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Reviews
Toscana (2022)
Poor remake of A Good Year
The summary is really all you need. As others have noted the scenery is lovely. The acting is forced and rushed.
Just skip this one and watch A Good Year.
Domain (2016)
Abysmal and Unwatchable
I had some hopes from the description. The premise was "interesting". Reviews were very mixed so I figured it was worth a shot and started to watch it. After 5 minutes I could not take it anymore. Just horrible.
The dialogue was positively insipid. Acting was poor and melodramatic. Thank goodness that I did not waste any more time on this.
Salt and Fire (2016)
90 minutes ... wasted!
It's hard to believe that the director of a film so profound and well- done as Rescue Dawn would produce such an utterly unwatchable movie as Salt and Fire.
I am only giving this 2 stars for the efforts of Michael Shannon.
The start was decent and one was wondering "ok what's going to happen now and what's this all about". Then the shoe drops and keeps falling and falling, never hitting ground.
This is perhaps the least watchable piece of would-be film art I've ever seen. It's just painful. Spare yourself the wasted time.
War Pigs (2015)
Darn good. It is Surprisingly Watchable
I have to say that I am not - repeat not - a Dolph Lundgren fan - not at all. In fact, I would usually say that his mere presence in any movie reduces it to a 5 of 10 - at best. However, in this case, he was pretty good. Maybe after some 30+ years he finally has gotten some acting chops.
The movie overall was pretty well done and felt reasonably authentic. I'm glad I watched it, and it was entertaining and sometimes felt immersive.
About the only thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the pretty constant back-talking from the sergeant in the early parts (in front of the squad no less!). To me, it felt unrealistic that his commanding officers would let that stuff slide over and over - figuring that they would earn his trust over time. I guess they were trying to emphasize the struggle to turn this ragtag bunch into a cohesive unit.
Paradox (2016)
Pretty bad. A good concept - ruined by the script, poor acting and direction.
Honestly, this movie may be summarized as "a good idea that was VERY Poorly Done". Paradox is just not worth your time, and I wish that I had read these reviews before wasting mine! Disregard the early reviews that thought this was a "good B movie". It's just not, and tragically not even close.
One may certainly go on to, quite rightly, criticize the director for his role in taking what could have been a decent B movie and just wrecking it. The dialogue was likely conceived by a 12-year old, replete with completely unnecessary colorful adjectives that added nothing whatsoever and certainly contributed to the cheese factor. One would readily think over and over that "people just don't talk this like ... EVER".
The acting? Please don't get me started. Simply mediocre, often melodramatic, and just not believable. Zoë Bell's performance was the sole worthwhile contribution of the entire cast.
I could go on, but what's the point? By now, my point is made and no one is reading anymore. Move on, and find a better use of your time.
The Visit (2015)
Thoroughly enjoyable. Night gets back toward his roots and should stay there
Overall, I really liked this movie. I can certainly understand why the reviews are, mostly, a mix of "love it / hate it". This won't be for everyone.
One thing that we look for in a Night film is that creepy factor and I personally got it in spades a bunch of times.
Are there things I would change? OK sure. The final scene that Night added with the two kids - move that to the very end of the credits, if you must have it at all. And I agree with some other posters regarding where the "real ending" should have been - with the kids in the police car. The scene after that with the mother just wasn't needed and was just unnecessary. Less is more.
What I would also like is if Night could have added a few clues that, if we were really paying attention, might have gotten us to figure out the reveal before the reveal. The kind of clues that most people PROBABLY would see on a second viewing but not as much the first time through. Now that he's made it, there will be all sorts of people saying that he could have done this or that, etc - well ... I'd LIKE to see an alt ending with a horror bent. From my black point of view, that would be better.
Should the kids have been "more creep'd out" sooner? Hmmm ... well maybe, but their grandparents ARE old ... and old people have problems and aren't we all taught how darn UNDERSTANDING we all need to be all the time now? When the big reveal happened ... OMG ... I was floored. Awesome! Anyway, this movie won't be for everyone and I'm not keen on the constant use of the hand-held cam but it mostly worked here. The movie probably only really deserves an 8/10 for me but I'm giving it a 9 to help balance all the, IMO, overwhelmingly nasty 1/2 star reviews.
Spy (2015)
Hilarious! Incredible! One of the BEST action comedies of all time!
This movie is truly flawless. Again and again, it sets up expectations and then wham - takes us on a different twist, often with just spectacular results. The entire audience was laughing out Loud, regularly! Some of us, and I include myself actually snorted with laughter.
Congratulations to everyone who wrote, directed, acted and filmed this piece. It was a total pleasure to watch, and we may well head back to see it again in the theater - it's just that good!
