The Non-Hip Reviews

The Matrix Resurrections (I) (2021)

Well, I liked it.

[10/10 · 27 December 2021]

I didn't think I would, based on all the negative comments, but I really liked this movie.

When I saw the trailers, I was very doubtful. The green tones of the originals were gone, and new faces on established characters. But I think the movie explained the things I had doubts about adequately.

I know this franchise didn't need another installment. The story was wrapped up well enough, and the potential for disaster was there. And maybe it's the nostalgia talking, but I am glad they made this one, because it just makes me love the original even more.

The Witcher (2019– )

Much better than expected

[10/10 · 21 December 2019]

I loved every minute. Henry Cavill knocks it out of the park with his portrayal of Geralt of Rivia. For me, this show was everything Game of Thrones tried to be for 8 seasons and never quite reached.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Well, I liked it.

[9/10 · 20 December 2019]

With all the negative buzz going on, perhaps my expectations were lowered, but I really enjoyed this last chapter. Sure, if you're set on hating it, you're going to find plenty wrong with it. Very cheesy scenes, plot holes, fan service, and so on. But despite those issues, I found myself getting into it and with about 30 minutes to go I had a tear in my eye. So I get why critics are tanking this movie. But for me, I loved it, despite the flaws. And if you're willing to forgive it's flaws, I think you will too.

Fractured (I) (2019)

Solid thriller that kept me on the edge of my seat

[9/10 · 28 October 2019]

This movie was much better than I expected it to be, going by it's rating. Great performances by the entire cast. The story seems predictable, but then keeps you wondering and wondering again. Definitely one of Netflix's better originals.

Anna (II) (2019)

Would have been enjoyable if not for the many obvious anachronisms

[4/10 · 13 September 2019]

It's not necessarily a bad movie and all in all I did actually enjoy watching it, but it would have been so much better if more attention would have been paid to make it accurate for the time period. The laptop Anna uses to fill in her application is running an OS that didn't exist yet in a far too high resolution, and where was she submitting that form to? The internet? Later on there's a laptop with a USB port, 6 years before those were even introduced, not to mention the USB flash drive 10 years before those were introduced. A laptop displaying high resolution full motion video was also at least 15 years ahead of it's time.

Christopher Robin (2018)

In one word: Charming

[10/10 · 8 November 2018]

If I had to use one word to describe this movie, it would be: Charming. It has some somber moments in the beginning, but then it has a lot of charm and just the right amount of sillyness. I loved it a lot more than I thought I would. Definitely recommended.

The Outpost (2018–2021)

Terribly trashy fun

[7/10 · 21 July 2018]

I get why this show is getting so many 1 ratings. It looks cheap, it's terribly overacted, and the story feels like a bad D&D game. I'd like to say it's so bad that it's good, but it's not even that. It's just bad. But I kinda love it, so I'm giving it 6 stars.

Edit: It's getting better. It's still bad, but it's just so much fun. Increased my rating.

Knights of Badassdom (2013)

Excellent niche genre gem

[10/10 · 15 February 2014]

I loved this movie. I'll admit, I'm exactly the target audience in that I'm a long time roleplayer, and a fan of horror comedies.

I've been waiting for this movie for what seems like a long time and at times it seemed like it would never be released. When I read some of the reviews on here, about bad acting and bad effects and the like, I was worried I was going to be sorely disappointed.

Well, I wasn't. I felt the movie was exactly what I expected it to be. The acting was deliciously over the top. The visuals (not talking about the special effects) were dead on. Moments where simply people in costume walking around in the background, with the cars in the parking lot contrasting with the medieval costumes, just gave me a chuckle of recognition. The "dragon" was very well designed and looked like something a bunch of guys could have created in their garage. It just all seemed to fit.

The special effects, while perhaps not big budget blockbuster quality, were very well done, for the most part. There was one scene that had a bit of a "Oh wow, that looks fake" feeling, but it was a pretty quick shot, and frankly I like this kind of movie to look a bit campy.

After all the negative things I'd heard, I'm glad I went with my gut feeling and watched it anyway.

I know I'm gushing a bit here, and I know I am the target audience for this, but if you are like me, you'll love this. So ignore the negative comments and enjoy this for what it is.

Spring Breakers (2012)

Style over substance

[4/10 · 25 June 2013]

Movie started out pretty promising, but I kept waiting for it to get interesting. The only character even remotely relatable leaves halfway through, and the rest are just girls gone wild caricatures behaving badly with only the barest semblance of motivation.

