oldskoolgeek Reviews

Girl, Positive (2007 TV Movie)

Teens are going to have sex

[7/10 · 12 June 2008]

OK, I'll admit that I only started watching this movie because I was bored, nothing else was on, and I'm a Jennie Garth fan from her 90210 days, but once I started watching it I was hooked. At first I kept checking the TV guide to see when this movie came out, part of me couldn't believe that it was just made last year in 2007 -- attention to HIV and AIDS sadly seems so yesterday. When I was in the 8th grade we put condoms on bananas, watched Salt n' Peppa's "Let's Talk About Sex" video in class, and talked about people like Ryan White and Magic Johnson. I don't know about my peers, but it definitely made an impression on me. I'm 29 now and I can't believe how safe sex seems so passé. One would think that as more time passed this issue would continue to be one people would talk about, but it appears to be the opposite. People may talk more about sex thanks to shows and movies like "Sex and the City," but these only provide "shocking" entertainment for some and usually never addresses the consequences. In our country's conservative climate I almost feel as if we are back in the 80's where people are completely in the dark when it comes to factual information about HIV and AIDS. What's even more disturbing is Hollywood's rampant trend of young pregnancies, presented in a glamorous fashion. Everyone knows that teens are going to have sex (so let's stop pushing abstinence), but now having unprotected sex in order to get pregnant seems almost in vogue in today's media and no one is talking about STDs anymore.

I thought that this film was a very realistic and modern take on what seems like the forgotten HIV/AIDs discussion and I would think it would appeal to today's teen. They did not tip-toe around the subject of sex, or portray the girls who engaged in sexual activity in a negative light -- it was honest and very up to date, in my opinion. I think that schools should stop pretending that kids cannot handle this information or that they live in a bubble where sex or STDs do not happen. This film should be shown in sex ed classes to get an important discussion going.

Hot Fuzz (2007)

Brilliant!

[10/10 · 27 April 2007]

I am a huge fan of "Shaun of the Dead" so when I heard about "Hot Fuzz" coming out I knew immediately that I'd want to see it. The problem is that I only heard about recently – it's a shame that it hasn't gotten the marketing and advertising it deserves. I swear that crap reviewed movie "Next" has a commercial every break but I think I only saw a handful of commercials for "Hot Fuzz" and most of them promoted it in the wrong way.

Anyway, back to the review, I don't think that this movie was as sharp as "Shaun of the Dead," however, it was still the best movie I've seen this year and the funniest movie I've seen in a long time. Everything was done in superb excess from the violence to the profanity to the over the top graphic gags. I have missed films that overindulge in the use of the whip pan, crash zoom and jump cut and I can't think of a better comic duo than Pegg and Frost. My only real complaint is that the ending got a bit long and I would've cut it a little sooner, but still even with that the movie is hilarious.

Truly a must see!

Dreamgirls (2006)

Surprisingly campy!

[6/10 · 26 December 2006]

After all the wonderful things I heard about this movie (the Golden Globes nods, the Oscar buzz) and the fact I'm an American Idol fan as well as a fan of Beyonce, I really wanted to like this movie, but by the time the closing credits rolled I found myself laughing with the rest of the audience about the sheer campiness of this flick. The characters were so clichéd and everything so melodramatic that I can't believe reviews praising this film for its fine acting and originality. By the end it was so over the top that at least the crowd I was with found it hard to take anything seriously. Jennifer Hudson is, of course, the stand out role and she really gives a show-stopping performance at one point that had the audience applauding, but it was her voice that received this reaction. Eddie Murphy was probably the next most interesting character, but nearly everyone else was considered laughable. Beyonce is a dead-ringer for Diana Ross by the end and the girl can sing, but if this is supposed to be Academy Award worthy acting then I must say she did a much better performance in Austin Power's Goldmember.

All and all the most overrated movie of the year, I'd wait for it on DVD before paying to see it in the theater.

Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Aren't indie flicks supposed to be original?

