Cpt_JackSparrow Reviews

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Hegemony (2023) Season 2, Episode 10

Beam me up Scotty!

[10/10 · 10 August 2023]

After the disastrous previous episode in which I gave a one star rating I am happy to say that the show is back on track and true to form.

It's clear they were saving their budget on this episode and hopefully the next one as well. Everything about this episode is what I love about this show. I'm particularly amazed at the CGI for a TV Show. Almost cinema level quality.

No spoilers, but I'm very excited about the new addition to the crew! He did a fantastic job and his on-screen presence is captivating.

I only hope that Strange New Worlds continues this trajectory of good Sci-Fi story telling with a mix of excellent cinematic actions scenes and even some horror elements. 10 out of 10.

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds: Subspace Rhapsody (2023) Season 2, Episode 9

Why?

[1/10 · 3 August 2023]

I love this show but seriously, know your audience. This episode is the exact opposite of why sci-fi fans tune in to watch "Star Trek Strange New Worlds". No star trekking or strange new world to explore here in this episode. Seems like the writers are running out of ideas for interesting stories. You have a multiverse at your creative disposal, all of space and time and you choose to write a musical episode? By far the worst episode in the entire series so far. I hope it only gets better from here because I doubt it could get worse than this episode. This is Star Trek, not glee. Please stick to what you know.

Ghosted (I) (2023)

Nothing about this is good

[2/10 · 21 April 2023]

Bad acting, bad script, bad graphics, bad plot, bad everything. Even some of the cameos made in this movie could not save it but it's why I'm giving this film a very generous 2 stars instead of 1. Gives you a quick giggle and then it's back to realizing you're wasting an hour and a half of your life. If you're looking for a time waster and a popcorn flick then it's fine. I didn't enjoy it at all. Expected more from Chris Evans with some of the movies he's been in and I'm afraid Ana De Armas might be getting these parts just based on her looks because the lady cannot act. If you want to watch a good Action RomCom then check the archives during the late 90s early 2000s cause what they're putting out these days is just plain rubbish.

Emergency (2022)

Not sure what this is?

[3/10 · 29 May 2022]

The movie starts off as a comedy, then goes into being a thriller then decides to switch back into comedy, then shifts into a drama and finally a weird "GET OUT" ending moment?

I have no idea what I was watching and it was painful, however I wanted to see where it was going.

The acting isn't the best and the story is so ridiculous with so many plot holes. You can tell this movie was really trying to "be something" but it wasn't anything at all. Pretty much a waste of an hour and a half and it is half an hour too long.

The woke politics are pretty clear in the movie and I tried to watch it with an open mind but sadly It was a complete waste of time.

I went into the movie thinking it was a comedy and I did laugh at some parts but then it got very dark and heavy.

Not an enjoyable movie by any means.

Candyman (2021)

Even if you get free tickets to a screening, burn them.

[1/10 · 19 September 2021]

You'll have a much more enjoyable time watching the tickets go up in flames than watching a minute of this boring suck fest of a movie. I used to respect and love Jordan Peele back in his Key and Peele days but looks like the woke mafia and fame got to his head.

Till Death (I) (2021)

Fun movie

[6/10 · 5 September 2021]

Kept me watching and wanting to know what happens. Enough said.

Black Widow (2021)

Poor effort for a Marvel movie

[5/10 · 10 July 2021]

Simply put, this movie was not enjoyable. In fact it was extremely boring. Probably rate it as one of the worst marvel movies. The story was pretty rubbish. You have an opportunity to make a solo black widow movie and this is the best you can come up with? The only reason I gave this 5 stars (and that is being VERY generous) is because of Florence. Her character was enjoyable. Don't pay to see it in the Cinema. Just stream it or watch it at your friends place. Not really worth paying money for.

Friends: The Reunion (2021 TV Special)

Do you see the fakeness or realism?

[5/10 · 29 May 2021]

All I have to say is, Matt Leblanc was the only one to make this reunion work. Watch it again, he was the only one who dived into this reunion as his character "Joey" and embraced his past life with this show, flaws and all. He was the only one to come out on top, and although I know it is not a competition, It is rare to see a celebrity do so. Everyone else seemed just a bit fake, flakey and plastic with the exception of Lisa Kudrow and to some extent David Schwimmer. I get that Mathew Perry is going through some stuff and I can't get a read on Courtney Cox due to all the plastic surgery, but for the most part, it was fun seeing my childhood comedic heroes all together again. And for that, I thank you all. I know it must have been hard, we "everyday" people can't possibly imagine what you go through as celebrities and co-workers on a day-to-day basis.

