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Reviews
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021)
Being A Creative Talent Doesn't Make You A Decent Writer!
Just ask the guys at Tonko House; Robert Kondo and Dice Tsutsumi both had burgeoning careers with Pixar Studios (blech!) as art directors, and when they created their first short after (cockily as well as humbly) venturing out on their own, they both realised very quickly that it isn't that artistic talent simply isn't enough to carry a film-even if it's only 18 minutes long!
And this guy, who obviously possesses some talent in creating miniature models/worlds, thinks he can carry off a full-length film simply by gluing "eyes" onto various inanimate objects? Let's not forget the Femo™ clay shoes. AWWW! KAWAAAAIIII! Not.
Forced charm! I HATE forced charm! I loathed this stupid, insipid, poorly executed, badly written film so much I tried everything to get rid of it. I despise this lame character with a passion, and can just see this typical millennial messing around with plastic googly eyes, sticking one on a seashell, then modelling the little orange sneakers and instantly thinking: "I must have validation for this genius! YouTube (NATCH) get ready for...bahbahbadah!!...MARCEL!
The brain-dead who continually cruise that insidious site will find anything instantly endearing, as long as it possesses even a modicum of cutesy wootsiness. They'll hit the forward and like buttons over a single moment of dopamine!
And that Jenny person's voice makes me want to break things-cannot abide her raspy, affected cutesy thing either.
And of course, the creator has to put himself in the film--as the lead. Face palm. Dude, get over yourself already. I mean, 60 Minutes?? Talk about a charm-buster. Pieces of cereal, tampons, bits of fluff-time to dial down the Adderall intake, I think.
BORING. DEVOID OF CHARM. IRRITATING. However, the vomit scene was fascinating, as was the appearance of the "influencers"--gawd. Really.
For top-notch seamless stop-motion, superior artwork as well as good-to-great storytelling, and character development-apart from the Aardman/Nick Park creations, of course-check out Tumble Leaf for absolutely incredible, near-genius creativity, paired with terrific stories and engaging characters. Any productions touched by Dwarf Studios (Rilakkuma, ONI, Pokeman Concierge etc.) as well as the aforementioned Tonko House, are more than worthy of anybody's attention and awe. Marcel, sadly, is not.
Little Big Awesome (2016)
More Cosified Than One Hundred Murple Shlurps of Ho Cho
I am thankifying the awesomeness that is (was? Dept. Heads/execs hop from network to network like fleas from rugs to rats) the head of K & F entertainment at Amazon for green-lighting the wonderosity that is LBA.
Adventure Time, The Amazing World of Gumball, as well as Cupcake and Dino immediately come to mind, if we must compare-without competing. With their sentient hats (sort of), enviable bonds, kid humour that's also palatable for adults yet gentle and inoffensive, fantasy worlds full of brilliant colours that dazzle and comfort as well as bring some much-needed joy, the varied media and mediums are executed so well, without the cut-and-paste randomness of Gumball-and no irritating dumb fat dad trope, either! The absence of the "Cal Arts style" is so totally refreshing-no bean smiles or hard outlines to be found, just the most happiness-inducing, creative and absolutely bonkers graphics. Such talent! I experienced a big loss, as did many others, with the end of AT-Gumbal's demise followed shortly thereafter-my anti-depressant that aired just when we all seemed to need it.
But then CN executives happened. I live in hope of a revival, as long as the original cast returns; no one could possibly replace Jeremy and John as Finn and Jake.
A lot of hard work and love went into this sadly short-lived series, and I'm guessing that budget constraints became an issue; Amazon is really struggling financially, you know, gotta keep the focus on more dystopia, "reality" TV, gore, violence, rich narcissists, demons, homogeneous filler-faces, sex, etc.
It's a sad state of affairs when one is forced to rewatch shows like this over and over, as new releases become rarer and rarer. Just a short search on Vimeo will result in dozens if not hundreds of incredibly talented artists showcasing their works in one of the many shorts painstakingly executed and posted with high hopes of recognition.