[6/10 · 10 September 2006]

With all the hype surrounding this film I went expecting to see the best movie I'd see all year, but nearly two hours later when the credits rolled I felt cheated. Following yet another road trip taken by a dysfunctional family, "Little Miss Sunshine" is at times painfully predictable and sadly unoriginal. The family itself is so generic in its dysfunction: there's the the ineffectual motivational-speaker dad who hates losers (meaning he secretly hates his family), the stressed out mom, the chubby 7-year-old daughter with beauty pageant dreams, the brooding Nietzsche-reading teen, the suicidal gay uncle, and the drug-abusing horny grandpa who decides he's old enough to say whatever he wants. As you might expect, EVERYTHING on this trip goes wrong. Along the way to the beauty pageant, each family member is confronted with expectations and rude awakenings. What is supposed to be an ensemble piece about a family never quite comes together and we are left with a series of scenes meant to showcase a particular cast member's talent, but the problem is no one really reacts or relates to anyone else. The one sweet scene between Grandpa and 7-year-old Olive is a relief, but also feels glaringly underlined by the director. As an audience member I didn't miss any of these heartfelt scenes, but I didn't buy them either. So that I don't sound like I'm trashing a film that I almost enjoyed, I should give credit where credit is due. Part of the film's obvious irony is that depressed Uncle Frank (played by Steve Carell) is the only person who can see how weird this family is, but watching his calm bewilderment is a delight. Toni Collete is also so darn likable, but I was bored with just about any scene that focused entirely on father Greg Kinnear's character. The finale at the beauty pageant exaggerates and replays all the lessons that have come before: such competitions are superficial, and displays of love come in all forms. The family embraces its loserdom and becomes winners by showing how grotesque the child beauty pageant world is – wow, now that's a fresh idea! The film saves its one big laugh for the end, but it was too little too late. While it had its moments, Little Miss Sunshine isn't as wacky or clever as it believes itself to be and this ticket holder walked away disappointed.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Full of thrills and action, but lacks the charm of the original

[5/10 · 10 July 2006]

As a big fan of the original flick I have been waiting sometime for Dead Man's Chest to come out, but was disappointed when I heard of some of the negative reviews. After viewing Dead Man's Chest yesterday I can understand what critics were saying. The first "Pirates" was an exciting fast paced ride and featured strong performances from all of the lead actors. However, this installment of "Pirates" is pretty much all special effects and nonstop action with little attention paid to the actual plot. It seems as if the director had no real storyline planned and just strung together a series of exciting scenes loosely connected by weak dialogue. The cast's talents are wasted: Jack's performance feels half-hearted, Will Turner barely comes across as our hero, and Elizabeth's scenes feel like an afterthought. Their screen magic that made the first movie a success is replaced here for multimillion dollar computer generated technology. Overstaged by special effects, Davy Jones isn't close to the same villain as Rush's Barbossa. Not to mention there were only half the amount of laughs. All in all, this film (which at 150 minutes plus 40 minutes of previews is just way too long) feels like it will only act as a wobbly bridge to connect the first and third film -- and I hope they take more care with storyline in the final installment. While Depp was nominated for an Oscar for his work in the The Curse of the Black Pearl, I see no academy nods in store for this summer popcorn flick.

The Terminal (2004)

schmaltz at its worst

[1/10 · 22 August 2005]

Spielberg must be loosing his touch. When you look at the list of other films he has directed this stinker sticks out like an ugly, unfunny thumb that desperately needs to be amputated. Despite being based on a true story, the writers managed to take an interesting, heartbreaking concept and make it hollywoodized with unbelievable scenes around every corner and a sappy romantic twist that no one can stomach. We all know Spielberg can do great things, especially great drama so why he didn't do a serious spin on the true story I don't know. I honestly cannot think of one positive thing to say about this movie. I feel stupider for having watched it. Avoid like the plague.

Upright Citizens Brigade (1998–2000)

Seriously f***ed up sketch comedy

[27 November 2004]

An absolutely hilarious sketch comedy series that followed in the foot steps of "Monty Python's Flying Circus" and "Kids in the Hall" where being absurd is a large part of being funny. The show was smart, fresh and well written with a seamless conclusion at the end of each episode where all the sketches would come together. Unfortunately, the show was too funny for the average Comedy Central viewer (who worshiped stale fart jokes from "South Park") and it was canceled. Thanks to a large fan base season 1 was released in 2003, but Comedy Central (currently the home of 24/7 reruns of Mad-TV) has not mentioned any plans to release the following two seasons.

Love Actually (2003)

Barf.

[1/10 · 2 June 2004]

Love was everywhere except my living room where I viewed this piece of crap.

I haven't seen an ensemble cast movie this bad since 'America's Sweethearts' -- and this had better actors.