I can only hope that they are planning to make a sequel that will equal the original for it's creativity, polish and amazing combination of action, comedy and entertainment. THANK YOU for this movie!
Seal Team Eight: Behind Enemy Lines (2014)
Yeah it is pretty bad ... was hoping all those reviews were just a fluke
After 30 minutes I just couldn't take it anymore. I very nearly bailed after only 10-15 but didn't want to give up that easily.
In fairness, it looks like the production team was really TRYING here, and there really is some pretty good cinematography, and pretty cool visuals. They clearly had a decent budget and were trying to make good use of it, with many elements that might have been high-production value, but were just trashed with poor direction. I'm not blaming the actors - they were OK when they had good direction and decent lines. This was a massive fail by the director - it was beyond his abilities - and then some.
What just KILLED this movie for me, was some early fight scene - and it HAD been pretty interesting - to me. Part way into the scene they chose to suddenly incorporate some kind of incredibly inappropriate gangland rap music as the score. Really? Are you KIDDING ME? At that moment I lost my enjoyment and just never got it back.
Well gosh I just hope that I've got the minimum # of lines to allow this to be posted because this has gone on long enough and it's time to find something worthwhile to do. Maybe killing zombies? Hmmmm ...
Good luck! And move on ... this isn't worth your time.
Hercules Reborn (2014)
Horrific piece of dung. About the worst thing I've ever seen.
Please trust me - it's an utter waste of time! The ENTIRE "movie" ... if one is so generous to call it that, should be on the cutting room floor.
I would be done at this point, but apparently we're required to write at least 10 lines of text to submit a review. OMG ...
- 90 minutes I will NEVER get back
- Absurd plot
- BAD fight scenes
- Poor melodramatic acting most of the time
- The director should be banned from the industry
- Gosh I hope this is finally enough lines to hit submit!
Lucy (2014)
Could have been so much more! 1/2 half very good, then lost what it should have been ... along with its value
The first half of this movie was very good. The rest unfortunately lost itself with what, to me, they could have done with Lucy.
The visual juxtaposition of Lucy's initial capture with scenes from nature of an animal of prey running down the valiant but ultimately doomed animal was very well done, and served to heighten the scene. Everything was just great until after Lucy was first exposed, and the following pieces rapidly fell apart, leaving the rest of the story ultimately cold though visually interesting.
What they should have done with it, is have Lucy lose what we think of as our humanity, and normal boundaries of ethics/morals for her own personal survival, without regard for what that would take. Not to be killing for killings-sake, but merely that her new existence in nature would simply require her to "do what needed to be done".
These needs would then put her at odds not merely with the drug folks but also the authorities. Then this would be a nice illustration of what Morgan Freeman's diatribe of how some organisms leverage self- sufficiency vs. most - leveraging reproduction. Lucy could have then been driven to need the extra drugs, and gone off on a multi-country violent spree to gain the other three sachets, leaving a trail in her wake of bodies and dna. Then, forcing the authorities to track her down before she could attain the last - before she could reach 100% and then be unstoppable.
Ultimately, Lucy should have ended up being, through no fault of her own, a tragic figure who must be hunted down and killed before she became too powerful and jeopardized humanity and society at large.
A real shame that this film missed the mark, and could have been SO MUCH MORE, with their initial premise.
The Heat (2013)
super really funny movie! An absolute blast.
To my surprise this movie had me just laughing out loud again and again. McCarthy has so many fantastic lines and she delivered them perfectly. Practically a rolling on the floor funny movie. Bullock is just OK, and that's fine. McCarthy just stole the show and I couldn't wait to see what she would do and say next.
Sure sure it is NOT a deep movie, and there isn't a great plot or character development, etc. But if you just want a FUN movie with some great lines and to have a good time cracking-up at the utter ridiculousness of it all ... this movie is for you! Honestly it should be more of a 8 of 10 but I gave it a 9 to help balance out the overall rating to where it should be - IMO. Good times! I hope they can out-do it with the sequel.
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)
SUPERB! One of the best book adaptions ever
I rarely consider any movie deserving of a full 10, and I'm a pretty critical viewer. Even most great movies to me are perhaps a 9 at best, as there is usually something for me to wish for, or find fault in. There is just nothing lacking here. Catching Fire is BRILLIANTLY well-done. Acting, direction, cinematography ... all flawless or close enough.
Think of it as "inspired by the book". It follows all the pertinent elements from the writing but then takes everything to the next level. It's all very believable, visceral, and real.
This is also one of those movies that is just so damn good that I'll very likely spend the money to see it a 2nd time in the theater. BRAVO! I already am very much looking forward to the next one!