I mean, are Mr. Blipi (is that right? I try not to think about this abhorrence), Steve and Maggie (kids don't need more sugar, nor do they want an oddly manic and cringey adult man freaking out over really lame props layered over cheap green-screen. UGH), and Peppa Pig (ugly cheap and nasty)-pure money-grubbers every one-the best we can do for "family" programming? Bluey and Hilda are great, but the latter has ended, so that leaves the former.
MORE GLUKO & LENNON! Ten murples for originality and unabashed JOY in pinks and blues, roundy shapes, bubbles, KITTENS, puppets, blue skies, HO CHO... even Weird Al can stay!... LOVE YOU GUYS!
What on Earth? (2015)
Knowledge, Insight, Wisdom, Theory Backed by Analytical Thought Processes Real Evidence/Proof Fascinating Subject Matter Discernment Scientific Dissection Cleverness
Look elsewhere.
Viewed via so-called "History" channel streaming service, seasons 1 & 2 years ago; nominally entertaining for its ludicrousness. Seasons 3 & 4, however, just keep delving to new depths beyond comprehension. Worse than Oak Island and Skinwalker Ranch combined with its scripted, forced excitement and weary embarrassed-looking scientists sprinkled in amongst the influencers, bloggers, and other pointless scraps of humanity.
What do we expect in our current culture in which everyone is a pseudo celebrity, critic, author, artist, actor, expert, cook, director, life coach, therapist, etc etc ETCETERA. What a disgusting state we're in without the filters in place before the internet; as long as one can garner attention for their "brand" or "product". I'm beyond being surprised by the crap that people will pay good money for, including and not limited to cheap awful cosmetics branded by an over-privileged 16 year-old with more plastic surgery than Joan Rivers, making an already-wealthy nobody a celebrity billionaire before she was 20-riding on the fame of her sister's sex tape that was promoted by their own mother. 15 year-old spoiled-rotten little boys getting into mommy's makeup drawer while endlessly banging on about their wonderful, fascinating selves on the egregious toxic cesspit that is YouTube now brag about purchasing 7 million dollar homes while millions still scrape and suffer.
If this sort of infuriating nonsense is not only acceptable, but encouraged, mimicked and lauded, why would anyone dare to expect quality, enriching programming??
You want a real emotional dichotomy? Watch Mr. Roger's Neighborhood, or better yet the wonderful documentary, Won't You Be My Neighbor? However twee you may see the subject matter, it's simultaneously heartbreaking that nothing this wonderful, full of integrity, charm, empathy and heart and truly useful qualities and interesting, engaging information will ever exist on any network or platform ever again, and that there's no one to carry on Fred's passion in fighting to get it all out there. The joy you'll experience while witnessing his love for children, and his many words of wisdom, however, may awaken your hardened heart. This man, who was born into wealth, and had never owned a TV, decided to change the world with nothing but love, knowledge, and a little tiger puppet named Daniel. He didn't focus on branding and selling crap to children, just enriching their lives, protecting them from bad, irresponsible parenting and networks that saw them either as a commodity or invisible.
I still watch his show when the little kid in me is hurting-and she hurts a lot lately.
The state of our culture makes me so angry, and like so many, I feel helpless.
While I'm fully aware of the fact that a great percentage of the population has become entirely solipsistic, narcissistic, brain dead, individualist adrenaline/dopamine junkies who look toward modern media to provide vehicles for the effortless dumping of the latter neurotransmitters, as well as their hourly doses of schadenfreude (because- boo-hoo!-they can't keep up with the permanent popularity contest they've voluntarily embroiled themselves in via social media)-have they lost ALL empathy, dignity, decency, discretion, character, as well as even a tenuous spiritual connection with ANYTHING greater than themselves? I refuse to believe that there are many more of us that want more. We're tired of being fed this junk food for the soul.
Must literally 99.9% of every bit of so-called entertainment, pastimes, literature, energy, thought processes, etc. Be geared toward instant gratification of the self, image-including looking like a plastic sex doll-the ego or making as much money for as little talent/effort/wisdom/knowledge possible? Don't even get me started on this rabid thirst for thrills via packaged sensationalism, violence and abuse.
