halcyonbear Reviews

28 Days Haunted (2022– )

Kind of entertaining but not for the intended reasons.

[4/10 · 23 October 2022]

Does anyone actually buy into this BS? Do the participants actually buy into this BS? Are they actors? Are they genuinely deluded and should be given some kind of help rather than a Netflix series. To sum it up its a plot hole riddled mess featuring self proclaimed psychics (because some people maybe didn't get enough attention as kids) and angry shouty Christians who investigate hauntingly as those shysters The Warrens did. It's a lot of fun watching how far they'll go in pandering to the credulous and attempting to convince the rest of us. I'm not against paranormal investigation shows, but I'm yet to find one that is more balanced and doesn't automatically find something that's more at home in a mediocre early 00s horror film. Accept it's a ton of crap and it's unintentionally funny.

The Dig (2021)

Sometimes slowness and simplicity really pays off.

[8/10 · 17 May 2021]

Not a lot happens in this film... but that's the beauty of it! In this reimagining of the excavation of Sutton Hoo (arguably the most important archaeological discovery on English soil) we are presented with a simple story of two people from different backgrounds who share a passion for unearthing the past and their ensuing friendship. The acting is brilliant and it's a shame that this film has been overlooked for award nominations. It looks beautiful too, making great use of locations.

Was the fictionalised love triangle necessary? Maybe not, but it doesn't really distract from a simple but beautifully told story of friendship set in a time before the world was plunged into war.

Things Heard & Seen (2021)

Restrained but all the better for it.

[7/10 · 16 May 2021]

Some might not know what genre to place Things Heard and Seen into. Admittedly it does cross the boundaries between a straightforward drama and a horror/thriller. It's definitely cut from the same cloth as a lot of 19th century gothic works. If you are expecting an Amityville Horror style film with a ton of jump scares you will be disappointed. This story is much more restrained and is all the better for it. Whilst the supernatural is present, it doesn't take centre stage and acts as a metaphor for people being haunted by secrets and lies. It's certainly not the dead we need to fear in Things Heard and Seen. It's certainly not going to be to everyone's taste. The pacing is slower than in a lot of films, but this only builds the tension that such a story demands. It's a story that doesn't need to be pigeonholed. I hadn't heard of it and came to it with no expectations, good or bad. Would I watch it again? Maybe not. But it held my interest throughout.

Shock Docs: Devil's Road: The True Story of Ed and Lorraine Warren (2020) Season 1, Episode 1

Blind faith is dangerous.

[3/10 · 16 May 2021]

After The Exorcist was released in 1973, it was said that the film gave the Catholic Church fantastic publicity due to the number of people who were, allegedly so terrified of it. In the panic that ensued, it could be argued that Ed and Lorraine Warren grabbed the ball and ran with it!

You'll be familiar with the Warrens if you have watched The Conjuring universe films. There's no arguing that these films which are "based on true events" are massively entertaining. There can be no doubt that as a couple they were devoted to one another, but did they really encounter diabolical spirits in their investigations? As with many documentaries about the Warrens, the makers of this one have fallen into the same trap that their subjects did; go into it already accepting one version of events without applying critical thinking. The Warrens were very religious and really seem to have wanted to promote those beliefs. Their methods of doing so were to hammer home their belief that The Devil is real and you had to believe in the power of Christ to overcome torments. They believed that God allowed such hauntings to happen so people would know he was stronger than Satan. That is a level of messed up that in itself requires a book about the nature of belief.

At best the Warrens were deluded people who thought they were genuinely helping others, at worst predatory Christians who preyed upon the fears of the desperate and credulous in order to foist their brand of Christianity upon others. A lot of these people didn't need exorcists so much as they needed psychiatric help and in that respect the Warrens were dangerous.

Both Ed and Lorraine are now dead, but they still have followers among the credulous who are determined to continue their work. One of them even states that Ed proved the existence of ghosts in court. Absolute BS. All that was proved in that case was that someone had such a strong belief in spirits (that the Warrens undoubtedly fuelled to a reckless degree) they were too scared to remain in their rented home.

I'm not 100% sceptical on such matters, but nor do I believe you can scream DEMON every time something unusual happens.

It's a watchable documentary but not for the reasons you might imagine. I don't think many will come away from watching this with the sense that the Warrens were on a genuine crusade against the forces of darkness, but I think many will be asking questions about a couple who, had they lived in the 17th century, would probably have sparked off a witch hunt and then asked questions later.

