CriticsVoiceVideo Reviews

Judas and the Black Messiah (2021)

Long, drawn out, boring, incohesive, incoherent mess.

[1/10 · 11 June 2023]

A very disappointing muddled effort. Lots of bad writing, bad acting, bad direction, and bad casting. It's a really terrible film jumping from scene to scene with no explanation. No heart, no warmth, no suspense. You're better off watching a documentary. Believe me, you do not wanna waste your time on this film. I can't believe all the praise. Also, I don't know if it was just me but the sound mix was absolutely terrible.

Fred Hampton deserved better in real life and in film. Very disappointing.

A very disappointing muddled effort. Lots of bad writing, bad acting, bad direction, and bad casting. It's a really terrible film jumping from scene to scene with no explanation. No heart, no warmth, no suspense.

Fred Hampton deserved better in real life and in film. A missed opportunity to tell a very tragic evil story well.

So disappointing.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love (2009 Video)

The worst. Don't bother.

[1/10 · 23 May 2023]

This is now the worst film in the series and franchise.

Bad casting: It was good we got some new characters but they did not look like teenagers. And enough with the Stifler character. It's not needed. Eugene Levy is a real trooper though. Once again returning for the continuity.

Bad writing: sick, depraved sense of humor. Beastiality is not funny. It's disgusting. Abysmal juvenile humor. No storyline whatsoever.

No fun and youthful energy paired with lighthearted sex comedy. It's just awful

I can see why this was the last installment until 2020. It's boring, pointless, bottom of the barrel, cheap and the lowest of the low.

I do not recommend watching this film at all. It has no redeeming qualities.

Avoid at all costs. Skip immediately. Should have never been made.

American Pie Presents: Band Camp (2005 Video)

Pretty boring spinoff.

[2/10 · 23 May 2023]

The recasting for Matt Stifler is pretty spot on physically and he does manage to mimic a lot of Steve's mannerisms, but his character here is very unlikeable. Paired with a very boring script and boring supporting cast, makes for a very boring movie.

I really appreciate Eugene Levy for coming back and insuring continuity. He's a real trooper man.

I do recommend watching the followup "the naked mile". It is much better in my opinion and should have been the first spinoff featuring Matt Stifler in the storyline.

I'm actually surprised that after this film another installment was greenlit after all things considered. But I'm glad because then "the naked mile" would not exist. Go check it out.

American Pie Presents: The Book of Love (2009 Video)

By far the worst spinoff and the worst in the series.

[1/10 · 23 May 2023]

This is the bottom of the barrel lowest of the series. This is now number one, making "American Wedding" number two.

Not sexy, not funny. Truly the worst of the lot. I do not recommend whatsoever.

Bad casting: These did not look like teenagers. Haha. It's good we got some new characters but enough with a Stifler character. Geez. And let me tell you, that Eugene Levy is a real trooper. Coming back again for the continuity. I can't believe he agreed to be a part of this.

Bad writing: It feels like someone has a beastiality fetish. Beastiality is not funny.

This movie was not light-hearted nor fun or sexy or resembling anything like the previous films. I can see why another installment stalled until 2020.

Do not watch this movie. I do not recommend. Avoid at all costs.

American Pie Presents: Beta House (2007 Video)

Subpar followup to "the naked mile".

[5/10 · 23 May 2023]

After "the naked mile" this is the only spinoff worth checking out and even then it's not really worth it. Not as sexy or funny as it's predecessor.

Not worth a repeat viewing. I can see why they didn't followup anymore with this cast. They ran their course in "the naked mile". (No pun intended) It should have revolved around a new set of characters.

It was good to see the cast back but that spark just wasn't there.

They tried but it ultimately was a disappointment for me.

Only check it out if you are a big fan of the film series and want to see all the films out of curiosity. After "the naked mile" this is the only spinoff worth checking out and even then it's not really worth it. Not as sexy or funny as it's predecessor.

American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile (2006 Video)

Fun and sexy spinoff.

