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Reviews
The Ruins (2008)
One of the best horror movies I've ever seen---Major spoilers.
Going in to the Ruins, I expected mediocrity; the ads on TV sort of reminded me of the dreadful Turistas. I went to see it anyway, and it was fantastic: horrifying, disturbing, gory, and had moments where I even laughed out loud (after getting oral sex in the beginning--which you don't see--one of the main characters asks another why he seems so happy (afterwards), to which all he does is smirk). Then it begins to get eerie and ominous.
A fellow tourist in the resort that these 4 Americans are befriends them, and asks if they want to go see some of the ruins--his brother had gone there with a girl he met and hasn't returned yet (their fates presumably revealed in the creepy opening scene). They go along, and after that, all hell breaks loose.
Six people depart for the ruins, and when they get at the base of the temple, many of the locals surround them. Everything was fine until Amy steps on one of the vines, and the locals freak out, killing one of the group (someone that no one really knows)...
The locals threaten the other five, and they go up the temple (where the locals wont follow them). Panicking, they try to think of a way out. Finally, they hear a cell phone ring coming from inside the temple. Mathias, the tourist whose brother has gone missing, notes that it is, in fact, his brothers cell phone ring tone. He volunteers to go into the temple via rope, but it breaks towards the top, and he falls down into the temple, paralyzed. Stacy goes down to help him, but finds that his back is broken. Amy goes down into the cave with a back board (so that Mathias could be brought up). Once they are back up on the temple, it is realized that the cell phone is the only way that they could help Mathias, as he is in a terrible condition.
Amy and Stacy go into the temple to search for the phone, but find the source of the ringing, which, needless to say, is not actually a phone. Amy finds, to her horror, that the flowers, by vibrating the stems, can imitate sound. She touches the flower, and the vines begin to attack. They run back to the rope, and get pulled up.
Stacy has a deep cut near her knee and Mathias is in terrible condition. They go to sleep, slightly frazzled and think they are going insane, and wake up to find that Mathias's legs have been completely overrun by the vines, and Stacy's leg is also covered, and a vine has entered her wound.
That's where I will leave off with the summary, as it truly needs to be witnessed in order for the full effect of the movie.
However, after this, the movie changes from just an ordinary, sub-grade horror film, to an actually intellectual story. Hunger, thirst, and paranoia set in (especially in Stacy--who wholeheartedly believes that the vines are crawling around in her), and she begins to descend into madness.
This movie has two of the most disturbing scenes I have ever seen in a movie. I will not reveal what these are, but, trust me--after you have seen it you will Definitely know what ones I am referring to.
It turns out, the locals were at first trying to protect the tourists, until Amy stepped onto a vine, when it turned into a quarantine. This is revealed in a chilling scene where Amy throws a peace of the vines at the locals, and it comes into contact with a young boy. The men tell him to get with the others by the temple, to which he refuses. The men reply with a bullet in his head. The vines grow anywhere--they even begin to grow on the tourists clothes.
Go see this movie, it truly is a thought-provoking, stomach-churning, and disturbing movie. As I left the theaters I felt mortified (in a good way) about what I had just watched. It was spectacular, gory, intellectual, horrifying fun.
Spider-Man 3 (2007)
Worst of the 3, but not horrible
A lot of people are saying how terrible Spider-man 3 is. It is not terrible, but it also isn't great. Because many people expected it to blow their minds (which it definitely fell short of doing), this movie was still entertaining as hell, funny, and Venom was amazing. Here are some problems I do have with it:
1. Venom doesn't come into the movie until there are 20-ish minutes left; most of the movie focuses on a giant mound of sand for a villain. 2. There was WAY too much going on; they should have focused on a few story lines, leaving out the jealousy and romance of Peter and Mary-Jane (kinda became a chick-flick). Again, this should have been Venom's movie. 3.Lame, lame, lame ending. (I mean, come on...) 4. at least an hour that could have been spent doing something better but chronicled Peter being a jerk, etc.
They got lazy and could have made this much better than it actually was. To end the way they did was shocking because they worked so hard in making this movie and appeared to have given up at making a good ending (seriously--its corny and dumb).
Still, this movie was VERY entertaining, good story, awesome special effects, loved Venom, SAndman was OK (but he's still just a giant mound of sand...). Still, a movie with such good predecessors should be equally great and this movie wasn't, which is why everyone felt let down by it. If this movie came out independently of the other two, people would have to at least given it a 5/10 because that is what it's worthy of. Still...I hope that Spider-Man 4 returns to the things that made the 1st and 2nd truly great.
Grindhouse (2007)
Best Movie I Have Seen In A While
Grindhouse was the best movie I have seen in a very long time. Both segments of this movie (Rodriguez's "Planet Terror" and Tarantino's "Death Proof") both proved to be solid, entertaining thrillers that would have been standouts even if the gimmicky double-feature had not come into play. "Planet Terror" was outrageously funny and gory and a crowd pleaser in every way. "Death Proof," while slower-paced and less violent than "Planet Terror," was (in my opinion) the better of the two. The dialog (as you would expect from Tarantino) was amazing and intriuging, and the action--when there was some--was PHENOMENAL. Also, "Death Proof" had one of the best car chase scenes EVER. The highlight of the movie, however, was Eli Roth's "psuedo-coming attraction" THANKSGIVING (that trampoline will get ya!!). I loved the cheesy, campy effects to this movie. EVERYTHING WAS PERFECTLY DONE. Bravo to Rodriguez and Tarantino.
Dead Silence (2007)
Worst Movie I Have EVER SEEN
This was truly the worst movie I have ever seen. I was dragged to the movie by a couple of friends with low expectations, but I was still blown away by the awfulness of this movie. Also, I was very surprised by the makers of "Saw" (arguably the best horror movie ever made) behind this dribble. Bottom line: this movie was terrible. There was absolutely no scares or violence (you never even see the puppets move--except their eyes) and the movie felt like it was 10 minutes long because NOTHING at all happened. Somebody dies, Boy is accused of murder, Boy Goes to old town, Boy snoops around, BAM--END. Do not waste your money on this piece of garbage that passes its self off as a horror movie. Use the $9 to see a truly AWESOME movie like Grindhouse.
The Grudge 2 (2006)
Very Good
When I saw the first Grudge movie, i thought it was horrible, pointless, stupid, and not scary at all!! I was dragged to the Grudge 2 by a couple of my friends who for some reason loved the first one. While i was sitting through the movie i got more and more into it and it began to break away from the original grudge plot line and made a lot more sense to me. I still do not know why that little kid meows, but he is very creepy and i loved how this movie did not have a happy ending---at all. it was a somewhat refreshing experience after all of the lame happy endings of some of these horror movies. Even if u hated the first grudge, like me, this grudge is much better and i recommend it to everybody.
Freak Show (2006)
This show is awful! Don't waste your time.
This is probably the worst television show I have ever seen. This steaming pile of garbage is not worthy of taking Drawn Together's time spot after South Park. The usually hilarious David Cross is disappointing and the animation is all crappy. Above all, I don't think I laughed one time throughout the course of the entire show! This once original idea had a lot of potential, but it is trying to be smarter than it actually is, and the smart-comedy In't...well, smart comedy at all. The things that were smart were mere references and the things that almost made me laugh were not supposed to. Do not waste your time on this show, just wait a couple of weeks until it gets cancelled and watch the next cartoon comedy central has to offer. Hopefully it will be better than this.