There was no character development, no plot line other than the fact all of this junk happens around xmas. The 'jokes' are forced as are the emotions. There is no visible conclusion to the scenario with Rickman's character's marriage and with all the talk about deleted scenes I hope there was some sort of close, but I would rather have my eyeballs sucked out than sit through any of the 80 minutes of director's cut.

When it comes to the anti-American stuff – who cares? We're portrayed as a country of lust filled vixens and an over sexed president, that's not so bad, but I would hope to think someone as nasty as Billy Bob never gets elected.

For the reviewer who wrote 'For romantics only' – get over it. If you think this is romantic then you probably still live with your parents and attend junior high. Yes, we go to the movies for the escape, but not for lobotomies. As for the person who wrote the kid running through the airport was lucky he wasn't shot, my husband and I were rooting for the security guards (and hoped they were packing AK47s).

The people who enjoy this schmaltz and give tripe like this high ratings should be drowned actually.

The Sweetest Thing (2002)

The Worst Thing Ever

[1/10 · 5 October 2003]

I couldn't agree more with the reviewer who wrote "Wasn't expecting much, got even less." The only reason why I watched this piece of crap was because I was sick, unable to sleep and it was the only thing on. How I wish now that I had drank a bottle of Nyquil instead of subjecting myself to this lame excuse for "comedy."

For those of you who think that anyone who doesn't like this movie is a prude or has a problem with vulgarity, you're wrong. We simply don't like movies that appeal to the lowest common denominators. Comedy comes in all forms but the thing is it HAS TO BE FUNNY to actually be a comedy. I did not laugh once during the 90 minute torture session. The 'movie montage' scene is proof enough that the director gave up on this crapfest.

In my opinion the worst part was in the bathroom with the 'glory hole' scene. I assume the only reason why this was included in the movie was to "shock" viewers who didn't know they existed. BORING! "The Sweetest Thing" tried to copy the Farrelly bros. humor and failed completely. I wouldn't have paid Nancy Pimental a buck fifty for this pathetic script, much less 1.5 million. Do not hesitate to never see this movie.

The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

I liked it better the first time, when it was called ‘Superman'

[4/10 · 19 May 2003]

***Spoilers contained in this rant*** The most over-hyped movie I can think of in the last few years. An unoriginal, uninspiring action flick. I did not misunderstand it. I knew going in that it didn't have an ending and would be continued, that did not bother me (The LOTR didn't have an ending either and I liked it). The fact that it did not have a plot and relied completely on the first movie for everything is what bothered me. With the whole "What is the Matrix?" gimmick out of the way, what's left? Not much is the answer.

It's funny is how a film with no story is so full of pseudo intellectualism. The endless parade of new characters to explain what just happened if you're too stupid to `get it.' I got it alright; I just didn't care by that point. A feel sorry for the actor who played the French guy for all the hate mail I'm sure he'll receive. I hate to think of how much money was wasted on filming the chocolate cake scene.

Several of the fight scenes looked as if they had been lifted straight from a video game. The Matrix fight scenes were fresh when it came out, but now that so many movies like MI2 or Charlie's Angles have copied the fighting style we need something more to impress us. I feel that computer animated sfx should help a movie, but movies that rely on it entirely bore me. Why even get actors to play the part? What's the point? It looked so much like a cartoon too often and when it didn't it looked like a rip off of another movie: Superman, T2, Die Hard, etc. The party and sex scene made me feel as if I was watching a video on MTV.

At the end I burst into laughter as Neo (who swooped in ala Superman) tries to massage Trinity's heart to bring her back to life. I felt like yelling, `Why don't you just fly around the Earth backwards?!' since it looked like he was massaging her breast with the computer animation. Plus, she was dying of a bullet wound, not a heart attack!

The whole time I was jealous of the people I saw asleep because I was so bored but not tired enough to go sleep!

Death to Smoochy (2002)

Death is too good for stinker Smoochy

[3/10 · 29 March 2002]

Particularly unfunny.

Perhaps if this movie came out 10 years ago or so when `Barney' hit the scene, `Smoochy' would've hit the mark, but instead it misses its ambiguous target. As you might've guessed, the `Barney' and `Teletubbies' references are ancient and are relied all throughout for a non-existent laugh.