[9/10 · 22 May 2023]

This movie goes where "American Pie 2" should have gone and definitely better than "American Wedding" and "Band Camp" as well.

I was absolutely surprised by how much I liked this. It's everything a movie like this should be. Sexy irreverent mindless youthful light hearted comic entertainment.

Casting was good enough. I really appreciate Eugene Levy participating for the continuity. It's really appreciated. I love it. Lots of sexy humor and nudity. Nice to see the whole cast participate. To watch a film like this and expect little house in the prairie or something like that, that is just foolish.

As for the sex comedy genre, this film absolutely deserves a place in line. If you are a fan of said genre I definitely recommend the watch. And as far as spinoffs go, it's one of the better ones.

Followed up by a less adequate, but still fun sequel.

Grease: Rise of the Pink Ladies (2023)

It's terrible.

[1/10 · 16 April 2023]

Not time period accurate. Bad music, bad casting, no character development, bad writing, bad direction, bad choreography.

They don't have the authority to tell the origins of Grease. Should have been a sequel not prequel.

Zero humor. Not joyful or fun like the original films. A complete waste of time. A miserable viewing experience. Very disappointing effort by the whole crew. All the music sounds like Meghan Trainor music. This will be cancelled and long forgotten and rightfully so. Just another crappy sequel/reboot written by an inept team who have no idea what Grease was about. Should not be considered canon in any capacity.

Heed my warning and don't even bother with this silly mess.

Sin City (2005)

A classic action film noir all its own.

[10/10 · 9 April 2023]

I definitely recommend checking it out. There is nothing else like these films in the action/film noir genre. The look of course is iconic especially upon it's original release.

I think what really makes this film so electric is the acting (#1), the writing, I just love those narrations. And the editing. It's a classic film noir just as much as anything else before it.

Really standout performances from Clive Owen ( I think it's the best thing he's done), Rosario Dawson, Britney Murphy, and Mickey Rourke. (who I also believe is at his best here). Benecio Del Toro and and Alexis Biedel are also great.

Definitely recommend checking it out. But be warned: It's a dark, sick, gruesome, twisted world this sin city. So be prepared. And I do recommend watching the sequel if you love this film.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For (2014)

Pretty good follow up.

[8/10 · 9 April 2023]

Does it match the energy and the vibe of the first film? For the first hour I strongly believe it does. Some of the recasts and a certain confusing cameo featuring Jamie King were absolutely pointless.

I think after the first hour things begin to drag. The recast with Jeremy Piven is all wrong. The energy was not the same and his character could have easily just been another detective. Strange they felt the need to choose him as an already established character, especially one who is so menacing in the first film. All wrong. Jessica Alba and Rosario Dawson were also missing a certain something they had ten years prior. Joseph Gordon Levitt is a nice new addition and I didn't mind Josh Brolin. Two or three scenes of really bad CGI, but overall I think the look still worked. I loved the Eva Green character. Classic fatal femme fatale.

In the last twenty minutes is where things really started to become tedious for me, but all that said, I think it was a good follow up. There were some scenes in the first hour I absolutely loved just as much as anything that's in the first film. I definitely recommend checking it out. There is nothing else like these films in the action/film noir genre.

Spring Breakers (2012)

Absolutely horrible.

[1/10 · 14 March 2023]

So shallow, so empty, so juvenile. No storyline whatsoever. More like an extended music video. A completely boring and insipid one too.

I can think of no redeeming quality or reason for this "movie" to exist. A silly childish film. A complete waste of time and money.

So shallow, so empty, so juvenile. No storyline whatsoever. More like an extended music video. A completely boring and insipid one too. No character development. Terrible writing.

I can think of no redeeming quality or reason for this "movie" to exist. A silly childish film. A complete waste of time and money.

I can think of no redeeming quality or reason for this "movie" to exist. A silly childish film. A complete waste of time and money.

Girls to Buy (2021)

A cautionary tale.