I mean, apart from the people who ingest the content, but how do the people who create this dross sleep at night? WGA should be obliterated and AI should take over if this is the result of oh-so-necessary and empirically talented writers winning their recent fight for a 400% raise in wages.
It certainly doesn't help that media outlets are continually feeding into this rampant vapidity.
If it's possible to sink to depths beyond detailing human sacrifice, creating conspiracy theories via the constant "this gated, guarded site with the massive weapony-communicationy-satellite dish turns out to be owned by *gasp!* CHINA (or North Korea, or Russia, or Iraq-just insert current U. S. "enemy")!!" episode 14, season 4 (I think; it could be season 3. Anyway its main subject is cannibalism-I kid you not.) offhandedly feels the need to bring up animal abuse TRIGGER WARNING! DO NOT READ FURTHER IF YOU'RE SENSITIVE TO THIS SUBJECT! When talking about Mt. Vesuvius they actually couldn't leave out the detail about corpses of burned cats?? That wasn't enough sensationalism, so someone else excitedly, almost gleefully, shared details about the reason the cats were burned, and even THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH. They went into DETAIL REGARDING HOW SOME INHUMAN ARSONISTS WERE PERFORMING THIS TERRIBLE ACT!
I happened to be away from the TV, with just my earbuds in, and unfortunately I wasn't fast enough in ripping them out and throwing them before I learned this horrifying detail. I won't repeat it and I encourage you to not watch it, even out of curiosity. That poison never leaves your brain. Ever.
END OF TRIGGER.
Turn it all off. It's not worth your energy.
I'll leave you with a quote from Fred Rogers: What can change the world? When love abounds.
What on Earth?: Cannibals in the Ghost City (2018)
Disgusting Gleeful Description of Vile Cat Abuse
TRIGGER WARNING! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO TOPICS REGARDING ANIMAL ABUSE!
I've already entered my rage in regard to the overall vile nature of this sensationalist garbage that seems to permeate every shred of our culture-entertainment in particular.
However, this episode hits rock bottom. If it's possible to sink to depths beyond detailing human sacrifice, creating conspiracy theories via the constant "this gated, guarded site with the massive weapony-communicationy-satellite dish turns out to be owned by *gasp!* CHINA (or North Korea, or Russia, or Iraq-just insert current U. S. "enemy")!!"
Not only do they send the most Karen "archeologist" in their Rolodex (I'm old) to the jungles of Zimbabwe to recoil with shock at one local's mention of cannibalism, gasping in her Ann Taylor linens, veneers and gold jewelry ("that's a 'spy-hole'!" pointing out a little square left open in an ancient wall ruin while claiming that "these people obviously lived in terror". Brilliant.), they felt the need to go into a bit of detail regarding
TRIGGER WARNING
the corpses of burnt CATS littered about the Mt. Vesuvius area, and as if that weren't enough, one of the d-bag talking heads-is it another "science journalist"? Or just a plain "journalist"? What, they have a blog or something? SMH-excitedly, almost gleefully, recounts HOW the cats ended up this way, and no, they aren't accidentally being caught out by falling hot ash or lava. Apparently, arsonists are somehow covering their tracks by purposely performing this beyond-horrific act, and these people have decided that we need to know exactly HOW they burn the cats alive. In detail. With fervour. Not shock, not disgust, but with that reality TV energy that they deem so necessary in order to be considered entertaining.
END OF WARNING
Unfortunately, I wasn't watching at this point, but was listening via earbuds WHILE I FED MY CATS, and it honestly didn't occur to me that they'd go into detail about it. I'd thought it was accidental, and was only half-listening, thinking they'd just move on from what I'd assumed was a scientist discussing a natural tragedy that had occurred, and that they'd at most discuss trying to solve an awful mystery.