Robin Williams is a great comic actor but his talents are terribly wasted in this film. He wears out his welcome almost immediately and resorts to ad-libbing penis jokes in front of children. It becomes irritatingly clear that the `dark and demented' DeVito's idea of satire is dated pop-culture allusions and having people who make children's shows drop the f-bomb every other word. Weak. Williams is supposed to be loathsome, but he's so good at it it's not fun.

Edward Norton is too sugary to swallow and Catherine Keener does more eye-rolling than acting (plus they have no romantic chemistry whatsoever). DeVito is a stereotype, Jon Stewart is barely used, and Harvey Fierstein doesn't cut it as a gangster. Sure, there were a few funny moments (I laughed good and hard at the `Step-dad Song') but those moments were few and far between as the characters are too one-dimensional and all the bright colors were giving me a headache.

Maybe instead of attacking the commercialism of kid's programming, DeVito could've done better by going after the movie theater industry's overpriced popcorn and soda I consumed while watching this junk. At least that would've seemed to have a purpose. Still want to see `Smoochy'? Fine, just save your money and rent it. I guarantee if I had known this film was penned by the same guy who did `Cabin Boy' and `Lucky Numbers' I would've stayed home.

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist (2002)

Instant Cult Classic!

[8/10 · 3 February 2002]

What I really want to know is, to anyone who gave this film a bad review: What were you expecting? Did you even see the commercials or are you just some twit who accidentally wandered into a movie theater expecting Gosford Park?

This movie is awful - but it's supposed to be! This was not some lame Oscar plea like `I Am Sam,' this is a fun movie that doesn't take a thing seriously. Of course the jokes are sophomoric and the sfx are bad (although I think some sort of award should be given out for the seamless editing), but again people, it is supposed to be that way! It totally mocks the kung fu genre and that's what makes it hilarious. I couldn't believe my eyes reading another reviewer's complaints of the `voices being overdubbed and repetitive camera shots' that annoyed them. Do you not understand the concept of funny or have you never witnessed `Riki-Oh the story of Ricky'? I will agree that the ending was dragged out and some scenes in the middle such as the cow fighting scene weren't as funny, but the beginning was hysterical.

This is not a movie for elitists who enjoyed `Mulholland Drive,' and I don't believe this is a movie for the average moviegoer either, but if you were a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000 or USA kung fu theater you're in for a real treat. I am positive that this movie will become a cult classic and favorite among college students. After you see it you will laugh just thinking about it.

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

Funny, but not Rushmore

[7/10 · 15 January 2002]

This rebellious family comedy proves the Anderson and Owen writing team's creativity, but when compared to their 1998 Rushmore it falls a little flat. The cast is loaded with entertaining family members, who each has their moment, but it's Hackman that makes the movie. As father Royal Tenenbaum, Hackman is a hilarious scoundrel who equals good parenting to taking his children to dog fights. Hackman never stops and truly deserves Oscar recognition for this roll. He does for this film what Bill Murray did for Rushmore; however, it just isn't enough. The last half-hour slows down and takes a dark turn – the ending picks back up, yet by then it seems too late. The bottom line is that The Royal Tenenbaums lacks the liveliness and unity of Rushmore and reminds me more of Bottle Rocket – another very funny Anderson and Owen film that unfortunately comes off feeling a little incomplete. The fabulous soundtrack and interestingly awkward scene cuts are right on the money though. So it doesn't match up to Rushmore, so what? It still is better than over half of the films released this year.

Mulholland Drive (2001)

Pretentious Piece of Crap

[1/10 · 3 November 2001]

There is nothing to 'get' about this film, trust me, unless it involves the phrase 'how can I get my money back?'

Maybe the fact that there were only four other people in the theater should've tipped me off. 'Mulholland Drive' is an insult to people who enjoy excellent story telling. I've familiar with film noir so don't tell me it's so good that I just don't understand it. Make no mistake: I was not confused, I was bored out of my mind. You are not intellectually superior for liking this movie, you are a moron. Lynch cannot pull the wool over my eyes; there is nothing to experience here. He just wanted to make a movie with two inevitable lesbian sex scenes and even they were boring. This movie is not clever, it is not even interesting and trying to pass it off as 'art' is laughable. A few attractive images do not make a movie. The characters are not convincing and apparently have no direction. Whoever thinks Naomi Watts deserves an Oscar needs to realize that she should go to acting school first.

