roythedog Reviews

Freddy Got Fingered (2001)

I was wrong about disaster movie being the worst movie

[10/10 · 26 May 2024]

This easily the worst movie ever made in the history of humanity. Obviously there are low budget or just painfully awful movies that to some are objectively worse like the Emoji Movie but this movie is just pure demented horrifying nonsense.

Now why am I rating it 10 out of 10 if I hated this movie so much you may ask? Well like it or not, Tom Green got what he wanted. There's two kinds of bad movies, the intentionally bad and the unintentionally bad. This and disaster movie are the former the Emoji movie is the latter.

To Tom Green's credit he was able to achieve his vision with this shock shtick nightmare with every single kind of painful, awful, and offensive humor possible. I think this film should be appreciated for what it is, the truly awful shock project it was meant to be. It did what modern audiences would call "troll humor" before that was even really a thing.

So yes I hated this flaming dumpster fire of a movie. But despite the hate, I still think it deserves recognition for achieving it's goals.

The Emoji Movie (2017)

The worst animated movie ever made.

[1/10 · 21 April 2024]

Let me sum this up bluntly. The only reason and I mean the only reason why I personally hate Foodfight more than this movie is because at least this movie didn't dump on the legacy of one of my family members (I'm a great great grandson of the guy who founded Vlasic pickles.)

Now for a more detailed thrashing. A pretty common plot formula in animated films is objects and animals becoming personified and anthropomorphized. This obviously was originated by one of the most groundbreaking and best movie franchises of all time Toy Story.

There are plenty of knock offs who try to capitalize on the milestones that Toy Story created. Not all are bad like for example Sausage Party creates it's own niche in the genre and was a great adult animated comedy. You know what's one of the main things that made Toy Story and Sausage Party great? There were no product placements.

They didn't sell out to corporate pandering, they created their own thing. In the Emoji movie, it's literally one gigantic product placement.

Any chance that the emoji movie had at succeeding in this genre was killed by the incessant product placements, the adult innuendos in what is supposed to be a kids' family, and the fact that the movie directly insults it's own audience.

This movie is the epitome of an epic fail and set back the personified/anthropomorphized genre of animated films back by a lot. Now could they have done something with this plot? Yeah they probably could have. The main character screws up, dooms their world, and must find a way to save it before it's too late to do so.

Not a bad plot but they couldn't make any interesting, relatable, or memorable characters, they used an obscene amount of product placements and innuendos, insulted the audience, and more.

This movie fails with kids, with adults, with everyone. Do not watch it.

Contagion (2011)

My favorite type of disaster movie

[10/10 · 21 April 2024]

This movie reminds me of my favorite disaster movie, Deep Impact. I think a lot of the lower ratings for it same with the lower ratings for this movie come from people who came expecting a lot of drama, over the top sequences, and other unrealistic stuff like that.

I greatly enjoy how this movie just like Deep Impact kept the focus of the movie on the disaster and portrayed multiple points of view on it through an ensemble cast of actors representing various perspectives on the disaster. Like in this movie you have the director of the CDC being thrust head on into the greatest public health crisis of his career and having to balance the unimaginable demands of the job with his own personal life, you have the everyman who loses several family members and is just trying to get through the disaster, you have the opportunistic conspiracy wacko who sells quack cures and doesn't care what happens, etc.

All the actors in this movie gave unforgettable and great performances to the point that you can almost forget you're watching actors with name recognition on the screen. All of them were perfectly chosen for their roles.

If you enjoy scientific accuracy without drama, then this movie is for you. If you're looking for drama, look elsewhere.

Do the Right Thing (1989)

Would've been better as a short film

[7/10 · 21 April 2024]

I don't know how to properly write fully what I want to say here. The scenes that wikipedia says make up the plot of the movie including the riot scene which is one of the most powerful and tearjerking movie scenes of all time, probably take up less than 30 minutes.

A significant amount of this movie is just pure filler. Now the scenes that actually contribute to the plot are really good. You can feel the growing tension between Mookie and the other denizens of the area and the pizza shop family. The movie gives a powerful message about racial justice and does not shy away from explicit depictions of police brutality and misconduct.

