dragonhawk-imdb Reviews

The Last Sentinel (2007)

Oh. My. God. What a bad movie.

[2/10 · 15 May 2007]

This is the worst movie I've seen in some time. It starts off with a mildly interesting -- if rather unoriginal -- premise: Man's technology has turned against it's creator. This has been done a million times, of course, but it can still yield an entertaining action flick if done well.

This was not done well.

The script must have been painful to read. I would feel sorry for any actor asked to work with such excrement. To see Don Wilson and Katee Sackhoff, both of whom have much more potential, forced to wade through this quagmire was just sad. You know you've got script problems when the best dialog comes from a crazy, talking gun.

A plot would have been nice, too. And, no this movie doesn't have a plot. It has a premise. There's a difference. The entire movie consists of: "These are the bad guys. They shoot at us. We shoot at them." There were endless scenes of running and gunning, with a few scenes of sitting talking about the next/previous run-and-gun scene.

One major annoying aspect was that the movie couldn't seem to make up it's mind if Katee Sackhoff was supposed to be the tough, independent type or the "maiden in distress" type.

The absolutely gratuitous and completely unbelievable romantic parts were just pathetic. It was like somebody said, "Insert a romantic gesture here." Monotonous sets, and only two of them. Footage was re-used. Annoying, obvious clichés (storm troopers in masks, bad guys who cannot hit anything they shoot at, tracking device in the skull). Outright contradictions in places.

The only reason I give it 2 and not 1 is that the pyro effects and sets, while totally uninspired, were at least competently done.

The best part of this movie is the ending. Not the final scenes -- the fact that it ended.

The Plague (2006 Video)

Incoherent goalless gore-fest

[2/10 · 15 April 2007]

As so many others have said, the really disappointing thing about this movie is that it started out so strong. The opening scenes draw you right in; anyone with any humanity at all cannot help but feel a connection to the parents as the children fall. The movie grabs you in one of the most fundamental ways possible -- children are a biological imperative. The following scenes "Ten Years Later" are deliciously creepy, and add some real depth. Some real thought went into how the world might react and change to such an event. It was an absolutely beautiful set-up.

Alas, from there, everything goes straight into the garbage bin. Of all the possible directions they could have followed, the movie's creators went with "The kids wake up and start killing everybody". Not only does that throw away so many better possibilities, but *it's been done*.

The zombie attack scenes, while competently filmed, are so formulaic they loose all suspense value. If you define horror as "endless blood and violence", well, I guess they succeed there, but I didn't actually feel *horrified* during these parts -- only jaded.

Finally, the movie fails to do anything useful with its attempt at a purpose. There are hints and references to some grand design, but nothing coherent. The final scene acts like it's trying to be a resolution, but fails in that mission. "Everybody dies" would be one thing, "Unresolved/unknown" another, but this film just sort of trails off instead.

The only thing saving this movie from a Worst Possible Rating is that the cinematography and effects were well done, and the acting is as good as one could hope for from such an uninspired script. I still wouldn't recommend it to anyone.