[8/10 · 8 March 2023]

Great casting and performances all throughout this haunting, sordid, sexy true life tale. Good direction, some nice cinematography, and solid writing make the long running time endurable. Very few moments felt slow to me. I thought it was nicely paced between the drama, the comedy, and the sexual content. Everything you could want in a film like this.

WARNING: If you don't like seeing the dark side of human nature then this film will absolutely not appeal to you.

Again, If you don't like seeing the dark side of human nature then this film will absolutely not appeal to you.

As for me, I liked it and recommend giving it a watch...or two.

Magic Mike's Last Dance (2023)

Not surprised one bit.

[1/10 · 3 March 2023]

If you read my reviews on the previous two films then you would know I'm not surprised one bit in how dull this is. My boyfriend and I both fell asleep during the first one. But now, this third film makes the original look like "The Godfather" Part 1. Geez, the movies just get worse and worse. Once again taking itself waaaay too seriously. Steven Soderbergh should have stayed retired. I know most reviews dislike Salma Hayek but I actually thought she was the best thing about it. Her character may be a hot mess but she felt the most natural and was funny to me.

I saw this for free as I would never pay to watch any Magic Mike film. We watched this over the course of three days because it just wasn't worth a full sitting. Mike should have hung up his g string a long time ago but I guess he really did because there was not one in sight. Awful film. Awful.

Return to Two Moon Junction (1995)

I didn't hate it.

[5/10 · 3 March 2023]

Drags on waaaay too long. Thin plot line and there are some continuity issues. Also, the casting for the male lead is not good enough in my opinion. This story really is a redemption arc for the grandmother (played again by Louise Fletcher) I appreciate Fletcher coming back for the continuity. The original is one of my most favorite films and this is just not on the same level. It's missing that romance, humor, sex appeal, and passion. Even though I think the sex scenes in this film are hotter.

Melinda Clarke, don't be embarrassed. You looked great.

And even though I wasn't into the male lead, he did fulfill his role physically except for going full frontal in the end like Richard Tyson in the original. He still gave us some sexy shots.

I adored the ending. I thought it was very touching. I think it's worth the watch once, especially if you are a fan of the original.

West Side Story (2021)

Pointless and dated.

[1/10 · 16 February 2023]

Inept performances by all (Especially Anita playing it like Speedy Gonzalez with that cartoon accent), boring choreography, boring singing, boring direction, weird CGI, Rita Moreno's character does not belong in this movie, Ansel looks like he just walked out of a 1990s GAP commercial, not jail. Haha. Also, no real Puerto Ricans for all the required leads. And Spielberg is such a drudge he made "America" and "One Hand, One Heart" literal like a kindergartener. Haha. Far worse adaptation than the first one. Pointless and dated. Also, this movie is offensive to Puerto Ricans but y'all not ready for that convo.

Welcome to Chippendales (2022–2023)

Awful production and pacing.

[1/10 · 7 January 2023]

Casting is way off, too many liberties taken, made up characters, bad pacing, bad writing, and bad direction. The strippers and their routines were pointless, too short, and low budget. There is so much filler, even with the last two episodes struggling to make the 30min mark with commercials. There was no need for this to be eight episodes. This easily could have been a two hour movie. The creative team were out of their depth with this one. It's obvious they were struggling to find content and did a poor job executing it. They should have done more research. Skip this and watch a documentary.

Lady Chatterley's Lover (I) (2022)

Dull and a bit goofy.

[1/10 · 3 December 2022]

After having seen at least four previous adaptations, this really is the worst of the lot. This film did not convey the story D. H. Lawrence is telling in his novel. It was about as erotic as a pound of ground beef. The nudity is done in a silly manner, especially involving the male. Nothing enticing or smoldering about him. In fact, I found both leads utterly unappealing with and without clothes. Where was the famous gardener showering scene that originally stirs her loins in the first place? This movie is lacking in so many areas. It was all so generic and bland. If you want to see this story on film, then stick to the previous versions or just read the novel which is a thousand times better than any filmed adaptation. Even "Young Lady Chatterley's Lover" conveys more of the story than this dreck and the color palette of this film is just dreadful. Just like the film itself, it's dreary and dull. Heed my warning and skip this snoozefest. Very disappointing.