It would've been a lot more powerful if we didn't get a scene that is literally around 3 minutes of random characters breaking the 4th wall to shout racial slurs and way too much filler and subplots that have nothing to do with the message of the movie itself.

I actually skipped the filler and just watched the actual plot point scenes of the movie. It would've been better and far more powerful if it was just the important scenes.

Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey (2023)

One of the worst movies of all time

[1/10 · 13 January 2024]

I'm a lifelong Winnie the pooh fan, raised by a Winnie the pooh superfan father, some of my earliest memories are playing educational Winnie the pooh video games, watching animated Winnie the pooh movies, and watching the new adventures of Winnie the pooh. Now, I enjoy messed up poor taste parodies of things. I can laugh at and enjoy parodies of things I love, my main issue with this movie isn't that it's a messed up parody of Winnie the pooh, my issue is that it's a bad movie.

Now the best parts of this movie by far are the animated segments, those are actually scary and reasonably ok acted. This movie would've been better going with that animation for the entire movie instead we get a mostly live action movie. First off the acting is horrible. Some of the worst acting I've ever seen in any movie ever.

Again this movie would've been so much better as a mostly silent animated film like the animated segments but instead we get a mostly live action movie with horrible acting, no real plot, or anything of substance. I couldn't even sit through it. Don't recommend at all.

Also another reason why I say it should've been animated is it's obvious Pooh and Piglet are human actors wearing crude masks and clothes not anthropomorphic creatures which obviously breaks any immersion. Another reason why this would've been better off fully animated especially in the style of animation at the beginning which were the scariest parts of this movie.

Good Burger (1997)

One of the greatest movies of all time

[10/10 · 30 November 2023]

I truly do believe this is one of the greatest movies of all time. Usually movies that have themes like this one has like juvenile humor, randomness, pop culture references, and a silly cliché story, are not very good. However, this movie managed to do it right. This movies is from another time, Nickelodeon's golden age. This was before cartoon network came along to dethrone Nickelodeon as the leading well cartoon network and Nickelodeon was forced to rely on Spongebob and Dan Schneider and then just rely on Spongebob.

What sets this movie apart from a lot of other juvenile silly movies is the characters and the acting. You can tell the actors are trying and taking their roles seriously. Kenan Thompson is a very good actor, he portrayed the transformation of Dexter Reed from a selfish and dishonest jerk to a likable and honest character. Plus He and Kel (who plays the loveable and dimwitted other main character Ed) have great on screen chemistry.

Ed is another example of a character done right. Usually media portraying a mentally challenged character will portray them as offensively over the top and stereotypical or have them be some kind of comic relief. Instead Kel gave a funny, realistic, and genuine performance as Ed. As someone with a mental disability myself, I genuinely enjoyed Kel's performance.

The main villain Kurt is definitely pretty much an overacted silly live action cartoon villain but he ends up being the perfect foil for our main characters and delivers an enjoyable performance. Usually, villains with no redeeming qualities or personality or whose plans really aren't excessively evil are boring or dull down a movie but Kurt is anything other than boring. It's hard to make a villain with no fleshed out personality enjoyable yet Kurt was.

I also loved the side characters, Abe Vigoda showed off his silly side, that was very enjoyable to watch from him. Dan Schneider and Sinbad also gave great performances as the restaurant manager and teacher respectively.

Overall, a truly great movie that does things that usually makes movies bad and instead makes them good through memorable, likeable, and interesting characters.

iCarly (2021–2023)

A case study of why and how woke can destroy beloved intellectual properties

[1/10 · 24 November 2023]

I'm just going to be blunt here, this revival was a complete insult to everything that made the original iCarly great. I'm 25 years old and was in the target demographic for the original iCarly when it was on and I loved to watch it. It was my favorite show and I've seen every episode. I could barely slog through 2 episodes of this awful revival.

