onepict Reviews

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One (2023)

The Scientology Sequel

[4/10 · 24 February 2024]

The script is just awful. All full of portentous,doom-laden, pseudo- biblical nonsense and I think the "entity" is talked about around a 100 times. 99 times too many to keep a straight face. No matter how one enjoys the production, the scenery, the score, the script is just far too silly for words. Everyone has to work with terrible dialogue and I have no idea why so much screen time is given to Haley Atwell. She's just an ordinary bit part player and not one tenth of one percent of the charisma and character of Rebecca Ferguson. I found Atwell to be silly and superficial and not up to the calibre of the usual cast. And oh my heavens, this is script that should have died in writers 101, it's just ....dead. I felt sorry for the actors having to spew such semi literate drivel. I would rate this as the worst MI movie, such a shame and a disappointment.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

Worth watching for Mads Mikkelsen

[6/10 · 16 December 2023]

Mads Mikkelsen is simply outstanding in this film and frankly saves it from being a rather boring movie. He is electric and every moment he is on the screen he adds drama and power and momentum to the movie. Unfortunately, we have to endure the toxic and highly unpleasant Phoebe Waller-Bridge who gives strong women a bad name simply by being the female equivalent of the annoying Shia LeBeouf. I have no idea why the powers that be thought it was a good idea to hire someone so lacking in personality and audience appeal and one can only hope she has a bright career in script writing ahead. I found myself fast forwarding through her scenes just to avoid enduring her awful acting, mannerisms and obnoxious personality Overall, perhaps I should have rated this a 7 as I did get to the end of the movie. And kudos to Harrison Ford, of course I enjoyed all his scenes and the quintessential Indy bravado. Between Mads Mikkelsen and Harrison Ford (and a far too short appearance by Antonio Banderas) this is a movie worth watching. But please can writers/directors take heed and cast likeable characters - unlike the highly unpleasant and tiresome Waller-Bridge who I am confident has huge appeal for upper class Englishmen and women. But there's a whole world out there that really doesn't like obnoxious Margaret Thatchers types.

Plane (2023)

Fly Scottish and survive!

[9/10 · 27 October 2023]

OK I must admit I started watching this movie with fairly low expectations and found myself absolutely enthralled with the moment to moment action, suspense and brilliant performance by Gerard Butler - hope there will be a follow up with same team. Loved the fact that ex-Seals were hired. Loved the supporting performances, and didn't give a toss about whether this or that aspect of the movie didn't comply with airline protocols. Kudos to the director and production team. All I know is that I enjoyed every minute of this movie, didn't expect such fun and OMG lots of eye candy. Hope there is a sequel in the works.

Bodies (2023)

Please rehire these scriptwriters and cast again!

[10/10 · 23 October 2023]

What a spellbinding, compelling, bewitching (ok it's so close to Hallowe'en I couldn't resist) series. I simply loved the script, the cast, the story line, the irresistible and seamless moves between past, present and future. Wow. Each and every episode had me wondering what was coming next (instead of doing my usual annoying habit of anticipating the dialogue) and I loved the casting of the Whitechapel detectives from four time periods. Nice anticipation of a "United Britain" (yeah, no monarchy, that's a lovely touch :)) that has fallen to the far right. I do hope Netflix finds future work for everyone involved in this production, especially the scriptwriters and showrunners.

Saints and Sinners: Britain's Millennium of Monasteries (2015– )

Substitute "Britain" for England and it's fine

[1/10 · 12 October 2023]

Good lord, what historian could possibly provide so much information with so little accuracy. Why is she talking about Britain, which didn't exist? Still doesn't really. With a passing mention of the island of Iona and no references to Northern Ireland, I would sincerely wish this "historian" actually get a geography lesson. It might make her presentations more tolerable as several million Scottish and Irish viewers simply wince through this English and anglo centric view. Call it what it is - England - or is she ashamed or embarrassed to call it England? None of the Kings she mentioned were Kings of Scotland and all the abbeys and monasteries she talks about are...English. Please for the sake of historians try just a little bit to be historically accurate and not such BBC propaganda for a false Britain. King David I of SCOTLAND founded the great border abbeys of Melrose (where Bruce's heart resides), Jedburgh, Kelso etc etc and not even a mention ...shameful. Might have mentioned the various English Kings that despoiled Scottish abbeys from the 12th century forward....

