Change Your Image
msteedle
Reviews
La casa sperduta nel parco (1980)
Indulgent
Spoilers
An hour and fifteen minutes of sexual exploitation and gratuitous nudity followed by an ending I have seen one too many times (House on Haunted Hill, The Ghost, For a Few Dollars More, Once upon a Time in the West off the top of my head).
Shocking rape scenes to what end, I ask? To stir controversy and discussion, I suspect, as it would be difficult to justify artistically.
Shallow, stupid, drawn out, just plain awful. And I like finding B horror movies. Here is a spoiler: you will waste an hour and a half watching it.
The Dirty Dozen (1967)
not that great
I don't know what they were going for this this one. The first half of the movie was engaging in terms of the plot, but the parts that were supposed to be funny were just not funny. The band playing at the base? Charming. And the music during these scenes was basically lifted out of children's cartoons, making them seem even stupider. The second half of the movie too sharply contrasted the first half. I don't have a problem with seeing the heartless side of war in film, but going from idiocy to brutality in the same movie left me with a very uneasy feeling. The cast was good, at least - particularly Cassavetes.
The person who claimed that this was "The Greatest War Adventure of all time" and that "every home should have a copy" on DVD has obviously never seen The Great Escape, which is truly "flawless."
Mulholland Dr. (2001)
I'm so cool
I loved Mulholland Dr. because I am so insightful and brilliant. I "get" this movie because I am better than everybody else, yet I will not explain what I "got" out of it - just like the other people who were smart enough to appreciate it.
I am a movie elitist myself, but I will not say that a movie is great just because it is trendy to have that opinion.
Magnolia (1999)
Eh...
This movie was okay, but a little long. The dialogue was good, but not three-plus hours with no building up of interest good. The ending was a bit of a letdown for me. After the setup in the first five minutes of the film with the coincidences, I was expecting something much more clever than what we got. Watch it once, but never again. Actually, watch "Crimes and Misdemeanors" for a similar message but much better film.
Rudy (1993)
Inspiring
This is one of the best sports movies of all-time and one of the most motivational movies I have ever seen, as well. When it is over, you are left with the feeling that you are ready to take on the world. The acting was excellent (everybody loves "Roc") and the settings were beautiful. It makes me proud as hell to be a part of such a community. Go Irish!
Timmy's Wish (2002)
Outstanding
I just caught this at the Florida Film Festival last night, and it was certainly one of the highlights of the shorts program I saw. When little Timmy's parents send him to bed without dinner, he prays to Jesus to rid him of them. Screaming is then heard from the kitchen. You put it together. Jesus was absolutely hysterical ("You've earned it!") and the way it was shot made it even funnier. It looked like "Beaver" Cleaver's house. If you ever manage to see this short, check it out, and if you ever find a way to get it on video or DVD, let me know. Highly recommended.
Chirpy (2001)
...interesting
I just caught this at the Florida Film Festival, and I think it would be fair to say that there were a lot of funny parts, but it could have been kept a little shorter. I can't imagine seeing the storyboard - "okay, in this shot, the bird is having sex with the horse, and then in this next one, she is having sex with the horse at this angle, then in this one, back to the last angle" - for about ten minutes of raw animal sex. It was quite explicit, and I don't think I want to shake the hand of the man who was sitting there drawing the horse's genitals hundreds of times. In all fairness, the voices were funny and there some memorable lines ("Tastes like chicken"), but it went on a little too long for my taste in bird-horse animated sex.
Staplerfahrer Klaus - Der erste Arbeitstag (2000)
Unbelievably Funny
I was definitely close to soiling myself last night when I saw this at the Florida Film Festival. Klaus was the highlight of the shorts program I attended. It is shot like the video you might be forced to watch when you are first hired at a company (complete with cheesy music) and shows everything that can go wrong as a forklift driver. You honestly won't think it can possibly get any better, but each situation manages to top the previous one. I don't want to spoil any of the surprises, but it was bloody as hell and extremely violent, but funny enough so you know not to be offended. If there is any way to get this on video or DVD, please let me know.
