jcm800 Reviews

Run Hide Fight (2020)

Unwatchable bad in every way

[1/10 · 26 February 2021]

Terrible acting from all. Ridiculous cliched scenarios. I knew it was garbage after about 5 minutes, but I kept watching to see how bad it could get. And it got way worse. I don't understand how this kind of garbage gets made. It must have been directed by 5 year olds. Treat Williams and Rahda Mitchell should be ashamed of themselves. I guess everyone needs to make a buck. Thankfully I fell asleep before it was over. Horrible.

Silence (I) (2016)

Boring, could not wait for it to end

[1/10 · 25 January 2017]

I would call myself a Scorsese fan, but I would not call myself a fan of this movie. I couldn't wait for it to end. I don't know which bothered me more, the christians praying to a god that never comes, or the buddhists with dumb haircuts killing christians for not being buddhists. The first thing that came to mind for me was "If we believe in absurdities we shall commit atrocities". I seriously doubt promoting atheism was Mr. Scorsese's intent, but that's what I got from this sleeping pill of a movie. And Andrew Garfield is as wooden as they come in my opinion and his voice is irritating to boot, sorry dude. I hated that other movie he was just in that everyone thinks is so great Hacksaw Ridge too. I imagine at this stage of the game, Martin Scorsese can do anything he damn well pleases, which explains for me why this bad movie was made.

Arsenal (2017)

Really bad Nicholas Cage time

[1/10 · 7 January 2017]

Let Me start by saying that I like good shoot em up violent crime movies, but this was not one of them by any stretch. It's going to be hard to comment on anything other than how BAD Nicholas Cage was in this movie. I will start with the false nose. I had trouble figuring out if I was watching Pinocchio or Cyrano De Bergerac or Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. And to make matters worse, the wig He was wearing was almost as bad. You would think that the costumer could have at least TRIED to make it work. I don't know if his moustache is fake or not, but it looked dumb also and don't even get me started on that bad accent. The acting was really horrible as well, I mean this guy won an Oscar for keerists sake! And a well deserved Oscar it was too. This makes the second terrible film I have seen Cage in over a couple of months. The other movie was Dog Eat Dog with another actor I used to really like Willem Dafoe. I turned that one off before it was over also. I went back and finished this one just to see if it could get any worse. I like John Cusack quite a bit too, but he is a non starter in this one and we don't see much of him in it anyway. He looks kind of silly saying F bombs like he is some kind of tough guy. I'm all for foul language used appropriately, which in this movie it is NOT. The movie sound was pretty good, if the movie was not involved and I liked some of the slo-mo gunshots and carnage. Finally, the two brothers can't throw a baseball for shiite :-) Bad Movie, Bad Nicholas Cage, BAD!

Bones Brigade: An Autobiography (2012)

Killer! Don't Miss It :-)

[10/10 · 2 January 2013]

I grew up at the same time as these people in the movie and I was hardcore into skateboarding just like all of them. I had to buy the magazines to see them all doing their thing though because we didn't have camcorders and youtube back then. Anyway, I happily paid my $20 clams to purchase an HD copy of the film and watched it on the edge of my seat like a little kid in a candy store. It did not disappoint :-) I had no idea there was all of this drama behind the scenes, that was a real eye opener. The skating is very cool and the interviews are dynamite and it was a very fun trip down memory lane for me. The film is very interesting and engaging even if you are not all that into skateboards. 2 Thumbs Up from me and thanks very much to Stacy Peralta and the rest of the riders and crew that brought this excellent film to life!

What We Do Is Secret (2007)

Trainwreck, absolute rubbish and hopes dashed . . .

[3/10 · 23 January 2009]

I was excited to see this title showing up on Netflix and I promptly rented it. I knew the movie was being made after reading some articles on various music related web sites that referenced it. I was always curious about Darby because I grew up in the late 70's and early 80's and I saw and read about him in many magazines I read at the time. I was an angst filled teenager in 1977 and I followed many of the punk bands that were born in the Los Angeles/San Francisco scene. I was also a skateboard freak at the time as were a lot of the punks.

I was never a big Germs fan thinking back. I had the album "The Decline Of Western Civilization" when it came out back then and I thought the Germs portion of the record was cool, but I was more of a Circle Jerks, Black Flag kind of guy. I respected the Germs contribution of course and I was amused by Darby's antics, but he always struck me as a Sid Vicious wannabe. I did the same thing. Sid was our hero, don't ask me why. Maybe it was because he was more the anti-hero.