Ferry (2021)

Brutal, funny, touching.

[7/10 · 15 May 2021]

Admittedly this film is probably very much one for the fans of Undercover. If you aren't already familiar with Ferry from that series, you might not be as excited about this film, but if you enjoyed the series you won't feel let down by this movie prequel.

Yes, some major characters from Undercover are missing, but given that this is a prequel set a good few years before season one, it wouldn't make sense for them to be present. Instead Ferry is placed front and centre and we get a great backstory to the events that ultimately led to him being investigated in Undercover.

Chronologically you could watch this before watching Undercover, but I liked the fact that I already knew aspects of Ferry and Dani prior to watching this and Filip's cameo is definitely funnier.

It's brutal in places, as we've come to expect from Undercover, but there are also touching moments and humour too. Frank Lammers imbues a character that could very easily have been a two dimensional monster with a degree of sympathy. If Undercover continues (and I hope it will), we don't know if Ferry will make another appearance, so this is potentially us saying goodbye to him. I'll definitely watch this again.

Deadly Possessions (2016– )

Bagans strikes again.

[1/10 · 11 May 2021]

The questions with this show aren't so much 'Do demons exist?' and 'Can they possess physical objects?' so much as 'Does Bagans expect us to believe this?' and 'Does he himself believe it?'. It's essentially Pawn Stars for the credulous, hosted by someone on an ego trip (Did we not get attention as a child?) interspersed with acting that would be woeful in a porn movie let alone a horror movie. If you want a programme that tackles the paranormal in an objective manner that doesn't make assumptions, look elsewhere. If I had to say anything positive it would be that it's unintentionally hilarious. Knock back a shot every time Bagans looks stunned and make a drinking game of it... actually don't, you'll ruin your liver. I'm guessing the 10/10 reviews are from people who Bagans has paid, as was obvious in the equally awful Demon House (Be disappointed by one Bagans show, shame on him, be disappointed by two, shame on us) or they are by the exceptionally credulous. I don't disbelieve the paranormal, I do keep an open mind, but I can't buy into it when its presented THIS badly.

Jack the Ripper in America (2009 TV Special)

Another Jack the Ripper documentary that brings nothing new to the investigation.

[5/10 · 10 May 2021]

First things first, this isn't awful. If you don't know a lot about the story of Jack the Ripper and investigations into the mystery, there will be much to hold your attention.

The problem is that a lot of the theories regarding possible suspects have already been discredited elsewhere. It places too much importance upon the fact that after the killings in London, prostitutes in New York were murdered and mutilated. Sadly, misogynistic killings have occurred across different countries in the past, they needn't be the work of one maniac. At one point Ed the investigating detective says experience has told him not to believe in coincidence, but it's certainly no stretch of the imagination to believe that two violent killers whose modus operandi is slicing their victims up are operating independently thousands of miles apart; there's even a very believable theory that London killings may not have all have been the work of one killer.

Does the letter X carved into a victim of the NY killings indicate them being a 10th victim (X being 10 in Roman numerals)? It's likely if you are carving someone up, a couple of slashes are going to form this very basic shape without it having any meaning.

Let's do a computer image of one of the suspects. How might he have looked 40 years previously when the murders happened? Let's give him a hat and a moustache like in one of the eyewitness accounts from the time! My dog could be made to look like a generic suspect if you did that! Let's make the evidence fit the hypothesis!

Ed Norris the investigator is certainly a man on a mission with a great deal of interest in the case, but in the earlier episodes he really does come across as someone who feels it is his personal mission to solve a mystery that has endured for over 100 years. Unless Scotland Yard has documents that will be declassified at some point, this is an enigma that will continue to perplex. The very most anyone can hope to do is either discount someone from the investigation or throw another possible name into the mix.

That isn't to say it doesn't have moments of interest, but if you have already watched and read a lot about Jack the Ripper there'll be little of any genuine interest.

The Dare (2019)

It's Saw-lite!