Nope. Without warning, they blurted grisly details with great expediency immediately following. I ripped my earbuds out but their description was faster than my reaction, so I heard yet another detail of animal abuse that I will never forget.
Thanks SO much "History" channel! I really needed more ugliness in between my ears. Take your 20-something (does anyone else even MATTER anymore?) filler-lipped, baby-voiced, false-eyelashed bimbos (sorry, "explorers" and "experts"! Seriously)-did I mention that most of the men are average-looking-to-downright-dowdy and middle-aged or older? Yeah. That good ol' sexism ain't going anywhere-and your sensationalist, depressing GARBAGE and stuff it. Subscription cancelled.
Hamish Macbeth: Deferred Sentence (1997)
Here's What Really Happened
I love this woefully short-lived series. It's better than most other cop programs, e.g. Vera, Lewis, Morse, Shetland, etc., that go on far too long and become so tired, so stretched beyond credibility and believability, so repetitive and full of tropes that they end up ultimately forgettable and downright silly and yawn-worthy.
Hamish Macbeth is ultimate cosy 90s TV before everyone and everything became mean, gory, heartless and all about wealth, fame and youth!
But that's just my 10p.
This episode was an odd one; what was Hamish's impetus for being in this remote seaside village at all? I missed the villagers, and wasn't overly fond of the daughter's character. Being Carlyle's real-life GF at the time, I can't help but picture them perpetually drunk, loud and coarse and reeking of cigarettes! Apart from this, she was irrational, annoying, self-pitying and bitter; HM has terrible taste in women. I certainly did not miss Isobel, as I never do when she's absent-the screeching, over-acting, the put-on baby voice-the hardly subtle moustache (mean, I know, but seriously, stop trying to push how gorgeous she is! She's like a hirsute 10 year-old boy. Just sayin'...) Not a fan of the newly-shoehorned-in character of Jean, the 10-foot freak (Lachie Jr. Needed a match, I guess. Can't have him spending all his time with corpses), Isobel the strong, independent, big city girl 'journo' with her big-girl make-over, and Alex-the-nag, with her tiny body and huge head, affected chubby-tongued, breathless posh-speak: 'what'= a whispery 'hhhoowaht'. Trying too hard to be alluring and soft. Gimme Esme, Esme and more Esme, and I love Agnes too. Shirley Henderson drives me bats anyway, but her character is beyond annoying here, always looking like she's just had another good cry, and the affected passion between them is so unbelievably cringe, I always fast-forward. HM needed a funny, ballsy, independent, feisty but kind woman who wouldn't try to mould him or control him, or cling to him.
Anyway, Enoch's emotionally battered wife was attempting to leave him-and her daughter! Nice mothering there, lady! Oh, but she was so 'young' and 'beautiful' (aren't they ALWAYS pure angel, the victims of controlling spouses? Ugh.)
Do you get the feeling I haven't had a great time of it with women? Downright transparent, here.
So, I guess Enoch's very devoted, but mentally unhinged sister Barbara found out about his wife's plans to leave him, and surmising that he'd be better off a widower than a humiliated, jilted man, dumped by his much younger wife, Barbara pushed the wife to her death. She left the watch and cash on her, which somehow ended up with Claire, possibly kept as proof and protection, along with her witness statement, so that all would be revealed in the event of her untimely death. She was wary of Barbara's drunken husband Duncan, who also happened to be the local constable, because he perjured himself in order to protect her from incarceration. With Duncan's help, Enoch was kept clear of any allegations, but somewhat accepted the locals' suspicions of him, and along with Claire's and Duncan's silence, Barbara was kept out of the picture altogether.
Everyone went to great lengths to protect Barbara, which was a bit OTT, but writers will often add the trope of a bereft mother in order to gain sympathy for an otherwise nasty female character. In this instance, she went off of the rails due to multiple miscarriages coupled with the dread of a childless future. We may feel less sympathetic with the murder victim in this case due to her abandoning her daughter as well as her husband.
For as much focus as was put on the pocket watch, we're neither informed of its significance, nor how or why it came to be in Claire's possession, nor why Duncan was so desperate to get his hands on it.