Anyway, back to the movie. I have a lot of fond memories of the era and I thought this would be a nice trip down memory lane. I was mistaken. The actors were absolutely cartoonish to the point of laughable. The Darby actor was the only realistic character in the film to my mind, and that's being kind. The Claude Bessy was horrible and the Rodney Bingenheimer was atrocious. I mean Rodney is kinda weird anyway, but this portrayal made me groan OUT LOUD at how bad it was. Come to think of it, the whole movie sucked so much ass that I kept fighting the impulse to turn it off. Shameful and terrible film with the only good thing in the movie being some of the music.

If you want Germs info, read the books Lexicon Devil and We Got The Neutron Bomb and watch the Decline movie on Google.

The Dark Knight (2008)

Way over-hyped, not anywhere near as good as rated

[7/10 · 10 December 2008]

OK, first off let me say that I am NOT a comic book fan at all. I liked the Batman TV show, even though looking back at it now, it shows it's age and it is ambiguously gay. I would normally not watch a movie like this but I decided to keep an open mind and I sat down last night to see what all the hubbub was. The movie looks good and the acting performances are well done. I like Gary Oldman a lot and I liked his character probably the best of the bunch. I just don't feel it from Christian Bale at all. I think people have blown Heath Ledger's performance way, way out of proportion as well. Some of the reviews I read border on the ridiculous with the accolades for this performance. I would call it adequate at best. Maggie Gyllenhaal does absolutely nothing for me either frankly. Every time I saw her I was thinking "What the hell is *she* doing in this movie?" I didn't like the bat-mobile and the FX were well done but too scarce. How on earth this movie got rated at past 8 on IMDb is beyond me, it just isn't that good. Apparently you have to be a comic book snob to fully appreciate this picture and rate it a "masterpiece", because it isn't.

Funny Games (2007)

Horrible, avoid at all costs. Nothing to see here folks, keep moving.

[1/10 · 6 August 2008]

Wow, I can't believe I didn't turn this piece of dung off. What a terrible movie, absolutely atrocious. How this even got made is beyond comprehension. I will admit I wouldn't have mind seeing the 2 "evil" boys in this skinned alive after about 5 minutes of their retarded scam. Unfortunately the 2 completely retarded clowns don't get theirs and the audience is left in the balance. I did not waste any perfectly good money at the theater for this disaster, but I definitely would have walked out after 30 minutes and demanded my money back. How do things like this see the light of day? Everyone involved in this should be ashamed of themselves. One of the worst pictures I have ever had the misfortune of seeing. Ranks right up there next to Nacho Libre as one of the worst movies ever made!

Doomsday (I) (2008)

Fun filled, action packed

[7/10 · 6 August 2008]

I didn't have very high hopes for this picture but it turned out to be a lot of fun and very enjoyable. Some of the dialog is hard to understand because of the British accents, but I had a good time and I wasn't really concerned with figuring out some complicated plot. The effects are well done and plentiful. I know it sounds like a combination of Mad Max, Escape From New York and various other films would be a recipe for disaster but I was pleasantly surprised with this one. My 17 year old son and I really enjoyed it. The actors are pretty much unknowns in terms of American cinema, with the exception of Bob Hoskins, but they all did a good job. I really liked this movie and I enjoyed the other Neil Marshall I have seen "The Descent".

Diary of the Dead (2007)

Terrible, don't waste your time. This movie sucks.

[3/10 · 29 April 2008]

I am a big fan of gore and zombie flicks and George Romero is something of an icon in the genre. His latest offering is terrible. This movie sucks in every conceivable way. The actors are nobodies that nobody cares about and I was hopeful that they all would end up dead before the movie was over. There are a few good gore shots but not near enough to make this horrible movie worth watching. The hand held home movie point of view angle is worn out and simply distracting, not that there is anything worth watching in this movie. I had higher hopes for a film from Mr. Romero and I was disappointed to say the least. Absolute rubbish, don't bother seeing this.

In the Land of Women (2007)

Warm and heartfelt and humorous

[8/10 · 5 March 2008]

I mainly watched this because I am a Kristen Stewart fan and I wanted to see what other types of roles she is taking. I also like Meg Ryan a bunch. This was an unexpected joy to watch. Adam Brody plays a young man just dumped by his girlfriend so he decides to move in with his Grandmother (Olivia Dukakis) and that's where the picture starts taking shape. It was very nice to see Olympia in a picture and she does a wonderful job playing a rather odd grandmother character. Very well done and funny as hell. The rest of the story circles the women in the house across the street. All of the female characters are interesting and well acted and the subject matter is thought provoking and familiar. The young daughter Paige (Makenzie Vega) was very cool and different, great performance. There are numerous amusing anecdotes interspersed at good times and warm moments are frequent and well acted. Good movie and positive vibes when it was over.

