Rautus Reviews

Cinemassacre's Monster Madness: 28 Days Later (2021) Season 13, Episode 1

The nail in the coffin for Monster Madness

[1/10 · 11 September 2022]

I remember back in 2007 when Monster Madness started, it was a novel idea to dedicate the 31 days of October to cover various kinds of horror movies, from classics from the 30s or 40s, to cheesy or violent 80s horror, to Kaiju films like Gojira. It was an absolute treat for passionate horror fans made by an equally passionate horror fan.

In 2021, it was decided to resurrect the series and do a whole month's worth of reviews where James would once again share his "thoughts" and "opinions" of various horror movies, this time from across the world. There was only one slight snag, this is modern James Rolfe and, as you would expect, he didn't have the time to write 31 scripts for 31 short reviews, despite him claiming that he was busy working on the scripts, but then this is the same guy who claimed he was "on fire" with the 200th episode of AVGN and we all know how that turned out too. If he did work on the scripts, he most likely, at the very least, wrote a few paragraphs down. The bulk of the scripts were instead written by Screenwave staff member and attention/pity seeker Newt Wallen. Now, it's already problematic that James Rolfe can't even be bothered to write down his own personal opinion of a movie anymore for a short 5 minute video, but that laziness was the least of the problems with the Monster Madness revival when it was discovered that the script for the very first episode of the new season, 28 Days Later, was straight up stolen from an old 2003 review of the film. To make matters worse, little thought or effort was put into even trying to hide the fact it was plagiarized. And James, with his lack of time to check the script, or anyone else at Screenwave for that matter, simply reads what's written in his typical lifeless manner, spouting such golden phrases like "crazed cannibal killers" and "mankind's experiments go haywire resulting in destructive results" without a single care or shred of respect for himself, his fans or the channel.

With a terrible start like that, the rest of the season suffered; including James who had to apparently go full force and rewrite the scripts for the other 30 episodes in case Newt had plagiarized anything for them too.

If there's anything to take from this it's never be a lazy hack and entrust your work to someone else who isn't passionate about the project as you're supposed to be, and if you do, make sure to go over their work to ensure it's of the highest quality, and if not, tweak it to make it so. Otherwise you get a nasty blemish like this episode which will never go away, regardless how hard Screenwave tries to hide it and pretend it never happened.

So, can we expect to see a Monster Madness this year or any other year? Unless James finds the time to write them himself and actually share his actual thoughts on a horror film, and put a little enthusiasm and care into his work, probably not. But maybe that's for the best. Do we really want James to drive the nail even further into the coffin he created for Monster Madness? As sad as it is, it's probably for the best to just look back on the classic episodes and enjoy what we had from a much better era in Cinemassacre. Nothing but good memories there.

The Angry Video Game Nerd: Hudson Hawk (NES) (2022) Season 16, Episode 4

More of the same from modern AVGN.

[5/10 · 10 September 2022]

There's been worse AVGN episodes released in recent years. The 200th episode being the absolute worst of the worst, and I will be genuinely shocked if Rolfe manages to create an episode of even lower quality than that over-hyped, underwhelming mess that was nothing more than a boring clip-show peppered with unfunny commentary on any game covered by the modern Nerd, as well as poorly acted skits either with the Nerd by himself or with the awkward, mumbling, uncharismatic game designer.

As for the year of our lord 2022, it has been a mostly 'meh' year overall for AVGN with The Last Ninja; an improvement over Episode 200 but still lacking the passion and soul of the Nerd's heyday. Purr Pals; a pretty forgettable episode. The Contra Retrospective; fairly decent despite a shockingly bad scene featuring Godawful, phoned in acting as badly animated poop rains down on him.

As for Hudson Hawk, it's pretty much more of the same from this year, an average episode about the game based on the 1991 flop "Hudson Hawk" starring the James Rolfe of Hollywood actors, Bruce Willis. To give the episode some credit, it feels like Rolfe is trying to hearken back to old school AVGN as the Nerd sits on his couch, "playing" the game, while bemoaning the questionable design choices, and every now and then clips from the movie will be spliced in to add to a comment or a "joke" made, like the Back to the Future episode; and with better acting, humor and writing, I could see the Hudson Hawk episode being as classic as the Back to the Future episode was, or at least really good; and who knows, maybe if James had made the Hudson Hawk episode during the Golden Age or Silver Age, it could have been a classic, but those illustrious days of the Nerd are far gone and what we have is what plagues all modern AVGN episodes: a flat script and even flatter acting that kills whatever Rolfe and Screenwave set out to do. And nowhere is that more apparent than with the forced and fake "anger" of the modern Nerd as opposed to the genuine anger seen in the classic episodes. This brings me to my next critique as I personally believe the Hudson Hawk episode quite possibly has the absolute worst attempt at showing "anger" ever in a modern Nerd video. The moment happens right after the Nerd gets a game over due to the game's poor design, James' "outburst" sounds more like he's suffering from constipation, or experiencing something of the ten-inch variety if you catch my drift, and to top it off, for a split second it looks as if James breaks character and realizes just how bad the take was before it cuts back to the game play footage. This scene was so unbelievable, I had to re-watch it, and I'm sure if anyone watches the episode, they'll be taken aback by this moment too. I also have to wonder if that was the only "angry" take James did as later in the review, the exact same constipated sound is used off screen during a montage of the Nerd losing at the game. That, and the terrible Atari joke that also has to be seen to be believed, are certainly the worst aspects of the Nerd's latest review. The recurring joke of the Nerd trying to drink a beer but something prevents him, done as a pastiche of a recurring joke in the Hudson Hawk film involving Willis and a cappuccino, would have worked better if Rolfe didn't explain the joke before doing his parody of the same exact joke. The joke revolving around the origin of a certain talking pickle wasn't great but could have certainly been worse. The timing and humor of the origin joke is mainly spoiled by, you guessed it, James' ambivalent performance.