The Gold (2023–2024)

Compelling drama, superb script and outstanding acting

[9/10 · 27 September 2023]

It took at least the first episode for me to be drawn in, but by the end I was hooked. The quality of each and every acting performance (in particular the charismatic and compelling Jack Lowden, Dominic Cooper, Emun Elliot, Sean Harris (I'll watch him in everything) and Charlotte Spencer) just drew me in. What a difference it makes to the viewer to enjoy an intelligent script with exquisite performances pretty much every minute in each episode. I ended up staying hooked all the way to the end until 6am and I can't recall doing that for years. How the actors must have enjoyed this series. I honestly don't care how accurate it is historically, because this is drama, it's conflict, and it's powerful stuff with provocative dialogue that makes you think. What a tour de force.

Secret Invasion (2023)

Ugh. So boring and what a waste of a cast

[1/10 · 28 June 2023]

Why does everything look as though it was filmed on a set stage in Toronto? Why are the sets so bad? Does anyone really think this looks like Moscow? Why does Olivia Coleman only play Olivia Coleman? Why is this script so truly, awfully, horrendously bad?

I cannot blame the actors, they can only work with what they have, but the script and the scenarios are so predictable that we were all "writing" the next words and scenes in our heads. And we really just had to question why so much money was spent on a talented cast, when they really needed to spend the money on a decent and interesting script. It's so slow, it is so predictable, it is actually just...boring. Was this prepared during the strike?

Royal History's Biggest Fibs with Lucy Worsley (2020– )

Superb reveal of how past (and current) historiographers have been propagandists

[9/10 · 28 April 2023]

I admit as a Scot, and as a retired history teacher and college lecturer, I generally dislike so called historians on every channel over here who really just repeat old propaganda and as a result we ended up with a distorted view of our own history and of course the economic disaster known as Brexit.

To my delight, however, Lucy Worsley has single handedly (she is in the minority of English historians) taken on the propaganda and actually presented a fascinating and compelling story of royal history's biggest fibs. She is a superb presenter and takes the time to introduce other historians who tell the really story as it is, or rather was.

I really hope this series continues because I can't tell you how refreshing it is to enjoy a history series on television without wincing or groaning (and the occasional yelp). I would have scored a 10 if the episodes were longer and there were more of them...

The Hanging Sun (2022)

Mesmerising cast, superb editing and cinematography

[9/10 · 21 January 2023]

I could have watched every cast member for twice the amount of time they were onscreen. Perfect casting, perfect pitch, and oh my god the constant sense of menace and moody set pieces. Loved every moment of it, and I'd love to see a follow up with the surviving cast members. The camera loved every angle of every shot in this film and it was a true pleasure to view. Thanks to everyone who made this intelligent and beautiful film possible. Apparently I have to write more in order for this review to be submitted, so shout outs to Peter Mullan and Charles Dance though I have to say I loved the two leads and hope to see them act together again.

Caesar's Doomsday War (2021–2022)

Overall, well done, but undone by dubbing French archaeologists

[6/10 · 7 May 2022]

I thoroughly enjoyed the presentation, but could not but be surprised that every French archaeologist and historian is not permitted to speak French with the usual subtitles presented in English. Instead, every French speaker is dubbed by a different and very posh, plummy Oxford English accent. Given that the very topic of the documentary is Caesar's imperial ambitions for the empire and attitude to "barbarian" Gauls in France, it seems a tad ironic. Would have much preferred to listen to the French experts in French, and as needed reading subtitles in English.

The Ipcress File (2022)

Undone by casting Tintin as the lead

[4/10 · 7 March 2022]

I can only compare this to the superb performance of Jonas Nay, the lead of the Deutschland 83 trilogy, who held the screen with a mesmerising presence, despite his youth and the ease with which he seamlessly remained hidden, underestimated and anonymous. By contrast, Joe Cole is just hideously miscast, the other cast can barely hold the series together, but it doesn't work without a lead that can carry the story forward. The script is dull, odd and downright boring. Clearly spent more on the costumes and the occasional period car than on the script. (And of course, it has the ubiquitous evil Scot as one of the bad guys.... In all these English movies/tv series, the Scottish/Irish/Welsh villain is becoming a drinking game.)

