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Reviews
Daisy & Ollie (2020)
Awful
Beady-dead-eyed, perma-grin horror children learn fairly mundane things, with a robot and a monkey, (seriously, why no whites in their eyes? *shudders*)
This show is HEAVILY voiced by Jason Manford, man of a thousand voices, all of them...Jason Manford. I like Jason Manford as a comic, but his acting and singing is less appealing.
"Highlights" of Manford's vocal "abilities", are his "American" robot. Who's back story presumably included previous time spent as a factory machine in Manchester?
Another is his POC postman, who sounds like a somewhat offensive impression of fellow comic, Jon Bishop.
I guess I should be grateful Mamford at least avoided doing a Jamaican or Kenyan accent! (And let's not even get into the ugly subject of black characters being voiced by white actors, like some modern minstrel act. Couldn't find a black voice actor, Jason?).
And as if white washing the vocal pool, voicing everyone, and butchering their accents wasn't bad enough, the kids TV crime of all crimes is committed here too...Using a grown woman to do a screechy little girls voice. Eurghh!! It's horribly irritating to the nth degree. Just because the Simpsons pulled it off, doesn't mean you can too.
Most other shows have learned to use child voice actors. Sadly Daisy and Ollie is trapped firmly in the tacky past.
My two year old daughter genuinely yells, "uh oh" or "oh no" and gets her lego out the second this comes on, and I couldn't be more proud of her.
Arcane: League of Legends (2021)
Imaginative, and beautiful to look at.
Arcane is a little slow to start. It takes some time building it's world and introducing it's characters, but it's worth the time investment. By episode three, the story really starts to shine.
The main plot might not be the most original, either. Family divided by trauma and loss, etc. But it is handled well and is full of fleshed out characters, who have believable motivations. (Which is rare lately). There also some good sub plots that start to tie into the larger story.
I found that I really started to care about the myriad protagonists and their troubles.
The animation is excellent. 3D animation which is textured with an almost oil pastel effect, is mixed with some more traditional 2D effects. Producing some really stunning results.
It's similar in style to the recent Spiderverse movie, but I feel Arcane utilises the effect even more successfully.
The utopia/dystopia, steampunk/fantasy/sci-fi setting designs are beautiful. If you are a fan of indie animation, Manga and the like, these settings won't be new to you, but Arcane's art style really brings them to life.
The voice acting is solid throughout, with some really emotionally charged standout performances. (Young powder's desperate tears, will move even the coldest of hearts!)
While I've tried the game League of Legends, and I am vaguely familiar with it's characters, I was never really drawn in. Even with that being the case, it hasn't marred my experience of the series.
Even if you aren't a seasoned League player, don't be put off. You don't need to be a fan, or know League's existing lore, in order to enjoy this.
It really is a beautifully animated, and nicely written series, that effortlessly stands on its own two feet.
Atlanta: Teddy Perkins (2018)
The horror!
If Donald Glover gets bored of comedy, he has a bright future in horror.
Genuinely unnerving episode, with some solid funny moments too!
The Tomorrow War (2021)
Making Time Travel Dumb, since 2021
I'm usually pretty hard on movies that have stupid plots, which sadly TTW has in spades. I mean, with all those script supervisors, producers, writers, nobody noticed the backbone of the movie had scoliosis?
That being said, this movie does at least have it's redeeming features.
Firstly the action is quite exciting. And it is an action movie, so that's always a bonus when that happens. The fight choreography and overall pace are all good. I was pretty well "gripped" by the opening combat sequence.
Of course the situations are ridiculous, and people throw themselves needlessly into them, in order to make it more action-packed, but it is fast paced and fun. So you can forgive a bit of stupidity.
Likewise, the characters, if a little 2D, are fun to watch. Pratt admirrably manages to balance humour, charm and feeling. And the supporting cast all put in a solid effort.
There are some seriously clichéd lines and overly heroic "I'm not doing it for my country...I'm doing it for loooove" kinda BS, but you can mostly take those with a chuckle, and move on.
The CG beasts are pretty nicely designed. They move in a chaotic, believable way, and they are fairly menacing and ruthless. Rubbish monsters being the thing a lot of sci fi action gets wrong, in recent years.
It's also pretty gory. So if that sort of thing floats your boat. You'll be happy enough. Its not Starship Troopers gory, but there are folks getting munched in half and alien eyeballs getting popped galore! So enjoy, weirdos!
The plot however, is utter nonsense. Apparently future people are super dumb, and have never seen any time travel movie, ever!
They travel back in time to essentially recruit meat for some future meat grinder, because all their own meat, got grindededed? (which right from the get go, doesn't seem to be going all that well. As we discover in the first few minutes of news montage).
When in fact, these future folks, were actually in a great position to come back and turn the Earth of the past, into one giant fortress of alien death. Ambushing the yet-to-attack beasties!
Use your future knowledge of the enemy, but in the past, so you can spend 30 years in R&D, developing anti alien weapons in readiness?...use the 30 years to build bunkers and train the entire population to shoot like Vasily Zaitsev??...Stock up on really big cans of RAID and giant mouse traps???