As for the review itself, pretty standard commentary, nothing particularly interesting but not as boring as some episodes from last year, and at least he's actually giving a review of a game, unlike the Shrek episode from 2021 which barely counted as a review at all.

Overall, a basic episode with the kind of quality you'd expect from modern AVGN. Not great but not as awful as some modern episodes have been. And hey, there's no way Rolfe would ever make something as terrible as Episode 200 again... Right? RIGHT? RIIIIIIIIIGHT?

Cinemassacre Video: Rocky Climbed a Mountain (Rocky IV filming locations) (2022) Season 5, Episode 17

A far cry from Rocky Jumped a Park Bench

[5/10 · 21 August 2022]

In 2008, indie filmmaker and content creator James Rolfe, better known to many on the internet as the Angry Video Game Nerd, or the Angry Nintendo Nerd from humble beginnings, made a little documentary to express his love towards a certain beloved franchise featuring an underdog rising up to the challenge of his life and becoming a champion. It was an insightful documentary chocked full of passion as Rolfe traveled around Philadelphia, visiting locations which were used for the first Rocky movie, while also interviewing locals in the area and asking them about their thoughts on the 1976 classic.

In 2022, fourteen years later, James Rolfe gives us an unexpected sequel, entitled Rocky Climbed a Mountain, it sees Rolfe heading off to Jackson Hole, Wyoming which stood in for Siberia, Russia in the 1985 sequel, Rocky IV, where he aspires to visit the various filming locations, most notably the mountain used for the famous training sequence. Along for the ride is a fellow Rocky fan by the name of Derek Wayne Johnson, who has also made several Rocky documentaries of his own, John G. Avildsen: King of the Underdogs (2017) and 40 Years of Rocky: The Birth of a Classic (2020).

What could possibly go wrong? It has the ingredients of being a fine documentary, James Rolfe proved he could do it once before. But alas, it's not the case and for one simple reason. No prepping.

The one thing any filmmaker should do, be it making a movie or a documentary, is prep. That way you avoid unnecessary headaches like being ill equipped or unprepared for what lies ahead. Pretty simple stuff. And in James' case, the first thing he should have done before setting out to Wyoming was do research to see if the areas he planned to visit were available to the public, and if not, simply enquiring for permission to shoot on the private property wouldn't have taken too much time, and if permission to shoot on the locations were denied, at least he had tried and could have stated in the documentary that they were refused permission, letting the viewers know these simple measures were taken, It goes a long way in showing that there was passion and effort behind the scenes. Instead, James goes in blind, just assuming the locations are freely available and comes off unprofessional and amateurish when he discovers that certain areas are off limits. But that's not the worst of it. One has to wonder what James was thinking when planning a documentary called Rocky Climbed a Mountain, surely he knew that would entail having to climb the said mountain himself, or at least attempting to climb it. No one would have begrudged him if he quit halfway if things became too hazardous, at least we could say that he tried. But it seems James thought climbing a mountain would be as easy as walking in a park, or jumping over a park bench, since James not only goes into the documentary unprepared, but ill equipped too. Taking with him his worn out sneakers, a t-shirt, a cap, and a backpack, and some twigs, James neglects to bring any form of climbing gear, equipment, or even hire a guide, for such a perilous journey, and is then stunned when his attempts to climb even a fraction of the mountain doesn't go to plan, leading to the final scene where he breaks down on camera and decides to back out on his goal of reaching the top.

As you can imagine, with all these issues holding the documentary back, what we're left with is a surface level look at the locations, mostly seen from afar, rather than up close and personal, defeating the whole point of what James set out to accomplish. A far cry from Rocky Jumped a Park Bench. Be it complacency, or incompetence, or both, Rocky Climbed a Mountain fails to deliver on what it promises and overall, it feels underwhelming and anti-climatic. Had James been better prepared, it could have been a contender, with a triumphant moment which sees him reaching the top and reliving the iconic final shot of the training montage. The drone suggests that Rolfe had intentions of recreating the helicopter shot atop the mountain from Rocky IV.

The documentary isn't entirely without merit. What we are shown is interesting for any Rocky fan to see how the locations look today, and if there's one thing James does really well, it's matching shots up. His attention to detail and keen eye is on full display as he spots the subtle differences between the two mountains used for the helicopter shot and the medium, close up shots, as well as pointing out in a mountain climbing video, likely done to show some kind of mountain climbing in a documentary about climbing a mountain, that the climbers have passed the exact spot that Rocky did in the montage. Rocky Climbed a Mountain is also useful as a textbook example of how not to make a documentary.

Always come prepared.

Unhappy (2021)

A very interesting drama that feels very sincere

[10/10 · 4 February 2021]

"Unhappy" is a very interesting drama that feels very sincere. The film has a raw and minimalist style as we see a single shot of Marc Berger (played by Thomas Goersch, who also wrote and directed the short). Marc is an actor who has decided to record himself and talk about his unhappy life and what an unhappy life it is. It's like Marc was doomed to experience one tragedy after another since childhood when his father walk out on his mother, forcing him to become the man of the house. If that wasn't hard enough, his estranged parents showed no love towards him, and his brothers were far from close to him. So, having to endure a lonely existence as he grew up, it only gets worse when he finds himself in a loveless marriage to a cold husband who he has long since divorced. The unhappiness doesn't stop there, Marc has also suffered from cancer twice alone with no support from his family who he has emancipated himself from, not to mention battling against depression and overcoming his attempts at committing suicide.

Personal problems aren't the only unhappy things in Marc's life. He's also been struggling as an actor to find success and so feels like he's a failure with no creativity, no money, and no real purpose in life.

