Change Your Image
chris-4071
Reviews
Addison's Wall (2006)
Incredibly boring
I saw this movie on the strength of the single positive review and I can only imagine that guy is a shill.
The acting of the female lead is actually quite good, but the entire film is just so excruciatingly boring I could hardly bear to sit through it. This is the very definition of dullness.
So far, this film is rated as 8 out of 10 on 7 votes. That must mean the director, director's girlfriend, producer, actress and drinking buddies have given their own film a 10.
For the rest of you, who simply want to be entertained or enjoy a good story, avoid this.
This man on the street shall give it a 2 out of 10.
FDA note: while this movie can be used as an aide to obtaining a good nights sleep, no medicinal value is implied or offered.
Ten 'til Noon (2006)
Boring and Derivative
I should've realised it was a sign of things to come when the trailer for this film bored me.
Having watched several "indie" films on the strength of the reviews on here, and subsequently finding that my view is completely opposite to those other reviewers, I began wondering if it's possible I am watching completely different films from these people, or are they perhaps friends/family etc of the film makers trying to 'big up' their work? Hmmm.
Are you interested in seeing an amateur's homage to Pulp Fiction and 11:14, except done with worse actors, a silly score (undermines various scenes) and unbelievable jumps in logic? If not, then skip this film.
Here is my open letter to two of the players in this film.
Alfonso Morgan, please, please, please, stop trying to 'be' Samuel L Jackon a la Pulp Fiction. No-one can do what he does as well as he does.
Director, please come up with something original. It does you a disservice to churn out this stuff pretending to be Quentin Tarantino.
Simply dire, and I really cannot see how anyone could say this is a good film. It is a disgrace that people have somehow managed to put a score of 8.5 on this, the same as films like Pulp fiction or Goodfellas. It is no-where near these movies; a 4 or 5 would be a more reasonable average rating, I give it a 3.
Isolation (2005)
Seen Alien? Seen Terminator? Skip this copycat.
I found myself moderately bored throughout this film with regard to its very slow pace and the fact that nothing much actually happens in it other than the bare bones clichés and standard plot points.
If you do ever watch this, you could challenge your friends to see who can shout out the name of film the current plot point is ripped off from, although it's not much of a challenge, as they are very easy to recognize.
Typical B horror movie (with stupid, irrational characters) meets slow-paced attempt-at-moody film plus a few scenes stolen from Aliens = this very boring flick.
The ending seemed like it was tagged on as an afterthought, and just before it took place, I found myself thinking "If this just ends with character X doing action Y, I'll be very disappointed" and sure enough I was.
With these poor quality, unoriginal films, a lot of the reviews appear to trumpet the fact it was made on a low budget as if that on its own can somehow redeem a poor film. That makes me wonder if those people aren't shills, because surely a consumer has no interest in how much the film cost to make - they are only interested in being entertained.
Others have commented on this film being realistic, and you may be wondering if that's why people are saying it's boring - let me assure that's not the case. Realism is not an attribute of this film any more than Wile Coyote Vs Roadrunner is. That's right, the 'thing' in this movie has been given a silly sentience to enable it to go "what the..." at certain plot points. Complete silliness I'm afraid.
In short, there is absolutely NOTHING original in this film. Nothing whatsoever. Added to that, there is nothing interesting or entertaining here either, and that makes for a rather copious waste of time. I've seen it all done before by better actors and scriptwriters.
The Others (2001)
Tremendous movie; very engrossing
The performance of Nicole Kidman in this is outstanding. She plays the part extremely well and had me utterly convinced that she truly was the conservative, sensible-shoe-wearing, overbearing mother in the piece, though quite captivatingly beautiful she is too. It does make quite a refreshing change from the regular formulaic Hollywood type 'horror' films that seem to be proliferating theatres and DVD shelves these days. You won't find yourself shouting "don't open that door" like one does in desperation at so many awful b movie characters - you'll be looking at Ms. Kidman's face and you'll be right there with her.
This film is set some fifty years ago. Now, normally with some type of period pieces, things start well before some character uses some modern slang/colloquialism and it pulls you right out of the movie. I can assure you that in The Others, the dialogue is simply sublime. Every detail has been attended to to ensure it is faithful to the era; from the behaviour of the children to the address of the servants.
The children actors here are simply outstanding. With the help of the excellent dialogue they deliver an awe-inspiring performance that absolutely makes the film.
Storywise, it is excellent and original in my opinion - and horror movies are my favourite, so I believe I've seen a few in my time.
So if you're tired of clichés, of the group-of-teens.. .camp-in-a-graveyard.. .as-an-initiation-ritual-then-get-killed type movies then perhaps you'd appreciate this eerie, evocative, and downright chilling horror movie as much as I have.
Blood Trails (2006)
Full of tired clichés and lazy screen writing. Avoid.
Utterly dreadful movie. I'm not sure how I managed to get through it. The acting is extremely wooden throughout, the characters are very two dimensional and all of this is made even worse by the fact there is very little dialogue in this movie (perhaps 10 lines at the most.
The first death scene requires an enormous suspension of disbelief on the part of the viewer because of laziness on the part of the writer.
Every single event in this movie is a horror movie cliché and I even found myself saying out loud what would happen next to be proved right about 80% of the time. The remaining 20% was either delayed or substituted with another cliché.
This reminds me of a student film, of a fledgling screenwriter trying to make a homage to his favourite horror movies - it is most certainly NOT a decent horror movie in its own right.
I want those two hours of my life back.