Across the Universe (2007)

Great music and great film work

[7/10 · 25 February 2008]

If you even remotely like The Beatles as a band you should have no problem enjoying this film. Some people think that Beatles music is like Holy Scripture and should not be interpreted in any way shape or form. Those types of snobs won't like this picture. I found the performances of the material great and enjoyed the way the songs were woven into the context of the motion picture. There are some gorgeous computer graphics used tastefully. I also think the film has considerable artistic merit in a film making sense. Now I don't as a general rule like musicals per se, but this was well done and the fact that the music is Beatles music put the movie over the top for me and I enjoyed it thoroughly. As always, your mileage may vary.

Cloverfield (2008)

Bring your barf bag and aspirin

[4/10 · 25 February 2008]

My Son and I went and saw this a couple of weeks ago and by the time I left the theater I thought I was gonna puke and I had a headache. This movie's liberal use of hand held camera was probably the reason for my sickness. I didn't get any kind of similar reaction from The Blair Witch project at all. Anyway, the movie was good as far as the quality of the acting and the other budget related technical details. It was definitely a switch from the usual mega budget comic book character meets the silver screen, which I applaud. I'm not a comic book fan to begin with, but I am definitely sick and tired of all those types of movies. The premise has been well outlined by others, but basically this is Godzilla attacks New York filmed by hand held camera. It's well done and it made for good entertainment, but motion sickness sufferers be warned, its a bumpy ride.

There Will Be Blood (2007)

Dynamite! Great picture, don't miss it.

[10/10 · 24 February 2008]

Somebody out there in Hollywood is getting the message that we, as a movie going audience, have had enough of comic book characters on the big screen. At least I hope so anyway. This is movie making magic right here. A compelling story, Oscar caliber acting and all the other bells and whistles that make for great motion pictures. Daniel Day Lewis does an amazing job of bringing the character Daniel Plainview to life. His performance was so intense that you can tell that he immersed himself in the idea of being this man on the screen. I have heard some complaints about the musical score, but I found it to be perfect. The haunting and almost alien sounds that were coming out of the speakers created the perfect mood to go along with the mind blowing movie. I actually said out loud to myself a few times "Oh man, that music is f'd up, I love it!" Don't miss this one folks, it's terrific and gives me renewed hope that Hollywood is on the right track.

No Country for Old Men (2007)

Greatest picture I have seen in a long time

[9/10 · 15 February 2008]

I just realized I have made several negative comments on pictures recently and that perhaps I should post a positive review to shake things up a bit.

After I watched this picture for the first time, I took pause and reflected on what I had just been through. That's the kind of impact the picture had on me, and it is very rare that a movie makes me take stock after I have seen it. I felt like I had experienced something when the credits were over and the picture went black. The biggest impact was Javier Bardem's portrayal of Anton Chigurh. I heard someone say that they "Were actually frightened at what might happen on the screen every time he came on screen" and I would echo the same feeling. I don't know specifically what it was, but I couldn't wait to see the movie again and I have raved to anyone that would listen about how great the movie is. I see that Javier got a Golden Globe for his role and I certainly hope he nets the Oscar as well. Smashing job by Javier and the Coen brothers and the best picture I have seen since The Departed. I gave it a 9 because I didn't care for the ending. Not to be missed!

Margot at the Wedding (2007)

Horrible waste of time

[1/10 · 14 February 2008]

I just suffered through this mess and I am happy to report the credits rolling. That was the best part of the picture for me, the fact that it was over. Hey I like well acted bad people, but this didn't have either. The only redeeming factors were hearing Nicole Kidman use foul language and a brief masturbation scene with her in it. The whole cast would benefit from being thrown down a trash chute along with the film that recorded this pile of dung. The two children of the horrible parents, if you could even call them parents, struck me as being along for the pathetic ride in both their performance and the role they play. The ridiculous and retarded neighbors may as well have lived in the same house with all of the other pathetic people. Two thumbs down, way down.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Boring, Put me to sleep. Good music though.

