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The American (2010)
Garbage.
What a load of horse manure!
It's been a while since I saw a movie so anemic, bland and stupid.
First, are we supposed to simpathize with a protagonist who ruthlessly kills his girlfriend in the back of her head right at the beginning of the movie simply because he's been made? He doesn't even attempt to save her, to take her with him, to send her to a safe house, to bribe her into keeping her mouth shut. No, no, no. Oh, his identity is blown by some unknown killers? So he caps her too, just in case. This makes his later infatuation with a prostitute totally believable!
Second. You're an assassin who needs to lay low and hide. What better place to do that than a small Italian community where everyone knows one another, people talk, and where an American "photographer" sticks out like a sore thumb?
BTW, the "photographer" never carries his camera around the town. Absolutely not suspicious.
Third. If you're an assassin hiding in a small Italian town, you can always mail-order a fine mini-14 with a scope and several kinds of ammunition. But not the silencer! Oops, suppressor (the difference between the two known only to Hollywood). Sorry, Cabela's is out of stock, so you have to make your own. And you can't find a better source of parts to build a suppressor than an old transmission shaft, that's how all suppressors are made! No special tools are needed - just a couple of hammers. You have to time your hits with the town's chapel clock so as not to make any suspicious noise. But you can drill all day long, no questions asked. A bottle of mercury can apparently be bought in the pizzeria on the corner. Or mail-ordered.
Fourth: No questions are asked even after a scooter rider is shot dead, and another guy is found dead after an epic scooter-after-a-beatup-fiat chase that would make any James Bond movie pale in comparison. Two dead bodies by the morning, and the local police doesn't even bother coming to ask a few questions to a strange foregin photographer who's never seen carrying a camera around town.
Fifth. To cap a wash-up assassin, you absolutely have to come up with an expensive ruse to make him build that rifle himself, and then shoot off the top of a church during a mass procession. Can't just quietely ambush him on one of the countless crooked streets of this ancient town or poison his coffee.
Finally. Clooney, if you're about to play someone dangerous, like an international assassin who heartlessly kills women and other assassins, how about spending a month or two in a gym? You know, to pump up a bit, like many of your Hollywood colleagues do before shooting, just to make your character at least remotely believable? Sorry, a few push-ups and chin-ups weren't scintillating.
So, just two stars. Why two? Because Violante Placido showed her two beautiful breasts - the only bright spots in this 2 hour parade of mediocrity and stupidity. One star per nipple.
That's all this movie is worth.
Willy's Wonderland (2021)
Did Nicolas Cage really have to fall this low?
Pure garbage. This is one of those trash DVD that end up selling for $1 in the Dollar Tree and no one buys unless someone needs something to put under a wobbly table.