NOPE!!!
Let's instead send any 40+ year olds, (of which I am one, and can attest...bad idea!! I'm 41 and I already let out a groan when I sit or stand!). Lets send them, regardless of physical fitness/mental preparedness hurtling Into the future to die, VERY horribly in a losing war!
Possible spoilers ahead, but not really.
Not wanting to end up in spoiler town, but the actual final plan, which isn't as dumb as the old "40+ meat grinder" plan, (on the surface at least). STILL ends up being almost entirely pointless and forgotten when the chips are down.
All these seemingly huge negatives aside. It's fun to watch. It's action sequences are good. It's effects nice. Characters are simple but fun. Aliens, setting, scenery, all hit the mark, and it has JK Simmons in it too! So what is not to like?
Switch brain off, enjoy the comic relief, and unintentionally funny heroic banter. Oh, and (insert alcoholic beverage of choice here) helps too.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
This show isn't great, but...
It is bad, because it suffers from some poor writing and plotting, and some of the character lack chemistry, and/or acting ability. It has clichés and sometimes stupid character motivation. That is what makes this a weak show.
It is NOT bad because it has women in strong roles, or gay characters, or makes comments on racism or social injustice. Can it be a little heavy handed with its messaging on occasion?...perhaps, but Star Trek has ALWAYS been about such subjects, and was always "left-wing"
All the anti-woke (which, by the way, essentially means "unenlightened") reviewers, down voting this to force their own, antiquated politics, or try to get the show cancelled, should be ashamed of themselves.
Down vote all you want, for the weak plot lines, plot holes, poor writing, bad prosthetics, etc.
But aggressively 1 starring because you can't handle and fear change, is the very antithesis of what Gene Roddenberry stood for. If seeing a woman of colour in a leading role, hurts your fragile masculinity and feeling of white superiority, that is very much a "YOU" problem. If seeing gay characters express love for each other, makes you nervous, again, seems like a "YOU" problem. If talking about race makes you uncomfortable..."YOU" problem.
If Roddenverry is spinning in his grave, it's due to the shameless politicised, far-right "reviews", rather than the weak TV show bearing his franchise's name, that is causing him to ocilate wildly!!
You guys clearly aren't actual Trek fans, if you think Trek shouldn't include current social issues. Trek was ALWAYS about representation, and social awareness. Did you actually ever watch Trek? Or did you just fail to "get it"?
And before anyone says "the old Trek wasn't this PC". That is because the old Trek was written and produced in the 60's, (which is where some of the 1 Star reviewers mindsets are stuck). So it reflected it's time and it's issues. Just as the 90's next gen did, and so on. It's 2021 folks, try to keep up.
The unfortunately acronymed Star Trek Discovery, isnt a great show. It's just barely watchable, and it doesn't feel like real Star Trek (beyond it's visual design), but it isn't bad because of it's want to tackle social issues. That is the one "Trek thing" it gets right.
American Gods (2017)
Late to the party
I was sad, but not surprised to hear, that American Gods was cancelled. I was intrigued by the trailers, but didn't get around to watching it until recently. I enjoyed the first season, and the second, but I'd season two, it started to become clear that all was not well...
The problem, i fear. As is so often the case. Money men.
This story needed 2, maybe 3 seasons at the absolute maximum, in order to get it's story finished. Sadly, the powers that be, decided to drag the whole thing out for as long as possible. All for the almighty dollar, no doubt.
The result? An intriguing, sometimes beautiful, sometimes stunning, but all to often drawn out, slow, and messy show.
Which is an enormous shame. It had everything it needed. Good characters, solid acting, nice effects, an interesting premise, and rich source material. But they flogged that horse so hard, nothing but dust was left.
Dragging the story out, meant dropping ratings. Which in turn meant lower budgets. Which lead to further drops in ratings, and so on.
Sadly we won't get to see how Shadow's story ends, but thankfully, unlike many TV shows milked to death by sleazy execs. We can at least read the source material for a conclusion.
I give it a 7/10 for trying something different, and for it's visually stunning first season. Such a shame it was driven into the ground by greedy choices.
For fantasy/mythology fans, it's well worth a watch, but be warned. It slows down a lot, and you won't be seeing a live action conclusion any time soon.
Love, Death & Robots: Ice (2021)
Basic
Ridiculous 8-10/10 reviews, would have us believe this is some perfect, deep story. It really isn't.
The story is a basic tale of an outsider being accepted by his peers, and some vague comment on "perfection". It's hardly profound, as some would have you believe.
Yeah, the rest of us "got" the story, guys. We saw the "twist" at the end. It just wasn't very interesting.
The art style isn't to my taste, but the animation is nice, especially in that it isn't overly flashy CG realism for a change, but it doesn't make up for such a generic story.
Other short stories manage bigger twists, or more thought provoking ideas in their compact running times.
It gets 5 for atmosphere, and for having an interesting art style.
Love, Death & Robots: All Through the House (2021)
Bricked up my chimney
It packs in a lot of creepy, funny story into it's 7 min runtime, and the animation is very sweet, like some twisted Disney.