I'll admit I appreciated all the T&A, and it was that and the hope of some plot development that kept me watching, but it was like watching a porn without the porn.

I'm not sure what effect the director was trying to achieve by the constant voice-over repetition. Was he trying to drive some point home by bludgeoning his audience with it?

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

Did I watch a different movie?

[9/10 · 10 March 2008]

After reading a lot of the comments about this movie, I have to wonder if I saw the same movie as everyone seems to have watched.

I like Statham as an actor, the man has amazing charisma as an action hero, so I decided to watch this despite what I had read about it. I was very pleasantly surprised.

The movie I saw was very entertaining fantasy story with a great cast, great scenic locations, engaging battles, outstanding costumes, that kept me thoroughly entertained for it's entire running time.

I would describe the acting as "adequate". Some of the characters seemed over the top and the worst by far was Ray Liotta (I've never been a great fan of his), but overall they got the job done.

I liked the magic in this movie. It seemed very "physical" and hands-on. The fight near the end with the floating swords was very nicely done, and all the magical effects seemed "believable" as far as magic goes.

The scenery and costumes were fantastic, it gave "dark ages" feel to it, dirty and gritty.

All in all, I really enjoyed this movie. I'd give it a 7, maybe an 8, but I'm giving it a little extra considering how pleasantly surprised I was due to all the negativity, ending up at a 9.

One Hour Photo (2002)

Great performance by Williams in this masterpiece.

[15 July 2003]

Robin Williams proves that he's a very versatile actor, not limited to the "funny guy" roles he's usually cast in. His character of Sy in this movie is one of the most believable real characters I've ever seen in a movie.

Children of Dune (2003)

Beautifull, unforgettable.

[7 July 2003]

Everything was done right in this movie, the acting was good, the effects and the backgrounds were great and the soundtrack simply amazing. I liked the first Dune miniseries, but it had some disturbingly bad designed elements. These were corrected in this chapter.

Truly a beautifull and unforgettable movie in every way imaginable.

Firefly (2002–2003)

Cancelling shows like these should be a crime. Best show I've seen on television, ever.

[29 April 2003]

It's not often that you find a show where everything just fits. Great acting, great stories, amazing universe, absolutely fantastic music. Not often do you find a show this close to being perfect. I was hooked on this show after the first 10 minutes.

How is it possible that a show of this calibre, a show of this brilliance, gets cancelled?

If anything is to blame, it's the FOX network. Scheduled in a bad timeslot for it's intended audience, insufficiently advertised, shown in the wrong order, and taken off the screen for 4 weeks to show sports events after only 2 episodes had aired.

I treasure my taped episodes, and I will be getting the DVD when it comes out. I will treasure the few episodes that were made and will keep watching them forever. They cannot take the sky from me.

The Vanishing (1988)

WARNING!

[6 April 2003]

STOP!!!!

Observe these 3 rules if you plan on seeing this film:

Rule #1, AVOID the 1993 remake "The Vanishing" or if you absolutely need to see it, watch the original first.

Rule #2, If you're of a sensative nature and easily depressed, don't watch this.

Rule #3, do NOT read any other comments on this film until you have seen it. This is a love it or hate it type of movie and looking for opinions to decide if you want to see this WILL ruin it for you. See it first, form your own opinion, then check back here. Trust me on this, you'll thank me afterwards.

The Lift (1983)

Excellent movie! If you're Dutch.

[6 April 2003]

Keep in mind that this low budget film was made for a dutch audience, and was only released internationally because of it's tremendous success in the Netherlands.

The english voices are horrible! I was able to see this version when I visited the US and found it in a small-town video store. The english voices pretty much ruined the movie.

This is no reason to give the movie a low rating however, since the movie in it's original form was an amazing breakthrough in Dutch film making. This movie's rating would be much higher if it was only rated by it's intended, dutch audience.

The '60s (1999)

Very Enjoyable

[13 August 2002]

I caught this movie on TV last night, I don't usually enjoy this particular kind of movie, but I was bored so I figured I'd sit through it.

Now I've seen other comments on how the movie doesn't show the era correctly, that it's not historically correct, and since I wasn't alive yet during the 60s, and my European education didn't touch the subject of american history much, I can't comment on that.

However, when you get past the idea of this movie having to be a historical document of the 60s, and see that it's actually just simply a story, not a history lesson, about a group of people during this period of time, you'll see that this story is actually quite enjoyable.

I expected a mediocre history movie, I got a great movie about love, principles and family. It made my evening.