What is fascinating about the film is that while Marc discusses his unhappy existence, he never once breaks down or cries or shows any sorrow. We get a clear picture that although the unhappiness is a heavy burden for him, he's come to accept the distressing reality that he will never come to know happiness of any kind. Love, fulfillment and success will forever be out of his reach. It's merely a dream which can never come true for him.

The performance by Thomas Goersch feels very sincere, one gets the feeling that while Marc Berger is a fictional character, he has put a lot of truth into the role and is using the film, and the character, as a means of expressing his own unhappiness onto film as a form of catharsis. And if that's not the case, he does a very convincing job of making it seem so.

Overall, Unhappy is drama in its most pure form. No hammy dialogue. No over the top performances, just a man sharing with us what will always be the greatest and most tragic drama of them all: life itself.

It's a must watch film for fans of genuine drama and minimalist art films.

The Ashington Smurf (2018)

An hilarious little short

[10/10 · 5 September 2018]

The Ashington Smurf is a 1 minute and 20 second short film that will certainly stick with you and tickle your funny bones while you watch it and long after seeing it.

It's so bizarre and random that it's downright priceless. This little parody, as the title suggests, amusingly spoofs the original Belgian comic book, and points the finger most of all at Father Abraham and The Smurfs which was a novelty album back in the 70s.

There is a great moment where the Ashington Smurf, a very funny performance by Gary Gooch which adds to the craziness of the overall short, argues with Father Abraham about their song on Top of the Pops and how it was supposed to make them famous but instead it didn't.

It's just the icing on the cake to how crazy this short film is. I highly recommend checking it out. You won't regret seeing this hilarious little short. It's far more worth watching than those awful live action Smurf films from Sony.

The Snowman (2017)

An odd and strange film that leaves you with more questions than answers.

[4/10 · 6 April 2018]

The Snowman, based on the best seller by Jo Nesbo was certainly lost in translation when adapted to the big screen. It's a missed opportunity, putting it mildly.

I heard that the film was a mess and I decided to see it for myself if it really was a mess due to being unfinished, and they were right. It's a real unfinished mess all right. The film suffers from a strong lack of focus, the killer's methods are barely fleshed out. Fassbender plays nothing more than a burned out cop cliche.

His partner is just stuck up for most of the film and then has some personal vendetta to avenger her father's death halfway through the film, only to get killed, which is bold but makes her already thin character arc even more superficial.

Her death is supposed to be motivational for Fassbender's character but since they have zero chemistry together, it's all unengaging and doesn't amount to anything.

The acting is very flat as a whole, no one shows much emotion, they are as cold as the environment they are surrounded in, which seems to be a common style for the director. And when they do emote, like the scene with the dad in the car talking about the girl being his daughter, it's that forced dramatic acting that's used to win Oscars.

JK Simmons is such a poor red herring, his character is literally nothing more than that.

I figured out the real killer's identity on the train scene where he talks with Fassbender, something about him made me feel that he was the killer, it just felt obvious.

The final confrontation with the killer and the ending as a whole was rushed. You get the feeling that they just had to get everything wrapped up as quick as they could.

The editing relied too much on choppy cuts. The cinematography was nice, some great shots of the locations.

Overall, it really does feel like only 60% of the movie was filmed and edited together to give a very unfulfilling and unsatisfying experience with an odd and strange film that leaves you with more questions than answers.

Trailer for NECRO (2018)

After seeing this taster, I'm looking forward to the main course

[10/10 · 12 March 2018]

If this short film/trailer is anything to go by, the actual film version when funded and made will be something dark, gruesome, and disturbing for sure as director Rob Ceus (Slime, Zombies from Sector 9) shows us a nice appetizer to the horrors that he has planned in this representation. There looks to be plenty of madness, murder, nudity, and old school practical effects for the death scenes and the demons who torment and drive the main character, Henry, to insanity.

The effects for the gore are grisly and bloody. If he can make these kind of effects on a tight budget with this short film, imagine just how nasty and brutal they will be for the actual film on a higher budget. And the demon shown in the trailer looks really cool and effective.

After seeing this taster, I'm looking forward to the main course and seeing what horrifying nightmares await in the film version, it looks like it will be one hell of a grind-house experience.

Haytabo (1971)

A beautiful and fascinating film that showed Ulli Lommel had promise.

[10/10 · 13 January 2018]

Ulli Lommel is a director who has certainly become infamous for his very long list of films which usually fit the bill of "worst movie ever made", especially in the 2000s and onward when he started making zero budget direct-to-video serial killer movies, such as "Zodiac Killer" (2004), "Black Dahlia" (2006) and "Son of Sam" (2008), as well as cheaply made horror films in general like the notorious "Zombie Nation" (2004) and "The Raven" (2006).

Lommel's infamy is also asscoiated to the Boogeyman 'franchise' that Lommel milked in the worst way imaginable. The series consists of sequels like "Boogeyman II" (1983) (and the even worse Boogeyman 2 Redux - Director's Cut version released in 2003) and "Return of the Boogeyman" (1993), these sequels did nothing more than have 40% (or less) new footage which was cheaply made and poorly acted while the rest of the films runtimes were just made up of flashbacks that recycled footage from Lommel's original 1980 film "The Boogeyman", a film that was famous for being a banned video nasty here in the UK and gained a little cult following. Lommel's original Boogeyman was a big hit in the States, an independently made slasher film that made millions in the box office and caught the interest of Paramount Pictures who wanted to sign Lommel up for a big budget sequel, which he turned down to make his independently made clip show sequel instead.

