motley6 Reviews

The Canyons (2013)

It could have attained mediocrity with a few changes

[3/10 · 31 August 2016]

The film is garbage of course, but a few things that could have helped make it watchable.

1) Shooting in HD will make your film look like poop- This isn't Paul Schrader's first rodeo, and yet he chose to shoot the film like a UCLA graduate. This guy made beautiful films in 35mm like Cat People, Mishima, and American Gigolo, but yet he actually wanted to shoot in a distracting, garish, noisy, unfilmlike format. If he couldn't scrounge up another $300K to shoot on film, then this shouldn't have been made.

2) Hire people who can act- And it wasn't just the porn stugats either, nobody else could act except for Lohan. I understand the casting in this film was part of some internet promotion/gimmick and it shows. There are all kinds of actors in LA and Europe who can act who would have done this for peanuts and they managed to hire an entire cast who couldn't.

3) The music was atrocious- Indie schlock that nobody cares about, shoehorned into a film where it doesn't belong. This is another bad directing decision from someone who should know better.

The premise of the film is interesting and there is some good dialogue, but that isn't enough. It has to look and sound like an actual film instead of an amateurish mess in order to interest people.

Sleeping with the Fishes (I) (2013)

This is just dire...

[2/10 · 22 June 2015]

I caught this inexplicable mess on cable. This is a very silly motion picture: the dialogue is atrocious, the millennial sarcastic snark is unbearable, and the US Latino code switching would make any Spanish-speaking foreign national kick a hole in their flat screen. We are the only country in the world that puts out this kind of goofy trash.

The two female leads who play the sisters are moderately attractive but amateurish actresses. The rest of the cast are straight out of the Summer stock central casting. The sisters are supposed to be half-Jewish on their father's side, although the complete lack of humor in the film makes this unrealistic.

There's some banal themes about body image, "fat-shaming", and the main character is a widow who seems more like a whiny girlfriend whose boyfriend left her for someone better looking.

Woody Allen creating the model for this type of film 40 years ago and very rarely is anyone able to imitate it, much less come up with something new, funny or say anything interesting about the human condition.

Congratulations, I guess...

Blood Red (1989)

A mediocrity with so much potential

[5/10 · 24 June 2014]

This is playing On-Demand and is presented in its original 1.85:1 aspect ratio for the first time on home video.

The Good: The acting talent speaks for itself: Eric and Julia Roberts, Burt Young, Giancarlo Giannini, Elias Koteas, Michael Madsen... The cinematography by Toyomichi Kurita is beautiful. Themes: Late 19th century California, the beginning of wine culture, immigrant vs. business interests, William Jennings Bryan populism vs robber baron statism. All the tools are there for a great film.

The Bad: The screenplay is the problem. It needed a page one rewrite from someone who could write dialogue, and who could write scenes to emphasize the political, religious, and economic issues of the period. The characterization is almost non existent, with only Giannini's part getting some depth. There is so much wasted talented in this film. Usually Eric Roberts is criticized for overacting, but this picture could have definitely benefited from his passion. Also the music by Carmine Coppola is so old-fashioned and silly that it borders on soap opera cues.

The first half will keep your attention. After that, it becomes boring. Bad dialogue, bad music, and pedestrian mise-en-scene kill the movie. I was actually rewriting the scenes in my head as I was watching the film.

The Slugger's Wife (1985)

Hal Ashby's Worst

[1/10 · 8 October 2010]

On paper it sounds great: Hal Ashby directing, Neil Simon writing, Michael O'Keefe coming off of three critically acclaimed films, and Rebecca DeMornay coming off Risky Business. But in practice, the movie simply isn't watchable. Bad dialogue, bad acting, atrocious musical interludes; and this is just in the first 20 minutes. Randy Quaid and Martin Ritt appear in thankless roles. Even the baseball sequences are pedestrian. There is nothing redeemable in this production even from a cult perspective. Second-Hand Hearts and Lookin' to Get Out were not great but at least they were coherent. If you are a fan of Ashby's 70's work and are interested in his 80's stuff, I suggest you just watch 8 Million Ways to Die and the concert films.

Van Halen: Video Hits Vol. 1 (1996 Video)

decent collection of the greatest band, where's roth?

[7/10 · 2 October 2001]

This collection is okay but it misses many videos from both eras. I think if bands put out "greatest hits" videos, showing only half of their hit videos, it is a let down to their fans and to the casual watcher. This set only includes the 3 hit Roth Era videos from 1984. Notably missing is their MTV banned "Pretty Woman" video, the live video for "Mean Streets" and "Unchained", and any of their unforgetable appearance at the '83 US Festival. Missing from Van Hagar series is Live Without a Net videos, and "Feels So Good", "Top Of the World", and "Amsterdam". Perhaps those will be included on the second volume?