The first half hour was so slow moving that I lost all interest in the characters and only stayed because after hearing all this garbage about what a great film it was I felt I needed to see the ending. I figured there had to be some sort of resolution. WRONG! The last hour of the movie derails completely and I wish I just would've followed the other patrons and walked out. Watching bad movies is a hobby of mine, but usually those movies are low budget horror flicks and they are supposed to be bad – perhaps that's why they are more entertaining than this disaster of a film. Thankfully I was able to convince the theater manager to give me a refund.

"Mulholland Drive" is nothing more than Lynch's half-baked notions about the dark side of Hollywood and after watching several of his films I am convinced the man cannot tell a story to save his life. He does not have the gift to make a worthwhile film. Do not watch this movie before operating heavy machinery. I would give it a –3 if I could.

America's Sweethearts (2001)

One of the most unfunny comedies I've ever seen

[1/10 · 20 July 2001]

This movie was painful to sit through because it was just so terrible. I have seen some bad movies, but this "comedy" was so bad that I could hear the couple 8 rows up munching their popcorn the theater was so silent. The jokes are just not funny and I was very disappointed since the talent involved made me expect so much more. I loved Roberts in "Erin Brockovich", Jones was good in "Traffic" and I'm a big fan of Crystal's "When Harry Met Sally." Want to see a good film? See one of those and don't even consider wasting your money on this dud. I felt so cheated at the end the only thing that could've made up for it was to have all the stars in the lobby giving refunds. I give it a "1" and that's only because I can't choose from negative numbers.

Memento (2000)

A Perfect 10! Excellent!

[10/10 · 20 July 2001]

When my boyfriend checked the movie listings and expressed interest in seeing this film, I resisted and mainly because of the fact that I had never heard of it. How can a movie be so good if I have never seen a commercial for it? Where is the advertising? Well, that was back in March and I can tell you that to this day I have never seen a commercial for it still, but I have gone to see it in the theaters 3 times (a record for me) and it is the best movie I have seen all year and I go to see almost everything. How can a movie that is told backwards be good if you know the ending first? Trust me, it can be since the ending is a beginning to the puzzle of Lenny. I want to rave about this film, but I don't even know where to start. All I can say is that it is a shame that this movie did not receive the attention it deserves or the theater play (I had to drive quite a distance to see it) when it is so good, while crap like "Swordfish" has commercial spots every 5 minutes. The lesson is advertising means nothing, go see something for yourself.

Troll 2 (1990)

Think of the cholesterol

[1/10 · 17 July 2001]

What do you get when you mix bad acting, a horrible script, and a dozen goofy rubber goblin masks? Troll 2. The only rule you must keep in mind while watching is attempt at a movie is: DON'T ASK WHY. If you are confused, just remember that the actors probably were too.

The first thing you must accept is that the title of this movie is `Troll 2,' but there are no trolls mentioned anywhere, just goblins. The ONLY connection I can make from the first film is that people do turn into green pods. The next piece of garbage to swallow is the idea that the family is taking a vacation through an `exchange program' where they switch homes with someone in the country. The star, a young boy named Josh, has the weight on his shoulders of not only being the hero, but also being the best actor as well. His mother, who seems to only have one facial expression, forces Josh to sing her favorite song (Row, Row, Row Your Boat) during the car ride to Nilbog. The father is an idiot, and the teen sister delivers her lines as if she had just read them before filming the scene and then there's Grandpa Seth, the family ghost who tries to help them. Trailing the family van is the sister's boyfriend, Elliot, and his friends to look for `liberated Nilbog girls.' In one of her best lines, Holly warns Elliot `If my father knew you were here he'd cut off your little nuts and eat them!' Thank God none of these people had much of a film career afterwards.

The family arrives in the practically deserted and oh-so-clever titled town of Nilbog and meet with the family who they are exchanging homes with. Right away, Josh recognizes that something is wrong and his fears are confirmed when he receives a message from the goblins written on a baseball (???). The family sits down to eat food that looks like it has been covered in mold as Grandpa Seth appears to tell Josh that the food will turn them into goblins food and he will stop time for 30 seconds for Josh to do something. Torn, Josh stands on his chair crying `I must do it!' while unzipping his pants. The angry father carries Josh upstairs to deliver one of his great lines `You can't p**s on hospitality - I won't allow it!' and tightens his belt a loop while challenging his young son to a hunger strike.