Lommel seemed to find his calling in the world of indie horror and would then go on to make decent horror, thrillers, like "Olivia" (1983), "Brainwaves" (1983), and "The Devonsville Terror" (1983). Far from masterpieces, but much better than his later work in the world of DTV. Lommel would then span out to different genres in the 80s, making all sorts of movies, like the hilariously bad and crazy gems "Strangers in Paradise" (1984) and "Overkill" (1987), and then bad movies like "Revenge of the Fallen Stars" (1986) and "IFO" (1987). To many, "The Boogeyman" is that one sole highlight in Lommel's much maligned career and the rest of his films range from either "so bad that they are bad", or "so bad that they are entertaining". Lommel has been considered to many as the next Ed Wood (Revenge of the Stolen Stars actor Barry Hickey called Lommel "probably one of the worst directors in Hollywood. Like Ed Wood.") and it's easy to see why, Lommel's films were usually packed full of bad acting, terrible dialogue, huge continuity errors, line flubs, crew or equipment visible in shots, incoherent story telling, strange angles and choppy editing, and much more that made his films, especially his later ones, on par with the legendary Ed Wood.

But things were not always this way, in the beginning, back in Lommel's native homeland of Germany, he was actually someone with a lot of promise. Ulli Lommel had a working relationship with the legendary auteur Rainer Werner Fassbinder, acting in many of his films. But acting wasn't the only thing Lommel did in Germany with Fassbinder, he also directed and believe it or not but these films actually showed that Lommel was a director with style and skill, his early work showed a man who may not have been the next Fassbinder but was pretty close to being on par with him, and it all began here with this little seen and little known art house, sci-fi movie "Haytabo", starring Eddie Constantine who many may remember from Jean Luc-Godard's 1965 classic "Alphaville".

Now the plot of the film, for those who speak German, may be more deeper because they can understand it, I can't really say what happens too much story wise because the DVD only came with German audio and no English subtitles, but the synopsis on IMDB gives a clear idea what the film is basically about and due to the abstract and artistic nature of the film, I have a feeling that the movie is less about plot and more about the visuals which are stunning. Despite the language barrier, the structure of the film was easy to follow, and I never once felt lost when watching it. It's kind of funny when an abstract art film in a language I don't understand made by Lommel is much easier to follow than Lommel's later English films which jumped around spastically and virtually were hard to follow (Overkill for example).

Another thing unlike Lommel's later films is that this movie is actually photographed well, it is a visually beautiful and fascinating movie, it certainly is an art film, one could imagine a painter had directed it, one scene which stood out to me was a great shot of a sky in the middle of sunset, it was gorgeous and the combination of Elton John's Love Song added to the overall impact of the moment. The message of the film is evident in the film, it's about life and living it to the fullest, make the most of it and cherish it because no one can live forever, immortality is nothing more than an unattainable dream.

There are also many more great shots, creative framing, and unique filmed moments, a nice usage of slow motion here and there that adds to the art house nature of the movie, and an amazing soundtrack that complimented the visuals. It showed that Lommel had an eye and a distinct vision that would have made him an artistic pioneer right up there with Fassbinder had he gone down that road. Speaking of Fassbinder, the great director has a little cameo in the film.

However, the film is not 100% flawlessly made, even back then, working with Fassbinder himself, Lommel showed traits of becoming the next Ed Wood, there is one scene, ironically during the Fassbinder cameo, where there is a revealing error. Fassbinder's scene takes place in an old ruined building out in the snow, but for one brief moment, what seems to be an insert pick-up shot done later during the shoot, Fassbinder is standing in front of a sheet which has been painted to resemble the snow covered ruin. This wouldn't be so obvious if it wasn't for the fact that the camera is placed in such an angle that you can see the edge of the sheet and the hand of the crew member in the background holding it in what appears to be a stage.

These kinds of Ed Wood style goofs would later plague Lommel's career. The original 1983 version of Boogeyman II has an opening credits sequence for the original cut (which used the title Revenge of the Boogeyman) that uses white title cards with red birthday cake style text, and twice you see the crew member's fingers holding them.

But "Haytabo" was Lommel's first film and mistakes often happen for a first time filmmaker, especially one working on such a small budget. That one error aside during the Fassbinder cameo, the film is a fantastic first attempt and never feels cheap or low budget at all, it is very much a work of art. And his second film with Fassbinder producing, "Die Zärtlichkeit der Wölfe" (1973) (The Tenderness of the Wolves) is even greater, showing that Lommel was learning and growing under the guidance of Fassbinder. His other German works without Fassbinder were hit or miss, but his third film with Fassbinder producing and with actor Kurt Raab (who starred and wrote Tenderness of the Wolves) starring in, "Adolf und Marlene" (1977) (Adolf and Marlene) showed Lommel getting it right again. After that, Lommel went off to America and made two films under the guidance of another artist, the legendary Andy Warhol, "Cocaine Cowboys (1979) and "Blank Generation" (1980), two bizarre movies that have a nice mix of Lommel and Warhol.

It's clear to see with his directorial debut and following films that Lommel had untapped potential that worked best when working with Fassbinder. Without his guiding hand, Lommel seemed to stumble, sometimes making good films and usually making bad ones. Lommel naturally couldn't work with Fassbinder forever, and it was only normal for Lommel to want to spread his wings and make films by himself, but maybe he just needed a few extra years as an apprentice directing films with Fassbinder teaching him everything he knew, then when he did go off to America to work by himself, his films may have worked out far better than they did. Who knows, but one thing is certain, the three films Lommel made with Fassbinder must be seen. "Haytabo" is only available on a German DVD but isn't too hard to find, if you understand the language you will get even more out of it, if not, sit back and be ready to get lost in a surreal and dream-like journey. "Tenderness of the Wolves" is very easy to get, Arrow Films recently released a Blu-Ray DVD combo that is the definitive purchase. "Adolf and Marlene" sadly is more obscure and very hard to track down, if you can find it, watch it.

