haggar Reviews

Royal Matchmaker (2018 TV Movie)

100% predictable tripe

[3/10 · 26 March 2018]

Every schmaltzy stereotype is there, and the movie ends exactly like you could predict by reading the title and watching the first 5 minutes.

Terrible things must have happened to your brain for you to find any enjoyment in this feature.

Pressure (II) (2015)

Perfectly predictable

[3/10 · 16 June 2015]

If you have an average intelligence, you will notice all the typical plot lines, written according to a very strict template. You know immediately that there will be an accident. You know who will be involved. You know WHEN it will happen. You know that, of the group of people in the involved, only ONE will survive. You also know WHO that person will be.

If you are a person with average intelligence, you will simply fast- forward to check your assumptions, and find all to be correct. This movie doesn't take more than 10 minutes to "enjoy".

Acting and directing was good, but the awesome predictability of the plot is an insult.

Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie (2010)

A fair glimpse at the Warhammer 40.000 universe but not a great movie

[6/10 · 28 December 2010]

After watching this animation, I had very conflicting feelings about it. I was a bit disappointed because it didn't work, for me, as a sci-fi movie. But then I also realized that I wasn't happy about the choice of the races portrayed, as I think the Eldar Harlequines would make for a much more visually pleasing experience. Nevertheless, as a sci-fi movie, it might not have delivered anyway.

Then I had another, retrospective, look at what the movie presented, and realized that some essential aspects of the Warhammer 40.000 universe were touched upon in a balanced way. It doesn't distract the casual viewer, and it probably wets the palate of the die-hard Warhammer 40.000 nerd. (I am neither, I just happened to study this universe for a few weeks.)

The plot is vaguely interesting, though the action suffers from tempo issues at times, which I am sure any viewer will notice and be a bit frustrated about. The action sequences range from boring to fascinating. Here, too, I have some conflicting impressions.

The characters are clichéd but one is really not expected to care much about them in a personal way. They are all warriors, and in that sense, the Warhammer 40.000 universe's flavor comes through and it probably doesn't disturb too much.

All in all, I think I could have spent these 70 minutes in worse ways, and hope most viewers will gain at least the same amount of fun as I did.

Multiple Sarcasms (2010)

Poor man, he's bored.

[3/10 · 23 May 2010]

My wife and I just couldn't muster the energy and will to watch a movie about a man who has everything (wife, daughter and job), and is in a rather enviable position overall. And his problem is... well, we couldn't figure out. He's bored? Doesn't "like his life"? So, let's make a movie about it, shall we?

The premise to this movie is so preposterous, that his audience may be left completely unsympathetic to the main character, or even less sympathetic to the whole enterprise that made the movie possible.

The saving grace of this movie is the good directing - there's a pinch of comedy to give a genre direction to the movie, but apart that, the characters seem rather genuine. Sadly, the whole plot is stillborn and worthless.

Daddy and Them (2001)

BBT is up to something!

[8/10 · 1 April 2006]

I will be the first to admit that I was skeptical about Thorton writing and directing this movie. And since I was (still am) going through a complicated divorce when I saw the movie, it made me cringe a few times in the first half of the movie. Up until Julia had her outburst - after that, things started to converge. Without giving away too much, I'll say that I can easily compare this movie to a symphony that is unconventional in the sense that it doesn't have a climax where a naive audience expects it to be. However, the first half being full of dissonance and stark tones, that almost magically become resolved into a harmony.

Seeing as though the IMDb patrons gave this movie only barely more than a 5 score, what I am going to say now will be controversial: I think Thorton is a freaking genius, and I am glad I watched this movie. For me, this is a solid 8 stars.

The Delta Force (1986)

A very strong historical context

[7/10 · 26 February 2005]

This movie should be seen for two reasons: it's one of the few action movies where the leading star does not "clean the table" all by him/herself. We see some teamwork, for a change. Sadly, Hollywood just can't stand that, for some reason, and so we will never see a movie such as this, everafter.

The second reason why it should be seen, is it describes quite accurately the horror that happened during the hijacking of the Trans World Airlines Flight 847 in June 1985. Jews divided by gentiles and torture and murder of a Navy diver, as well as the diversion to Beirout, Lebanon, are, sadly, all factual. I believe that it is important not to forget what terrorism is, important to whitewash history under a politically correct stream of demagogy.

Finally, I thought the pace of the movie was enjoyable, as well as seeing the terrorist's butt kicked.

Final Run (1999 TV Movie)

Oh the predictability, the cliché...

[1/10 · 19 February 2005]

This movie has major plot holes. This movie is full of clichés (my personal worst peever). Much of the acting in this movie was terrible. What this movie lacks is the smallest reason for watching it.