The Way Back (I) (2020)

To the dumb F@CKS who gave this movies a low review

[10/10 · 21 February 2021]

This isn't a "sports" movie, this isn't a movie about "basketball". And this isn't a movie about redemption with regards to "sports or basketball". This movie goes much deeper than that, and for you small minded adolescents that can't get that through your immature minds, please stick to your marvel movies. The reason I gave this movie a 10 is because it is going to help a lot of people with real world issues who watch it. For most of you'll, you don't understand the meaning of alcoholism and I hope that you never will. There is a stronger battle than just winning at sports. It's winning at life. And as for anyone who wants to turn their life around who is an alcoholic, this movie is pure inspiration.

The Lie (2018)

MAJOR PLOT HOLE!

[6/10 · 8 October 2020]

Yes, the title of my caption is "MAJOR PLOT HOLE" cause there is in fact a major plot hole. Even still, I have given it quite a high rating of... 6 and yes that is high for this film.

That being said, for me, it isn't the destination of a film that affects me, it's the ride. And this story had a really good ride, plot holes aside! It also had a really good moral for today's young ones with first world problems.

I watched this one with my girlfriend, and all we could ask each other through every situation that occurred in the movie is... WHAT WOULD YOU DO??! For a movie to question yourself like that, is fantastic! I love questioning myself based on compelling characters in a movie. And believe me, the characters were compelling! The performances given by all the actors were beyond excellent! There wasn't a minute when I didn't feel as though any of it wasn't real.

This particular film puts you in a more than likely real life situation (and I say more than likely because I believe that this does happen in real life more often than not), you question whether you would make the same decisions or what would you have done differently which is always a key element to story telling!

For the fact of the major plot hole, it has to do with a certain cellular phone. No child/teenager would ever leaver their phone nor leave it shattered in order to create an alternate scenario to their case. However, young psychos do exist. Parents... check your kids!

All in all, I loved this story telling. It kept us wanting to know what was going to happen next every step away.

Yes, there were certain stupid actions taken by certain characters, after which a certain character said NO DON'T DO IT, but there wouldn't be a story without it.

I'm trying to be ambiguous as possible not to spoil anything for anyone but yup. That's it.

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

I really enjoyed it, surprisingly!!

[7/10 · 7 March 2020]

First off, thank you VeEEeerrRRyy much to everyone involved in having a hand at changing Sonic's look.

Second of all, I watched Sonic and Birds of Prey back to back and I never thought In a million years I'd see a family movie adapted from a game be SO SO SO much better than a DC comic movie, but here we are 2020!

This movie had so much heart, Ben Schwartz did an amazing job voicing Sonic and James Marsden was fantastic as always (very underrated actor). As for Jim Carrey, it's good to see my favorite childhood comedian come back to life after a strain in his personal and professional life. He is true to form Jim Carrey!

Yes, the jokes are childish at times, but they are done SO well that it made me, a 34 year old actually laugh out loud! This is a first for me! I never watch movies like this!

I must admit, the intro (for any Sonic fans out there) that little Greenhills tune and the montage of sonic games.... ugh.... just flooded my memory with nostalgia!

This movie was great, for adults and kids!

Birds of Prey (2020)

What the hell did I watch?

[1/10 · 7 March 2020]

This movie was absolute garbage and trust me I tried really hard to enjoy it. You're better off watching the new Harley Quinn cartoon series that has just aired with Kaley Cuoco voicing Harley Quinn. The cartoon is WAY closer to the actual character than the drivel this movie conjured up.

Margot Robbie was excellent in Suicide Squad but for some reason she fell completely flat in her debut solo movie as Harley Quinn.

This movie was all over the place and I did not enjoy ANY of the characters. The cinematography was terrible, I was falling asleep during the action sequences, the dialogue was atrocious, NONE of it was good! Who wrote this? A third grader?

If you're looking for a good time with psychedelic colors, then you're better off watching fireworks on mushrooms.

Thanks for hacking one of my favorite characters of all time.

Avenue 5 (2020–2022)

Not watching it for the laughs

[7/10 · 24 February 2020]

I'm not watching this show for the laughs so much as I'm watching it for the bizarre absurdity of it all.

Okay, it's not laugh out loud "mainstream" comedy but there are few hilarious moments. You need to have a pension for dark humor to enjoy the jokes.

It's keeping me entertained and Hugh Laurie is always a delight as is Josh Gad's character.

It's just hilarious to see the downward spiral of the crew and passengers as they face new disastrous problems aboard the ship and try to overcome them.

It definitely keeps me wanting to know what's going to happen next.