What made the original iCarly magical and such a good show was it was like Seinfeld for Gen Z when the older gen z people like myself were in the 12 - 16 age bracket. Even now, it would hold up to kids currently in that demographic because it covered issues that every generation of teens and tweens have had to and will have to deal with such as dating and relationships, bad parents, bad teachers, bullying, peer and social pressure, and friendship troubles. It handled these topics in a way that tweens and teens would understand and relate to with a cast of likable, relatable, and interesting characters and this revival destroyed it all.

Freddie went from being an Awkward but still optimistic and intelligent tech genius to a hollow sad sack, Spencer went from being the goofy and eccentric comic relief but sometimes voice of reason to your standard arrogant rich guy, etc. It should tell you something that Jeanette McCurdy and Noah Munck refused to reprise their roles from the original show.

The new characters are insufferable especially Millicent who just seems like she is a horribly negative gen alpha stereotype that talks down to people in her generation. However, the number 1 issue by far with this revival is it is too political. The original iCarly never dealt with politics. This revival feels like an old man thought that extreme wokeness for the sake of wokeness was what appealed to the under 30 demographic. Harper isn't as annoying as Millicent and in fact she is a pretty likable character but she does not play well at all with the other returning characters, she is not capable of being like Sam.

Carly and Freddie played the straight man to Sam's pushy, aggressive, but still lighthearted and loyal character. There is no similar dynamic in this revival with the characters. It's one thing to have a diverse cast in a series, it is another to completely change the personalities of the characters and shove a diverse cast of new ones in there that have nothing new to bring to the table nor ability to gel well with the returning cast. So they're just there to be there. No creativity whatsoever, no magic whatsoever, just a shameless attempt to desperately pander to the gen z who liked the original iCarly.

Nickelodeon, we get it, you want your network to stop subsisting solely on beating the long dead horse that is Spongebob but there is a better way to do it than fumbling a revival of one of your best shows. Dan Scheinder is gone (rightfully so,) you can't capture the lightening in a bottle like he did.

Hart's War (2002)

This movie is way better than it has any right to be

[10/10 · 24 October 2023]

I'm a history buff in real life and I love these types of war movies. I was expecting to be a bit bored when I decided to sit down and watch this but boy was I wrong. This is one of the greatest war movies I've ever seen. Also for 2002, the cinematography is so beautiful. Now the trailer and name of this movie were pretty misleading, as the actual main plot of this movie follows a courtroom drama to cover up and distract from a sabotage mission. It also mostly takes place in a POW camp.

I absolutely love the uniforms the characters in the movie are wearing, they're historically accurate. It's a lot easier than you'd think to take Bruce Willis and Collin Farrell seriously as World War 2 soldiers. Also while this movie does have subplots and filler, unlike a lot of other movies with that, this one actually managed to make the subplots and filler interesting and not boring.

Overall, a really good World War 2 courtroom drama film, it's way better than it really has any right to be.

Logan's Run (1976)

The most boring movie I have ever seen

[4/10 · 21 October 2023]

I'm a sucker for post apocalyptic sci fi. So I figured I'd give this movie a chance. I'm 25 years old so way out of the demographic that would've watched this movie when it was new but I still felt like given my penchant for post apocalyptic sci fi that I'd like this movie.

First off, it's so dreadfully boring that I actually had to skip certain parts because of how much filler is in it. I bet if you removed all the filler and only left what Wikipedia actually says the plot of this movie is, it wouldn't even take up 60 minutes.

Now even though this movie bored me out of my mind. I'm still giving it higher than 1 or 2 stars solely because I absolutely love the concept of the movie and the themes it explores. It's a pretty standard post apocalyptic sci fi plot that the giver would go on to rip off but that doesn't make the surface level plot any less good.

The basic plot: A utopian closed off society that arose following great calamity that ended the world as we know it. The citizens live seemingly completely ideal happy lives and there is no concept of death, war, natural disasters, or other things that plague humanity. While there is no concept of death it still occurs but via a disguised ritual. Our hero questions the order of the society and eventually exposes it's lies and frees it. That's pretty much it.

