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Reviews
Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (2009)
A welcoming retro feel!
I attended Spooky Empire this past weekend, and like every year, I get to watch new horror films..some mainstream, mostly independent. And this year was no exception... out of the four films I saw...Blood Night was the best one, hands down. You know, all these horror films want to bring back the "fun 80's vibe", and this film is no exception. The only difference is that it succeeds!
"Blood Night" has great acting from everyone involved, but Danielle Harris stands out..absolutely adorable and one hell of a job. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you what the film's about, I'm sure you read the overview. It was fun, very well paced, the gore was awesome, and there's a great twist that I REALLY wanna talk about, but it's such an important part in the film that I just can't do it.
Brutal Massacre: A Comedy (2007)
eh.....Go see the film it stole from, "ACTRESS APOCALYPSE" instead
Alright, so I've been dying to see this movie. Stoked about the, "who's who" in horror land that are in the film....well, my friend rented this, brought it over, and we started watching it. It's supposed to be a comedy....I did not smirk even ONCE, until the 40min mark.
Does it have to do with the budget? Not at all, in fact, there's films out there that cost CLOSE TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, and they're amazing (to me anyways). Also, while watching this film, I couldn't help but realize the similarities (i.e., STEALING) to a low budget indie film titled, "ACTRESS APOCALYPSE", read my review about it (it DESTROYS this film BTW).
This film...it had potential it really did. It had the "star power", stolen plot (lets film the behind the scenes of the making of a movie...IE..."ACTRESS APOCALYPSE"....seriously, this angers me the more and more I think about),...it really could've been funny. A LOT, A LOT of the jokes fall flat. The acting is alright for what it is. But it dragged on, wasn't funny, and the plot was totally stolen.
I give this a two, because it wasn't SOOO AWFUL, but that's the ONLY reason.
Pick-up (1975)
Wanna go for a ride?...YES PLEASE!
What can I said about "Pick-Up" that hasn't been said already? It's sad to see the negatives that were posted on here about the movie....how about you think outside the box?
Anyways, another reviewer pretty much told you what the film was about, so I won't repeat that here. What I will tell you is the film is just great. The film is obviously low budget...but not in a bad way whatsoever! They made with what they had...the acting (for that time), was very good, the directing was great, and I would just like to point out the editing...excellent! You know, back then it wasn't easy like it is now, and there's some trippy stuff you see in between shots as well. Oh, and both of the girls...absolutely beautiful.
The film, like one reviewer said, plays like a "trip"....and I absolutely gotta agree with them! Definitely a trip I would love to be on that's for sure. I WILL NOT give away the ending, but to this day it's stuck with me and I always think about it. The pacing is great, both of the girls are excellent (as characters and actresses)...the guy that owns the RV place always cracks me up lol
Seriously though, the other reviewer did a top notch job, and I can't think of anything else to say other than this:
Want to see a film that is original and unlike any other film you have seen? Tired of the films that try and pass as "grindhouse" films nowadays and want the real thing? Pick up "PICK-UP" today and go on one hell of a ride =)
But to agree with one of the other reviewers....YES!!! This, if no other movie, needs a special edition!!!!
Actress Apocalypse (2005)
Unknown Treasure!
That is the best way to describe how I feel about this film. I bought this as a blind buy at the local FYE and popped it into my player that night. It is probably one of the BEST blind buys I have ever done. Why, you ask? Simple...because it works. The back of the DVD says that it is a mockumentary-exploitation with the spirit of Russ Meyers...and that's EXACTLY what it is. The movie is hilarious! But also VERY dark. There's some necro humor in there (not enough film these days have that!), which I thought was sick/hilarious. I don't remember when the last time, or if ever for that matter, that I was laughing so hard and then in a split second just go, "whoa...that was **cked up!" Also, I would like to point out that this is one of the finest exploitation films I have seen as of late. It's hilarious/sexy/**cked up, it's got beautiful women as well as some great music. Listen, don't go into the movie thinking you're going to get a shot on film million dollar masterpiece...cause you won't get it. What you will get, is a shot on dv, hilariously screwed up exploitation movie. Just go with it, you'll have a GREAT time! You'll be laughing at the movie and at the same time going; "I was just laughing....but...why? This is so wrong!". All in all, a very, VERY good movie, with very dark undertones, and a great cast. Note to you indie fans out there...at the end of the film, after the credits, Greg Freeman who plays "Vance", actually THANKS us for watching the film. How many movies do you know that do that? So rent it off Netflix if you want, or if you find it at your local FYE, pick it up. You'll have a great time!...and besides...isn't that what you want in a movie?
