teepack-75312 Reviews

A Royal Christmas Crush (2023 TV Movie)

Dreadful and inane

[4/10 · 11 July 2023]

Hallmark's Christmas in July original movies are either really great (Crashing through the Snow) or major duds, and this one falls squarely in the latter camp. An inane premise (some nondescript Royal Family commissions an ice castle to be built each year for them to spend the holidays), terrible casting (pretty sure the Prince's mom is about the same age as the Prince) and an insipid plot drag this one to the depths of barely watchable. The royal family hardly spends any time in the ice castle. Stephen Huszar's accent comes and goes, and he can't decide if he's supposed to do an English accent or a Nordic accent, so mostly it comes across as a half-hearted attempt at trying to be a snob. A papparrazo wanders around snapping photos at his leisure. Where's security? The only thing this movie had going for it is Katie Cassidy has the prettiest eyes, which apparently won over Huszar because they are now an item.

The Love Club (2023–2024)

Not worth watching

[2/10 · 6 March 2023]

I had somewhat high hopes for this movie. The premise seemed okay (another Wedding Veil kind of thing with a group of friends who support each other) but this one went off the rails fast. The heroine gets engaged in the opening scene and then immediately goes off on a ladies weekend looking to connect with a pen pal from her college days to see if he is her soulmate. And none of her friends seem to think there's anything wrong with saying yes to a proposal and then immediately trying to find another man? When she meets him, she lies and pretends to be the interior designer he's hired to redo his inn. Lie after lie after lie. This movie ended up being a dumpster fire on an out-of-control barge floating down a burning river. It almost became the second Hallmark Channel movie to receive a 1 from me, but I wanted to leave "If I Only Had Christmas" in a class by itself.

Shotgun Wedding (2022)

Not what I expected

[4/10 · 4 February 2023]

I really thought this would be better. I didn't feel any chemistry between JLo and her co-star. The story couldn't make up its mind if it wanted to be a comedy or serious action film and landed somewhere in between. Fans of action films will be like, Why are these people acting so dumb? And fans expecting a comedy will be shocked at some of the violence. This should've leaned more into Paul Blart territory but tried to be more like the Patriot Games with a laugh track. It just didn't achieve any semblance of cohesion. JLo tried but couldn't save this train wreck. Worth a watch if you're bored. But your life won't be incomplete if you miss it.

Astonishing Tales of Terror: Rocktapussy! (2022 Video)

Better than expected

[7/10 · 26 December 2022]

You never know what you'll get with independent, low-budget films, but this one was better than I expected. A cross between a 1950s alien movie and a fantasy-horror flick, it won't win any awards, but it was entertaining enough to keep me interested. The acting was mostly good, the production was stylish and titillation factor was high, thanks to Brigitte Kingsley's willingness to put it all out there. The plot was as thin as some of her outfits, but that's not why you invest 90 minutes of your life in a movie like this. The script included many humorous lines. The story held together for the most part, and the special effects were good enough. If you're looking for something you'll tell your friends they should watch so you can sound like a pretentious cinephile, this ain't it. But if you're looking to be amused for 90 minutes, I highly recommend. Just don't watch with your wife or girlfriend.

Haul Out the Holly (2022 TV Movie)

Dumb, insipid, lacking a cohesive plot but funny nonetheless

[7/10 · 5 December 2022]

If you accept the ridiculous premise of this movie, it is one of the funnier Hallmark movies ever. If you can't buy into it, you'll turn it off after about 30 minutes, which is what I did initially. But then I went back and finished it and was pleasantly surprised. It had many humorous lines and situations and over-the-top characters that take some getting used to. Getting Ned from Groundhog Day and basically letting him run amok was either an ingenious choice or a colossal waste of his talents. Where you land in that debate depends on how well you can buy into the (lack of a) story. This movie has no plot. Lacey's character's parents are two of the most reprehensible human beings ever in a Hallmark movie. Heaven help any non-Christian that moves into a neighborhood that forces you to celebrate Christmas and decorate your house like you're trying to win a contest. Yes, it was dumb. Yes, nothing was at stake. Yes, Lacey and Wes's characters had no reason to fall for each other. But despite all that, or perhaps because of it, it was pretty funny, and Wes and Lacey played their characters to the utmost. I might even watch it again next year.

