was made 'Black girls can't read' by a white one,I can just imagine the explosion that would go off. I certainly don't condone racism in ANY direction,so why is it a free for all on whites,orientals,mexicans and middle easterners? 5/10
American Pimp (1999)
unsure how unbiased I'll be here but here we go...
I could only sit through about fifteen minutes of this and here's why: It seemed to me (although correct me if I'm wrong please) that they were showing black pimps only. The box cover gives such an impression also. Are we supposed to believe that being a pimp is cool or something to look up to? These people are gutter filth who live and prey off of others. I don't rate them much higher than child pornographers. I couldn't help but get the feeling that they were aiming to make it seem to be a 'cool' part of black culture. Weird what people look up to nowadays. I've only one question to anyone who thinks in this way: How cool would it be if it was your mother being whored out? All this aside I was drawn to watch the film because I thought we'd get a look at this particular section of life's underbelly. The 'cool' factor was overwhelming me to the point of annoyance and unrealism so I had to switch the channel. From what I saw....not recommended.
Daredevil (2003)
Beat the pants off Spiderman
Yea,I'm sure that comment above will get me trailed and stoned but what can I say? I think part of what helped is that it wasn't hyped as much as Spidey. Not that Spiderman was all that bad,it just wasn't all that great. Daredevil was much more entertaining to me. The acting was suprisingly solid,costumes weren't too awful flashy,and the storyline stayed pretty true to character (for those of us that do care about that sort of thing). Complaint: SPOILER...If I have to complain about anything,the fight scene in the park with Elektra was way goofy. The fact that she only got suspicious about Matt when he sidesteps a puddle AFTER the amazing fight she just had with a BLIND GUY in the park seemed too far fetched and an insult to her intelligence..not to mention the viewers'. Overall definitely worth a viewing. Better than Spidey but still not as good as XMen. 8/10
Star Trek: Nemesis (2002)
Solid 7
Nothing to be embarassed about here. The Next Gen crew finished in a good solid movie with a decent plot but its nowhere near as good as First Contact. The Next Generation cast didn't have nearly as good a run as the Original crew though with Insurrection being the worst of them and Generations finishing just barely ahead of that. I read the 'professional' critics reviews and it seemed immature some of the things they were saying such as the effects being outdated,the supposed poor computer generating and pot shots at their uniforms. None of this I understand....the uniforms have to be realistically based on what Starfleet has worn in the past and as for the effects,they seemed as good as any that have been produced. Oh well,can't please everyone all the time. Certainly worth one viewing anyway...
Spider-Man (2002)
too much anticipation
The times I end up enjoying movies most are when they suddenly promote it and the following week it's released. This way,there isn't all the hype and hence anticipation. Let me say that first,I'm a huge comics fan (including Spidey) and I don't at all have a problem with the changes in the basic story arc. Mind you,I prefer Peter inventing his own webshooters but that's a small complaint. The movie simply didn't capture Spiderman. It was too much flash and not enough substance. Yea,it told a story that wasn't paper thin but it didn't communicate it very well. I'm not altogether sure that I'm happy with the takeover of computer animation. I enjoy it to enhance but certainly not to dominate,which is what it did in Spiderman. Oh well,I'm sure there'll be a sequel. I personally would like to see them do Venom. 6/10
Spider-Man (2002)
too much anticipation
The times I end up enjoying movies most are when they suddenly promote it and the following week it's released. This way,there isn't all the hype and hence anticipation. Let me say that first,I'm a huge comics fan (including Spidey) and I don't at all have a problem with the changes in the basic story arc. Mind you,I prefer Peter inventing his own webshooters but that's a small complaint. The movie simply didn't capture Spiderman. It was too much flash and not enough substance. Yea,it told a story that wasn't paper thin but it didn't communicate it very well. I'm not altogether sure that I'm happy with the takeover of computer animation. I enjoy it to enhance but certainly not to dominate,which is what it did in Spiderman. Oh well,I'm sure there'll be a sequel. I personally would like to see them do Venom. 6/10
Blade II (2002)
as good as the first
I didn't think this was any better or worse than the first installment (which is a rarity if you ask me) and I really enjoyed it. Without gushing on and on,I've got to address the lengthy criticism posted below simply because the plot holes weren't quite as bad as the one commenter had thought:
Alleged problems with the plot:
I. The ancient vampire...
1- Yes,he managed to live for centuries and build himself up,but he was certainly not guaranteed eternity and hence what he was searching for. The new breed wasn't to replace him so much as to see his 'kind' become invincible and dominate.