I'm guessing that he was made aware of the fact that it was in Claire's or Enoch's possession to be used as proof; what did it prove, though? That Claire was there at the time of the murder, and she took it off of the body, so no one could question the validity of her being there when the victim was killed?
Duncan knew that if anything happened to his wife, Enoch and Claire would come forward to clear the former's name and divulge the truth, which would get him in trouble for obstructing justice, so when she died of natural causes, he kept her body in the freezer and told everyone that she'd gone out of town. He then proceeded to try to locate the watch and any other proof that Claire was harbouring.
The superfluous arc of Enoch's daughter returning to the village as an architect in order to rebuild the family home that she torched after her mother's murder, just added to the overall confusion and lack of cohesiveness in this episode. The constant Catholics vs Protestants bickering-Enoch was an ungrateful jerk!-, as well as Hamish lying about being Jewish, and the daughter's vandalising the church while calling her own father a murderer seemed like tacked on afterthoughts. Her character was totally unnecessary, but HM loves his messy women!
Tl/dr (as usual!): A mentally ill Barbara killed her beloved brother Enoch's fleeing wife 20 years prior, and everyone, including her constable husband, covers for her until her death during the episode opens old wounds and bares truths.
Kirstie (2013)
Cringe TV: One-Note Actors Spouting One-Line Jokes
So much of what makes any form of entertainment work is down to pure luck; it's about so much more than talent. E.g. As timeless as Frasier feels, a show gleaning chuckles from narcissistic pomposity and bottomless wealth will ring hollow in times of economic disparity and the endemic, insidious culture of self-promotion in the era of the "Influencer". Frasier worked well in its era, so much so that the planned reboot is destined to fail; an aged Kelsey hosting a podcast whilst surrounded by (and, as their likely banking on, perplexed and hilariously flummoxed by) a tedium of pierced, tattooed, overly-coiffed and fashionable ,Twittering tech-savvy genderless youngsters of every race, mocking his lack of awareness and his reluctance to replace his beloved sherry, "eclectic" mid-century modern earth-toned African-baubled decor and classical music with craft ales, artisan chilli, West Coast free-styling, and open-planned Scadi-chic container living. No doubt guest-starring a frail-looking Niles, anorexic, fillered, Botox'd, stretched and prickly Daphne, and an embittered, tired-looking Roz wearing too much eyeliner.
Side-splitting.
Because Seinfeld is "about nothing", it'll likely never come off as entirely dated; no matter how fathomless the characters' lack of humanity. Most can relate to the annoyance of daily living. However, no one should attempt to remake it because it needed every single element, in that particular era, to work. Jerry likely knows this, but he also doesn't keep marrying the same awful demanding entitled narcissistic blonde, so no alimony either.
Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld got very lucky. They nailed a combo of cringe, schadenfreude, and humour with a good balance of successful characters with abject failures. Somehow the results are more warm than mean, more friendly than cynical. And NO politics or current issues; just the minutiae associated with being alive.
Cheers isn't everyone's bag of chips-including mine-but there's obviously comfortable nostalgia to be found there for legions of fans, and the premise would work well in any era as long as the writers weren't forced to shoehorn any political agendas into the scripts. It worked because it was a true escape.
I've chosen these three shows because they were fairly decent-budgeted and non-formulaic sitcoms that are not just beloved classics, they're also cast with a few good examples of "nailed then failed" one-note actors who got lucky.
Smooth your hackles. As previously stated, it's all about the right writers, premise, material, performers, setting, directing and overall mood-at the right time. So much of life revolves around luck, or happenstance, but never so prevalent as it is in the entertainment industry.
There are a few actors who have worked steadily within the television industry, namely Ted Danson and Julia Louise Dreyfus (the former had a few cringe-worthy big screen roles that are best forgotten), and one whose laid back, down home country persona seems to appeal to the masses; Woody Harrelson plays Woody Harrelson in every film role. Nevertheless, he gets bums on seats. He's relatable and has acting chops.