A Little Late with Lilly Singh (2019–2021)

Is this cringe fest train wreck still airing???

[1/10 · 13 January 2020]

I want YOU to keep this in mind as you read this review. I am straight, but have nothing against other people who want to be anything other than straight. I am Indian (which makes me brown and Asian). And I am Male...

1 out of 3 ain't so bad, right Lilly?

Thought I'd check back after I caught an episode of this show months ago. I haven't seen a single episode since, as I refuse to die a slow painful death. Even tried to see if there were any "best bits" of this show on youtube but couldn't find any.

Aside from all the cringe straight white male jokes, this show is an absolute pile of steaming $#!T and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have never felt so strongly in agreeance that a show should be cancelled and should never have existed in the first place.

A word of advice to Lilly, this isn't youtube sweeatheart (TRIGGERED). You are in the big leagues now. You're not dealing with tweens who have nothing better to do than to stream your youtube channel non-stop generating you a massive income. You're actually dealing with an audience that comes home at the end of a long hard day of work (This excludes liberal idiots who believe they shouldn't have to work for money, and that money should automatically be handed to them by "privileged white rich men" and I get this feeling this is actually the key demographic for this show but I digress) All people want to do after a long day of work is be entertained, laugh, forget about their day, leave their worries and troubles behind. This show is not capable of providing any of these prerequisites. Another a bit of advice, "DIVERSITY" does not mean ratings. You may have the most diverse staff of comedy writers, but did you actually check to see if any of them were actually FUNNY??

I have no other way to describe this show other than pure "CRINGE". Everything about it is cringe, the jokes, Lilly's interviewing skills, the audience, the incessant laugh track when a joke falls completely flat! Even majority of the guests are quite cringe.

Please take heed, save yourself 20-30 minutes (however long this show is, didn't even finish the first and only episode I ever watched), save yourself from a very slow and painful death and save yourself from second hand embarrassment FOR Lilly.

When The Late Late Show with James Corden aired I thought to myself... "$#!T, this is pretty bad.... Can't get much worse than this."

I was wrong.

I guess Talk Shows are a dying breed, Conan being one of the last trust hosts that actually takes his job seriously and knows how to entertain an audience and not just pander towards political on-goings and certain groups of people.

Pretty Obsession (2012)

Not worth the 3 seconds of nudity

[2/10 · 31 December 2019]

Let's face facts, if you're watching this movie it isn't going to be for the story or the amazing script and acting.

It's going to be for the gratuitous nudity a movie like this has to offer of which there are a few, however only ONE scene right at the start of the movie features the hot main actress which is about 3 seconds long. The rest of the movie she remains fully clothed only teasing the audience.

The rest of the nude scenes are filled with what look like B-Rated porn stars.

As for the acting, well, I've seen better acting in porn movies and better dialogue.

If you're looking for a similar movie which is actually watchable with a good story line watch CAM (2018).

Servant (2019–2023)

This better be going somewhere

[8/10 · 27 December 2019]

I am a fan of M. Night Shyamalan which is why I started watching this series. I especially like his creative direction within his movies which makes you question whether the story you are watching is real? or is there something supernatural/paranormal/fantasy going on within the story?

The tone in which he sets is very much based in grounded realism. You can look at The Village, Signs, The Sixth Sense. You never knew whether the characters were seeing things or it was part of their imagination or whether the things that were happening were in fact... really happening.

This series very much has the feel to it. I am so intrigued and so invested 6 episodes in and after each episode it just gets more and more shrouded in mystery with new characters introduced and the various plot twists. All I hope is that it doesn't end in a dead end with some really stupid answer to all of this much like the series "LOST".

Servant is not fast paced in fact it is a very slow burn. Each episode has very good build up. The acting, direction and overall tone will keep you glued to the screen wanting to know what's going to happen next.

All of the actors in the series are phenomenal but I have to give extra credit to Toby Kebbell and of course Nell Tiger Free whom I had no idea until I looked in the IMDB's credits was Cersei's daughter in Game of Thrones. She's from England but she puts on a damn good American accent. I'd say she's one to look out for in the near future.

Mother! (2017)

You're better off taking LSD

[1/10 · 11 December 2019]

I know I'm 2 years late with this review but people calling this film a masterpiece need to go see the movie "Joker" with Joaquin Phoenix. Now THAT is a masterpiece. Not this pretentious, symbolic nonsensical garbage the director forces down our throat to analyze and decipher. This movie really pissed me off and Jenifer Lawrence is slowly losing her star power. Just a warning to anyone planning on watching this film. Do not waste your time please. If you want a mind trip you're better off trying to obtain some LSD sitting out in a field somewhere and looking up at the stars.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The Gang Gets Romantic (2019) Season 14, Episode 1

Men are not in-charge anymore! Men don't get to decide what women get to d....