The Almighty Johnsons (2011–2013)

Ruined by endless sexism

[5/10 · 22 September 2021]

Thought this had been filmed in the 70s, it's so outdated and barely five minutes go by without some crude sexist remark. I'd definitely not want to be a woman (or a girl growing up) in New Zealand if this is what the men are like. Has it's fun moments, solid acting, but I totally cringe at the terrible way the men talk about and to the women in the show.

Ophelia (I) (2018)

All 5 points for Naomi Watts, Clive Owen and Daisy Head

[5/10 · 16 August 2021]

It only took minutes to realise the horrendous miscasting of a wooden puppet, Daisy Ridley, as Ophelia. I managed to count three facial expressions during the movie. By contrast, the luminous versatility of Naomi Watts, her aching emotions evinced by the most simple of facial expressions, is a reason to watch the movie. Kudos to Clive Owen and Daisy Head, and if you want to look at acting, just look at Naomi Watts, Clive Owen and Daisy Head, who are truly actors. I don't know much about Daisy Ridley but there must be a good sci fi movie out there looking to cast a robot? (No insult to fine actresses like Vikander who have played robots). Truly painful to watch what could have been a fine role wasted on a wooden puppet, and no, opening one's mouth every so often does not count as emotion.

The Michelangelo Code: Lost Secrets of the Sistine Chapel (2008 TV Movie)

Ruined by scenes of (real life) gun violence

[1/10 · 4 August 2021]

I looked forward to watching this, to discover that the opening (and subsequent scenes) show live footage from the FBI violent raid on Waco Texas. It was intolerable and the connections made by the host could easily - repeat easily - have been made without subjecting the unsuspecting viewer to shocking scenes of gun violence.

How I Became a Super Hero (2020)

Thoroughly enjoyable

[8/10 · 11 July 2021]

And it's a bonus that my French continues to improve as I am entertained by more and more interesting French movies. Interesting characters and plot line, I enjoyed following different story lines and solid production values. Let's hope we see a lot more of these "real" characters that seem more down to earth in a strange but familiar Parisian world.

Major Grom: Plague Doctor (2021)

Thoroughly entertaining and a visual delight

[8/10 · 9 July 2021]

OK it helps tremendously that the casting is ideal, but after a surfeit of Marvel and Disney movies, I have to say I enjoyed every minute of this movie. Good on Russia and I do hope Netflix picks up more of the same. Interesting characters, new faces (of course!) great settings and not a bad plot. And Igor Gromov is so very easy on the eyes and a lot more fun to watch than a plastic, sour plum Batman. Never seen so many great cheekbones in one movie.

Les Ombres Rouges (2019)

Absorbing French crime drama

[9/10 · 23 December 2020]

After suffering through Riviera, I then detoxed myself with solid nordic noir, then tartan noir and happily happened upon Les Ombres Rouges. Loved it, truly great characters, solid acting, terrific cinematography (not that I can really tell, but I hate those jumping cameras, and at last was able to enjoy the show without a migraine attack). Good script, well performed by the cast and of course I adore the French accents and language. Don't understand the negative reviews, perhaps Anglo Saxon dyspepsia, but as a Scot, I just loved this series!

Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (2020)

Grandkids (7,5) absolutely loved this fabulous festive musical

[10/10 · 17 November 2020]

They're boys, so generally immune to musicals, or so I thought. But they watched every minute of this spectacular holiday movie. A treat for every single sense, eye popping colours, award worthy costumes, and what incredible voices! We all loved every minute and this will become a holiday favourite. Witty dialogue, sweet messaging, what's not to love? Thanks for creating a movie for the entire family, albeit Granny is now inundated with requests for a Buddy robot...

The Great British Baking Show (2010– )

Boring, best thing about the show is the bunting

[1/10 · 15 November 2020]

Actually it was hard to pay attention to anything else, as the newly designed St George's Cross bunting kept catching the eyes. Great flag design, but takes away from the baking.