One of my favourites of this weaker season.
Love, Death & Robots: Snow in the Desert (2021)
Snow Balls
A simple, but effective piece of hyper-violent, dystopian storytelling. Made all the more effective, by some truly stunning CG animation.
Love, Death & Robots: Automated Customer Service (2021)
Silly, but funny.
It takes it's joke a little far at times, but it's a pretty funny joke, so it can be forgiven, and the animation style is quirky and interesting.
Not the best episode of the season, but far from the weakest.
Love, Death & Robots: Life Hutch (2021)
Style over substance
Nice animation is really all this episode has. The story feels like it is essentially just two scenes cut from a larger movie, and packaged as a standalone tale.
Sadly, they don't even seem like the most gripping scenes from this non-existent larger movie!
Love, Death & Robots: Pop Squad (2021)
More time.
Beautifully animated, and a great concept. It touches on very dark, dystopian themes, in true Sci fi style.
Sadly it's let down somewhat, by a short run time. This story deserves more time to be fully fleshed out. It also feels a bit like it is hanging most of its weight on the shock factor of it's subject matter.
Love, Death & Robots (2019)
Season one, 9/10...
Season one was a solid 9/10 for me. It mixed a diverse and often incredible array of animation styles.
The writing, likewise, was much more hit than miss. Even when it missed, the stories were still entertaining enough to keep you hooked for the next.
Thought provoking, funny, creepy, weird, sexy, cute, ugly, and everything in-between got covered, and covered well.
With it sitting at 18 short episodes, you could comfortably crack a few beers, and treat it as a lengthy feature movie experience, and not get bored.
Then there is season two...
Painfully short, at 8 episodes. This felt like much less of an event. Just as you are settling in, it's over.
This isn't helped, by a much weaker selection of stories and in some cases, animation.
Granted, some are interesting. The first, "Automated Customer Service", is funny, if taken a little too far, to the point of silly. "Snow in the Desert" is beautifully animated, and has a nice straightforward story, and the drowned giant, although slow is strangely enthralling and meditative (if poorly placed, as the last episode).
Then there are episodes like "Ice". Which feels like filler. Lacking interesting animation, or any story of note. And Pop Squad, which while stunning to look at, feels like an idea that needs much more run time to be effective.
Season two isn't bad, per se. Its just nowhere close to its preceeding season in quality, and it feels a lot like Netflix rushed it out, in order to cash in on the popularity of the first.
Here's hoping Netflix can redeem themselves with a bigger, ballsier season three. (But I fear we'll just get the other 8 episodes that were cynically withheld from season two!?!)
Army of the Dead (2021)
No dice!
Setting...great. Cast...good. Effects...good. Characters...generic, two dimensional, but fun.
Story...absolute nonsense, garbage. Anybody who can ignore how bad the story is, I can only imagine regularly drools on themselves.
The plot starts well. Military secret causes Vegas zombie outbreak. Cue zombie Elvis, zombie Siegfried and Roy tigers. Awesome!...right?
Sadly, nope!
The villain of the piece. Is visible from space...to Stevie Wonder, right from the get go, (and in case you didn't spot him. He conveniently, and totally needlessly feeds a crew member to the dead, to let us, the viewing morons, know he's a bad dude) and this villain's "plan" and reasoning, are so poorly thought out and outright dumb. You have to question whether, perhaps Snyder let his 9 year old nephew have a crack at writing?
Had said villain, just allowed everyone to get what they wanted/signed up for, and let things just pan out, everyone could have escaped a winner, including the villains. (Who could have later disposed of witnesses, if necessary).
Possible spoiler ahead, but not really...
But no, in order to shoehorn in a double cross (because every movie is 'more cleverer' due to a double cross, duh!), the writers made everybody in this, dumber than a brain damaged hamster. Not to mention all the other stupid plot holes, (some of which are the biggest in cinematic history, no joke) and all the nonsensical decisions the characters make.
I've also never been a fan of what I like to call "dance hall zombies". By which I mean fast, agile, rhythmic, Z's, who are clearly played by dancers and acrobats, jigging and writhing around, as if they are auditioning for a Madonna music video.
Running...fine. But this BS bouncing, jumping, scurrying nonsense. Nope, I'm out.
Negatives aside. Bautista is his usual likeable self. Ella Purnell is great (though her character stinks). In fact everyone puts in a decent effort, even in spite of the frequently diabolical script.
And if you can totally switch off your brain for the unusually long running time, it is kinda fun. In a dumb, OTT, gory, zombie killing way.
And there is also a nice drinking game hidden in this movie...take a shot every time you see a line or scene stolen from another movie (particularly "Aliens"). You'll be hammered by the half way point.
But wow...WOW, that plot. It's so stupid. You'll need an almost zen-like ability to silence your capabilities of sense and reason, for any chance at fully enjoying this. Or you need to be a clinical imbecile. Either might work?
Sadly another fail from Netflix. I won't watch again, unless I'm having trouble getting drunk!