[9/10 · 27 September 2019]

I gave this episode a 9 rating for this joke alone! If you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to go back and watch the episode and see how the scene just abruptly cuts off while Dee is still talking!

These guys have ALWAYS been comedic geniuses poking fun at everything and everyone. No ONE is safe, not liberals, not conservatives, not women, not men and I'm hoping not anyone from the alphabet community but I have yet to see them poke fun at those guys. That's right, I said at those "guys". Which doesn't mean just men, it's a slang term which means people in general where I come from. So you lefty SJW's can calm down.

I can only imagine in the current political climate and social justice era we are in, we are going to get absolute comedy gold from the cast of Sunny!

Us (II) (2019)

Really? Are you kidding?

[2/10 · 28 May 2019]

Screw racism by which I mean screw any white persons opinion or any black persons opinion. I'm a BROWN person form India. No american upbringing. Having that said, I can't help but think that anyone putting THIS film up on a pedestal has something to do with propaganda.. I can honestly say I have watched hundreds of horror films with good writing/acting that have come out WAY on top over this film. I don't know what it is about Jordan.. I'm a huge fan... I watch his Key & Peele series over and over again because I think his comedic genius is amazing! But he just fails as a horror director/writer... I'm sorry Jordan. The white powers that be may find you to be interesting but I don't. Even the new twilight series fails... Please stick to comedy mate because "US" and "Get Out" just made me laugh.

Jimmy Kimmel Live!: Jimmy Kimmel Sucks (2013) Season 10, Episode 319

How the hell has this episode not been reviewed yet??

[17 May 2019]

Jut my 2 cents. THIS is what thinking outside the box gets you! This was a FANTASTIC episode! I understand that it can't be done all the time due to the schedules of the many celebrities that appeared on the show but WOW... just WOW!

I couldn't stop laughing! Seeing the actors and actresses portraying their alternate selves that loathe Jimmy Kimmel was absolutely hilarious. And dare I say, I WOULD actually watch a show where Matt Damon were the host! I'd say that this episode may backfire on Jimmy Kimmel but I'm 6 years too late because he's still doing fine!

We don't get this sort of thing with talk shows anymore and it's sad. I really wish more late night shows would do this kinda stuff and not shy away.

The Late Late Show with James Corden (2015–2023)

I don't know what to say... I'm at a loss for words

[1/10 · 9 May 2019]

CBS, is this the drivel that you expect us to watch? How in anyway did you think this would work? Does CBS actually believe that their key demographic are adolescent zombies? This show is so cringe worthy it makes me physically sick to watch it.

I gave it a try for the first couple of months when James Corden initially replaced the great Craig Ferguson in hopes it would get better, but it simply didn't. I have since stopped watching it all together. I decided to give it another go and recently watched a few episodes after 4 long years to see if the format has changed or Corden's skills as a host had improved. Sadly, it did not.

This show is best described as 40 minutes of pure wasted precious time that you will not get back in life.

The many little "filler time" pieces at the start of the show is so pointless and unamusing. To name a couple:

"None of the above" which is where Corden simply gives a scenario to an audience member with a multiple choice answer that includes "None of the above" as one of the answers but it doesn't matter because the answer is ALWAYS none of the above. First of all, fire the writer who came up with this rubbish.

"Cell phone guess" where Corden is supposed to guess who's phone belongs to one of the guests based on the content of that phone. You really think this passes for laughs or is interesting? I can see a brilliant mind like Craig Ferguson, Conan or Stephen Colbert making this work but Corden's humor is just so blah and forced and unnatural.

That being said, not everything he does is a total failure. Carpool Karaoke is a big hit. Then why not just give Corden his own Carpool Karaoke show and leave the hosting to actual people whom are capable of running a talk show.

Let's talk about Corden's actual hosting skills and interaction (or lack thereof) with his guests. He seems so disingenuous and uninterested with no back and forth witty banter between his guests which even a social 4th grader would be capable of. No relevant questions or responses to answers and once completed a question, simply moves on to the next guest in a way that is completely the opposite of being fluid. I'd describe it as a nut getting stuck in a clock mechanism that would stop time and keep you utterly bored.

It's not just the dull boring blah monologue or Corden's repulsive personality however, it's a combination and that includes the mindless repetitive music of the band as well, which by the way, I happen to be a Reggie Watts fan but even his stupid questions at the end of each show to a guest/guests is so frustratingly annoying and such a waste of time of which you can also see it on some of the guests faces where their reactions are simply one word... "why?"