[4/10 · 4 March 2021]

I found this on Amazon Prime when I was looking for something to fill in an hour or so without too much attention from me! It did the job. It's not the best recent horror film I've seen, but it's far from being the worst. If you can ignore a major plot hole it's fine. OK, SPOILERS AHEAD! The premise is that four people are being held in a dungeon and are forced to harm one another by a masked madman. The perpetrator had been held prisoner in a remote farmhouse since childhood by a crazy guy following a dare gone wrong. In order to complete a series of dares to become part of a gang, he had to go into the creepy house...and was never seen again. He becomes a replacement son for the inhabitant, and eventually becomes mad himself. Having been lied to by his "adoptive father" who told him no one was looking for him, he kills him once he learns the truth, and as punishment for having been denied a normal life, tracks down and torments the other kids, now grown up, who abandoned him to his fate and who never told the police about the dare. This overlooks one basic flaw. Most kids of that age don't deal with guilt very well. Even if they had instigated the dare of going into the creepy house, the ensuing missing persons case would have caused at least one of the kids to crack under pressure and tell what had happened. For most kids the thought of being punished for their part in such a situation pales in comparison to having to keep such a huge guilty secret. At least one of those kids would have told the police everything! For me, it was a stretch of the imagination that they would all have kept silent for 20 years. Overlooking this however, it's a very watchable, sometimes gory film that should keep you entertained for a while.

Crime Scene: The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel (2021)

Watch this to the end, it's not what you think.

[7/10 · 14 February 2021]

Since the disappearance of Elisa Lam there have been countless web sleuths, convinced that they can do better than trained detectives when it comes to the undoubtedly tragic case of the Canadian student whose remains were found in a rooftop water tank almost three weeks after she went missing. As much as this documentary looks at the circumstances of her disappearance, it also examines how online conspiracy theories and amateur sleuths can also cause a lot of damage, at best seeing conspiracy where there is none to be seen. I think there may have been reviews posted on here by people who didn't stick with this until the end. Watch this to the end because the final chapter examines how the life of Morbid, a death metal musician was all but destroyed by a completely baseless conspiracy theory that he was responsible for killing Elisa Lam. Conspiracy theorists jumped on the fact that he had once stayed at the Cecil Hotel prior to Lam's disappearance and writes music with dark themes to essentially try, convict and sentence an innocent man who was in no way linked to the investigation. In the aftermath of what turned out to be the accidental death of a very talented, yet vulnerable young woman who was battling chronic mental illness, his life is still in pieces because of untruths. Conspiracy theories reach far and wide. A breakdown in communication, which was later corrected, originally made the disappearance seem much more mysterious than it was. In the final episode we see how the disappearance of Elisa Lam was very straightforward, although no less tragic. We also see how one of the web sleuths, given time to review his own input from years ago, is now able to see how caught up he was in the conspiracy; one he now acknowledges, with hindsight, was online hysteria. The amateur detectives are undoubtedly annoying in the earlier episodes, especially the one who didn't know Elisa Lam yet somehow managed to make her disappearance all about him, but stick with it for the last installment when realisation begins to set in, for one at least, and he realises how misguided he had been. The skid row area of LA is home to many that the world has given up on. If half as much effort was spent in trying to help those people as it is in fuelling baseless online stories, the world would maybe be a happier place. Ultimately one of the things I personally took from this series is that in the digital age, rumours and conspiracies can mythologize genuinely tragic events and give the misguided a sense of ownership over stories that are not theirs...and people suffer as a result, the falsely accused and the family who is left to pick up the pieces of their lives after a personal loss. If you are angered by the presence of YouTubers spouting off their misguided views in this documentary, you have to realise that it is kind of the point of it and trust me, they don't come out of the documentary looking good. If, at the end of this, you don't feel some degree of irritation towards the digital age providing a platform for the uninformed to spout misinformation, you clearly haven't been paying attention. Netflix hasn't given them a further platform. If anything Netflix has highlighted the danger of going down the rabbit hole of conspiracy theories.

Valhalla: The Legend of Thor (I) (2019)

Sadly a missed opportunity.