However, none of the others has seen much success beyond the characters they are known for, and this is mainly due to the fact that they aren't particularly multi-faceted.
Kristie Alley, reprising her role as Rebecca-again-incessantly whines in her squeaky-sultry voice, is forever acting with her black fingernails scrabbling at the air, clutching them in front of her as she flaps about in her attempts at making us believe that she's a naughty, waifsy, saucy little imp. I don't care that she's overweight, but all of the flirty flustering about in stilettos, as if she's just learned to walk in them, the giggling, the flapping, indicates that she's attempting to channel her inner pixie; it's not attractive. Kirstie seemed to have a low enough opinion of herself that she wrote less of an autobiography than a list of sexual conquests, and I suspect that the constant jabs at her love of food (e.g. Eating cookies "like a hyena on a zebra"), are attempts to mask the pain that forced her to overeat in the first place. We know how one gets fat. It's too bad her children, good fortune, fame, or sultry beauty couldn't make her care enough about herself to tackle why she wasn't able to overcome her self-destructive tendencies.
And is there a large audience for easy women? When did trashy become synonymous with sexy?
Anyone can copulate; making sex, and/or the conquest of it, the core of your existence is as tiresome as it is troublesome-and troubling.
It ain't love, honey.
Michael Richards will forever be Kramer. He's rubbery, awkward and prone to pratfalls, but he isn't particularly funny. You can see that he's trying not to be Cosmo, but he's simply not good at it. He got VERY lucky.
One can see Rhea Perelman's so-called script could've been written on a set of cocktail napkins. It's so painfully obvious, and she simply couldn't act her way out of a paper bag. Carla was never fleshed-out as a character; she was truly awful, and that's it. No one in their right mind would've employed her. She also got lucky. Really lucky.
Jason Alexander is probably a nice guy who knows he got lucky, but that doesn't make him good at his job. I have the feeling that if he isn't George, he's forgettable. Why did he, for the love of God, have an English accent and a ponytail in his episode??
The less said about the detestable Kathy Griffin, the better, but I'm having a go nonetheless. Was Repugnant and ugly inside and out. Bitchiness is best left to ageing drag queens, not talentless miseries desperate to be seen as "pretty". Her insecurities and self-hatred are on full display as in lieu of humour or cleverness, she does little apart from cutting others to pieces, which, thankfully, will only serve to propel her decent into inevitable obscurity.
I fast forward any scene containing the grating, tanning-bedded, quack-faced, baby-voiced, platinum extension-flipping void that is Kristen Chenoweth. Hollywood has been trying to pull her off of Broadway and plant her on our screens for decades, but she belongs firmly rooted with her ilk of tightly-wound, over-acting, hyper, fellow scenery-chewers that seem to crowd the landscape of musical theatre. She possesses all of the sensuality, subtlety, softness and femininity of a Bedazzled, oily, mahogany-veneered stripper's pole. Again, who finds this sexy?
The son and the cook could've been played by literally anyone. The former actor is lucky that he's so unappealing, otherwise we'd focus on how boring he is. His donut shop co-worker has more presence. The stock hot Latina actress could be any number of busty lusty women who populate Telemundo or the multitude of "novelas" seen via satellite TV (likely streaming now; I'm old).
I actually own the only season of Kirstie. I'm always on the prowl for a good, cosy sitcom, but I've only viewed this a few times. As mesmerisingly beautiful as she was (I'd give up an arm to have ¼ of the hair she still has, even if much of it is extensions), it's a wonder she couldn't find some sort of successful vehicle for herself. This definitely wasn't it.
Eo (2022)
A Feat In Eastern European Arthouse Poseurdom
What was I expecting from this particular director hailing from this particular part of the world?
Whimsy? Warmth? Beauty? Heart? A meaty storyline presenting well-rounded and fleshed-out characters? Feels?
Maybe ANYTHING resembling the carefully cultivated, highly misleading trailer?