Shanghai Noon (2000)
Owen Wilson, not Jackie Chan
I think we can all safely say that Owen Wilson saved this movie from just being another Jackie Chan movie. Tom Dey's giving carte blanche to Wilson for writing his own lines was the best decision in the entire process of making this film. The action scenes are not as good as other Chan movies, perhaps because cowboys do not know karate and have guns, so the dialogue must be relied on to carry the movie. Attention, ignorant masses: do not refer to Owen Wilson as "the other guy besides Jackie Chan;" he is a star and he made this film work.
A Beautiful Mind (2001)
Very good, but not great
I have to admit that this movie was very good, although I don't think it is as great as the rest of the world, apparently. Nash's sickness was exploited for dramatic purposes (in actuality, he might think he is seeing someone, but would not actually think he is rubbing a little girl's hair or kissing her forehead in thin air). The directing was adequate, but utilitarian. I wonder if most people know what a director actually does, or if they just lump the categories of best movie and best director together. Ron, I think we have seen enough of the shot with the camera revolving around Cameron Crowe's head by the third time you used it. The acting was great all around. The script was also good, but included only selected parts of Nash's life - only those that make him seem like a wonderful man. The writers chose to leave the parts of his real life out like when he got divorced, had illegitimate children, etc. I guess that would have negated the ending (spoiler?) This movie was pretty good - a 7 or 8 out of 10 - but I just don't like watching somebody's tragic life embellished for entertainment purposes.
The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)
Not what you might expect
Attention reviewers: if you went to see this movie expecting something else, do not sound so disappointed that you never got it. It doesn't make the movie bad; it just wasn't your cup of tea, so stop defacing this page with bad reviews. Instead of complaining about the slow delivery of lines, sit back and appreciate the way each shot was masterfully framed. All of the actors fell in love with the script for some reason, so you might be missing something. Also, I highly doubt that the use of music in this movie was in any way intended to boost soundtrack sales, as was indicated by another reviewer - it is not a tactic employed often by talented and credible directors. Speaking of music, Wes Anderson is known for creating incredible and appropriate soundtracks. Try listening to the lyrics and comparing them to what is happening in the film. The details have significance.
I am sorry that this movie was not the boisterous comedy that some people wanted, but if they had done a little (gasp) reading or checked out some previous films by Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson, they would have surely realized that their movies are more dramatic and serious than most comedies. Also, much of the humor in these films is in the situations and characters themselves, not in one-liners, and much of that goes unnoticed to some moviegoers. I am assuming that this will not change anybody's mind on the film, but maybe it will help you to sort out whether it is worth your time and money to go see The Royal Tenenbaums. My advice: if you enjoy watching blockbuster movies with illiterate actors and nine-figure production budgets, skip it; but if you really appreciate film, go see it right now.
The Cable Guy (1996)
Dark and Hysterical
"WHAT?! It's not simple slapstick Jim Carrey funny - so I hate it!" I wish people who were expecting a sequel to "Dumb and Dumber" would stop writing in and saying what an awful movie they thought this was. Some people just cannot appreciate dark comedies. This is closer to "The Truman Show" than Jim Carrey's earlier movies. This is not to say that he is not funny in "The Cable Guy"; he is a riot. His acting is memorable with great physical comedy, not to mention more quotable lines than you can remember. Some of the better scenes were at Medieval Times, the pick-up basketball game, and playing "password" with Stephen's family. The cast was great, including Jack Black, Janeane Garofalo, Owen Wilson, Andy Dick, and Ben Stiller himself. This is a great modern dark comedy, and it turns out in the end that it did have a point (albeit somewhat obvious), unlike three out of four movies today, so watch it if you are interested in a smart, funny movie.
Bicentennial Man (1999)
An intelligent and emotional movie for all audiences
Do not pass this off simply as a children's movie. Few notice looking at the movie poster that "Bicentennial Man" was actually written by Isaac Asimov, biochemist, Columbia graduate, and noted science fiction author. The film is actually much deeper in meaning than trailers suggested, posing the question of what it truly means to be human. This notion is tied in with a heartwarming story and the perfect cast of actors, making the movie accessible to all audiences.