[5/10 · 7 February 2021]

There's no mistaking it, the Norse Eddas are composed of some brilliant stories. If your only exposure to the vibrant world of Norse mythology has been the highly entertaining yet very inaccurate MCU films, the original stories should definitely be on your reading list. Neil Gaiman's retelling is highly recommended. I was hoping that this film would be a fairly faithful retelling of the myths...I was wrong. To be fair, it was OK but only up to a point. I'm not familiar with the Danish comic book retelling that was the main source for this adaptation, but I am not inspired to read it having watched this. Too much emphasis is placed on two kids who barely get a mention in the original myths and there has been the totally pointless inclusion of a cutesy giant character who doesn't even provide the comic relief he was probably intended to bring (think Viking era Jar Jar Binks). On the plus side, the film looks good. Some people are stressing about the appearance of the Aesir in the film. In Norse mythology the deities were shape shifters so I'm not too bothered about casting choices (no, not all the Norse gods were fair skinned blonds as one reviewer on here mentioned; Thor in the Eddas was a redhead and Loki even took on the form of a female horse in one tale). Whereas Norse mythology presents gods and goddesses who have wonderfully human traits that make them rounded personalities, there is very little character development of what are, in this version, clueless, bickering two-dimensional tyrants. I have studied Norse culture and myth for over 30 years. I didn't hate this film, but found myself picking it to pieces as I watched it. I'm hoping that one day there will be an accurate adaptation of the Eddas. They are all such great stories, they don't need embellishment for a modern audience. These are stories that have endured for hundreds of years. As I say, the production design was decent and reflected the Norse view of their mythology before the later Christian influences crept in, but if you want to learn more about Norse mythology, for the time being at least, turn off the TV and read a book or listen to the BBC radio dramatisation of Neil Gaiman's retelling.

Bridgerton (2020– )

Proceed with caution...

[6/10 · 26 January 2021]

If you are expecting a straightforward period drama, Bridgerton, essentially Pride & Prejudice caught with its bloomers down may be a bit of a shock. Bridgerton isn't awful. It's very addictive and is essentially an historical soap opera with decent acting and a big budget. Much has been made of the fact that it's set in an alternate version of the Regency period in which slavery was abolished earlier than it actually was, allowing for a much more diverse ruling class. However this is never really referenced within the plot and remains entirely superficial. We live in a time where people don't really question the authenticity of what is presented to them in historical dramas. I can imagine that there will be many people who will view Bridgerton and not realise that they are watching an alternative history and will believe that Regency period society was more racially egalitarian than it actually was. The ugly history of slavery is still not taught in many schools and remains the shameful secret that we find more comfortable to brush under the carpet. We can't change history but we can at least have an honest discourse about it. Historical dramas are not a one stop shop; they are great jumping off points to start learning about history, but you still have to do research if you want the truth. Whilst I don't imagine the makers of Bridgerton were ever intending to create a serious historical drama, there remains the possibility that a great many viewers will not go on to scratch the surface of this period of British history. It's good to see a diverse cast, but I can't help wondering if there will ever be TV dramas and films made to tell the actual histories of POC in Britain, histories that have been sidelined for too long. POC have lived in Britain for 2000 years since the days of the Roman Empire. Emperor Severus who was more important in the history of Hadrian's Wall than Hadrian himself was not white, a fact that was at best overlooked by many for a long time. The film Belle (2013) told one such story; that of Dido Elizabeth Belle, a woman who might easily have been lost to history. So many true stories are being left untold. Bridgerton is a lot of fun, it looks beautiful and is very addictive...but don't for one moment think this is how the past REALLY was. Once you've binge watched it (and you will), switch off Netflix and read a book about the history of the period for an accurate view of how the Regency period really treated POC.

Demon House (2019)

Insulting to anyone's intelligence.

[1/10 · 28 December 2020]

Where does one begin with this pile of unadulterated BS? I really don't know what would be worse; if the people involved genuinely believe that these events occurred or if they are trying to pull a fast one over the credulous. Either way it's clear that Mr Bagans did not get enough attention as a child. Every tired horror movie cliché is rolled out and presented as fact. Were this presented as a fictional found footage movie it would be, at best unoriginal. The fact that it is being presented as a documentary is risible. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy documentaries about the paranormal, I even try to keep an open mind, but there is nothing here that would convince anyone other than the especially credulous. Just about every "phenomenon" listed could have been lifted straight from horror DVDs you could pick up out of a bargain bin in the supermarket. One guy assures us that these are "truthful people"...ooh well that must be true then, and they are in no way lying because they've been paid to take part? One guy even says he'll tell them stories if they can pay him. It's almost insulting that we are being expected to buy into this. Watch it for what it actually is and not what you are being told it is and it MIGHT be part-way entertaining albeit for ALL the wrong reasons. The makers obviously had excess budget to pay for all the 10/10 reviews though!