You can make something of that plot, even the immensely disappointing and heavily watered down and sanitized movie version of the giver did. However, Logan's run just threw in a solid hour of pure filler that does nothing but waste time waiting for the actual plot to advance. They could've used the filler to explore the intricacies of the society more, explain the rituals, or even develop side characters like the giver but no, it's just characters talking to each other and doing random stuff filler.

Overall a solid 4 out of 10.

Man of Steel (2013)

This movie doesn't deserve the hate it got

[10/10 · 31 March 2023]

I never understood the hate this movie got. I remember seeing it in theaters when it first came out. Now Superman's story has had more rewrites than probably any other superhero but this one is the best. I greatly enjoyed the more dark and violent aspects to this movie and Superman's origins. Usually portrayals of Superman and his rogue's gallery are more campy and silly and unrealistic but this movie went the refreshingly darker route.

Michael Shannon easily gave the best performance of the entire movie. He made general Zod into a plausible villain and played the role very straight. He wasn't over the top, he didn't have to phone anything in or over act.

Henry Cavill also managed to perfectly capture the mentality of Superman. He made Superman into a plausible hero who has to come to terms with everything he knew being a lie and stop a genocidal madman and become the hero he knows he should and could be.

Also it's so refreshing to see a big budget CGI fight scene that actually makes sense instead of the absolute nonsense money wastes Michael Bay can't stop making.

The Lorax (2012)

meh just meh

[1/10 · 30 March 2023]

The Lorax is my favorite Doctor Seuss book. This movie absolutely destroyed the message of the book. Illumination is the worst modern film animation company. They are lazy and they are in no way capable of bringing any magic to the table in the way other companies like Disney and Dreamworks can. The only good movie they ever made was their debut Despicable me and even that is a solid 5. Now for the 1 positive thing I will say about this movie,

Illumination knew they were making a film aimed at young children, so the toilet humor and adult innuendos are kept to a complete minimum. Now for the negatives. In the original book and 1970s animated short, the once ler and his family/employees all kept their faces hidden and the ending was left ambiguous and no clear solution to the problem of climate change and our environmental problems was presented. The message of that being that there is no singular bad guy to blame everything on, there is no easy solution to these problems, and we all play a part and unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot than nothing will ever get better it's not.

In this movie, the once ler and family show their faces but that's the least of the problems. They had to create a singular villain to pin everything on. The point of the book and original short not having a bad guy was to get you the viewer to ask questions and examine your role in this world and question our society. This movie gives us a big bad stereotypical corporation guy villain which completely destroys the message of the original book.

The only real good thing to come out of this movie were the memes. The too long didn't read version of this review is it gives us a villain in a story never meant to have one killing the message of the original about our role in the world and questioning it.

Sausage Party (2016)

An absolutely genius piece of shock satire

[10/10 · 4 March 2023]

I adore this movie. It's extremely intentionally poorly made, it's extremely crude, stupid, and inane. It should be an absolutely terrible movie that I'm writing the same review for as I did Disaster Movie but I'm not. Seth Rogen while I may disagree with his politics is an absolute genius when it comes to satire.

He somehow managed to make a film that parodies kids films while throwing important messages about relevant political topics and religion. Only Seth Rogen could pull that off in the way that it was in this film. While Disaster Movie went the comedic in your face gross out way, this movie choose to be more subtle and nuanced and convey the message and story through the characters.

I don't know what else to say but if you want to watch a movie that is a perfect satire of our society, politics, and religion mixed with crude and toilet humor and parodies of kids movies, than this is for you!

King Kong (2005)

another movie that doesn't hold up as well to adult me that it did to child me

[4/10 · 4 March 2023]

Now, anyone who has read my reviews knows a common theme in them is movies I enjoyed as a kid that didn't hold up as well to adult me. I remember watching this movie when it came out and playing the tie in video game.

Jack Black is in my unpopular opinion one of the worst actors of our age and has abhorrent and ignorant views on politics. Usually, in movies he's known for playing a goofy, silly, and annoying character that relies too much on potty humor and 3d effects. Here, he finally plays the villain he actually is.