The clichés are so numerous - in fact, the whole movie is one big cliché - that you can safely predict everything except the mind-boggling plot holes. So there is no way any of the "spoilers" in the comments below, could actually spoil this movie. You will be able to figure out pretty much all that's going to happen, already some 15 minutes into the movie.

You can do something better with your life.

The One (2001)

Please, not another....

[2/10 · 4 February 2005]

...another twins and identity confusion movie! If you are offended by Hollywood churning out movie after movie with the same ideas, do yourself a favor and pass on this one.

What you will avoid: two identically looking dudes, one good the other evil, have at each other. Everybody else shoots at the good guy.

In the end, there is the big, final fight between the good and the bad. Ummm... yeah, we might have seen that one, already, here and there.

Sure, there are fight scenes, car chases, guns and violence, but they are the only content of this movie. And you must admit, it's not a very original content.

Reign of Fire (2002)

Excellent, if you're braindead

[4/10 · 2 October 2004]

What's the worst way to kill a dragon? Let three people jump from a helicopter, making sure they don't open their schutes while trying to shoot a net in some random direction.

What's the worst way to fortify yourself expecting a fire-spitting flying monster? Not to protect yourself at all.

How could all the armies of the world fail against those monsters? They use nukes instead of conventional weapons. Apparently. Or they were just playing scrabble while the monsters were destroying them.

What is the worst way of using armored cars when expecting an attack from such monsters? Stay outside.

And, of course, the fate of humankind rests on the shoulders of one man armed with a bow and arrows.

The Andromeda Strain (1971)

A Sci-Fi with a capital "S".

[10/10 · 22 May 2004]

I have always been attracted by science, since my early childhood. I remember seeing this movie and being fascinated by the science and technology on display in it. Today, as a MSC EE, I can see that the science in "Andromeda Strain" is accurate. In fact, it's the most accurate of all Sci-Fi movies I have ever seen (and I have seen the great majority of Sci-Fi cinema).

That's one reason I love this movie.

But there are other, probably subjective reasosn for my adulation of "Andromeda Strain": believable people and believable situations (no "last microsecond decision/action/occurance", no over-the-top behaviour, just human quirkyness, no one-man-does-it-all but teamwork and birth of ideas) and the avoidance of the cliche of only-1-will-survive. So, yes, I liked the script a lot.

I also thought the actors were good and the setting was brilliant. I am not put off by dated computer technology: the film clearly illustrates the computing capabilities at the beginning of the '70, and I find something educative and strangely reassuring in that.

I give it 10/10, and am sad that nobody produced a Sci-Fi as scientificly accurate ever since.

The Fly (1986)

Well-paced, almost insightful

[8/10 · 8 January 2004]

This movie was a very pleasant surprise. It's really well-directed, well acted and the script (which I find extremely refreshing) doesn't insult your intelligence. And the pace increases in a very natural and enjoyable way, till the end.

In my opinion, this is the best monster-sci-fi movie ever made. 8.5/10

As Good as It Gets (1997)

It gets really good

[8/10 · 17 May 2003]

What a wonderful, smart movie! This movie has probably one of the best scripts and dialogues in the history of cinema. And the actors just won't let you down, either.

I can imagine that most of the audience won't get all the wits, the turns and shades, the hihg-energy interchange that goes on among the subjects of this movie, but I suggest that you then see the movie one more time. And by all means, do watch it till the end, even though the beginning might seem discouraging. The movie in its entirety is actually very encouraging and reassuring, even uplifting.

I had a lot of fun watching this movie and not because of the occasional humor. I hope it will "do it for you", too.

The Element of Crime (1984)

The element of a bad movie

[3/10 · 12 January 2003]

The good: a good idea. The bad: less substance than "Pi", less clarity than "Eraserhead", more lurid than any vampire movie could ever be. The ugly: it's nausea-inducing and sleep-inducing at the same time.

The acting is void, meaningless and I believe it was not because of a lack of talent on the part of the actors, but a deliberate decision of the director. And it backfired miserably.

Facade (1999)

Hilarious!

[7/10 · 26 December 2002]

This movie is NOT a thriller or an action movie (unlike IMDB itself categorizes it); it's a dark comedy, in the truest sense of the word. SPOILER: So, if you thought otherwise, you must have seen only the first few minutes of the movie. As time goes by, however, you become aware that things don't quite "click" in the sense of a real thriller. It's not just a simple murder with dark, commercial motivations, no, things start to be whackier by the minute, and at a certain point even the most stubborn spectator will burst in a laughter, giving up any hope that they'll enjoy an action-packed thriller, giving up any hope that the police will catch the bad guys.