A Christmas Story Christmas (2022)

Great sequel. A new classic.

[10/10 · 19 November 2022]

Same tone, same vibe, same story but in a different way. I loved it. It had wonderful nods to the original, the spirit of the original, the aesthetic of the original. But a film that stands completely on its own. I absolutely loved it.

After watching it three times and then back to the original, I realized just how brilliant the ending is. It all comes full circle. BRILLIANT. I had to adjust my rating from a nine to a ten. This is how you make a compatible sequel.

As a big big fan of the original since I first saw it as a kid in the 1980s, this sequel definitely put a smile on my face and gave me that warm fuzzy feeling. I would be mad if this didn't play on the nostalgia. It's done in the right way, not heavy handed and pointless. Loved hearing the original score and seeing that original cast back. Melinda Dillon was sorely missed as the mom (I understand she has been retired for quite some time). Julie Hagerty is an adequate replacement.

A must see for any fan of the original and be sure to drink your Ovaltine.

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

Forgettable.

[3/10 · 1 October 2022]

The opening was great. Loved it. But alas...

Pointless and unfocused sequel to the greatest Halloween movie of all time. Forgettable characters. Forgettable storyline. Not the worst sequel ever made but I will never watch this ever again. A waste of the Sanderson sisters.

Why weren't they focused on brewing the potion to get the children instead of this mayor thing and girl drama.

Disappointing but I expected it. A missed opportunity.

Pointless and unfocused sequel to the greatest Halloween movie of all time. Forgettable characters. Forgettable storyline. Not the worst sequel ever made but I will never watch this ever again. A waste of the Sanderson sisters.

Blonde (2022)

They just had to go too far.

[2/10 · 28 September 2022]

The opening and first fifteen minutes were done well enough, even on the brink of riveting. Then it solidly moved along for another twenty more minutes before it fell right into the dumpster. The writing fell apart, the pace began to drag. It became cheap, tawdry, and just totally unnecessary. Why slander this woman in this trashy fictional way. It's the equivalent of telephone gossip. Shame on you.

The actress playing Marilyn has some hit and misses. Both physically (the body, movement and eyes were off), vocally (the accent) and artistically. She is a strong actress here in parts. She looks most like Marilyn in the film clips. She began to look like Monroe less and less as the film went on.

The direction itself I thought was very artistic, swift, creative, nuanced, and beautiful at times. I loved the use of color for different moments. I love that her film clips were always shown in the movie theater. It was my favorite part. Loved it. But sir, this film did not need to be three hours. And Marilyn didn't act like an airhead all the time. It's so trite. Like she doesn't know what an egg is. Come on now. And you should know that no actress leaves set still in costume (7 year itch aftermath). Tsk tsk tsk. I really couldn't take it seriously after that. By the end of the film, it had gone full blown camp. The scene with JFK especially. Pure juvenile silliness.

It's a shame because if they didn't use Monroe's name or they didn't go so low brow for absolutely no reason at all, this could have been an amazing Norma Jean biopic or inspired by story like another Netflix film, "Beauty".

A missed opportunity, sadly, and definitely not worth it's running time. Very disappointing.

Movie 43 (2013)

So inappropriate, so crude, so hilarious.

[9/10 · 26 September 2022]

This movie is so damn silly and trashy and I loved almost every minute of it. Irreverent and on the brink of brilliant actually. If you take yourself too seriously, this won't appeal to you. As for me and my crew, we were howling.

This movie is just so juvenile and vulgar and so damn silly and trashy and I loved almost every minute of it. Irreverent and on the brink of brilliant actually. If you take yourself too seriously, this won't appeal to you. As for me and my crew, we were howling with laughter.

This movie is so damn silly and trashy and I loved almost every minute of it. Irreverent and on the brink of brilliant actually. If you take yourself too seriously, this won't appeal to you. As for me and my crew, we were howling.

Monster (2022–2024)

Subpar writing and inaccuraricies.