Kyle Chandler is a perfectly fine actor but here they gave him a cut and paste boring personality. He gave a much better performance in later films but this movie is one of his absolute worst and most wooden performances.

Hot off his portrayal of Hermann Fegelein in the tear jearking, powerful, and historically accurate masterpiece Downfall/Der Untergang is. Thomas Kretschmann playing the captain of the ship. He is clearly phoning it in and giving an extremely wooden and boring performance when in Downfall he was able to perfectly portray a believable historical figure.

The overarching point here is this movie is ungodly boring. It fails as a thriller. It made good and perfectly serviceable actors like Kyle and Thomas boring and wooden. The only positive thing I can say about this movie is that it portrayed Jack Black as the ignorant villain he truly is.

Night at the Museum: Kahmunrah Rises Again (2022)

How to kill a movie franchise in 80 minutes

[2/10 · 12 December 2022]

As someone who grew up watching and absolutely loved the first 3 night at the museum movies even if they didn't hold up as well to adult me, I went into this with an open mind. I wanted to like it, I understood that they couldn't get all of the original actors back to voice their characters and had my expectations lowered. The one positive thing I will say about this movie is that the CGI was beautiful. I loved the 2d drawings come to life looking colorful art style as opposed to more 3D CGI, such beautiful CGI could've been put to much better use than this movie. I would expect this obscene level of laziness, toilet and juvenile humor, and annoyingness from an Illumination movie not Disney. This movie took the intelligent, charming, and witty portrayal of Teddy Roosevelt done by Robin Williams and turned him into a annoying overgrown manchild. It took the already bumbling and silly Doctor McPhee done by Ricky Gervais and turned him into a very mean person with no comedy, I can keep going about how it took the characters live action actors created and did well with and not only defiled them but ruined the ability to enjoy them in the original trilogy. It should tell you something how none of the living original live action actors returned to voice the characters they once played.

The plot is literally is so boring and so full of filler, you could condense it into a 10 minute short and still get the full experience. It literally felt like someone tried to take a 10 minute animated chase short and turn it into a feature length film. The filler, the toilet humor, the annoying defilement of great characters, this movie is just awful and a very big low for Disney. As I said, if the animation was worse and 3d, you'd think it was done by illumination.

The Velveteen Rabbit (2009)

One of the greatest book to film adaptations of all time

[10/10 · 26 September 2022]

Children's book based moves are like video game based movies in that there are very very very few good movies in their genre but once in a while there are diamonds in the rough. This is an extremely bright diamond in the rough.

The original book told a short but very poignant and sad tale of a boy who loves his toys especially his stuffed rabbit but when he comes down with a horrible infectious disease, he loses everything and because of his love and the rabbit's desire to become real, he's spared the destruction. The book gives a harsh and sad lesson that kids must learn, not all of our favorite and most beloved toys will join us in adulthood and sometimes we have to say hard goodbyes and we all have to grow up someday.

In most kids book based movies, given how short the book is, to fill out the runtime subplots, filler, and things must be made up and thrown in. That is where most of the hit or miss in kids book based movies come from. Often times said subplots and filler is completely out of place and has nothing to do with and wouldn't make sense in the source material.

However, this movie actually did it right. They made the boy's life believable in a way that fit the message, tone, and plot of the original story. They expanded the book's universe as opposed to rewriting it and that is what made this movie great.

The animated segments are also truly applause worthy as well. They used beautiful 2d animation as opposed to awful cgi which is such a pleasant surprise.

Overall, this is truly a book based kids movie done right, it's a movie that I would recommend to anyone who is a fan of the book because it truly did the book justice by keeping the message intact and expanding the universe rather than rewriting it.

Five Days at Memorial (2022)

Easily Apple Tv's best show

[10/10 · 29 August 2022]

This is the only good original Apple Tv ever made in my opinion.

This show highlights the highs and lows of the human condition. It shows humanity both at it's most selfless and it's most selfish. It's a very factual and honest depiction of a true story of a hospital that had to do the unthinkable during extraordinary circumstances. Before I share my praises about this series, I'd first like to share my criticisms.