This film was so brilliantly directed that the true nature of the film just gradually becomes apparent. The actors did a remarkable job, as well. The only regrettable thing would be the usage of the "funny music" by the end of the movie. The director did a great job of keeping a "straight face" throughout all the hilariously unbelievable situations, without resorting to any external "indicator" (musical or otherwise) to signal to the viewer "it's funny, laugh!". Too bad he gave in by the end.

It's a very minor imperfection, though, and I would warmly recommend this movie to the intelligent and curious film fan. It's a one-of-a-kind, and it's done well.

Another Day in Paradise (1998)

Wood at it's best in a well-directed movie

[7/10 · 26 December 2002]

I thought this was a very enjoyable movie, with good acting all around, including the two kids, Kartheiser and Gregson Wagner. The story of smalltime criminals that want to make it big, the story about drugs and violence, is perhaps not very new, but the way it's narrated in "Another Day in Paradise" makes it really worthwhile to watch the movie. What is, to some extent, new or different in this story is the theme of growing up, an issue that the two young protagonists are facing with fear and resentment.

So I think this is a movie that is fun to watch and shouldn't disappoint any kind of viewer, and has a high re-watchability factor. In the scale from 1 to 10, I give it a solid 7.

On the Beach (2000 TV Movie)

Weak and distrubingly unlogical

[6/10 · 23 November 2002]

As others have said, the romantic part of the movie is very bland, it detracts a lot from what might have been a good TV movie. For the average viewer, that is. But if you are one of those unlucky fellows that likes to use their brains a little bit, you'll be disappointed with the premise:

• Warning! Spoilers ahead -

So, the premise is, after a nuclear way, the northern hemisphere is polluted with radioactive waste, but one scientist suspects that increased UV might have removed the nuclear pollution near the North pole. Interesting, maybe even plausible. What is totally un-plausible is the following: they send a submarine to check this out, because all communication with the north has ceased and only a submarine can go there, avoiding the radiation. Now why wouldn't they just send a plane? Well, duh, because... hmmm... yeah, why not? In this movie, moreover, Australians are waiting for their destiny as the pollution from the fallout approaches, without even trying to use the time they have to build underground refuges, even though the supplies seem to be aboundant, as well as the time. Again, why not?

Contrast this movie to "The day after", which in a much shorter feature time describes all the doom humanity can bring upon itself, all the humane tragedy, even the romantic aspects, without spoiling it all, and all along keeping some scientific and logical sense.

Deadly Heroes (1993)

What a flaming rubbish of a movie

[2/10 · 24 July 2002]

I have, in all honesty, never seen a movie with worse acting, script and directing, and I have seen very many movies in my life.

This movie does not deserve more words for a comment, neither it needs more. By any means, try to see this movie, try to see the first 20 minutes. If you are human, you'll cry in pain because of the sheer stupidity yielded by this motion picture.

There's Something About Mary (1998)

At least for me, it was like a kick in the groin

[1/10 · 8 April 2002]

I can imagine (although hardly) that someone would find it funny, but I found too many scenes humiliating for the viewer. Other were plain disgusting and gross.

I don't deny the existence of a plot and some funny moments, but unfortunately the majority of the movie is overpoweringly humiliating. I felt a sense of liberation when this whole movie started to remind me of "Very bad things", and not only because of the presence of Diaz. Then all hte humiliation, evil and pain emanating from the varios situations started to make some horrible sense.

Be very careful about deciding to watch this movie, there is a little likelyhood that you will feel beaten down, sad and engrossed, and maybe you will not even stand to see the whole of it.

Going to Kansas City (1998)

Good directing

[7/10 · 15 March 2002]

This is a romantic drama peppered with some music. And a bit of a thriller. It seems to me that almost all profiles of audience should find some amusement in it.

The plot is really the least original part of this movie, but I wouldn't dismiss it completely. The acting was OK and the director did a fantastic job with what he had at hand. Good control with some moments of inspiration salvage this movie and bring out the fun factor as much as the plot could permit. I wish to see more movies crafted under the direction of Pekka Mandart, aided perhaps by more fortunate scripts.

Tron (1982)

So much ahead of it's time

[8/10 · 5 February 2002]

This movie got 10 points from me, not because all of it's elements are perfect - they aren't - but because it represents an outstanding look into the future of computing. So accurate a look, actually, that it's almost unbelievable.

Even today, many movies that talk about the Internet, are less truthful, believable, than Tron. In comparison, "The Net" is braindead.

The other reason it gets a 10 are the CGI (computer graphic imagery) effects, stunning even by today's standards.

• Little spoiler ahead!! - I will mention the elements that I disliked: the acting wasn't very good, and the little scene of infidelity was out of place (the one where Flynn and the female program kiss romantically).