I certainly wasn't anticipating Winnie The Pooh, but I wrongly assumed that as a whole, we'd decided that we'd decided in our current culture that we were elevated, knowledgeable and empathetic enough that we didn't need to stoop to abject animal brutality to get eyes on our "art".
There's seemingly no end to the depths of depravity, the endless stream of "gorn"; page upon page, line upon line of über violence, torture, gratuitous humping, abuse, avarice, hatred, glamorising demons and the undead, forever scraping the bottom of the barrel for more blood, shock, pain and psychopathy.
Just when you thought there wasn't an inch left to spare, this director sinks even lower-and gains an Oscar nomination for it as well as the coveted Jury Prize at Cannes for his efforts.
BRAVO! You've arrived-you're a true artist, stuffing the engorged gobs of the greedy, slathering bourgeois. ENCORE! Drape me in the pelts of small, frightened furry things, force-feed a goose for my pâté and truffle toast, imprison a gentle calf to satiate my desire for the tenderest meat.
I am a cognisant, bi-pedal being, therefore I do what I want, when I want, no matter the ramifications, because my insatiable, desperate need for pleasure, power and thrill knows no bounds.
What's that? Dior is putting fur on the runways this season? SQUEE! Is a Kardashian wearing it?? OMG I'm SO there!
Is exploitation in this season? I can't recall. I have to be really careful because I'm very special/important/INFLUENTIAL; my 15 minutes of Twotter/Instacram fame are almost up.
Please love me.
LOOK at us. What have we become? Anti-cruelty is an outdated TREND? Kindness and compassion, humility and appreciation, depth, earned merit and character are passé? I don't blame the planet for trying to chuck us off.
Do you wonder why you're depressed, hopeless, anxious, empty? Really.
Really?
Really:
Watch at the peril of any joy you may contain in your shrivelled black heart.
Things to look forward to: And NO this doesn't warrant the respect of a "spoiler" warning:
The most sweet-faced little donkey put in incredibly stressful situations in order to get that perfect shot of utter dross/nonsense, e.g. Standing on a high bridge adjacent to a gushing, roaring dam (donkeys have extraordinarily sensitive ears)-which inexplicably runs in reverse and slomo (breathtaking imagery and such a unique vision, but not as spectacular a display as the red-tinted upside-down windmills! YAWN), crammed in with a herd of cattle being forced into an abattoir: It's obviously very distressed as it's holding its tail firmly between its legs. The proof is always in the tail, but the handler is there with a switch to ensure the donkey moves forward, toward the stench of death and blood, despite the risk and its fear of being crushed under hoof.
She is also beaten by football hooligans and surrounded by drunken white trash in a room filled with blaring techno while a loser blows smoke directly into her nostrils. If you find this at all entertaining or humorous, stick to reruns of Only Fools and Horses where the only thing traumatised will be your rapidly atrophying brain cells.
-A close-up, slow pan over a wolf that's been freshly shot
-A trapper's den complete with a multitude of beautiful terrified extraordinarily stressed caged vulpine breeds, one being lifted and carried by its tail, screeching (there's no way this wasn't real)
-a bird carcass thrown into a shot
I saw no evidence of Humane Society approving if any of this, no seal proving that there was a representative on site at all times, so the little snippet stating that "no animals were harmed" at the end means nothing. You don't need to show me that the world is a terrible place populated by awful people who torture animals and show complete disregard for all living things. I get it.
The entertainment industry isn't paying attention. We're desperate for "feel-good"-starving for it. Who are all of these saddos who can't get enough of the violence and murder and horror? Does no one do a minute's research? All one has to do is look at the reviews for movies like Paddington; cute, but not necessarily deserving of the overtly glowing accolades it's received. It's not a bad film, but its popularity proves that we need true escape now more than ever.
There's a reason that those big, Technicolour musicals are so timeless and were so popular; the world had been through so much war and economic despair. Did we get lazy? Spoiled? Do we need to nearly blow the world apart before we stop trying to drag each other down?
I'll need to watch a few Ozu films or crack open my Ghibli collection to clear this one out of my head.