NBC, I want those 60 minutes of my life back. What was I thinking? I was 12, so I my only excuse was that I wasn't thinking when I decided to watch the pilot for this steaming pile of drek. Simon McCorkindale as a guy who can morph himself into any animal he chooses? Sounded intriguing, except that they could only afford to show him as two different animals(typically a panther or a hawk) and only once or twice an episode at that. The rest of this boner is just soap opera schlock and not even well written schlock to boot. This has earned a place in television history as one of the worst shows ever and by all means that is a distinction that is well-deserved.
Reviews
3 Reviews
Spider-Man
(1967–1970)
Listen bud, he's got radioactive blood.
29 September 2001
Oh my mis-spent youth. It still feels like yesterday that I would tune in to Channel 32 in Chicago and watch the adventures of one of my favorite superheroes (cool is he is, Spiderman still can't surpass Superman or Batman though). It always amazed me how once Peter Parker donned the Spiderman mask, his voice automatically got deeper. To understand what I mean, you just need to imagine the voice of Burt Ward suddenly being replaced by Adam West. What's more, Spiderman actually had real-life problems. In addition to worrying about bad guys like Electro and the Green Goblin, Parker had to deal with his aging Aunt May, keeping his job at the Daily Bugle, and trying to land a date with Betty Brant. It's nice to see a superhero that also has to worry about paying the rent just like us schmoes. To sum it all up, Spidey taught me the truest of all comic book adages: "With great power comes great responsibility."
Space Cowboys
(2000)
I'd rather ride the Vomit Comet
8 July 2001
It has been said that the four saddest words in the English language are "What could have been." Or wait, maybe it's "the buffet is closed." For our purposes, I'll stick with the first one. I was drawn to this film by it's all-star cast and the subject matter for space exploration has always been an interest of mine and I thought that this movie would be ginchy fun. Curse me and my thoughts. This movie concerns a group of four pioneer astronauts, brought back into service to repair a Russian satellite whose orbit is decaying. The entire second act of the film follows the four as they weave their way through the NASA training program, dodging cliche dialogue ("I'm getting too old for this s--t") and predictable plot devices (gee, will the old geezers really make it?) The film's "surprises" and "twists" were practically broadcasted by the screenwriter with a megaphone. Only the performances by the actors make this even watchable. So if you want Clint, see "Unforgiven." If you want Tommy Lee, see "The Fugitive." Heck if you want James Garner, rent "Tank" for crying out loud. Save yourself!
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