Movie-Guru Reviews

Lost in Translation (2003)

Lost...

[11 February 2004]

What the hell is this? I work in a movie theatre, i've seen this movie in half hour intervals and it's HORRIBLE, Jesus, Coppola's film-making is so amateurish it's not even funny, you'd think that for being the daughter of the man who directed "The Godfather" she would have done a little better than this. Best Actor for Murray? Where, how? The man hardly acted, all he did was sit around with a glummy look on his face for a good 45 minutes of the film. Who's this "Scarlett Johanson" she sounds like a graspy-voiced 15-year old with big lips. I got Lost in Translation. 2 - 10.

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

You'll need a tissue for the end...

[11 December 2003]

This is a great mock-umentary type film. Michael Moore combines wit and humor with some serious, SERIOUS issues. The ending is so powerful and so meaningful that you'll need some tissue, i won't give the ending away but TRUST ME, you'll need some tissue if you know how to appreciate a great non-fiction film.

Feardotcom (2002)

Why??

[19 April 2003]

Seriously, why?? I mean its basically that horrible "House On Haunted Hill" all over again. This film is terrible, what a waste, and the dark lighting doesn't make it scary, the dark music doesn't make it scary, the story ISN'T scary, its just about a crazy doctor who tortures and kills people and has one of his victims come after him. If you want to see a good recent scary movie , watch "The Ring" theres a movie that will scare you, but skip this one, it's not worth it.

Now & Forever (2002)

A Great and powerful romantic/drama....

[14 November 2002]

I caught this film at a local film festival (and even got to meet the director himself) and I must say, this is one of the best drama/romance movies I've ever seen. I don't usually care for romance/drama films because they all turn out to be the same, but this film is truly a great work of art, the acting, the direction, the lighting, the locations, everything about this film is beautiful, and the twist at the end will leave you speechless. Clark and Beach's finest piece of work to date. 5 - 5 stars.

Summer of Sam (1999)

COULD have been a good film...

[18 August 2002]

Cut out all the sex, cursing, and just about all the cheap dialouge and add maybe a little bit better of EVERYTHING that it takes to make a good film, and this movie could have actually been worth watching. Don't waste your time, becuase Lee really needs to stick to acting...oh wait..nevermind. 1 star out of 5.

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

Promsing, yet overrated film....

[4 August 2002]

I've never seen this film, but I decided to rent it on DVD since everyone had so many good things to say about 2001: A Space Odyssey. Visually speaking, it is a typical Kubrick film, but come on, whats so great about it? Theres little dialouge, absolutley no character develepment, and the storyline and plot are barley there. The ending felt too much like Planet of the Apes (2001), which made no sense. This film, though, was promising. It had the potential to be a great sci-fi film, instead it failed horribly. 2 starts out of 5. Skip this and rent Close Encounters or Star Wars or something.

The Mothman Prophecies (2002)

Good story, but too many holes...

[22 July 2002]

This movie starts out slow and works its way up at a steady pace. The story itself is good, but this film has too many plot holes. I'm not going to get into it, but trust me, there are plot holes. Richard Gere is his typical...himself, and the rest of the supporting characters are good. I doubt any of this actually happened, but, hey, thats what they say. 2 stas out of 5.

The Muse (1999)

Hilarious...

[10 July 2002]

Okay, so people will tell you that this is typical Brooks, now, I've nver seen any other film with Brooks in it so I really wouldn't know. All I can tell you is that "The Muse" s a good melo-comedy, chock full of cameos and movie references. Don't get me wrong though, the ending will leave you with "WHY did it end like THAT?" So basically, the ending's twist could have been better. Thats all I'll say. 3 stars out of 5.

The Brothers (2001)

Hmm...Typical...

[8 July 2002]

Only a few words can describe this film: Typical, DeJa Vu

Typical African-American standared fare. Chock full of stereotypes, cliches, its nothing we havn't seen already. On a more personal note, I don't say this because I am prejudice, but these types of movies are all the same. 1/2 - 5.

Men in Black II (2002)

Good, funny, a little better than the first.

[7/10 · 3 July 2002]

You know, for some reason Men In Black seems like the type of movies that Tim Burton would direct. Anyways, M.I.B. II was a good cleverly done film. I found it more hilarious than the original and I loved all the Spielberg and George Lucas inside jokes (Like the evil-looking R2-D2 droid). The Michael Jackson cameo was hilarious! And Lara Flynn Boyle and Rosario Dawson added a sort of sexiness to the film. All in all, if you enjoyed M.I.B. you'll enjoy M.I.B. II. Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Lara Flynn Boyle, what more could you ask for? 3 1/2 stars out of 5.

Commando (1985)

Arnold doing what he does best!

[2 July 2002]

"Commando" is truly one of Arnold's best films, next to Terminator and Terminator 2. People tend to underrate Arnold's films because all he ever does is kick ass and kill people, but thats what Arnold is all about, he doesn't need an Oscar to be a respected actor, and movies like Commando and T-2 prove it.

E! True Hollywood Story: Jaws (2002) Season 6, Episode 28

Good Behind the Scenes Documentary...

[8/10 · 1 July 2002]

This was on the E! Network a couple of weeks ago. I saw all 2 hours of it and its really interesting how Jaws came to life, I never imagined Spielberg, a young fresh new director, having so much trouble during the production on one of his timeless classics. If you ever get a chance, watch this documentary, its worth the 2 hours.

The Others (2001)

Scary and a good twist...

