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Reviews
Silent Hill (2006)
Painfully slow feminist revenge fantasy on catholic housing pedophiles
I've never heard of the games but I just saw the movie...and it was pathetic It starts off with an interesting enough premise: a young girl has recurring nightmares about a place called Silent Hill but also sleepwalks so her parents are understandably distressed. (Adopted) Dad wants to keep taking her to the professionals even though the "medication doesn't work" while (adopted) Mom decides the best idea is to take her on a road trip to Silent Hill - a recently deserted ghost town.
The locals of the neighboring town deny the existence of Silent Hill, as per usual of hillbillies in a horror movie. Meanwhile Dad checks out the place on the net and goes to rather extreme measures to stop his family going i.e. canceling their credit cards, and its here the story stops being a story.
After an hour of a woman running around shouting "Sharon", some weird cgi, a cop running around shouting "Rose", and her husband running around shouting "Rose" we learn the cgi comes in waves and there's only one place that is safe from it.
The only storyline is a five minute speech by a ten year old girl saying she was raped and shunned by religion, then the scarred remains of her kills everything.
It seems you could only enjoy this movie if you're a fan of the game or easily spooked by creepy confusion.
Galactic Gigolo (1987)
best enjoyed intoxicated
Most people fail to see the charm of this little movie, but I think its just misunderstood. Sure the script is cheesy, the acting overdone, the music B-grade porn and the vegetable suits aren't fooling anybody (we know there's humans under that green makeup!) but that is the point. This is a movie about vegetables, made by vegetables, that explores the ultimate vegetable fantasy - having sex with every human woman in town. In order to fully understand things from a vegetable's point-of-view you must become a vegetable yourself; be it from drink, drugs or days of sleep deprivation.
Need further help achieving the appropriate level of braindeadliness? Check out psycho_sapiens' Galactic Gigolo drinking game on the message board! Irresistible broccoli, incestuous hasidic rednecks, gangster stooges, gonzo journalists, perverted cameramen, sex and boobies - this movie has everything! 2 thumbs up, just remember to switch your brain off first.