Yes, Why? Why is this show even a thing?

Captain Marvel (2019)

Boring, slow, dull, obnoxious...

[2/10 · 24 April 2019]

First of, I never read the comics. I'm not a huge comic book person but I loved most of the MCU movies.

Is it the worst movie in the MCU? Probably not. But it is definitely down there with the worst. I pride myself on watching every MCU movie in the cinema, but this one I could have done with waiting for it to come out on DVD.

I went into the movie with an open mind as I knew nothing about Captain Marvel, I found it SO hard to connect with the hero from the start. She was just so arrogant and seemed to be perfect. Not at all flawed in anyway. I'm not even going to get started on the whole feminist approach to the film because that has been done to death by other reviewers.

The plot drags, the hero is unlikable even the effects are sub-par for a marvel movie. The only good things about this movie was the damn cat and Sam Jackson.

The thing is, If they kept everything the same but changed the actress (Brie Larson) they actually may have gotten away with it. Not only was her acting so unbelievable and wooden but Brie Larson herself is just VERY unlikable as a person. We all understand by now that she hates men. We get it. But don't bring your politics onto the big screen.

Definitely not worth a second viewing and definitely not worth watching in the cinema and definitely not worth buying on DVD. Borrow it from a friend when they are done with it and watch it.

And I was so looking forward to Endgame... Not anymore.

The Late Late Show with James Corden (2015–2023)

It's time to put this cow out to pasture

[1/10 · 1 May 2018]

I wanted to like James, I really did. But his replacement of veteran talk show host Craig Ferguson is absolutely the wrong choice.

Craig Ferguson mopped the floor with James Corden simply by doing what he does best on a talk show which is... talking!

Even with all the bells and whistles that Corden has put out into the show including Carpool Karaoke (which I personally hate, but people seem to love) Corden has simply not been able to make the show engaging. Segments such as "Tonight I learned" and "None of the Above" are just absolutely stupid and a complete waste of air time. He tries to engage with the audience but falls flat on his wit. I am shocked that he even has an audience that sits in those chairs and watches him.

He has ZERO rapport with his guests, does not know how to carry a conversation and he seems to think he's on a show which is a mix of American Idol and Britain's Got Talent. It is now 2018 and the show isn't getting any better. In fact, a lot of his segments seem to be rip offs of other late night show hosts. In particular, Jimmy Fallon. It seems like he's trying to hard to put the cool factor into his show. Even his sidekick/band leader, Reggie Watts can be annoying at times and I happen to be a fan of his. It's time to put this cow out to pasture. CBS. Cut your losses and wrap it up.

Suicide Squad: Hell to Pay (2018 Video)

Need more Rated R DC Animated movies like this!

[8/10 · 26 April 2018]

Wow, just wow. Amazing, absolutely amazing. Everything from the voice acting, character development, plot, animation, soundtrack. Everything was just spot on and blew me away. Haven't seen a comic based animated film like this in a LONG time. Where DC fails in their cinematic movies, they more than make up for in their VOD/Straight to Blu-Ray animated films.

I'm especially happy that they made this for an older audience. I'd so much as to say it even beats the pathetic PG-13 Suicide Squad movie with Will Smith!

Watch this movie without knowing much or anything about it and I promise you, you will be pleasantly surprised.

The Walking Dead (2010–2022)

The Walking Dead is Dead

[1/10 · 18 April 2018]

I first rated this show a 9. I've now re-rated it down to a 1. I'm done with this show. Everything that made it exceptional at the first three seasons is gone. There is nothing left. I'm not just talking about the story-line although that has a lot to do with it, but the acting and dialogue as well. I used to have a passion for watching the walking dead, never missing the next episode. That's all long gone. In fact, I'm on episode 13 of season 8 and I still have another 3 episodes to go before the season finale and I can't be bothered. From here on out it's all just fodder. Characters have become stale, acting has become abysmal, story-line has become utterly boring, direction may as well be if a monkey were behind the camera. From here on out, this should be called "The STALE dead". So unfortunate, because many shows have lasted much longer keeping its audience captivated with great acting and amazing story-lines even through 8 seasons. The Walking Dead had lost its edge after season 3 to be quite honest, maybe pushing it to season 4. But the latest season (currently season 8 at the time of this review), without a doubt is the worst season. Mind you, not due to the charismatic charm of Jeffrey Dean Morgan, whom is the only reason I continue to watch the show. Drastic changes such as certain main characters deaths aren't going to do much (for those of you watching know who I'm talking about) you'll need to do MUCH more. Bring it back to old skool. This isn't going to fly.