[2/10 · 13 January 2007]

Well, what can I say. I don't know much about this Wes Anderson chap that some reviewers are so impressed with. I have seen "Rushmore" and "The Royal Tenenbaums", and I can honestly say that neither of those pictures did anything for me either. The music in this picture is the only strong point I can recall. The Portugese renditions of some of the David Bowie classics were quite enjoyable. As some of the tracks were playing I felt like I had heard the music before, but it had just enough of a flavor change that I couldn't pin down what song was playing in a number of places. I didn't find the characters believable, which I gather is the object in this picture. I wasn't particularly aware of any direction or plot that the picture was pursuing. I guess I don't see what's so funny about Bill Murray frankly. The last picture I remember seeing with him in it was "What about Bob?", and I didn't think that was all that great either. I kinda liked Bill in "Stripes" and I liked him as Todd on the old Saturday Night Live episodes, but this picture did nothing for me at all. I actually couldn't wait for it to be over, so I could say "Yep, I saw that and it sucked." Your mileage may vary.

Rest Stop (2006 Video)

Horrible, Don't Bother With This

[1/10 · 2 November 2006]

Well, it was terrible, but not as bad as Nacho Libre. At least I made it about a half hour into this mess. Perhaps the idea here was to coerce the audience into wanting the female lead murdered in some gruesome way. It worked for me. With every passing moment I was hoping the idiot lead female would fall into a chipper or something. The runaway couple did a lousy job of coming off like high school kids running away from mommy and daddy. Since when do late 20's early 30's people run away from home anyway? The only redeeming moment I recall in the mind numbing amount of time I wasted on this was the mother in the Winnebago. She was so ugly and her voice so annoying that I felt a slight tinge of fright. And it wasn't the gore or violence that blew it for me, because I dig that sort of thing. Miss it at all cost!

Brick (2005)

Hard to follow and basically boring

[3/10 · 30 October 2006]

I saw some good reviews of this picture so I went ahead and gave it a spin. I found the dialog hard to follow in a number of areas. I found the characters unbelievable as others mentioned. The one dude, Pin I think was his name, was a real dork with his duck head cane and one leg longer than the other. The Dickensian cape was an added element of preposterous to an already ridiculous character. I guess what "Brick" actually is would be heroin, but don't hold me to it. I like interesting and obscure dialog like that in Clockwork Orange, but this picture was boring enough that I would never go to the trouble of watching it again to figure out what they are saying. As others have stated, there is nothing clever here and it should be avoided at all costs. At least it's not as bad as Nacho Libre :)

Nacho Libre (2006)

On the list for worst movies ever made.

[1/10 · 10 October 2006]

I really like Jack Black in other pictures, but this was horrible. I would have to put this one in contention for one of the worst movies ever made. The characters are boring. The plot is lame. The acting is terrible. I really don't understand how anybody on the planet could enjoy this. I liked some of Napoleon Dynamite but I just don't get Nacho Libre at all. The female lead is lovely and I enjoyed looking at her, but the rest of the picture is so terrible that I can't even remember her performance, name or anything she does in the film. I'm sure glad I didn't pay to see this, I would have demanded my money back. Absolute rubbish.

As Good as It Gets (1997)

A very warm hearted and beautiful story, not to be missed.

[10/10 · 1 October 2006]

I just finished watching this wonderful picture for probably the 6th time. Being a big Jack Nicholson fan, I am never disappointed by the fantastic job he does in this film. He sways between being a complete ass that you just want to punch in the face, to the most warm and loving poet the world has ever known. Greg Kinnear does a great job in his performance as well. The real standout performance is by Helen Hunt in my opinion. Some of the expressions she makes just touch my heart like no other woman ever has. I think the only portrayal I have ever seen that warms my heart as much is Donna Reed in "It's a wonderful life". When Jack drops the "You make me wanna be a better man" comment on Helen at the restaurant I bust out crying like a little girl with a skinned knee, and i'm not even gay. Helen's portrayal in this movie makes me fall in love with her every single time I see it. Don't miss this Oscar worthy picture. Films like this are a rare commodity in Hollywood these days.

Wilderness (I) (2006)

Some good gore, but generally poor film.

[3/10 · 21 August 2006]

The only reason I could give for wanting to see this film is to admire the gore makeup effects (Not nearly enough). Or you could use it to brush up on your English and Irish accent deciphering (Way too much). The entire lot gets torn to pieces thankfully. :) I can't say as I would bother with this ever again. Your mileage may vary. If you want to see a bully get paid back, you might enjoy a few moments as well. There were no likable characters. There were plenty of characters to hate LOL. The scenery was OK and well lit for the most part. I felt like I could not wait until it was over. The stereotyped skinhead oi kids were portrayed well enough I suppose. The premise is established early. The slaughter begins shortly thereafter.