2- Lost control of the Reaper simply because it was experimentation.
3- I'm sure the ancient vampire brought Blade to his home rather than another location simply because he felt safest there.
4- Had the ancient vampire had intermediaries talk with Blade and present the entire plan to him,Blade may well not have gone for the whole idea. In other words,it would seem more genuine coming directly from your mortal enemy than one of his lackeys.
5- The only thing I can say to objection #5 is that the movie is fantasy,so it should be given some leeway here.
6- Again,a film. Had the ancient vampire not shown the enemy (and hence the viewer) the test tube vamps,we would have been left in the dark and the critics would have screamed 'Plot hole!' all the way to the bank.
7- Doesn't kill Blade when he can. Well,that isn't so much a criticism against Blade II as it is action movies in general. This will probably be the case with 98% action movies forever.
8- I'm not sure where else the ancient vampire should have ran off to. I say again,perhaps he felt safer in his lifelong stronghold.
II. The Reaper Virus (aka Zombie Movie hides as Vampire Flick)
1-5- No real complaints here,just how the script went and I personally liked the idea. But opinions will always vary.
6 - The original Reaper takes his own life at the end of the film after being mortally wounded. He merely thrusts the blade further into his heart after feeling the release from his painful existence begin.
III. The lackeys (Other Vampires & Human agents)
1 - Perhaps the Vampire Nation only had a pair of prototype suits...it's never stated otherwise.
2-3- Typical movie action. This is another sin committed by 98% of action movies and not just Blade II.
4 - Willingly follow Blade into the sewers to hunt the Reapers with UV grenades and no way to shield themselves .....BUT it was the best and fastest plan available.
III. Lovestory between Blade and the Vampire Princess
Blade killed his mother in the first movie when he realized she was a complete traitor. He didn't fall for Nyssa's attractiveness so much as her genuine personality. Besides,it's a movie and they just added a small twist to it with the small bit of lovestory.
IV. The Fight Scenes
I liked the fight scenes myself overall but have a bit of a complaint with the computer rendering. Some of it was just too obvious and could have been done better.
I'm not trying to flame here or anything,but I certainly think the movie is worth a viewing and if you're really not going to like it,that's fine...but complaints about 'holes' aren't quite as penetrating as some folks might lead you to believe.
Fight Club (1999)
a ten???
Why so many folks voted a 10 on this movie is beyond me. Even if you liked it....a 10? I thought it deserved a 7.5 or so up until the half point of the movie,then it just got plain stupid. Without giving anything away,I thought it was a pretty cool concept that (all too typically) got carried away during the last half hour. 6/10
Robot Jox (1989)
crap x 1,000000
This is without a doubt one of the worst movies I've seen in my life. My best friend pressured me to rent it simply because he's one of those guys obsessed with 'Mechs' (yes,you guys are still out there....tossing between anime,dungeons and dragons,macintosh computers and mechs). So I rented the thing in the hopes that yea,it might be ok. Well well...it sucks so bad that even HE was laughing his way through it. To summarize....all too typical story,cardboard effects and horrifying acting with a mix of poor stunts *POSSIBLE SPOILER*(everyone see the scene where the chick is sparring and when she does the spin kick they didn't edit well enough hence leaving the MOUSTACHED stuntman doing the kick still on camera in her place?? Hilarious!) I've no clue how stuff like this ever sees film.
Pirates of Silicon Valley (1999)
extremely interesting
I flat out recommend this movie to anyone,whether interested in computers or not. If you don't know anything about how the modern computer movement came about,this is a great film to show just that. Even if you do have a basic knowledge of the two computer giants,I suggset watching it anyway,as there may be a point or two you might have missed. Very entertaining throughout and the story really draws you in and makes you wonder 'What next'? My only complaint is the ending was somewhat sudden but it may have been made this way as it was a TV movie originally. 8/10
Charlie's Angels (2000)
pinnacle of stupid
Another entry into pop culture girl power and yet more mindless trash. I'm only thankful that I didn't pay to see it. Dull,outdated idea rehashed for today with the typical formula of 'invincible women' to appeal to the ladies,and enough skin shots to appeal to prepubescent males who love to oogle Playboy for hours on end. Don't get me wrong;I've nothing against women but this is exploitation at its worst. I think putting them in smart roles (Erin Brokovich) or action roles (Point of No Return) is just fine,but this was far too cheesy and predictable. 2/10
Tron (1982)
great!