The original book and historically event that this movie showcases is mainly focused on Doctor Anna Pou who euthanized patients and allegedly in real life made the choice to do that. In this series, she's relegated to a background character and the idea of euthanizing patients comes from the higher ups in the hospital. So while this drama is mostly factual, I feel like that very much detracts from the historical accuracy.

Also I don't feel like there was enough emotion from the characters. There should've been much more emotion given the circumstance.

For the praises, this series will keep you on the edge of your seat. It's a tantalizing watch and you won't be able to take your eyes off the screen. All the actors give performances you'd expect for their roles despite the lack of emotion.

While they aren't dead ringers for the real people, you can tell they're trying their best.

Overall, a solid 10 out of 10 and by far the best original Apple Tv ever made, although this likely could've been better had American Crime Story made it instead.

The Interview (II) (2014)

People focus too much on the controversy.

[10/10 · 29 August 2022]

I think people honestly focus too much on the controversy surrounding North Korea's reaction to the movie as opposed to the movie itself.

The movie itself is exactly what it's meant to be. It's meant to a shock project lampooning current (for the time the movie released) political events. Seth Rogen and James Franco work perfectly as a duo and bring their signature excessive toilet humor, pop culture references, and exaggerated characters.

Randall Park gave an incredible performance as Kim John-Un. In comparison to Franco and Rogen portrayed their characters as just well meaning idiots, Randall was easily the best character in the movie. It wasn't like Bruno Ganz in Downfall but he portrayed Kim Jong-Un exactly how you'd think Kim would be. He's manipulative, egotistical, but still has a human side to him. Randall played the role as straight as he could.

I also like that Eminem and Rob Lowe both poked fun at themselves in their cameo appearances which added more humor to the show.

I do think this is a good movie and in my top 10 favorites. It's funny, it serves it's purpose, and it's worth a watch.

Mousehunt (1997)

The negative reviews don't make any sense

[10/10 · 9 February 2022]

This is one of the few movies I enjoyed as a child that still holds up years later as an adult. This movie has a simple concept, 2 Laurel and Hardy like brothers inherit an old run down mansion from their father and find it is inhabited by a mouse which they decide to fight. The slapstick is funny and works perfectly with the concept.

There really isn't anything wrong with this movie. There is no toilet humor, needless pop culture references, and it's something people of all ages can enjoy. It deserves a full 10 stars. I don't really know what else to say about it.

Disaster Movie (2008)

The absolute worst movie I have ever seen

[10/10 · 16 January 2022]

This is the absolute worst movie I have ever seen and so you may wonder why I'm giving it 10 out of 10. This movie is disgusting, painful, asinine, inane, immature, crude, and any other adjective you can use for a truly awful movie. However, it was meant to be awful. This film should be appreciated for what it is and what it was meant to be.

It's a low budget cringe intentionally awful parody shock project created for no other reason than to be stupid and poke fun at 2008 pop culture. If you do watch this movie, go into it like I did. Lower your expectations to nothing, prepare for some gross out, and expect to feel like you just wasted 90 minutes of your life. Then you can appreciate this movie.

All and all, I did not enjoy this movie in fact I hated it but I'm still rating it highly because I didn't expect anything less from it because it was intended an intentionally stupid cringe shock project lampooning pop culture.

World Trade Center (2006)

another standard Nick Cage movie

[3/10 · 7 June 2021]

This movie was clearly trying to cash on the highly successful and much better and much more historically accurate United 93. To be fair to this movie, it did a surprisingly good job at depicting that warzone that was New York City that day and the horror and confusion of the people there. However, they didn't do this movie right. Nick Cage is not a good actor and he should stick to the cheesy campy movies he is known for. He was not made for the role of a real fire chief in a 9/11 movie. A lot of the other actors gave wooden and not very well acted performances either. What made United 93 great was it was an ensemble of unknown actors and real people and the production went out of it's way to make it feel as real and realistic as possible. This movie again just went the standard Nick Cage cheesy route. That is really disrespectful and wrong for a 9/11 movie. There is a reason why none of Nick Cage's movies have ever really been rated above meh. All and all aside from the really good effects. This movie only manages to capture the look of the events of that day rather than the feel of the people involved. Nick Cage only makes it worse.