Ghosts of Christmas Always (2022 TV Movie)

Left me in tears and ready to watch it again

[10/10 · 2 November 2022]

My wife and I have been watching the Countdown to Christmas movies for years. We love the familiar actors and storylines. The movies rarely get us out of our comfort zones. You know what to expect. And then a movie like this comes along and upsets the Apple cart in a most unexpected and enjoyable way.

Coming up with a unique twist on the Scrooge story is a challenge, and this film was up for it. The cast was great and featured mostly new to Hallmark talent. The chemistry between the leads was palpable. The script was filled with genuinely funny moments and created a believable take on a well known classic. I was bawling the first time I saw it. It brought me to tears the second time I watched it as well. This is the first Hallmark movie I have ever rated a 10.

Marry Go Round (2022 TV Movie)

Most unlikeable characters ever

[5/10 · 21 September 2022]

A good Hallmark movie tugs at your emotions and makes you feel good inside. This one tugged at your emotions alright, but it churned you up inside and left you angry and hurling things at your TV.

Amanda Schull and Brennan Elliott are two of my favorites, and they do their best to make this watchable, but in the end both of their characters come across as selfish and insensitive. The mom is an absolute self-absorbed monster, and the forced use of a Merry-Go-Round is head-scratching. At the end, when it would've made sense to use the Merry-Go-Round, they don't.

One of the worst of the year. Won't watch again. Would've been better off as a horror movie.

Marry Me in Yosemite (2022 TV Movie)

Nothing new here

[5/10 · 7 September 2022]

Cindy Busby has done this movie before. I found her character both clueless and selfish. The conflicts they tried to set up were resolved within the same scene repeatedly. Can she find the reclusive guide (haven't seen him in weeks. But hey, complete stranger, here's directions to his house.) (No I will not help you. Ten seconds later: Okay sure I'll help, but I can't start until next week. Okay I'll start tomorrow.) The script was sorely lacking. There was no palpable chemistry between the leads. If my son hadn't visited Yosemite this summer (we asked him many times, did you see this?) the movie wouldn't have been worth watching. But the scenery was great.

Love in the Limelight (2022 TV Movie)

Sorely lacking

[5/10 · 8 August 2022]

Was hoping for more from this one since it was based on a true story but it was sadly lacking. It took two tries to get through it. Boring doesn't begin to describe it. Had a few good scenes, but not enough to hold my interest. Your life won't be incomplete if you miss this one.

Jingle Bell Princess (2021 TV Movie)

Nothing to see here folks

[5/10 · 5 July 2022]

It's clear GAC at this point is getting Hallmark rejects. This story was beyond dumb - a Princess stranded in a small Maine town when her private plan takes off without her. If something like this really happened, everyone on the plane would have been fired the second the plane touched down without the Princess. Merritt Patterson tried her hardest, but Trevor Donovan seemed to check out halfway through. Hopefully they'll get better material to work with in the future.

Moriah's Lighthouse (2022 TV Movie)

Not memorable at all

[5/10 · 28 June 2022]

This one misses the mark on almost every occasion. The actors' didn't maintain their French accents consistently. The attempts at comedy fell flat. The main conflict (Moriah getting upset that a house she doesn't own is being renovated) is lame. The French Resistance storyline shoehorned in made no sense. I sensed zero chemistry between Luke and Rachel. Just a mess of a movie, unfortunately.

