redserpent7 Reviews

You Don't Mess with the Zohan (2008)

Stay Away from the Zohan

[3/10 · 13 June 2008]

You Don't Mess with the Zohan is another one of Sandler's "Happy Maddison" productions and by all means its a load of crap. I did find some scenes were somewhat funny, two maybe, the rest of the movie was amazingly boring. Adam Sandler Plays a Mossad agent who got fed up of all the killing so he jumps to the US to become a hair stylist or to make "Silky Smooth" hair as Sandler describes it. The movie started pretty good, unfortunately this only lasted for a couple of minutes as all the other scenes throughout repetitive and somewhat disgusting. From Sandler catching a fish between his butt cheeks to Sandler trying to impress his employer by fooling around with middle aged / old women. In the way we meet Schnider's character, which is a Palestinian terrorist wannabe who tries to capture Zohan (Sandler) and trade him or whatever he was up to, not really sure. From what angle you look at this "movie" there's something that doesn't feel right. I really like Sandler movies including the recent "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry", I find the latter much more amusing and original than this one. So stay away from this one by all means, there is no need to waste money on it as there is nothing original or worth your money in it.

Three Kingdoms (2008)

A journey way back.....

[10/10 · 21 May 2008]

Three kingdoms is a great Chinese masterpiece that is set in the era of the three kingdoms that ruled china. The cao, wu and liu dynasties were trying to unite china each under their own leadership and in a result it produces wars between the three houses for decades. The story in this movie is told from the Liu's point of view and my god what a story that is.

I don't know really why people are not giving this high ratings, it should be on the IMDb top 100. I guess most people that watch Chinese movies are in it because of the martial arts and people flying prospective. If you are looking for something like that then go watch house of the flying daggers or The Forbidden Kingdom because this movie is not about massive FX's and stunts. It simply tells a story with some battles shoved in. The movie is quite emotional and the acting was superb. As for the directing it truly is brilliant, the battles were directed with passion and ingeniousness with great sound effects and slowmo shots that makes it even more desirable to watch over and over again.

This is one movie that shouldn't be missed by Chinese history/mythology fans. Its a 10/10 and I don't care what other people might think, its just a masterpiece.

I Am Legend (2007)

Great with stuff left unexplained

[7/10 · 8 March 2008]

I Am Legend is different than other movies that share the same concept, it has more action than other post apocalyptic movies like for example 28 days later. The movie is fast paced and I don't remember any dull moment and Smith pulls this one out on his own brilliantly of course with the help of Max his lawful dog. All in all this movie is great when it comes to action and sound effects. The concept is probably the same as other zombie post apocalyptic movies where one person or a group tries to save humanity from extinction. There are stuff in this movie that were not explained, for example how did he get electricity for over three years, that really bugged me throughout the whole movie and I just kept wondering and wondering and hoping that smith or the director will come up with some explanation. of course there are other issues like gas, food and clean water but if you don't mind those things and just wants to enjoy a great movie this is the one for you. 7/10

Rambo (2008)

An Excellent comeback

[10/10 · 6 March 2008]

This was the greatest action movie I've seen in years. Sadly they don't make it like this no more. Sly was great in this movie and if you haven't seen him before you would think that he's in his late 30's. The story is intense and just right, no philosophical point of views and no dragging. Its a pure action movie just like the many that were produced in the 80's with a brilliant directing from Stallone, movies don't get any better than this well except for people who enjoy romantic comedies and like to cry all the time, this is not for you guys. I could keep going on and on about this and I really enjoyed it and it made it up to my top 10 best movies list. For all people out there who have doubts about Sly and Rambo don't hesitate and if you missed it on the big screen buy the DVD don't rent coz this is a must have.

Lost (2004–2010)

A huge drag

[1/10 · 12 December 2007]

This show was one of my complete disappointments in 21st century TV. I've read so much about it and when it hits my country's shores I left everything and watched. The first 3-4 episodes were great, people stranded in a deserted island is always a pleasure to watch as they try to figure out their new way of life and how to descend from their old lives to a new cave-man like barbaric life. The came the pain, the story started going back and forth with no mysteries revealed just showing the lives of these men before the plane crash and that kind of sums it up. no character evolving, long dull moments and no revealing of anything and after twenty something episodes season 1 completes leaving you with the ultimate question "What the @#$% was that all about?".

Am I going to watch season 2?, well maybe. Am I going to enjoy it?, I really doubt that one.

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

Uwe Boll does it again.....

[1/10 · 8 December 2007]

Don't really know how he gets great actors in his movies. Uwe Boll does it again, a cast of some of the best actors in one of the worst movies ever made. The story is bad, really really bad, the acting wasn't good either even with the presence of Burt Reynolds, Ron Perlman and ray Liotta.

I have sworn that I won't watch a Boll movie again, they've proved to be a waste of time and money even if it comes in the shape of a 1$ pirated DVD. Never buy,rent, download or even think of borrowing it from a friend. Its a waste, and a huge one too. And be advised never to watch a Boll movie again, its enough already.

EDIT: I've posted this a while back and I just wanted to add something.

If you're reading this and you happen to work at a store where you sell video games, please and I beg you memorize the name and face of Uwe Boll and if you see him crossing the street immediately shut your doors and windows and put that close sign. Please never sell a video game to Uwe Boll ever again.

Captivity (2007)

A bad imitation of Saw

[1/10 · 14 July 2007]

This got to be the worst movie I've seen in years its got it all, bad acting, no story to be told, worst script ever and probably the darkest movie I've seen, I mean sometimes you just cant tell whats going on. The movie, if thats what you wanna call it, has many plot holes and is so boring after watching 15 minutes of it you wish you have brought your pillow with, man I wish I did. the characters are so shallow that you wont get attached to any of them and they are like 5 characters in the movie added to them the two cops who appear in like 1 minute and then get killed. everything is so obvious and you kinda know what will going to happen an hour before it actually do. The creators obviously wanted to do something like Saw the psychological games that the captor plays with their victims, all just an imitation of Saw. Believe me don't waste your time or money on this don't even bother renting it coz in every case you lose your money to nothing. oh and by the way if you are held captive by a sicko who is tormenting you both mentally and physically would you just forget all about it and have sex with the person in the cell next to you. something to think about.

Norbit (2007)

Maybe most people don't have any sense of humor...

[10/10 · 19 March 2007]

I've watched Norbit today and I enjoyed every moment of it. Eddie Murphy was great as he always was, same goes to all the other cast. The movie made me laugh like I've never did before. It was worth all my money, and I might watch it again some time soon. The movie have some rude humor, but its enjoyable. I really don't know why the ratings are getting low, this is a must watch movie. Just because Rasputia is nuts, repulsive and disgusting does not mean that all fat people are like that, its just a character like many other characters in movies, its like saying that all skinny white men are psycho killers after watching Saw or Psycho. This is not the point of the movie, its about laughs and lots of em.

If you have some time to spare go watch Norbit coz its sure one hell of a comedy.