[1 July 2002]

I won't give too much away, but this movie's twist is really good (you won't know what twist I'm talking about until the end of the film) Nicole Kidman executes her character well (as always) but don't expect a great scary movie, after all, we never see any ghosts...or do we? You'll have to watch it and find out and see. 3 starts out of 5.

The Caveman's Valentine (2001)

Um......Interesting..sort of..

[1 July 2002]

Samuel L. Jackson is perfect as the homeless-oh wait, I mean, hes perfect as the "Caveman" of New York City. The film, however, is a confusing piece of work. I'll admit, some parts of this movie are a little interesting and WEIRD, but other than that its the typical stereotype characters. If you like Samuel L. Jackson as much as I do, you'll enjoy this time-waster movie, But don't expect "Pulp Fiction" or "Shaft".

Mad TV (1995–2016)

Better than SNL

[23 June 2002]

'Nough said. SNL is lame. SNL's cast is totally un-funny (Well except for Jimmy Fallon and Tina Fey).

Trust me. Watch MAd Tv

Minority Report (2002)

Spielberg does it again...

[9/10 · 21 June 2002]

Just saw Minority Report. What more can I say than I ABSOLUTLEY LOVED THIS MOVIE! I was at first skeptical when I heard that Tom Cruise would star in Spielberg's Minority Report, and that was because of "Vanilla Sky", but after seein Cruise's performance in "Report", I realized how good of an actor he is. Minority Report is definetly one of this years best movies, and I won't be surprised if either Spielberg or Cruise recieve a nomination for this film. Its definely worth going to see, so this summer, Run to the theatres to see Minority Report. 5 starts out of 5.

Showtime (2002)

Its "Lethal Weapon" meets "Rush Hour"...

[19 June 2002]

Alot of people didn't like this movie, I personally did. I like the way it totally pokes fun of many cop movie and tv shows. This movie is saved by Eddie Murphey's antics and Robert DeNiro's anti-social character. If you like the Lethal Weapon movies and Rush Hour, you'll enjoy this one. 3 1/2 starts out of 5.

Judge Joe Brown (1998–2013)

Good, funny: Judge Joe Brown

[19 June 2002]

Its a good show, Judge Joe Brown is very direct (and very offensive to his litigants) But thats what most of the court shows need in times like these. If you enjoy Judge Joe Brown I also recommend The People's Court.

The People's Court (1997–2023)

Best Court Show on T.V.

[19 June 2002]

I think this is the best court show on television. Judge Jerry Sheindlin was a good judge, but for some reason I seem to enjoy Judge Milian more (I guess it's because she is a woman, though I hope that doesn't make me sexist). Judge Judy is too annoying and rants off too much, so if you want to see a GOOD female judge, watch The People's Court.

John Q (2002)

Good Movie...

[8/10 · 18 June 2002]

Despite what people have said, this movie is NOTHING like Dog Day Afternoon. The only similarities between the two is that both films have to do with holding a public place hostage (In Dog Day Afternoon it was a Bank in John Q, its a hospital). Sure, you see a sort of homage to Dog Day Afternoon in John Q, but thats it, the movie has its own plot. I enjoyed this film, Denzel Washington is really believeable as the down-on-his-luck father, and the rest of the supporting cast executed their characters very well. Most notably the great Robert Duvall as the hostage negotiator and Ray Liotta as the stuck-up police chief. I won't say more about this movie other than it is heart-breaking and you can almost feel the pain frustration John Q has to go through. 4 stars out of 5.

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (1992–2014)

Hilarious!...

[18 June 2002]

People underrate this show too much. I think its hilarious. Jay Leno may not write his jokes but hes damn good at telling them. His comedy is real subtle and in-your-face. Conan 'O Brian is just as funny, but his comedy is much different from Lenos, his is more childish (which is funny just the same) while Leno's is more sophisticated. Please people, don't underrate this show.

Bandits (2001)

Cheesy characters, good ending :)

[17 June 2002]

Now, mind you, I only saw the last 30 minutes of this movie, so it wouldn't be fair of me to given an opinion. 30 minutes was enough to see how cheesy these characters are, stereotype after stereotype after stereotype. Bruce Willis seems like he is playing the same type of character he played in "The Whole Nine Yards". The ending was clever though, good twist. Though if you want to see a better comedic-like heist movie rent "Quick Change" with Bill Murray.

Space Cowboys (2000)

Hilarious melo-drama...

[17 June 2002]

What do you get when you put together 4-old geezers and a NASA space ship? Well you get Space Cowboys of course! LOL This movie is just plain funny and so un-realisticly funny. 3 1/2 starts out of 5 for comedy and Clint Eastwoods bad-ass attitude.

Toys (1992)

I never walk out of a movie theatre...

[17 June 2002]

I saw this movie. When I was like in 3rd Grade, My parents took me to go see it. Now, we never walk out of a movie theatre, but this is the only time in my life when I remember leaving a movie because the film was so bad. Now, its not that this movie is HORRIBLE, it has heart, but its just boring.

Scooby-Doo (2002)

Blondes, cleavage, big boobs, and sexual sublimity all rolled in to ONE: Scooby Doo

[6/10 · 16 June 2002]

Who made this movie? Somebody from MTv obviously. I noticed lots of pretty woman dressed in bikinis, AND, pretty woman wearing almost nothing at all. Are you SURE this movie is aimed at little kids? Well hell, I'm not complaining, it was good that there was something to distract me from this films cliché acting. Now don't get me wrong, little kids will enjoy this, and I'll admit that I too enjoyed it, BUT there were too many stereotypes. The actor that played Shaggy though, did do the best job than the rest of the cast, and I actually didn't mind that Scooby was CGI. 2 1/2 stars out 5.