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Five Nights at Freddy's (2023)
It's not horror, it's not accurate.
Who was this movie for?
Clearly the market was kids, because it's a PG-13 film, but there are plenty of pg-13 movies creepier than this.
It's not meant for fans of the lore. It barely follows the speculative story of the franchise, or the vibe of the games whatsoever.
What could be a creepy film with huge, intimidating robots stalking you through dark hallways, threatening to literally crush you into paste as you're stuffed into a robotic suit; turned into the worst thing you could be in movies. Boring.
You lay out all of the "important" things hat happen in this plot, and it can be summed up in a about five sentences. It was WAY longer than it needed to be, for what little actually happens.
The only reason this is getting a 3 is because the set design and look of the animatronics is spot-on; besides the way they're animated. I feel like making them more stiff and robotic would have been a benefit to making them scarier. Everything else, characters, horror, plot, pacing, was sub-par.
Dragon's Dogma (2020)
An okay show at best, but not an honest adaptation.
I'll preface by saying I'm a huge fan of the game, and I cannot help but approach the show in a manner that reflects that bias.
Dragon's Dogma, the game that is, is classical kind of fantasy. Adventurer's home is besieged by a dragon, he goes on a mission to slay it and many more monsters along the way, save his love, etc. Kind of boiler plate plot wise but lifted up by some interesting characters, fantastic dialogue, cool lore, and second to none gameplay.
When I heard of the show I was... skeptical, but hopeful that they could capture the mostly upbeat action romp adventure the game was.
I was disappointed in that way. Besides the titular Dragon, there were absolutely 0 characters which made it to the show from the game. The Netflix adaptation of Dragon's Dogma takes itself far too seriously. Where there were once silly asides of being paraded around in a jester's cap, there's now a protagonist fueled by rage and brooding. In all honesty Ethan seems like the sort of character a 15 year old would role play in his D&D game. I know because I did the same thing. With such little resemblance it's a wonder why it bares the same name at all, it may as well just be called "Dragon Slayer."
For a show with several seasons planned apparently it also has a serious problem of telling, not showing, it's plot to you. Ethan's tragic backstory eluded to in a couple of glimpses but is ultimately told to the audience by some unnamed kids. The show attempts to provide an ending to the first season with some kind of philosophical malarkey about 'human nature' and the various sins for which the episodes are named after, but it comes across as extraordinarily forced and just plain nonsensical.
More minor complaints include the fact than several monster's models, including the dragon itself, are not textured very well at all. In fact they may have looked better just being copied and pasted from the game itself. Lighting is lacking, and many animations are stiff and floaty, very much unlike other cg animations like Beastars.
Unfortunately it turned out to be a show based on a great story, but not capturing the spirit of it at all, and I can't imagine people seeing it as anything more than your average power-fantasy.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
They didn't have a plan, and it shows.
Let me start with the positives.
The actors did well for the nonsense they were handed. Although a lot of plotlines and exposition didn't make sense, they at least delivered the lines with confidence and emotion.
The special effects are stunning. When you're not laughing at how utterly ridiculous what's going on is, the visual fidelity is great.
And that's about it for positives.
Good acting and visuals does not a good movie make.
For the people rating this above average (7 or more) but can't state exactly why its that good besides "it's not as bad as the fans say," yall need to change that to a 5. At least.
This movie may be the biggest backpedal in cinema history. From scene 1, things are moving at such a pace that i thought i was going to get whiplash when act 2 hit. The opening crawl tries to prepare you for the metric ton of exposition and contrivence they'' be throwing at you. '"Why so much? Isn't it tupposed to be the conclusion?" you may ask.
Well, that's because they decided to completely dump nearly ALL of the suppodting cast in favor of new ones the fans don't hate. Bad news, now we arent attatched to the new faces, so we feel very little when theyre in danger. They take time to try and force these new characters into your face, when they SHOULD be focusing on resolving the arcs of our main cast. Speaking of which, have even less to do in this movie.
The action scenes are a bloated mess, and utterly ridiculous, to a point where ewoks overcoming an empire army is more believable. Villian motivations are shoehorned in to make it seem like "Bwahaha this was my plan the WHOLE TIME!" Plot elements introduces in previosu films are brushed away for the convenience of this story....
I guarantee. If you were to watch all three of the new trilogy in a row, Rise of Skywalker would feel like a fever dream. They're banking on the average viewer to have forgotten things from the last two, and hoping they won't notice the gaping leaps in logic it takes to shuffle together this plot.
Game of Thrones: The Bells (2019)
Disappointing on all Levels
I made an IMDB account to review this episode solely. THAT'S how much it hurt me.
SO many dropped plot lines. So many pointless scenes. Cutting away from the most compelling scene in the episode. Characters turning on a dime to suit the directors absolutely abysmal writing. Characters forgetting how to fight, and others forgetting what was mentioned in conversations not 10 minutes before then in the episode. It doesn't ruin the rest of the series for me, but this was a lazy and conceited way to end so many characters we've come to know all for the sake of "subverting expectations."
The general movie-going public doesn't think about what they watch very much. They watch for the spectacle. They rate trash writing as 5/10 at least. "Meh, i don't like it. 5/10" I want to fight the general movie-going public.