The Boulet Brothers' Dragula: Resurrection (2020 TV Special)

A glimpse into the creative world of horror drag!

[7/10 · 30 November 2020]

I'm not understanding why some people seem to think that this is a film when it is very clearly a Halloween special of The Boulet Brothers Dragula TV show. Even if you are unfamiliar with the programme, it should be very clear that this IS NOT A FILM. It even explains the concept at one point, that here we have 7 drag performers competing to earn a place in the forthcoming fourth season of the show. It's not like trying to understand quantum physics. I'm a huge drag fan, and whilst I love RuPaul's Drag Race, it's great to see a show that showcases the darker side of the artform. Yes it looks like it's been done on a budget at times, but that's so often a part of drag; creating something special from not very much. If you have not watched The Boulet Brothers Dragula before you may not get a lot out of this special show, but established fans will find a lot to enjoy. Even if you haven't seen the show, maybe give this special episode a watch, it might convert you to being a fan of horror drag.

Anastasia: Once Upon a Time (2020)

One star is being kind.

[1/10 · 20 November 2020]

Tasteless doesn't even cover this. Regardless of your opinions of the Russian Revolution and casting disproven conspiracy theories aside, the historical fact remains that a young girl was killed alongside her family. To try to turn that into some kind saccharine feel-good family fantasy movie is very disrespectful. Why not just do an animated musical about Anne Frank if we're going to be so tasteless? Some subjects need to be treated with due gravity. This is the kind of story that should be done as a serious drama. If you want to make a family film about hope and friendship, fine, there are other tales that can be adapted, or better still, do something original. At some point whilst the idea for this was being pitched, someone should have had the lightbulb moment that this is a horrible idea. I can totally understand why people from Russia are so angered by this film.

Don't Look Back (2020)

The title is two words too long.

[4/10 · 1 November 2020]

When I saw that this was from the creator of Final Destination I had high hopes. Wow, I disappointed. OK, the premise isn't awful; after failing to intervene in a brutal attack which leaves a man dead, bystanders start dying. Can they break the chain? So far, so very Final Destination. Except that it lacks the suspense and imagination that made the FD franchise such a horror favourite. So much could have been done with the concept, it's hard to see how it could have gone so horribly wrong, but it did. There is absolutely no tension at all and the majority of characters die off camera and their bodies are discovered by the main character in scenes that are about as gory as Murder She Wrote. There is so much focus just on the main character that we don't really get to know the other characters. In FD we get to know enough about the supporting characters to feel some sense of tension at their impending deaths. The acting isn't awful. It's not award winning but it does the job for a horror film of this ilk. There's even a reasonably good twist right at the end, although it could have been put to better use had it been revealed 10 minutes sooner in order to build suspense. It's a shame because as I say, the premise isn't bad. However all the way through all I could see was a massive wasted opportunity.

My Amityville Horror (2012)

Unsettling...but not for the reason you might imagine.

[7/10 · 30 October 2020]

If you time in to this expecting a straightforward documentary about the alleged haunting at Amityville you will be disappointed. What we get instead is a portrait of the eldest son of the Lutz family who claimed to have endured a haunting so terrifying, they fled their home after only 28 days. It will have you asking questions about belief and memory. Another reviewer on here sums it up brilliantly when they say that he believes his account of the events. I don't think you could call him a liar; I believe that he believes his story 100%. I'm not a psychologist so I can't offer solutions as to the whys and wherefores of his situation. It's a somewhat upsetting portrait of a seemingly lonely man who is clearly living with mental health issues from unresolved problems with his family as a child...it just so happens that his family was involved with probably THE most famous American ghost story. Haunting is a pretty good metaphor for how our pasts have a tendency to trouble us years later if we don't deal with them in a healthy way. There's certainly a lot of anger and a need to be listened to. It would be easy to make a sarcastic comment like "Someone obviously didn't get enough attention as a child", but sadly that may well be the case. Do I believe the story of The Amityville Haunting? No. But this compelling documentary shows that it's the actions of the living and the memories that they create we need to be scared of, not those of the dead.

Room 237 (I) (2012)

Some people need to get out and about more.