Elliot's friends (who he sleeps naked with?) head out one by one looking for food, but don't realize that coffee is the devil's drink in Nilbog. Arnold believes that there must be `a logical explanation for all of this,' but the only explanation I can think of is that the script was the result of a drug-induced hallucination. Grandpa Seth can stop time, but just can't seem to find Josh's room in the house, the father falls asleep outside the general store while looking at a cookbook, and Josh overhears the townspeople complaining about the `smelly bladders' of humans. When the family is confronted by the townspeople with more Nilbog food, one of Grandpa Seth's solutions is - of course - to give his young grandson a molotov cocktail! And what about Elliot's friends? Forget about them, it is obvious that the director certainly has towards the end.

Of course, the best part of this movie is the end, which is fairly anti-climatic, but hilarious. Afterwards, the movie pretty much drops off without much explanation to an even more `shocking' ending. Amazingly enough, the director made this 93 minute fiasco seem like an eternity, but don't let any of this deter you. If you love watching bad flicks, don't hesitate to run out to your video store now searching for it. The entertainment you receive from the interesting love scene with corn is worth the rental fee alone. In my opinion this one belongs right up there next to `Manos.'

Cheerleader Camp (1988)

The picture on the box is scarier

[1/10 · 18 June 2001]

I believe the writers of this film started off knowing that they wanted some boob shots and a "sex scene" at a cheerleader camp and then wrote a "horror" plot around it.

We rented it just because we saw that Leif Garrett was one of the stars -- and he's just as believable as a horny high schooler as the fact that you will never guess who the killer is! The cheerleaders spend more time swimming and laying out in the sun than practicing their cheers (although Garrett's rap was bad enough that I only needed to hear him practice it once) and the main character Alison wonders around into creepy shacks in the woods looking for soda.

Of course, like most horror films, the characters are stupid, but the sheer idiocy these "cheerleaders" display will make you laugh out loud. The gore is silly unless getting your wrists slashed by pom-poms frightens you. Finally, undoubtedly, the hysterical pep-rally-like "sex scene" is what makes this movie worth seeing. If you're looking for a scare, pass this one up, but check it out if you and your friends are looking for a funny slasher flick that is nothing but pure cheese.

Death Race 2000 (1975)

vroom vroom splat!

[1/10 · 18 June 2001]

I knew this rental was a winner the second the horrible warped soundtrack started playing and the amazing graphics with the Death Race 2000 logo appeared.

As others have mentioned, the best part about this movie is its originality -- it's "Carmageddon" years ahead of its time. Aside from that, it is interesting that long scarfs and poofy pants were projected to be popular in 2000, Nazi racecar drivers are cheered on, the pit stop breaks are for oily massages and boob shots, and the fact that each shot looks like it was filmed in the same location -- no matter what state they say it's in. Add a very cheesy futuristic backdrop into the first scene that is never used again and you have Death Race 2000.

I agree that the least interesting part of this film is Paine's resistance, but that is made up for by Sly's terrific performance. The best scene is where Frankenstein and his navigator are in the bedroom (which oddly looks like a high school gym with bedroom furniture) and he removes his mask, strips down to his leather underwear, crosses the room (cue sexy 70's music) and asks her if she cares to dance when he turns around and suddenly has his mask back on! Editing??

So rent this one with your friends, sit back and be prepared to watch some very fake "gore," goofy dialogue, and sped up racing scenes as you yell "what the hell?!!" at your TV set.

Strays (1991 TV Movie)

Better than going to class...

[1/10 · 27 May 2001]

A couple years ago while in college, my roommate and I were flipping channels before heading off to a history class we were both enrolled in. That day we never made it to class because USA was showing this as its afternoon movie and we became so entertained by the crappiness of this film that we didn't dare leave before seeing the conclusion. You will want to slap Kathleen Quinlan silly for the way she freaks out -- so what, you have some stray cats in your house, she let them in the house in the first place!!! I forget where her husband is during all of this, but other people who come to help and investigate are put out of commission by these violent kitties. One of my favorite scenes is where she goes to look for her "baby" (who is like a 5 year old girl) in the crib and there is nothing but cats to be found and Quinlan freaks out as if they had eaten her ugly daughter. If you are looking for something scary, don't even consider this because the supposed suspense and chills are nonexistent -- but it was good for a laugh and skipping a boring class.