Ender's Game (2013)
We liked it but they could have been truer to the book in a few places
SPOILERS AHEAD - skip now if that's an issue for you.
The beginning was very strong, establishing that the children were all potential recruits. This was nicely done. I wish they could have done more with Valentine and Peter but there was only so much time so I get that.
The scene on the lake with the raft was a missed opportunity to really see Ender's inner struggle with what he must do to survive. They made an attempt at it but to me, it fell short of how he wrestles with his inner demons - his inner Peter.
The battle room was way cool. Very nicely done. I wish there could have been more exploration of that as a vehicle but there is only so much time and no doubt that stuff must have been pretty expensive to pull off.
Where I was definitely unhappy was the one time where Graff is in his office and they show the real fleet approaching the detection zone of the Formics. It was just under 30 days out, and to me, this hinders the suspension of disbelief that the war is "soon but not quite when". Sure I've read the book many times over the last 20 years so I KNOW what's going to happen but there is no need to make it so Blatant that soon is NOW, not ... in a few years. The stress of the timeline was best conveyed in the urgency of the dialog between Graff, Ender, Major Anderson, Rackam, and a few others.
The confrontation between Ender and Bonzo could have been REALLY good but clearly someone in Hollywood didn't want a child viciously taking out another on screen. It is tragic that they made Enders defeat of Bonzo into an accident. The whole notion of Ender is that he is forced to rely only on himself, that no adult will EVER come to his aid. And he MUST destroy, and not merely defeat his enemies, to make sure they can never ever hurt him. Someone really wimped out and oh gosh ... Bonzo hit his head when he fell - instead of Ender being shown to smash him ... and then - rightly so - being torn and tormented by his own brutality.
This fear of becoming Peter ... becoming the killer could then have been played out much better in the lake scene with Valentine.
Then we have the final confrontation ... and it's "game over" ... and the kids are like "yeah" and the adults in the observation booth are anything but ecstatic that he has done it and the world is safe. They played it a different way and it worked for what it was. But the way that it should have been was as written ... the kids exhausted at their months-long ordeal, finally over for now .... knowing that they'll be fighting it for real in the next few years .... and confused by the adults who are hugging, laughing and crying that it's over.
Another missed opportunity, at least to me, was near the ending, where Ender is on the forward outpost after the final conflict, and he meets the dying Queen. This would have been a great chance for Ender to have a monologue, expressing how sorry he was, and understanding that the Queen was also tormented by the murder that they had committed - not knowing then that each person was an individual and the sanctity of life. And that she forgave the humans. They really could have tied that into the notion that Ender would become a speaker for the dead ... as Mazer indicated in their interaction earlier.
Anyway ... it was good but not great. Ford was just outstanding as was Viola Davis. Asa Butterfield did a really nice job as Ender, a nice blend of cold calculation and empathy.
The Man from Earth (2007)
Good concept. Mediocre execution
Being a big fan of science fiction, I can understand how some will feel that this movie is "so innovative". Conceptually, it is but how they actually carried out the movie just makes it "so so" at best. I wanted to like this move, I really did. But I just can't.
Basically the movie is one giant wanna-be mental circle jerk, with a bunch of folks sitting around in a living room. The constant light music background score was annoying. It would have been much better if they had purely stuck to using real music, being played in the background, as they did at one point. After all - it's a going away party for the guy, right? So why not have music playing ...
One piece that particularly killed any hope of suspension of disbelief is the director's idiotic decision to take the out of shape and older Harry - the actor is 55 and isn't exactly well preserved, and have him make a mock attack and then claim that he's a 2nd degree black belt. Oh yeah ... black belt in buffet lines and lying on his couch .... maybe. Ridiculous.
I could go on, but as it is watching the movie is something like "90 minutes of my life that I won't get back". So I'm not going to compound this by writing up anymore.
Bottom line is that this is high concept and poor execution. It's just that simple.
The Thing (2011)
A really enjoyable movie, despite some small plot flaws. SPOILERS
Yes there will be some SPOILERS here - so if you don't want them the please stop now.
I've been a huge fan of the original since it came out. I only found out a few days ago that the new one was actually a prequel. And that got me excited, to see how that would play out.
First, the arctic scenery was incredible. Just stunning. It was very easy to believe that you had this small group of people in the middle of nowhere and that isolation would be put to work.
Aside from a few relatively minor points, I was quite pleased with how they pulled it all off. This review might look like it's mostly critical but I had a really good time watching this movie.
I for one was not put off by the initial attack by the creature. Bear in mind that until that moment, the creature didn't "know" that it was up against an intelligent species with tools, guns, flame throwers, etc. All it knew is that it woke up from a LONG sleep, and was presumably pretty hungry and feels like a cornered animal ... So to me it makes sense that it's initial attack was more overt and aggressive. It sure learned quickly that it's next moves needed to be more subtle.