The Rideshare Killer (2022)

Better than its rating

[8/10 · 20 June 2022]

Too many people rate movies on IMDb and don't take into account the factors that go into a blockbuster, ie budget, budget and budget. Big budgets get big talent, lavish sets, expensive locations, etc. A low-budget movie like this one shouldn't be rated on the same scale as movies like Saving Private Ryan or anything from Disney or Marvel. They need to be rated against other similar movies in terms of genre and budget, which is why I gave this one eight stars.

For its genre and budget, this one is entertaining enough. It sets up the mystery, builds the tension and keeps the story moving forward. The acting is okay and the cinematography good. It looks and feels like it was made by folks who know what they're doing and are limited only by the amount of money they had to spend.

Rip in Time (2022 TV Movie)

Best Hallmark movie of 2022

[9/10 · 30 May 2022]

I know that's not necessarily saying a lot, but this one was so well done. Greta acting by Torrey DeVitto and Niall Matter and the supporting cast. A script by C. Jay Cox that was funny and clever. Wonderful understated directing that didn't try to get in the way of the story. Will watch again.

Romance to the Rescue (2022 TV Movie)

Another one not worth watching again

[6/10 · 23 May 2022]

This one falls right in the middle of Hallmark Channel movies. Nothing stands out to elevate it above the pack, and it's not so bad that it can be considered unwatchable, even for Hallmark standards. The story/plot/script is moribund (another single woman with a list of traits that make a perfect mate, and she'll settle for nothing less than a man who checks all the boxes), and it relies too much on the cuteness of the dog to carry the day. Throw in a co-worker who is openly hostile for no apparent reason and keeps calling her a name I can't understand (Keener?), and this one climbs onto the pile of movies not worth watching again. I had high hopes for this one, but they were dashed.

Warming up to You (2021 TV Movie)

Better than expected

[7/10 · 16 May 2022]

Like many, I was disturbed by the thought of Chris Russell in a fat suit and the potential for body shaming. But despite my initial misgivings, this movie turned out better than expected. The fat suit was an epic fail and totally unnecessary (just have him wear baggy clothes), but the story was engaging enough, and they snuck through a couple of lines that I never thought I'd hear in a Hallmark movie (a female character whose last name is Netherregions and a reference to someone dropping a deuce after you hear a toilet flush in the background?). Overall an enjoyable watch.

Road Trip Romance (2022 TV Movie)

Meh but not unwatchable

[5/10 · 15 May 2022]

As far as road trip romances go, this one came across like a 1970s AAA road map. Once you open it up, it's almost impossible to fold it back the right way and you end up shoving it into the glove box a jumbled mess. This one lured you in with the premise of road trip hijinx, but in the end it just comes across as flat and the hijinx mostly forced. I like Natalie Hall, but her character was rude to a lot of people (and the backstory with Corey was just a little overdone). The Renaissance Faire added some entertainment, but also went on for way too long. The subplot with the conniving wallflower bridesmaid got way too much screen time, and the ending was just ridiculous. And for the second time this year, Hallmark allows the maid of honor to turn her toast to the bride into a soliloquy about herself. It had its moments, but not enough to merit watching again.

Love, Classified (2022 TV Movie)

After a rocky beginning, this movie rocked it

[9/10 · 19 April 2022]

I almost turned this one off after the first 20 minutes. So much was going on in that chaotic opening that I didn't know what was happening. But once the story settled down, this became a really sweet, sexy and fun movie. Traditional (i.e. Narrow-minded and homophobic) Hallmark fans will pan this one because it centered around a same-sex romance, but it was so well done that you found yourself rooting for the two heroines. It was particularly poignant because one of the ladies had never considered she might be attracted to the same sex so was dealing with her conflicted emotions as well. Adult conversations about sexuality and a same-sex couple at the forefront are something I never thought I'd see on the Hallmark Channel. Throw in a healthy dose of family drama, not to mention a bravura performance from Jan of The Office (Melora Hardin) fame, and this was a home run. Will watch again. One of the best of the year.