But that's about it, I really enjoyed the movie, and was surprised that I didn't find any Disney-bollocks. Ahead of it's time in both content, idea and animation, Tron is going to have a large group of followers in the years to come.

A Life for a Life (1998 TV Movie)

Simply powerful

[10/10 · 10 December 2001]

This movie will probably make you cry, because it speaks with the power of reality, and the acting was top notch for all roles, main and secondary alike. In comparison, "Killing fields" lost a lot because of a few lousy actors.

Back to "Life for a life" (AKA "The story of Stefan Kiszko"), this is a moving movie, not quite sophisticated as, for example, "Requiem for a dream", but all the more direct. As I said in the title of this review, it's -simply- powerful.

How powerful was the movie, to me? Suffice it to say that I have been waking up in the morning, for a few days after watching the movie, thinking about Stefan and his mother, feeling deeply sad for them and saying a prayer, with my faith in God getting a whole new meaning. Yes, it was that deep. Without faith, I thought, the pain described in the movie could be utterly unbearable, even for just the honest audience of this movie. Because, I think, this is what this movie needs; an honest, emotionally participating and empathic audience above all, that will somehow try to make the wrongs of this world a little bit better.

The Man Who Knew Too Little (1997)

Simply too dang funny

[9/10 · 10 December 2001]

I think I laughed too much, if such a thing is even possible, from the beginning to the end of this movie.

It might be the most cerebral of comedies, but it was executed masterfully, none of the acting felt forced, none of the gags were a throwaway. Murray was fascinating and radiated an aura of honesty, dumbness and charm, all at the same time. Certainly all the actors deserve kudos for their work, but let me just mention the indestructible Richard Wilson; they couldn't have found a better actor for the role of the oldboy British politician. He was so classic!

Interestingly, I had a very strong impression the movie was made in the mid 70'. It was so strange to see and hear mentioning things like "end of the cold war" or other references to this modern (end of/beginning of century), I tended to forget it right off and imagine I'm seeing a comedy made a quarter of a century earlier.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, I advise you to go and enjoy it. The worst thing that can happen is that you die laughing.

Pi (1998)

The physical pain

[1/10 · 4 December 2001]

I am sure not many real scientists have survived watching this movie. I personally felt the stupidity literally painful. It hurts even more because it's interspersed with interesting mathematical concepts. I am sad that a great opportunity has been completely obliterated. Certainly, a movie about patterns in Pi, about the Fibonacci numbers, the golden section and (not directly mentioned, but hinted at) fractals, has to be interesting. Right? Well, not really. This movie proves that if you have a certain quantity of daftness in, you can spoil it. "Pi" in particular, had way too much of it.

This movie resambled a highschool jock that read a few columns in a magazine, and is trying to impress the girls with it. Some of the girls will fall for it, no doubt.

To me, it was irritating and stupid.

The X Files (1998)

One big heap of bull

[1/10 · 12 November 2001]

Even though I got used to the fact that sci-fi movies coming from Hollywood are usually void of logic and intelligence, I wasn't prepared for such a nonsense.

• Minor spoilers ahead -

The nonsense pertains to the number of unlikely events happening throughout the movie, facts on both chemistry, biology and the FBI, the logic and motivation of the stakeholders and many more. This movie really requires the audience to turn off their brains, or to be virtually braindead, in order to be able to enjoy it.

I was even entertaining the idea that the director's purpose was to create a parody, some kind of comedy about conspiracy and aliens, but there are too many details for that, in addition to the fact that the movie wasn't humorous one bit, except for the whole shambles.

If your IQ is above 85, don't watch it. Spend time with your family, make a walk in the nature, read some good book or just have a refreshing nap, just don't waste two hours of your life on this. I did it, it was a mistake, but you have been warned.

When a Man Loves a Woman (1994)

A movie where I didn't like Meg Ryan one bit

[7/10 · 31 October 2001]

I was thinking, hey, Meg Ryan is really irritating in this role. The I realized she is the same person, in each role I ever saw her. Is she just being herself? In every movie?

In any case, her acting was laughable. There is nothing loveable about this Alice person. I couldn't even feel pity for her as an alcohol addict.

And the whole situation is not really believable: care and attention is rejected by Alice for what reason exactly? Does that make any sense? The script has some big psychological inconsistncies. And why is she an addict in the first place? The movie seems to hint to the fact that her husband is often away, but to be honest, he's not away all that much, and later in the movie this hint totally fades away.

Another fault is that the kid's character development is completely erratic. I don't at all understand what is each kid's spiritual world, what is their personality. Big "thumbs down". I don't fault the children's acting, though, I think they did a terrific job, really. It's totally the fault of the conducting of the movie and the script.

Anyway, good elements here and there, but the movie is way overrated.