If you have ever wondered if Lommel ever could direct a film, "Haytabo", "Tenderness of the Wolves", and "Adolf and Marlene" were proof that he could.

Six Dollars Well Spent (2010)

Once you see it, you can't unsee it

[10/10 · 29 November 2017]

Anyone who has played Valve's Left 4 Dead 2, the 2009 highly anticipated sequel to the 2008 smash hit Left 4 Dead, will know of the mighty football coordinator himself, Coach.

Well, you will never be able to look at the character or the game in exactly the same light after seeing this absolutely barmy, crude and hilarious little short animated parody by the one and the only crazy content creator on Youtube himself, John Tennek.

I won't spoil the surprise that awaits, but you will be left either cringing, bewildered, or laughing hysterically (or all three) at the complete random madness that ensues. It is short but unforgettable. Once you see it, you can't unsee it.

Another priceless gem from Mr. Tennek.

A Tale of Two Super Space Warriors (2012)

Big Green Dead!?

[10/10 · 10 November 2017]

"A Tale Of Two Super Space Warriors" is a mental and entertaining Dragon Ball Z video made by Youtuber John Tennek, or MrTennek as he calls himself, it's one of the best and one of my favourites of his DBZ re-edits.

All of Mr. Tennek's trademark styles are present, crazy filters, psychedelic effects, volume that has been turned up to maximum with filters to make it that even more deafening, and a completely bonkers pace that jumps from one scene to the next that will leave you thinking you were experiencing one insane drug trip while watching DBZ.

It is absolutely hilarious, DBZ has been perfectly reshaped to fit Mr. Tennek's wacky humour. One such highlight, taken from Movie 5 of DBZ, Goku is looking at a dying bird, I won't spoil it but believe me, if you love insane randomness, you will be in stitches as I was with what follows.

The one other thing I must point out about this edit is the footage that was used to create it and how it introduced me to something truly remarkable in the world of DBZ's many dubs. When I first saw it, I was left intrigued, what dub was it, I had grown up as a kid seeing the Ocean and Funi Dubs, I was unfamiliar with the voices I was hearing in the edit, and left baffled by the reason why Piccolo was being referred to as "Big Green". It was here, thanks to Mr. Tennek, that I discovered the AB Groupe's infamously bad dub of the movies which fans call the Big Green dub due to Piccolo's name being changed to the aforementioned Big Green. And what a treat that was.

I have to thank Mr. Tennek for creating such an hilarious edit out of the hilariously bad Big Green Dubs, and for introducing me to those dubs and providing some of the best unintentional laughs I have had in a long time.

Duh Saiya Peepulz Versus Kuralla (2013)

"Don't try to take Saiya People lightly!"

[10/10 · 10 November 2017]

Anyone who is a fan of Dragon Ball Z will most likely be aware of the notorious bad dubs that are linked to the show, one famously being the Speedy Dub, a nickname fans gave the Malaysian Dub of DBZ which has gained a small cult following for its hilariously bad quality, from the poor dubbing production values, the bad acting, the broken English (or Engrish) that often makes dialogue difficult to fully comprehend, and the baffling changes to the names of characters and objects in the world of DBZ, it's a truly epic disaster that certainly lets you see the anime in a different light.

Here are a few for examples of the original names and the bizarre changes in the Speedy Dub.

Saiyajin - Saiya People

Goku - Sangoku. Or more confusing, in Bojack Unbound and Fusion Reborn, they change his name to "Gohan"

Gohan - in Bojack Unbound and Fusion Reborn, he was renamed "Goku", I guess someone must have got the names mixed up.

Vegeta - Bezita, or sometimes Beta.

and finally

King Kai - Gay King

These are just to name a few. Bottom line, the Speedy Dub is infamous for its badness, and has a special place up there in hilarious bad DBZ dubs, right next to the AB Groupe's Big Green Dub.

Now, on to the review of this video. A certain Youtuber by the name of John Tennek, or MrTennek as he calls himself, took it upon himself to re-dub a segment of the infamous Speedy Dub version of the movie "Dragon Ball Z: Fight! 10 Billion Power Warriors" or "Dragon Ball Z: The Return of Cooler" as it's mainly known as in the West, and he did the impossible, he made something that was so bad that it was unintentionally funny into something that is actually really good and actually funny. It's clear Mr. Tennek has a love of DBZ, as well as a passion for all things animated and adores voice acting in general if you have seen the content he has created over the many years on Youtube, and this showcases his skills at editing, sound effects, and overall, his voice acting. He does his best impressions of the infamous voices from the Malaysian Dub of DBZ Movie 6 while also giving his own spin and charm to the voices. He follows the dialogue exactly, the only difference is the quality is much better, it's all actually professionally made, he can actually act, you can actually understand what's being said, but even so, Mr. Tennek doesn't change the incomprehensible words into perfectly understandable English, the broken gibberish is lovingly preserved to keep the spirit of the original dub intact. His use of new sound effects perfectly compliment the feel of his re-dub of the Speedy Dub, it gives the wacky feel of the Dub that extra quirkiness. It is clear that a lot of love and care went into this fan recreation of the Malyasian Dub's version of the Goku, Vegeta, Metal Cooler fight, and I highly recommend seeing it.

If you are a fan of DBZ and the Speedy Dub, or if you are new to the craziness that is Malaysia's dub of DBZ, you owe it to yourselves to see this great parody, it will certainly give you a new perspective towards the Speedy Dub, and if you are not a fan of Mr. Tennek's work already or new to his work, you may just become a fan.

Mr. Tennek is one of the most underrated content creators on YouTube, his style, comedy, humour, and talent is fresh, hilarious, wild, and crazy. He certainly deserves a bigger following. Why he hasn't had the chance to get much attention is a mystery to me.

