Change Your Image
JohnFontaine
Reviews
Bandidas (2006)
Thelma & Louise as a Great Comedy
I enjoyed this movie, and got several belly laughs out of it. I have to wonder if many the disparaging remarks regarding this film are politically motivated, as the villain and his accomplices are an American, and the Heroines and Good Guys are Mexican.
So if the reader happens to be a reactionary, he or she may want to pass on this film. Otherwise, it is sexy, funny and action-packed.
It would also be a crime worse than robbing a bank if a sequel isn't made. Perhaps the setting could be brought up to the present, with Penelope Cruz's and Salma Hayek's characters being Mexican Biker babes who are descendants of Maria and Sara. Dwight Yoakam could semi-reprise his role of Jackson by playing a Biker heavy. Of course, Steve Zahn would make a fantastic rogue FBI ( INS? ) agent. Maybe this film could even touch on the subject of illegal immigration, with Salma and Penelope's characters aiding the immigrants. Just to rile Reactionary viewers.
John Bryans Fontaine
Little Black Book (2004)
The Best Parody of Television since 'Network'
The pay-off of this film isn't the Heroine's happy ending, nor the clever techie twist of having a Palm Pilot at the center of the film ( Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of a Palm Pilot? ) But it is rather the climax, which gives the viewers the savaging of reality television which the genre desperately needs. This is the most satisfying skewering of the medium since 'Network'. It is unfortunate that the movie briefly falls into its own clichés with the usual Obligatory Toilet Scene. On the other hand, Helen Hunt's surprise evil turn is far better the the anticipated one of Dearth Vader. And the actress transmogrifies without the aid of any C.G.I.'s. Using Carly Simon's songs was a great idea as well. But the bombardment which they hit the daytime reality shows is equal to Network's foretelling of today's TV. Maybe in the sequel they might bring in Faye Dunaway.
The Contender (2000)
Solid performances and writing marred by PC
The best performance Jeff Bridges has made: archtypically entertaining. He steals the show and his President Evens' hip drollness makes his 'Fabulous Baker Boys' character look like a nerd. But everyone in the movie easily earns their paychecks. The plot and writing are also engrossing.
Then there's the politics.
The writer's evangelical atheism and doctrinaire PC gets very old very quick. It's even more comical when Allen's atheist, ban-all-guns, make-selling-cigarettes-to-minors-a-felony(!) Laine Hanson describes herself as a moderate. Her sanctimonious speech was deafening in its secular humanism. And that's a Liberal's opinion. In addition, the demonizing of Republicans and Conservatives is embarrassing. While I oppose the Moral Imperialism of the Righties in this film, the Good Guys and Gal's opposition of it is ham-handed. Bridges still gets my vote, though. Someday, he may be our only hope against Ahn-nold.
The Wicker Man (1973)
Weirdo-Commie-Space-Alien kinda film
Rocky Horror Show which takes itself seriously. Early - seventies values were immoral, even to this Liberal. And trying to make this film into a musical?! Very early-seventies. Very loopy.
The Soldier (1982)
Viewer Beware
Although the actors did a professional, best-that-they-could job with "The Soldier", we are asked to believe that, given the circumstances, the United States would launch a nuclear attack against Israel. Added to this insult to both intelligence and patriotism is the concept that US Armed Forces would transport nuclear material with only two, count 'em, two LTD's as escorts. Ofcourse, if you're ready to believe that, then you'll have no trouble with the ( only ) three men it takes to highjack the plutonium. Then again, it only takes the same amount of guys to - get this - sneak into an Air Force missile base and commandeer a missile silo. Not to worry, though, they're on our side and they are aiming the mega - death at Moscow. Given the anti - American sentiment of the film, it's amazing that they're not pointing the ICBM at the Rose Garden.
In fact, the producers again and again seem to see the US as either brain - dead or totally amoral, though the former attempt a visual disclaimer by having the hero and heroine wind up at the Statue of Liberty. The real heroes, the Twin Towers, stand painfully in the background.
A positive note, though: the producers did have the good taste to include a Porsche Turbo. However, in another hole big enough to drive a semi through, the Porsche isn't able to outrun a Jeep!
Perhaps, the producers were aiming for some kind avant - garde satire, for
add to all this a Jewish interrogator - dominatrix. Gotta be an avant - garde satire. If only they could have afforded Woody Allen.
Invasion U.S.A. (1985)
Whole lot better than Red Dawn
Norris was great. But what really got me angry to see his opponents get theirs is when they injured Chuck's pet armadillo. I took one look at that image and screamed: DIE - COMMIE B******S - DIE!!!
And hey, I'm a liberal.
But don't worry fellow Americans - Norris makes very sure that critter is avenged!