G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

Not GI Joe at all

[1/10 · 20 May 2021]

If they were going to make a GI Joe Movie, it should have been a straightforward animated update or even reboot to the animated TV show GI Joe real American hero. That TV show was completely true to the toy line especially in the character designs. This movie feels like one of those movies centered around the tired old gimmick of cartoon characters coming to the real world only it's not because they botched it so poorly.

It's literally GI Joe character names pasted on a Michael Bay style standard wasteful macho action flick. If you erased any of the GI Joe names or the snake eyes costume from this, you would think it's another big name stars in credits to make back all the money spent on seizure inducing CGI Michael bay flick. I loved GI Joe as a kid and I feel personally insulted by this movie.

This is not a GI Joe movie, it's a standard action flick with GI Joe character names pasted on it.

Red Dawn (1984)

One of the greatest movies of all time

[10/10 · 9 February 2021]

I was born well over 10 years after this came out and I consider this movie one of the greatest movies ever. It's remake doesn't even deserve to share a name with it. Part of what made this great was the villains. Yes they were cold war stereotypes, but they were still humans. You can feel the emotions from the characters. The performances in this movie were incredibly powerful. Charlie Sheen, C Thomas Howel, and Patrick Swayze gave some of the best performances in their carriers. It's also a tearjerker and a reminder of the harsh reality of not only war but what people were afraid of at the time. I highly recommend it.

Deep Impact (1998)

One of the greatest disaster movies ever made

[10/10 · 17 January 2021]

This movie is one of the greatest disaster movies ever and is way better than Armageddon. Armageddon was scientifically inaccurate and in usual Michael Bay fashion a lackluster movie with an incredibly obscene waste of money on special effects and A list talent having to work with lackluster scripts and only being hired to be big names in the credits. What made this movie much better was the disaster was the main focus of the movie, it was more scientifically accurate, and most importantly the cast was an ensemble who were believable as normal people trying to figure their way around the coming calamity. Morgan Freeman gave an incredible performance as President Beck and he was believable as a president who was grappling with his own conscience as he knew what was coming would mean for the country and it's people. That is perfectly displayed in the scene where he solemnly tells the world what is coming after he believes it's too late to stop the comets. This movie didn't need A list talent or obscene special effects to be good. The script and believable performances are what made it good.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009)

Not as good as the original but not bad either

[7/10 · 5 January 2021]

The original Night at the Museum was a coming of age comedy about a single father. It was witty, self aware, and original. However, this movie goes the purely comedic route. I'm pretty sure the people who made this movie knew anyone who had seen the first movie already was fully aware of the gimmick and centerpiece of the story, the tablet animating inanimate objects. My issue with this movie personally is the comedy itself. The Simpsons' own Hank Azaria plays the main villain. His scenes are incredibly funny, but they are the only laughs I got out of it. Plus the happy ending of this one was a bit too generic. However, Ben Stiller still gave an in character and self aware performance and I like how they expanded on his son's character. A lot of the side characters in this movie weren't bad either like Custer and Earhart. However, if you aren't watching this with low expectations you probably won't enjoy it because the humor really is only given by one character and you probably already know the gimmick.

Red Dawn (2012)

An ugly defilement of the original

[2/10 · 5 January 2021]

I was born way after the original red dawn came out but I have watched it many times. It was tear jerking, scary, and brutally realistic. The emotional and powerful performances really gave it a raw edge to it as well. This modern version of it absolutely doesn't even deserve to have the same name as the original. I do like how they updated the setting for the time this movie was made in, like North Koreans are the enemy rather than Russians for example. However, the cast is completely forgettable. The North Koreans have absolutely zero character development. In the original Red Dawn the main Cuban and main Russian despite not having a ton of screen time still had personalities and had a human side. This movie just portrays the North Koreans as evil barbaric savages. Plus not one of the performances in this movie was remotely good. It was just flat out boring and ruined the name of the original.