Kot In De Nacht (2016)

An interesting premise that's been given the mainstream treatment

[1/10 · 1 November 2017]

Kot In De Nacht (Dead of Night) has a very interesting premise, a young woman is in her bathroom, ready to take a bath when suddenly she notices something strange in her mirror, unsure if it's her imagination running wild or an actual demonic creature standing in the background, she soon finds out the truth.

With such a scary concept, a demonic creature hiding inside a mirror, you would think that the short film would be an eerie and unsettling horror as you watch a nightmare unfolding before your very eyes, but it isn't really. The movie feels flat on the scare factor as it doesn't deliver any tension or atmosphere at all, it doesn't mess with your head or get under your skin, it doesn't play on our fear of something staring back at us through the surface of a mirror. It just feels like it's going through the motions and being as safe and commercial as it can be to appeal to mainstream audiences who watch films like "Paranormal Activity" or "The Conjuring". You can tell exactly what's going to happen a mile away before the inevitable final scene is even shown. The finale is so telegraphed and so predictable that it's obvious that the demon is going to jump out and make a loud sudden noise, and while the demon jumping out the mirror is done well enough as a jump scare to give the audience a quick startle for those who are easily startled, it's not frightening in the long run, there's no lasting effect to creep you out once you are alone to dwell on it.

The film is not fully without any merit. It is shot well, the director knows how to point the camera, create a set piece, and execute it. It has a nice use of lighting to give it that Halloween season feel to it. The lack of dialogue and the wide eyed acting from the lead actress gives the short film an old silent horror movie feel to it. The design and make-up for the demon is effective looking and is not overused, it is shot well for the build up and the payoff with the jump scare.

Overall, Kot In De Nacht (Dead of Night) is not a short film that's going to scare you or leave a lasting impression long after you've watched it. You won't be afraid to go near a mirror again, nor will you be seeing it in your dreams or having it lurk in your thoughts when you are in bed with the lights off. Director David Van De Wayer has made a movie which is light on any real scares, and instead created a mainstream style horror which will appeal to the masses.

Slime (I) (2017)

A fun and charming short film

[10/10 · 7 August 2017]

Slime is a short film by rising Belgium indie horror film director Rob Ceus. With "Bride Zombie", "Zombies from Sector 9", and now this, he is making it known that he has the skill, the passion, and the talent to make a well made and great horror film full of incredible looking practical effects and only relies on a small usage of computer visual effects. A lot of horror directors in Hollywood can learn a thing or two here, they should be following this approach, heavy use of old school practical effects and the CGI only used sparingly when it's impossible for any practical effects to be used. They would make way more memorable, fun, and horrific movies this way, because Slime is way more unforgettable, entertaining, and gruesome than anything to come out of Hollywood in a long, long time.

The plot of the film is short and simple, a meteor crash lands on Earth containing a glowing green liquid. A drunken man named Drogan, (played by Ceus himself), stumbles into the woods and spots the meteor hitting the ground. He goes to investigate, curious at the sight of the green shining meteor, he goes to touch it and ends up getting slime on his fingers which burns his skin. Returning home, he is horrified to discover that the slime is melting him into a puddle of green liquid.

If the plot sounds familiar in a way to Creepshow's segment "The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill", that's because it is. The idea was originally given to Rob by his friend and fellow indie horror director Alex Wesley, famous in the underground Russian horror scene for making splatter films like "Zombie Infection" and "Demon Mind". Alex is a huge fan of Creepshow and especially the Jordy Verrill segment. Rob adapted Alex's idea and gave it his own style and twist, turning it into a cool homage to Creepshow, but also The Blob and body shock horror films in general.

The CGI effects for the meteor flying in the sky and crash landing work, it gives the movie a nice old sci-fi horror B-movie charm. The practical stuff is the big highlight of the movie, it's truly impressive that Rob has managed to create these kinds of high quality effects on such a modest budget. The blistering flesh looks real, the popping boils that ooze green liquid look gross, and the main big effect, the man melting into a skeleton and then into nothing is truly outstanding, it has that great Evil Dead feel to it, it's truly fantastic and makes Slime so re-watchable, it is inspiring to see how limitless creativity can be, even when working on a limited budget. It gives hope to upcoming filmmakers that nothing is impossible.

The acting and dialogue in the film gives the movie a nice balance of comedy to go with the horror. There is plenty of colourful language and a great self aware, tongue in cheek, humour that go hand in hand to give you many laughs as well as gasps.

Slime is truly a charming and fun little gem of a short film. And it shows that if Rob Ceus can create this level of quality with a short film on a small budget, imagine what he could do with a feature film on a higher budget.

I highly recommend seeing this film.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

One of the biggest disappointments of the year

[3/10 · 24 May 2017]

I wanted to like this film, I really did but sadly I am not impressed with Alien Covenant. I had problems with Prometheus, but overall I enjoyed that movie in the cinema and I still do. But Alien Covenant is a whole different story for me. It might look good and be well made as you expect from Ridley Scott, but everything else is lacking what made Alien a hit back in 1979.