Chainsaw Sally (2004)
It's time for a new horror icon....and we got it!
"Chainsaw Sally" isn't your typical straight to video independent horror film. No, not at all. This one actually has something a lot of the STVs don't have...and that's heart. Remember when you would watch a low budget horror film and it meant something? Now it's time to relive those good ole days my friend, cause "Chainsaw Sally" is here.
When I first saw the movie, I didn't know what to expect. OK, yeah I was hoping for a great good ole B-movie time. What I got was that and something much, much more. The acting, directing, the script, everything was just so well done, I was very impressed. The character of Sally is guaranteed to be a horror icon. When was the last time ANYONE can remember a good horror icon that was female? It's been awhile to say the least. With Chainsaw Sally you can see the chicks can totally slash just as good, if not better than some of the dudes. Also, I have a great feeling that Sally will be up there with Vampire and Elvira, and that is something of amazement.
What I also noticed is that the film has a WONDERFUL pace! Never too fast, never to slow, it's just right. Sally is a librarian by day, and a psycho slasher by night...ITS ALWAYS THE QUIET ONES I TELL YA! Also, something I found refreshing was that there was no nudity. Way too many low budget, indie, B-movies rely too much on the nudity and could care less of anything else. Another character in the film that I hope people will notice and love just as much as Sally is her brother, Ruby, played AMAZINGLY by Alec Joseph. Horror fans will also notice the appearance of two genre greats : Gunnar Hansen and Herschell Gordon Lewis! That just adds to the fun and greatness of the film! The film is also very funny, but to me, was definitely more on the horror side.
I wish nothing but luck to the cast and crew of Chainsaw Sally. They did a fantastic job and hope the film gets the distribution it rightfully deserves. "Chainsaw Sally" is definitely going to be a classic "B-movie", not to mention the status of Sally the character destined to be a cult horror icon. Enjoy the movie, have fun with it. You can tell they sure as hell did.
Cauldron: Baptism of Blood (2004)
Great Times up Ahead!!!
The Cauldron: Baptism of Blood is one of the greatest movies I have ever seen, and easily one of the greatest ones ever made. The movie, in a nutshell, is about young girls trading their souls to Satan for fame and fortune, and we all know what happens when we do that....we get punished for it! This film has it all folks. Sorcery, Witchcraft, Satanic Rituals, Black Magic, Paranormal and Psychic Phenomenon, and to top it off...beheadings! The Cauldron is written, directed, produced, photographed and edited(!!) by the great Ted V. Mikels who just keeps pushing out one great film after the other. I would also like to note that there is a demon by the name of "Vessago" in the film who is beyond creepy and very scary. Something that's hard to find in today's horror films, let alone independent ones. Also, the ritual music that appears in this movie is very accurate to those of satanic rituals and things of that nature. And it's also very catchy too.Another thing is the computer effects. The computer effects in this film is top notch! I've seen multi-million dollar movies that can't pull off CGI that The Cauldron has! Very well directed and scripted The Cauldron will have you at the edge of your seat just waiting to see what happens next! Stay for the ending, whatever you do, it's very very awesome. The dancers in the film aren't too bad to look at either...yet, ANOTHER plus to the film. I would also like to recommend you watch MARK OF THE ASTRO-ZOMBIES along with this for a night of fun and excitement. ENJOY!