Change Your Image
JonaTan N
Reviews
The 13th Warrior (1999)
The Coolest Vikings since 1000 AD
Crichtons modern version of the 8th century Beowulf poem! The poem; which in its own time modernized the tales of fifth century Hun; Ruga son of Huldin (Hrotgar son of Healfdene) and 6th century Geat; Huglet/Chocilaicus (Hygelac) of Jutland, used the mythological tales of the danish Scyldings-kings (nearest heathen realm of the poems anglo-saxon authors) and mixed it with semi-historical characters/incidents and created an epic that lived on for centuries.
Same method is used in "The 13th Warrior"! Crichton mixes the basic plot of the poem; including Grendel´s (here the Wendols) massacres at Heorot, and the slaying of his mother in the underworld; with the authentic journey of the arabian magistrate Ahmad ibn Fadlan (ibn Al-Abbas ibn Rashid ibn Hammad) and his eyewitness report of his meeting with russian vikings at the Volga river in 921-22 AD.
The result of mixing Ibn Fadlan´s story with the Beowulf poem is that of a band of main characters and a story structure reminiscent of Akira Korusawas action-epic "Shichinin no samurai". Their (Ibn Fadlan & The Vikings) cultural differences and misunderstandings are humorous vehicles, the horror is brilliantly delivered by updating the Grendel-character to the flesh-eating (semi-neanderthal) Wendols, and plenty of action-scenes fills the gaps between.
Dialogue may seem pretentious at times, but is delivered with such ultra-coolness and humor by the actors (especially Vladimir Kulich, Dennis Storhøi and Antonio Banderas) that it works great in this specific universe. Ibn Fadlans prayer before the final battle and the following death-chant of the vikings (Lo there do i see my father etc.)would have made any Skeld of Iceland proud.
Final kudos to production-designer Wolf Kroeger for combining one of the darkest and bloodiest medieval settings yet, with a sense of 1800th century Wagnerian romanticism, and creating a unique visual world instead of pretending to create the historical realism of the early 10th century (which would work terribly with the fantasy of the Wendols). This is fantasy! Not a historical drama.
This is a simple action movie intended for a wide audience! Its not finer art, but the finest art of the myths and folktales on which it is based is and has always been to amuse and seduce the greatest number of people, and take any new form to reach these goals. A movie like this does not mock its classic sources but evolves them, and it is the destiny of folktales always to evolve from generation to generation. To take new and contemporary forms that appeals to the masses. Nobody owns them, no-one can make the definite version!
*******
Nude on the Moon (1961)
Remake Needed
This movie has a great premise! Astronauts undertake on a mission to the moon. When they reach their destination, it appears to be overrun by dishy females in the nude. Setups for dramas of life and death, of love and betrayal... but no payoffs! The great disappointments of this gem of the sixties is that it forgets its story upon reaching the moon. Instead we see lots and lots of barely dressed girls having a good time. This plot-turn would be quite understandable if they were in fact nude, but compared to modern times, we see no more that one might hope for at a public beach. However the dialogues are amusing, and the production-design is unforgettable. "Nude on the Moon" leaves one with the hope for a modern remake (true to the title) that dares to challenge modern day Hollywood from its current puritan "make war not love" attitude and show the american youth that it is no bigger shame to flash their butts and on celuloid. Unfortunately: they dont make them like this anymore!