[6/10 · 25 October 2020]

So there was me thinking that Stanley Kubrick's The Shining was just a good horror movie. Apparently it's a film about The Holocaust, a condemnation of the genocide of Native Americans, a study of human sexuality AND Kubrick's apology for having helped to fake the Moon landings. Oh no, hold on. It IS a just a good horror and some people just have WAY too much much time on their hands. Don't get me wrong, it's an interesting documentary but says more about the psychology of how people can read non-existent subtexts into anything than it does to critique The Shining itself. It's not all bad from a cinematic point of view; the comments about the impossible architecture of The Overlook Hotel are valid as a means of unnerving the viewer on a subliminal level. I could imagine Kubrick doing that...but it's definitely not a retelling of the Minotaur myth as one commentator would have us believe. Worth a look but don't expect to learn too much about The Shining itself.

Cursed (2020)

I wanted to like this so much more than I did.

[5/10 · 29 July 2020]

I really like retellings of stories about King Arthur. They've been retold for so long, even the established mythology is a retelling. I'm no purist, however good performances and strong visuals cannot make up for the fact that Cursed is a hot mess that never quite decides what it wants to be. Is this appealing to Game of Thrones fans or those of Shadowhunters? In trying to appeal to many, it is probably going to please only a few. There is only so far you can take a retelling from the source material before it becomes a completely separate entity. Had this foregone the idea of being a retelling of Arthurian legend and instead been a completely original fantasy story, it might have been better. This is one occasion where a retelling just can't compete with the timeless story it's based on. It's not awful, just instantly forgettable and I imagine this may well one show that doesn't get a second season.

The Charnel House (2016)

Unoriginal The Shining rip off.

[4/10 · 12 July 2020]

I put this on as some background noise for when I was doing other things. To be fair to the film, it did the job. We've all seen it before. Family moves into building with a dark past✅ Child gets "imaginary" friend✅ One parent becomes possessed and therefore a threat✅ Wise character of colour knows exactly what is going on and is ultimately injured trying to protect the child ✅ It's pedestrian, horror-by-numbers stuff. It's all been done so much better too, which isn't to say it's an awful film, just unoriginal. The effects aren't awful and the acting standard is sufficient to tell the story. It will kill 90 minutes of your time if nothing else.

13 Reasons Why (2017–2020)

Should have quit whilst it was still ahead.

[6/10 · 3 July 2020]

My rating would have been higher had I only based it on the first two seasons. Only the first season is a direct adaptation of the source material; a thought-provoking novel that looks at how our actions, either small and unintentional or serious and deliberate, can have devastating effects on others. The second season elaborates on this as it looks at the inquest that follows Hannah Baker's suicide and if the school had failed her. It's still a strong season. Then we hit season 3 "Who Killed Bryce?" From hereon in it descends into teen angsty soap that treats the same issues in a melodramatic way and by season 4 there are moments that are simply sensationalistic and poorly researched. Why spend a long time establishing that these characters are intellectually and emotionally intelligent, only to contradict that and have them behave in ways that undermine that? Earlier on in the run, sensitive subjects are handled well. By the end we get every possible issue the writers could think of thrown into the mix; the threat of high school shootings, AIDS, and it just seems to be box ticking with no real depth or exploration like in the first two seasons. Yes, 13 Reasons Why has been a ratings winner for Netflix, but it should have bowed out after the first two seasons. I would have given it 9* had that been the case.

Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan (2013)

Don't be put off by low ratings!

[3/10 · 1 July 2020]

The acting is questionable. The CGI is unpolished. The script is predictable. It makes Sharknado look like Hamlet. DON'T LET ANY OF THIS PUT YOU OFF!!! I wanted something lowbrow and silly to kill a bit of time one afternoon in lockdown. That is exactly what I got. This film knows it's not high art nor even a particularly great horror movie, but it seems to revel in what it is and doesn't pretend to be anything other than that. If you want a B-movie that is cheesier than cheddar fried in Monterey Jack, that is exactly what Axe Giant is going to give you, unashamedly and in bucket loads. Best enjoyed with friends and a few drinks!

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)

Feel-good film with its heart in the right place.