[1/10 · 23 September 2022]

I can't take this seriously with all the bad writing and inaccuraricies. Would it kill Ryan Murphy to actually do some thorough research and stick to the source material. It's waaaay more compelling. Also, Evan Peters' one note monotone robotic performance is not realistic (combined with his brown eyes and dark hair). Watch the Dahmer family home movies. He came across as an unassuming nice regular Joe schmo. Maybe it's the writing and direction's fault but there are tons of interviews and trial footage to create from so why make up completely inaccurate scenes that discredit the victims true experience? It does a major disservice to the poor victims. I don't like that, especially considering the situation involving the 14 year old boy (character assassination) ALSO.: (The moment with the cops is almost accurate, but should have been handled differently). The Niecy Nash character didn't even live in the same building as him! Get out of here with this fictional mess.

Yes, there are a tiny few solid moments and some of the production designs are spot on, but the inaccuraricies outweigh the few small good moments combined with a lot of boring filler and too many flashbacks. All in typical tasteless Ryan Murphy fashion (couldn't even think of an original title). Skip and stick to an accurate thorough documentary if you're that interested.

I can't rate this higher than a one, unfortunately due to handling of production and the big missing part, humanity.

Quantum Leap (2022–2024)

Absolutely not.

[1/10 · 20 September 2022]

I know it's only one episode but I can already tell this isn't going to work. No warmth, no soul, no intelligence, bad writing, stiff dry acting, unlikeable characters, no mystery and intrigue.

And where was the amazing opening and theme song? Epic fail.

Combined with the fact that they had to scramble at the last minute to rewrite the premiere episode to make it better does not bode well for future episodes if this is the best they could do. Very disappointing, but I'd be lying if I said I was surprised.

The audience will disappear in droves due to: No warmth, no soul, no intelligence, no charm, no humor, no heart, no humanity, bad writing, bad acting, unlikeable characters, no mystery and intrigue. It's already been canceled on my DVR. See ya!

SIDENOTE: I didn't mind the new lead, he's cute. But everyone else gotta go except Ernie Hudson, who should be the hologram. DUH. And if Sam Beckett is not involved then it's a definite no go. Maybe it's not too late to make right what has so clearly gone wrong.

Brenda Starr (1989)

Brooke certainly looks the part.

[1/10 · 2 September 2022]

Brooke Shields and her costumes look impeccable. I can't imagine a more perfect looking Brenda Starr (her acting is lacking in areas.) However, the direction is shoddy, the plot an absolute mess leaving lots of questions, and casting choices that don't work. There are a few tiny glimpses into what the film could have been but it ultimately just falls flat, very flat. Shame. Only watch if you are very curious and a comic book enthusiast.

I do think the film would have done better at the box office if it was released in 1987 as planned. Not that it would have changed the final product though.

Again, only watch if you are very curious and a comic book enthusiast.

The Carrie Diaries (2013–2014)

Big giant plot holes.

[1/10 · 1 September 2022]

As listed in the trivia section of this show, in SATC it is revealed that Carrie's father left when she was five and never knew why. She was raised by her mother. Huge continuity mistake. Also, Charlotte was the first of the girls that she became friends with, not Samantha. Another continuity mistake. Also, Charlotte was from Connecticut which is a big characteristic of hers, not Carrie. This show should have never been made and should not be considered canon.

I repeat:

As listed in the trivia section of this show, in SATC (ending of Season 4) it is revealed that Carrie's father left when she was five and never knew why. She was raised by her mother. Huge continuity mistake. Also, Charlotte was the first of the girls that she became friends with, not Samantha. Another continuity mistake. Also, Charlotte was from Connecticut which is a big characteristic of hers, not Carrie. This show should have never been made and should not be considered canon.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958)

Too sanitized.

[8/10 · 18 July 2022]

Although there are very effective moments in this film and the two leads are drop dead gorgeous and give good performances, that said, this isn't the dark tragic version I originally saw on stage. Still, it's the worth the watch and still conveys the story.