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andykatzlove
Reviews
Deal or No Deal (2005)
People Pick Random Numbers... That's It... Who Finds This Entertaining?
All that happens in this entire show is models holding numbered briefcases walk out, then the host (that famous and hilarious guy who starred in the movie "Walk Like A Man" in like 1981 then disappeared until now) asks the contestant to randomly pick numbers. Then they open those cases. Wow! That's it. The object is to not open the cases with big dollar amounts in them. A completely random game. After each round, the "banker" (a shadowy figure in a booth overlooking the studio floor - possibly one of the host's "Walk Like A Man" co-stars) calls down with an offer to buy the briefcase the contestant selected. Then they have to decide if they will take the offer or shout "NO DEAL!" and put the smack down on a big red button, which is so dramatic a moment I simply cannot put it into words. This show is almost as boring as watching grass grow. It says nothing but horrible things about our society that this random-numbers-guessing-game is a highly rated TV show.
College (2008)
Pathetic
This movie is pathetic. Awful. Just awful. Really bloody awful. The jokes -- if there even are any, it's hard to tell -- are painfully unfunny. They all fall flat. They are also all of the "poop", "fart" and "getting laid" variety which we've all seen done to death lately (and done much better) in other movies about us young people. Whoever made this movie should be jailed for the rest of their life just to make sure they can't possibly even accidentally wander onto a movie set again. That is how awful this movie is. I almost vomited. Somehow this movie gave me some kind of a flu. Everyone involved with this movie should be banned from movie work for the rest of their lives. Horrible acting, horrible writing, a horrible script all the way around. Not funny at all.
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)
Atrocious - George Lucas Should Be Forced Into Retirement
This movie is atrocious. I'm watching it right now and thought I would take this commercial break to say how awful it is. Like thousands of other people I went to see it at the theatre when it first came out. I waited in line and the theatre was packed and there was so much excitement which turned to shock at how bad it was. Have you ever heard five hundred people groan all at once? I have, at this movie. Every time Jar Jar Binks was on screen doing his pathetic "comic relief". Every time that useless kid tried to act, and every time a fourth-grade level line of dialog was delivered. GROAN! Then everyone just got angry that this movie with such high hopes and with so many years of thought put into it was allowed to suck so completely. I hoped that it was just a "horrible by comparison" thing and that when I finally watched it again (today) it might not suck so much but no such luck. This movie sucks, completely, totally sucks. Avoid at all costs, it has ruined the entire Star Wars franchise for me. I'll still give the other two prequels another try but I'm guessing the second movie will also still completely blow and Revenge of the Sith will still be an okay film but not nearly as good as the first three.
Little Mosque on the Prairie (2007)
Lame
Little Mosque on the Prairie surprises me, but only because I can't believe it's still on the air. The only reason this is on TV because of all the hype it got, I can't remember the last time CBC pumped up a show and ran so many ads for a show as it did for Little Mosque on the Prairie. And adding to the hype was the big "controversy" about how the CBC would present Muslim Canadians in a TV comedy. Oooooooo! Have you seen it? So controversial! I can't believe it's still on the air because it's so controversial and edgy, like most CBC shows. No wait, like most pathetic CBC comedies (Air Farce and pretty much everything since Kids in the Hall except Twitch City and This Is Wonderland which they canceled for some unknown reason, probably because it was actually good), it is completely generic, inoffensive to absolutely everyone, and completely unfunny. Little Mosque on the Prairie should be put down like the lame duck that it is.
Monday Report (2004)
Boring
This show is very boring. The entire show is just Rick Mercer which wouldn't be so bad if he was being funny at some point, but he never is. I also liked him on This Hour Has 22 Minutes but on this he is just boring and seems like he is getting really old. All that happens in the show is, Rick Mercer goes somewhere and talks to people. The episode I am watching now has Rick Mercer going to visit a guy who makes his own wine. For the last fifteen minutes I've been watching Rick Mercer help pick grapes, ask if they can drink wine while they pick the grapes (HILARIOUS!), take a shot of whiskey and say it's because two jobs are helped by drinking- grape pickers and newscasters (HILARIOUS!), arrive the next morning at eight thirty and say he's tired not because it's so early but because last night was so late (OMG HILARIOUS!), dump the grapes into a big vat (HILARIOUS!) then drive a forklift, pick up the vat and move it to the grape press (OMG! ARE YOU KIDDING ME! HILARIOUS!), pretend his fingers are stuck in the press but really it's just his glove (HAHAHAAHAHAHHAA! SO FRIKKIN FUNNY! HILARIOUS! I THOUGHT HIS FINGERS WERE IN THERE! I'M SO STUPID! LOL ROFL LMAO!), say that he doesn't even care what happens now because his day's already full because he drove a forklift (HILARIOUS!), ask if he can name the new wine and suggests "Chateau Regret" (OMG CAN YOU THINK OF A MORE HILARIOUS NAME? THAT IS SO FUNNY! SO HILARIOUS!), pretend that the noise of the wine dribbling out into a bucket is actually the sound of someone peeing (HAHAHA! PEE JOKE! HILARIOUS!), then I finally turned the channel because I could not take any more of this hilarity. This show sucks, the CBC is finally dragging Royal Canadian Air Farce off the air and I hope Mercer and 22 Minutes aren't far behind.
M.V.P. (2008)
Pathetic
MVP was a huge mistake on every level I can possibly imagine. The acting, writing, directing and production as a whole in every way was simply put, pathetic. It is one of those shows where we are left wondering "how did something that bad get put on television in the first place?" The basic premise is that this is a soap-type drama about professional hockey players and their wives. Sorry but whoever thought that just because this is Canada you can make up a show revolving around hockey and have it be good is just plain wrong, this show is terrible. The most annoying thing was the characters, they were all unbelievable and horrible, and that had a lot to do with the awful acting.
Train 48 (2003)
Pathetic Canadian Television!
Why do so many shows have to be awful? Especially when you are talking about Canadian comedy shows, not that I would even consider this show to be anything even approaching actual "comedy". Train 48 was just pathetic on every level, with cheap production, no name talent, one single cheap set, and not even a script but having the untalented cast improvise their parts for the shows. It was simply put incredibly painful to watch this pathetic show. Plus it somehow lasted more than one season. What, how on earth could that happen? I have never met a single person who doesn't hate this show, and I don't mean "doesn't watch" or "doesn't like" I mean "Hates" with a capital H. This show is awful. Who are these people and how do they get on TV?
Popcultured (2005)
Worst Show Ever
Popcultured is the worst show ever made in Canada or anywhere else in the world. Everyone hates it so I don't have to explain why I'm saying it sucks everyone knows it just does. I have to write ten lines to count though so.... The guests they had on the show were the worst but the worst was the host. Elvira Kurt made me want to smash my TV in but lucky I could just turn the channel instead cause I like my TV.... sometimes it gives me good shows not Popcultured. The jokes are the worst. But I still have to stop and watch when I click through channels just to see just how bad it is and it was always painfully bad. Popcultured is not anywhere near The Daily Show. There ten lines!