tankhimo Reviews

Islands of Wonder: Hawaii (2020) Season 1, Episode 3

Great visuals, poor narration

[7/10 · 3 November 2020]

I might be spoiled by great storytelling of David Attenborough or Neil deGrasse Tyson but I find the voice narrating the episode rather bland and monotonous. Loved the photography though.

An Evening with Beverly Luff Linn (2018)

All 3 stars go to Aubrey Plaza

[3/10 · 18 June 2020]

How many good comics does it take to create 108 minutes of stupid? Apparently, any number will do. I am yet to discover a movie with Aubrey Plaza in a major role I could not watch but this came pretty close.

Queens of Mystery (2019– )

A very lame attempt at "Pushing Daisies", practically plagiarizing

[6/10 · 25 September 2019]

I like British mysteries, especially the funny kind, and I love "Pushing Daisies". "Queens of Mystery" was utterly disappointing. I had to watch 4 episodes because my wife kind of liked it before she agreed it was boring and unsatisfying. Other than Matilda, not a single regular character has any personality to speak of, and she alone can't carry the entire show. I would rather watch dark disgusting serial killer shows like "Wire in the Blood" with great acting and personalities than empty fluff.

Fifty Shades Darker (2017)

More of the same for no apparent reason

[3/10 · 4 June 2017]

So, they make a movie based on an erotic book (when did that end well?), hire two actors nobody ever heard about, both possessing zero personality and even less chemistry between them, and it's a solid flop, hated equally by viewers and critics. Even the trailer looks extremely boring. And it's about sex!

Then they come back for a second helping with the same exact result? I don't understand how this works and what's the point of making sequels to crappy movies. Does it make sense financially? Tyler Perry, please help!

In Jackson Heights (2015)

A disjointed mess in a desperate need of editing

[5/10 · 21 August 2016]

I watched this travesty because I live in Queens and regularly visit Jackson Heights, and I did not notice the length of the movie before ordering. What I got was over 3 hours of home video, full of endless boring community talks and small business owners complaining about gentrification of Queens, same people who buy at Costco for resale. Disproportional number of LGBT scenes. It's Jackson Heights, not Provincetown. It has its good moments - some very beautiful street shots and the best part - the taxi driver school towards the end of the film, the reason for my 5 star rating (would be 2 or 3 otherwise). Cut this disjointed mess down to 1 hour, and you can get a very good documentary worthy of 7 or 8 stars.

Made for Each Other (1971)

Very Disappointed

[4/10 · 16 November 2015]

This is a really bad movie. My wife and I recently saw Renée Taylor live in Queens Theatre, and wanted to watch one of her early movies. "Made For Each Other" looked like a good candidate, so I went and ordered a DVD on Amazon. We were very disappointed. Directing was simply awful, and it was very boring and even depressing for a comedy. After struggling through the first half hour, we fast-forwarded the rest of the movie with only one stop - the cabaret number (the extra star in my rating), which we already saw on YouTube in the same quality free of charge. Speaking of quality: at $20 list price, Twentieth Century Fox could have bothered to clean up video and sound somewhat or at least to make subtitles.

To the Wonder (2012)

Too much beauty, zero content

[6/10 · 15 August 2013]

This movie tries so hard to be beautiful, it hurts. I got a beauty overdose after 20 minutes. The cinematography is so gorgeous, it should be used to teach photography students, especially ultra-wide lens work. There is a lot of beautiful acting by insanely beautiful Olga Kurylenko and then some by beautiful Rachel McAdams, whose character is absolutely unnecessary, by the way. Not much more in terms of acting, though. Even the great Javier Bardem was acting Ben Affleck style - making serious faces and trying not to look stupid. Both extremely beautiful, of course. The score was quite beautiful, too. Other than all that beauty, there was nothing. No plot, no dialogues. Scattered pseudo-spiritual monologues in five languages did not help much, and reading meaningless subtitles distracted me from watching the aforementioned beauty. Bottom line: way too much beauty and zero content. Recommended to aspiring photographers and very patient Olga Kurylenko fans.

There's Something About Mary (1998)

Disgusting is not necessarily funny

[1/10 · 2 August 2003]

The worst kind of American humor - disgusting, stupid instead of silly and extremely unfunny. I was shocked when AFI gave this poor excuse for a comedy number 27 in their "100 Funniest American Movies Of All Time". The only way you find it funny is if you are 10 years old or a moron. They did not even notice "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" or "Noises Off", comedies Hollywood should be proud of. I thought Americans were smarter than that. And this rating comes from a "jury of 1800 leaders from the film community". I guess with this kind of leadership we should expect more Adam Sandler than Michael Caine in the future. By the way, I believe Ben Stiller is a talented actor/director and capable of much more than "There's Something About Mary". The bottom line is, there are dozens of reality shows, so why should Hollywood spend millions to please stupid people? Do something for the rest of us!!!