There are many problems with this film, such as none of the answers from Prometheus getting answered, instead all ties with that film are either quickly tied up or ignored, while it was unsatisfying I knew that it would do everything it could to distance itself from Prometheus due to the backlash from fans. One of my biggest problems with Alien Covenant for me was that it was just too fast paced, there was no build up, no tension, no atmosphere. Interesting ideas such as the Neomorph are underused, the thing is killed roughly 15 minutes after it is birthed. And then there is David somehow creating the eggs and that leading into an AVP Esq moment where about 5 minutes after the Facehugger latches onto the captain, the baby Xenomorph is born and then a short time after that it's an adult, and they mess up the Xenemorph reveal as bad as the Neomorph, where is the slow, suspenseful reveal? This movie feels like it's made for people with ADHD. The action scenes might look good but they lack any investment and just end up going through the motions as the lead characters fight against and dispose of the attacking Xenomorph like a self contained threat that is easily handled. The Neomorphs are more of a perfect organism since they are contained in small pods that enter through the body via an airborne microbe, they gestate quickly and they grow quickly, and show more intelligence than the Xenomorphs who seem like a downgrade with their gestation methods and the fact they just rush into action and end up getting killed in their own haste, one jumps right into the crane's grabber and the other falls right into the trap of getting sucked out of the airlock. This is the problem with prequels and how the original low tech creation becomes obsolete with modern ideas which become more advanced. And as for David being the one to create the Xenomorph eggs from Shaw's reproductive system, it messes us continuity big time but I do kind of like the body shock aspect of it and how unsettling it is with the rest of the scenes with David and his home.

Characters themselves are paper thin, no depth, they are all just fodder and not to mention stupid to the point it makes the characters in Prometheus look like geniuses in comparison. As soon as two of the characters got infected by the spores, I knew that one Neomorph was going to die in that ship and the other would run loose (I hoped longer than 15 minutes), I was thinking the first act and a half would be a tense movie with them surviving against the Neomorph on the planet and then the last half of the second act would be a breather with David and that would lead into the third act with the Xenomorph. Nope. And oh my goodness, the gay guy, how the hell did he get impregnated, he had the Facehugger pulled off before it could do anything. And the third act was just like the rest of the movie, a rush job mess. Such a let down, this could have been a tense movie but tension was thrown away for hyperactive action scenes with CGI aliens. It was like watching AVP all over again.

I have no idea if there is a director's cut planned because as it stands, this theatrical version is a mess, way worse than the theatrical cut of Alien 3. The deaths were gruesome, I'll give it that. Oh, and the reveal that David was pretending to be Walter was so obvious. When you don't see the fate of a villain who is a double, chances are, it's them at the end.

I don't know if Ridley Scott made this bad on purpose as a middle finger to those who hated Prometheus or if he just doesn't care or understand what made Alien a classic. Dan O'Bannon, God rest his soul, I'm sure he is rolling in his grave with this film for missing the point of his film entirely.

There were 8 people in the cinema, including me, and one actually walked out halfway through. I stayed all the way, hoping there would be more things I liked rather than disliked to no avail. The only good things were Michael Fassbender as Walter and David, he is the saving grace of the film. There is one memorable scene with David and the Neomorph. Katherine Waterston is fine as the Ripley stand in but sadly doesn't have much to do. Danny McBride shows audiences that he can play a serious part convincingly and well, I hope he gets more dramatic roles that give him more screen time to showcase he is more than just a comedic actor. There's some nice visuals and shots that capture the look of Alien, but sadly not the feel.

The weather was actually sunny when I went to see it, when I came out, it was dull and raining, sums up the experience watching the movie perfectly. It was the first time I have ever felt so miserable watching a film. This is without a doubt one of the biggest disappointments of the year. I wish fan influence did not prevent Ridley Scott from making Prometheus 2 which is clearly the movie he really wanted to make and not this.

The Haunter of the Dark II (2017)

An interesting take on the classic H.P. Lovecraft tale

[10/10 · 18 April 2017]

The Haunter of the Dark II is an independent supernatural horror and mystery film made in Russia. In recent years, the underground movie scene in Russia has been growing and gaining much attention in its native land, and rightfully so, it's a great chance for many aspiring directors to have their moment to shine and see their dreams of making movies come true. Many have emerged, bringing with them weird, crazy, and imaginative films along with them, and one genre in particular to come from then underground movie scene in Russia are horror films. And The Haunter of the Dark II is one of those potential cult classics to come out from this wonderful indie cinema revolution.

The Haunter of the Dark II was written and directed by Dmitriy Khmelyov, a gifted young filmmaker who is showing that he is a growing talent, there is much potential in him. The film is based on the classic story by the master of the occult and horror, H.P. Lovecraft. And you can tell, right from the start that the director has a passion for Lovecraft's work and understands the style of the author's writings. The movie is clearly a labour of love dedicated to one of the most influential writers of the century.

At times, it reminded me of Stuart Gordon's Re-Animator (1985), in that it takes a classic Lovecraftian tale and reworks it in a contemporary setting, doing some creative and original things with the source material along the way, and all through the film you can feel the respect the filmmakers have for Lovecraft.

The Haunter of the Dark II tells the story of an author investigating a mysterious phenomenon that has be accruing recently, a weird bat- like monster with three eyes that flies through the night has been frequently seen, and it brings madness and doom along with it. One town seems to be under its influence, there is no police, crime and death are increasing, people are afraid to step outside, something strange is happening. That's not all, a serial killer has recently arrived on the scene, dressed in a green cloak and a steel mask with three eyes, he is murdering victims and taking blood and body parts for a sacrifice to unleash destruction upon the mortal world. The investigation takes the author into the very mouth of madness itself as he is thrust into a strange series of events involving murder, rituals, and The Great Old Ones themselves. It becomes a race against time as the author must stop the mysterious masked killer from completing the means of triggering the apocalypse.