Welcome to Mama's (2022 TV Movie)

Made little sense

[4/10 · 1 March 2022]

This was a big miss. The plot made no sense. Mama left her restaurant to a woman she hasn't spoken to in years and who didn't even know Mama had died until after the funeral. And the chef of the restaurant apparently had no idea she had died, either, and she still owned the restaurant. Besides all that nonsense, the plot seemed stuck in neutral for the first half. They spent the first hour arguing about the menu (she wanted to change it, he wanted to keep it the same even though he was running the restaurant into the ground). Nothing beats doubling down on stupidity. Then after she finally convinces him to go back to Mama's recipes, she changes her mind and decides to go with his menu. You know, the menu that was scaring away customers? Just a big mess. And the exaggerated New York accents didn't help.

Cut, Color, Murder (2022 TV Movie)

Clumsy but entertaining

[6/10 · 21 February 2022]

As far as Hallmark Murder Mysteries go, this one wasn't terrible. I liked the concept of a hairdresser who's up on all the smalltown gossip assisting the police in their investigations, but of course the character has to go overboard and begin conducting her own independent inquiry. And then she makes the inevitable terrible choice to put herself in jeopardy so the heroic detective can rescue her. You don't watch these to be blown away by the story. It was entertaining but, like all their mysteries, not worth watching again.

After Life (2019–2022)

Well done

[9/10 · 16 February 2022]

My wife and I knocked out all three seasons in less than a week and enjoyed it quite a bit. It was dark, brilliant, poignant and always entertaining. Ricky Gervais was great. The secondary characters were quirky (sometimes too much). What keeps it from getting a 10 is that the story felt like it was stuck in mud at times, rehashing the same themes in multiple episodes. The last episode will leave you choking up, however. Great, but not as good as Ted Lasso.

Munich: The Edge of War (2021)

Revisionist history

[7/10 · 3 February 2022]

This movie is very well made, from the acting to the directing to the scenery and settings. The pacing is good and the story never bogs down. But it's important to remember this is historical fiction and represents a clumsy attempt to reframe Chamberlain's appeasement as part of a grand strategy to prolong the inevitable so that England could build its capacity to wage war is a bit of a stretch. It's fiction, not history.

North to Home (2022 TV Movie)

Another good outing from Movies and Mysteries

[7/10 · 25 January 2022]

Hallmark Movies and Mysteries has shown it likes to take on some heavy topics, particularly around the death of loved ones. This one was well-acted and well-directed but a little too heavy on melodrama, particularly between the sisters. An enjoyable film with strong performances. Really like Lyndsy Fonseca and hopes she does more movies with Hallmark, but feel like she's cut out for a more lighthearted role.

The Perfect Pairing (2022 TV Movie)

Enjoyable if predictable

[7/10 · 25 January 2022]

Nazneen Contractor has been a nice addition to the Hallmark stable of leading ladies, and Brennan Elliott is turning into one of the top leading men. The story was nice and even tried to drop some knowledge on us about ice wine. If you like amnesia movies, you'll enjoy this one.

Don't Forget I Love You (2021 TV Movie)

Just a big meh

[6/10 · 23 January 2022]

Fans of Hallmark movies will think this one's okay, but it's a tired rehashing of the same old plot lines. Single dad with precocious daughter. Dead moms everywhere. Two adults who decide to spend every day together for no apparent reason. It tries for some comedy but comes off as forced. Good to see Emilie Ullerup back, but I didn't think she meshed well with Clayton James. Your life won't be incomplete if you miss this one.

The Winter Palace (2022 TV Movie)

Not bad but not particularly memorable

[7/10 · 9 January 2022]

Wanted to see what the fuss was about with Danica's first GAC movie. It was okay. The script was a little bland, but there were a few funny moments. I like Neal Bledsoe as a royal. Overall this movie is worth a watch, but probably not worth watching twice.