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Reviews
The Seven Seductions (1982)
For people with a tolerance for fake-Asians
An extraordinarily British man goes to visit 'Asian' Annette Haven for sexual guidance. Speaking in the `mysterious' way that only non-Asians playing Asians speak in, she gives him advice in sex concerning centerfolds, mannequins and older/younger women. Much of the movie is set in a very dark basement, which makes some of the XXX-action hard to see. For people with a tolerance for fake-Asians, this is a pretty nice film with some atmosphere.
Mary! Mary! (1977)
Great stuff in a average way
John Leslie, a stud with genital problems, begs the devil for help with his marriage. His wife, Constance Money, complains over his pre-spray functions so he agrees to sell his soul for sex. Since he is in a porno film he probably would have got some anyway, but maybe one shouldn't complain too much over this somewhat amusing film, filled with somewhat great sex. Although the storyline is reserved for the first few minutes, the plumbing that follows is good and the performers seem to enjoy themselves. The movie ends on a positive note and you realise that you have seen the whole thing without collapsing exhausted to the floor, hairy, sweaty organs forever burned into your retinas.
Ultra Flesh (1980)
Dictators, Dwarfs and Seka.
On earth every male has become impotent, thanks to the general deviousness of a banana-republic dictator from outer space (Jamie Gillis, always great) and his hysterically cackling dwarf assistants. Spacebabe Seka, has to shoot genitally powered lasers on every human male to save humanity. I'm always glad to see porno's who can think of something to put in their movies besides endless sex, in this case a funny car-chase (without any cars, but with bicycles and babycarts). This is porno at its most silly, something for all those who liked `Flesh Gordon'.
The Legend of Lady Blue (1978)
Too much/too little story/sex
This adult movie from 1979 makes a common mistake among "good" porno films, the mistake of getting you interested in the story. You sit there nodding your head; "aha" "hmm-mm" "So the young lovers are separated by Vietnam, how positively horrifying!'. Then, BANG, endless orgies follow and 40 minutes later you are left wondering: Who is that man? That man, of course, is the leading man that you probably remember from the movie, whose plight managed to bring such tears to your eyes, before all sweaty flesh-feasts.
The lead is studying to become a doctor, a sexscene follows and suddenly he is a taxidriver. You get the feeling that the director turned the camera around from the real movie to film a hairy crotch instead. Although we are talking about XXX here, story and sex can function together, a difficult balance that this movie doesn't really fix.
Shojo no harawata (1986)
For a sick movie - Too tame!
When i sit down to watch a movie with a name such a this and a reputation to be one of the most grotesque japanese cinema has to offer i await to be repulsed. That didn´t happen. The first half of the movie was filled with softcore leening towards rape-porn, often featured in japanese films such as this. The few gore scenes where placed in the dark so you couldn´t see what was happening. There is of course the infamous highlight with chopped of hands, naked girls and lots of monster semen, but this comes too late. You are already uninterested. So, if this sounds appealing, see the movie with low expectations.