I was NOT impressed with how they had the creature burst out of the ice block. That broke my suspension of disbelief. There's just no way that the creature would have had the leverage to pull that off. And so they missed out on finding a better way to do it.
The other thing that disappointed me was that, just as soon as they established that "hey ... one or more of us might not actually be human anymore ... ". Creepy right? And there are only 7 of them at that point. So what's the very next thing that they did? That's right - they split up into multiple tiny groups (at least 2 of these groups were only 2 people teams) - and went off to do different things, before then coming back together again. Are you freak'n kidding me?! Even IF there had been only ONE imitated human at that point, there sure as heck was going to be 2 (or more) - as they made sure that someone was going to be perfectly vulnerable while waiting for that test to be developed, and the surviving people to regroup.
Me? I'm thinking that EVERYONE needs to stay in one group from that point forward, until circumstances FORCE splits to happen. And they did a very nice job of that later on.
SIGH. But OK I'm not going to focus on that since they were TRYING to bring up the anxiety level and growing distrust among the group. And for a while they did a really nice job of that. It would have been nice if they kept it up for longer.
Anyway - see the movie and enjoy it for what it is! I'm looking forward to them making ANOTHER thing!
Retrograde (2004)
You hoped for good or even decent ... and then you noticed that it's a DOLPH movie ...
DOLPH?! He still makes movies? Really?
People actually invest money in movies that star Dolph? Really??
OMG ... well don't be shocked if you don't like this movie (or any that has him in it). I think that the ONLY recent movie with Dolph in it that was worthwhile was Expendables. They certainly understood that D's role MUST be minor at best and well-controlled or ... he'll probably take the entire movie down with him ... :-)
Bottom line, unless you are one of those people who are inexplicably drawn to Dolph ... don't see ANY of his movies ... unless you also appreciate being disappointed :-)
It is what it is ...
The Crew (1994)
TERRIBLE! Not sure which is worse: the plot (if one may say that it has one at all), the acting, or direction
The ONLY upside is that it was a free on demand cable movie. And ... in that regard it's "worth the price of admission". LOL. Seriously, not at all.
It's hard to gauge what exactly was worst:
- the plot (if one can say that it HAD one at all)
- the acting (gosh-aweful at best), especially that of Bill (Donal Logue)
As my girlfriend just summarized - this is officially "time that I am not getting back".
This is easily one of the worst movies ever. Please save yourself the wasted time. We were about halfway through when it became pretty apparent that this was "just one really bad movie" and looked for reviews.
Hamlet (2000)
Horrendous! Not so much ill-conceived as poorly implemented
I only give this 2 instead of 1, so that another may attempt a worse rendition of this play.
The whole thing is like "90's slacker" meets "shakespeare" meets "typical modern use of little stylistic clips - to substitute for proper cinema" meets "artsy modern garbage".
I particularly loathe Ethan's performance - uninspired, pretentious, and melodramatic. It's not that he can't act - he was great in Training Day. But the material with this format certainly doesn't suit. The cast in general has loads of great people, and the script is proved :-) So ... the director really screwed this up. Lastly, Bill Murray - Love him - but this is not the role for him.
Save your time - truly - this version is not worth your time.
The Prestige (2006)
Very good but ending lacked the dramatic impact that it might have
First the really good stuff - great style, sets, costumes, acting, etc. A very good period type piece and solid cast all the way around.
The only real weakness were a few of Nolan's decisions on the cutting room floor. A key "surprise" ending was perfectly obvious with 15+ minutes remaining. There was certainly no cascade of gasps in our theater as per Six Sense. A tragic weakness, as this film could have easy have been a 10 all the way around. Nolan could have accomplished the ultimate surprise ending that was horrifying and hit us with a huge "oh my god" but didn't.
I suspect that he simply underestimated the audience, that we would be too dumb to "get it" if he didn't fill in all the blanks ... and much too soon. Assuming that he did wish to ensure that the audience wouldn't miss the point, he could have had a little extra dialog between Angier and Borden at the end, and a little pan around with one of those awesome lanterns.
If you MUST assume that the audience is stupid, and needs all the pieces - then give them to us AFTER the reveal or DURING the reveal, not way way before.
Anyway, in most respects I did truly enjoy the movie and am glad to have seen it in the theater - it needs the big screen! But, yes, I feel left down as Nolan could have knocked this one out of the park. So, I won't go to the theater again but will definitely watch it again someday on DVD or Dish etc. Perhaps via a directors cut DVD we might see what this movie should have been.