Ok my summary was hardly jaw dropping but what else can I say? If you love the 80's,computers or storys that are certainly not so run-of-the-mill,then you must see this movie! I am in no way/shape or form a Disney fan (actually I generally hate Disney movies because of all the musical gak in it) so this is truly a stand alone Disney flick. 9/10
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
I can't believe it....
How on earth this many people voted this movie above a 5 is completely beyond me. Everyone has a right to their opinion but when I pulled up the ratings on this page for this movie,I was shocked (still am). This pointless movie was total trash not worth the film it was made on. I kept begging my wife to leave the theatre with me about three-quarters of the way through but even though she hated it,wanted to hold on just in case it picked up. It didn't. I was really trying to like this film but every time a story arc would begin,it would either end too soon or just lie flat with no real overall point to ANY of the movie. The talent pool is high-priced and while their acting wasn't bad,they can only do so much with a garbage script. A definite black mark on all of their careers. This is one of the worst movies of all time right next to Scary Movie,Brain Smasher,King of the Kickboxers,Blair Witch Project and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. 1/10
The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
better than expected
I wanted to see this;but it certainly wasn't a leg-breaking dash to the theatre either. That being said,I really enjoyed it. I've never read the books as I'm more into factual books and not fantasy,so I didn't go in with the 'error hunter' attitude,looking to pick it apart where it diverted from the novel. There's nothing good that I can say that hasn't already been said so I'll say what I didn't like and why I gave it an 8.
Too long. Both myself and my wife got bored periodically because some of it simply didn't hold our attention. I'm sure all the parts were necessary,but more than two and a half hours is pretty hard to endure with any film.
Grendel (the first old wizard you meet) and his battle with the other wizard (apologies,I can't recall his name at the moment) I thought would have had better effects aside from 'force pushes'. Given the awesome effects in the rest of it,I sort of expected to see perhaps lightning bolts and fireballs,etc. Minor complaints though,when you stack up the good vs these. 8/10
Pootie Tang (2001)
truly,truly deserves a one (less if it were possible)
Ok so it was nowhere near as annoying as Scary Movie or Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back but certainly as stupid and for the mostpart less funny than the former titles. If I ever needed (anymore) evidence of why Chris Rock is a waste of a paycheck,THIS IS IT! I can't believe he's not begging for change and eating garbage after this flop. Here's the rundown: The main guy Pootie Tang,is a crimefighting super-cool martial artist/actor who ends up selling a song that has NO SOUND OR LYRICS. This is somewhat worthy of a chuckle...for maybe five seconds tops (remember I said chuckle,not laugh). When he speaks,he's got entirely his own vocabulary(Words like 'cappatau')but this is about as funny as watching the Teletubbies and having everyone laugh at it because they feel as though they're 'supposed to' because well,it's supposedly cool! After 45 minutes of this tripe,I finally shut it off. I felt somewhat violated after having seen the commercial last summer and was very anxious to see this movie. Couldn't figure out why it never made it to a theatre near me......now I know.
Se7en (1995)
keeps you guessing
This was/is a fantastic movie. They don't come much better than this. I was actually hesitant to rent it after missing it at the theatre and hearing so much about it from everyone. Fortunately,I didn't hear anything to ruin it for me and finally did end up getting it. The story is so completely original and the acting is above board also. I wish there were as well thought out and acted as this one,instead we get stuck with garbage like 'Not Another Teen Movie' and the like. If only Hollywood would get back to art,rather than the almighty dollar...
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
good...but we've seen it already
I really thought I'd hate this movie but it wasn't at all bad. In fact, I really enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I was going to. Exciting racing,nice cars and not a bad story...buuuuuuut; it's already been done. The story is so close to Point Break that the writers HAD to have noticed it. Point Break is the better of the two,but I still recommend this one. Now for the other bad stuff....(I'd put this under the goofs section,but it's not available yet). 1- The first streetrace we see lasts far longer than a quarter mile race does,which is NEVER over 20 seconds (unless your car is really really slow or broken). Well,this first race was (roughly) 2 minutes in duration. I know it makes for better action,but it's unreasonable all the same. 2- I don't care how powerful your car is. In the final scene of the movie,Dom does a wheelstand WITHOUT doing a burnout (heats the tires for traction) this is impossible (although great eye candy,the car would do nothing but sit there and spin) and 3- Final scene again. Dom's car apparantly was a 9 second vehicle vs the 10 second import and the race ended neck and neck. There is no way they would end that close if the cars truly ran what they said they did. A full second in a race is a huge gap. If there were a couple of tenths difference,that would be different..but a FULL second? That being said....it was a pretty good movie anyway. 7/10