The Holiday (2006)

Tedious and painfully unfunny

[2/10 · 11 November 2020]

An atrocious script that's so bad even good actors can't salvage it, cliches that pile on cliches, how on earth does this movie achieve such a positive rating? No chemistry between the cast, no story that makes any coherent sense, it's just a horrible mess. And what is funny about someone drinking half a bottle of wine in a store before driving back on a narrow 2-lane road when the driver has never driven on the left side of the road in a borrowed car? I'm happy to enjoy a holiday fantasy but that typified this car crash of a movie.

Timeline (2003)

Thoroughly enjoyable time travel adventure

[8/10 · 25 September 2020]

Gerard Butler looks great as a 14th century warrior, plus the whole idea of going back in time to the hundred years war between the English and the French over French territory is fun. Even more amusing of course (to a Scot like myself) is the side dialogue regarding the role of the Scots (like Butler and Billy Connelly of course) which plays different ways during the course of the movie. For all those obsessed with book/movie comparisons, I totally enjoyed both creative endeavours!

Cursed (2020)

Show grows with each episode, last two are humdingers!

[9/10 · 30 August 2020]

I was going to give an 8, but the last two episodes were so good, I added another point. I agree with other reviewers to give it a chance and let it grow on you. There are fresh faces, new talent and new ideas. Plus, it's actually filmed in UK locations by alternating female and male directors. (Likely why there's no obligatory disrobe and strip scenes.) It's not perfect, a few shaky performances, but it's highly entertaining to watch. Outstanding and compelling performances by Gustav Skarsgard (Merlin) - one of the 6 or so 6'4" Skarsgard brothers - Peter Mullan (Carden), Lily Newmark (Pym), Clive Russell (Wroth), Polly Walker (Lady Lunete doing an Atia) and Daniel Sharman who gave it their all. Devon Terrell (Arthur) grew in strength and assurance with each episode and by episode 9, had me convinced. And for all those who wanted a white washed fictional universe, I guess they wanted to watch a "real" historical production and not a fantasy mythical world? Folk do know that the fae don't exist, right? The "real" Arthur was Welsh anyway, and a celt who fought against the invading Anglo-Saxon invaders from Germany who conquered England (but not Scotland, Ireland or Wales). So the so-called "English lore" is a total myth anyway, just like Robin Hood. All I know is that I like seeing fresh faces, new interpretations and creative characterisations. As "Hamilton" has taught us, history should be open to new interpretations (unless we just stick with Bede and be done) and Cursed is a fantasy world exploring not history, but myths and legends. Well done and I really hope those actors I named make it back to Season 2!

The Sleepover (2020)

Well written family comedy

[8/10 · 26 August 2020]

I freely admit this is not my usual movie (prefer dark ages historical battle adventures) but due to lockdown, this looked ok to try. And honestly, I don't understand the really negative reviews. It's well scripted, well cast and yes, the young kid Kevin is fun to watch (though not nearly as inventive or as infuriating as my son at that age) as is the family dynamic. Nice messaging (especially the seat belt rules) and an unexpected delight. Biggest negative for me was the Ron character who got far too much screen time. But go in as I did with really no expectations and just enjoy it.

Sword of Vengeance (2015)

Underrated. Loved the performances, bleak landscape of the dark ages

[7/10 · 3 August 2020]

Let's face it, how many movies can you think of that focus on the Harrowing of the North, when William the Conqueror committed genocide in northern England for two years to suppress the Saxon uprisings? (OK, so they were both invaders but that's a different story.) Stanley Weber's performance has the intensity of Fassbender, he's worth watching the whole movie. If you like the Last Kingdom, the Witcher, the Vikings, you might want to take a look at this. Yes, it's a simple plot but who cares when the camera loves the actors? Reminded me of Mads Mikkelson in Valhalla Rising.

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)

Couldn't stop smiling at the happy madness of it all

[9/10 · 12 July 2020]

Admit I'm not a Will Ferrell fan at all, his movies are all about him, but in this movie, Rachel Adams and Dan Stevens are a revelation of singing and comic talent. SO many great faces from the Eurovision Song Contest as well as cast members from the Witcher, The Norsemen etc. I realised by the time of the Eurovision party singalong that I was laughing out loud. The costumes, the dancing, are all insanely inspired. And as an Edinburgh native, thank you for filming here in Edinburgh! As I frequently direct Americans to the nearest Starbucks, thanks for the laugh out loud asides. Now time to put on my Icelandic elf slippers from my second favourite country in the world, and watch it again.