[8/10 · 29 June 2020]

It's not the funniest or the most original film but I found this to be hugely entertaining and likeable. Both a tongue in cheek parody and heartfelt homage to Eurovision, it may be predictable, but it's predictable in the same sense that you know what your favourite cake is going to taste like, but you are still looking forward to eating it! Whilst there is a lot in here for ESC fans (cameos from ESC stars), it's something non-fans can enjoy too. My friend expected to hate it, but within ten minutes was completely won over. Two hours may seem long for a comedy, but I got caught up in the story and it didn't drag. Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams make endearing leads and have great chemistry as Lars and Sigrit, the underdogs who may not be as talentless as everyone thinks. Edinburgh looks great in the movie too. My title for the review sums it up well. I can see this fast becoming my go-to feel-good film.

A Viking Saga: The Darkest Day (2013)

Not what you might expect.

[7/10 · 28 May 2020]

There are a lot of low rated reviews on here. I understand why. The poster artwork and indeed the title make it look as if this film is going to be very much like an episode of Vikings with lots of epic battle scenes. If that is what you are expecting, you will be disappointed. The story is a slow burner with more dialogue than action. However for me, this was no bad thing. A big theme in the film is that of religious belief and how it can make some behave, at best, unwisely. The violence of the warband isn't glamourised, but equally the idealism of the monks is shown as foolish. Both sides risk their lives for a book. A very beautiful book, but a book nonetheless, and faith is more than ink and parchment. We see also that both Christians and pagans misunderstood one another. It's only when the characters talk about belief that there can be better understanding. The main character is ultimately forced to questions how he approaches his beliefs, the final act having become something akin to a tale of revenge, something that would have been at odds with his training as a novice monk. Does he ultimately win if he has had to compromise his beliefs so much that he will kill? This film owes a slight debt at least to Brian Bates' wonderful book The Way of Wyrd, another story that examines belief in England at a time when Christianity and paganism overlapped. The cinematography is very muted; almost monochrome at times, but this only added to the bleak aspects of the story. I very much enjoy Vikings and The Last Kingdom but this is a different beast entirely; smaller budget, smaller cast, slower and grounded in what the characters say, rather than what they do. This is not the film for you if you just want action, but if you want something that will make you think about how raids impacted upon the people of Dark Ages England, this relatively short film is worth 90 minutes of your time. I plan on watching it again.

The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973 TV Movie)

Don't be put off by 3 stars!!!

[3/10 · 24 May 2020]

Seriously, don't be put off by 3 stars. It is not a good film, not even by the standards of the time it was made, but it is hugely entertaining, even if not for the intended reasons. I first saw this on TV when I was probably 6 years old. At the time I was a bit scared of it. I hadn't seen it in almost forty years when I found it online a couple of nights ago. I couldn't not watch it. It's truly cringe worthy, everything from the dialogue, the premise, the social attitudes of the time, the acting and the special effects. It doesn't work as a horror film anymore, if indeed it ever did. However it's hugely entertaining in the "so bad it's good " kind of way. Whatever budget they had probably got spent on Shatner's toupees! At the time it was made, two genres were popular; disaster films and films about possession (The Exorcist was another release of 1973). Some bright spark had the idea of combining the two, to a hugely amusing effect! My friend and I laughed from start to finish. As bad as it is, it has cult movie written across it. Watching it, I realized just how well observed Airplane is. I kept expecting the characters to make deliberate, deadpan jokes. Get friends together with a few drinks and have fun watching this. Yes, the dog dies, but in this film, that too manages to be ridiculous.

Viking Destiny (2018)

Surprise...it wasn't bad!

[6/10 · 20 May 2020]

I first became aware of this film when I saw it on sale for £5 in my local supermarket. Such films tend not to be watchable so I decided not to buy it. During the lockdown I knew I would get through a lot of films, good and bad, so I decided to give it a go. I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, some of the acting is not great. Some of the dialogue is questionable ("Would you care to join us for turnips?" - although I may have to use that one as a chat-up line). It's not a film that is going to be winning any major awards. But guess what? I don't think it's trying to. Here is a film that knows exactly what it is; a fun way to kill 90 minutes or so. Inevitable comparisons will be made between Vikings and Game of Thrones. As much as I like both of those shows, this film is on par or a little better than some of their weaker episodes. It's undemanding, has some beautiful scenery and Anna Demetriou provides us with a very likeable heroine. It clearly didn't have a big budget or a Citizen Kane calibre script, but the filmmakers and actors seem to have done the best with what was available. If historical fantasy is to your liking you could do much worse than Viking Destiny.