The investigation angle of the film is genuinely interesting, I was intrigued from beginning to end to see how the story would unravel and what would happen next. The movie's pace allows plenty of time for the mystery to play out and be solved, it builds a lot of atmosphere and really makes you feel that the end of the world is slowly approaching, there's an underlining feeling of dread during the film, it's like a destructive power is watching and waiting, it adds to the unnerving tone. The killer himself is a cool looking character and his appearance reminded me a lot of Doctor Doom from the Fantastic 4 comics, he actually looked more like the iconic super villain than the actual Doctor Doom character in the 2005 and 2015 Fantastic 4 films. Who and what this killer is adds to the mystique and intrigue of the film, and gives the movie its scenes of blood and gore which many Russian horror films are becoming famous for having, good old fashioned practical horror FX, the best kind, it is always a million times better to see fake blood and limbs than CGI in a horror movie. That being said, this movie does have some CG scenes for the more supernatural side of the story, and while rough around the edges, it gives the film an otherworldly feel, these monsters and strange supernatural things aren't part of our reality and so it feels like something that doesn't belong in our world, it creates a sensation that you are looking at something that's not of this earth.

If you are familiar with the Russian underground horror scene, you will notice two particular directors, who are also actors, having guest cameos in this film. Alex Wesley, famous for directing Russian splatter films such as "Zombie Infection" (2011) and "Demon Mind" (2017), and Viktor Murzikov, another director famous for making short horror films like "Last Summer: Zombie Town" and "Elmer's Justice". I'm sure there are other Russian directors and actors of the underground scene there too, but Alex Wesley and Viktor Murzikov are the two stand out ones for me, both with their films and with their cameos in this. Alex Wesley plays an eye-patch wearing corrupt politician whose performance is spot on, he plays villains well, and while Viktor's part is very small during the end credits, it's quite a funny little moment where he is being interviewed about the final events of the film on a news report.

The music by Dmitriy Khmelyov is really effective, it creates an unsettling mood and gives the atmosphere more weight, it has that 70s, 80s horror movie score feel about it.

The Haunter of the Dark II is another example why the Russian underground scene needs more support and recognition outside of Russia, it's gritty, charming, and has plenty of passion behind the camera. It's creative and original, as well as a homage to the good old days of horror movies. If you are a fan of H.P. Lovecraft, 70s and 80s horror, and Russian independent horror films, then give this one a watch.

Dmitriy Khmelyov is a promising young director with a love for filmmaking and an eye for horror, I can see a good future for him, he has the skill.

Zombie Infection (2011)

A gory blast from the past

[10/10 · 27 January 2015]

The grindhouse zombie movie is back. Fans of the old school gory zombies movies of George A. Romero and the Italian zombie movies of the 80s will be beyond pleased to see that their lust for the gritty, blood filled, body shock horror with the undead and their victims are back and more violent than ever.

This movie is unapologetically gory, no holds barred, raw carnage on the screen with a great assemblage of iconic horror stars from the 80s such as Ted Vernon, star and producer of the 1988 cult classic "Scarecrows", along with Richard Vidan and Rod Sweitzer. It also includes a cameo by Claudio Fragasso, writer of the 1980 cult zombie movie "Hell of the Living Dead" and best known in his directorial work for the 1990 best worst movie ever made "Troll 2"

For fans of old school, cult horror, this is a dream come true, and like the tag line says, it clearly is "The Expendables of horror"

The Russian setting and cinematography gives the film a really creepy, eerie and moody atmosphere, the use of a digital camera gels well to create a disturbing and unsettling zombie apocalypse which feels realistic, almost like a documentary filming the event.

Writer and director Alex Wesley shows that he is a great talent in the making, he handles the film well on such a low budget. He has a love for the genre and a passion for movie making, he had to sell his own apartment to gather enough money to make the film, that's what you call dedication to your art. The gore is outstanding, he's made such realistic, brutal and repulsive violence with very little money while other filmmakers with a higher budget have created gore which feels incredibly fake. There is not one drop of CGI in this movie which makes this film feel refreshingly retro and old school, the gore feels real because it was filmed on the spot, using good old practical effects to create the illusion of realism. There is one particular gore sequence in this film that stands out and will certainly become an iconic scene.

Don't go in expecting a big budget zombie movie like "World War Z" and instead be ready to witness good old fashioned zombie bloodshed with amazing practical effects, a great cast and made by a talented director with a lot of passion for the genre. "Zombie Infection" is a love letter to old school zombie movies, made by a fan for the fans, and should not be missed. And compared to other low budget zombie movies, this one stands above them. This could become a deserving cult classic.

I can imagine if Alex Wesley was given a bigger budget, he could create a movie that would push the boundaries of ultra violence and horror to the next level. He's an upcoming director to absolutely look out for.

To purchase "Zombie Infection", you can buy it from distributor David Sterling:

https://www.facebook.com/david.sterling.167?fref=ts

Iron Warrior (1987)

An unconventional Ator and fantasy film

[8/10 · 6 April 2014]

Ator il guerriero di ferro (Iron Warrior) is a 1987 Italian sword and sorcery movie and third entry in the Ator series, the only one not directed by the legendary exploitation and erotica director Joe D'Amato (a man of many pseudonyms) but instead directed by Alfonso Brescia (credited as Al Bradley) Joe D'Amato, who denounced this sequel as a cash-in to "Ator l'invincibile", a film which was a direct copy and cash-in of the 1982 John Millus film "Conan the Barbarian", would later return in 1990 to direct the fourth and final entry "Quest for the Mighty Sword" (Ator III: The Hobgoblin) "Iron Warrior" is often considered the overlooked addition in the series and often criticized for taking itself more serious than Joe D'Amato's more unintentionally campier movies.

But for me, the change of tone is welcomed. Alfonso Brescia has a different style and a different vision making the movie a breath of fresh air and stands out in the series.

Miles O'Keefe returns as Ator in name only. This would mark his final appearance as the bare chested warrior before being replaced by Eric Allan Kramer.

The movie might not be as hilariously campy and entertainingly bad as the previous two entries or the forth film, but it's a unique film in its own right with some beautiful location shots of Malta that sets the mood for a mystical world perfectly, the most has clearly been used with the limited budget at the filmmakers disposal. The movie is an interesting blend of b-movie cheese and art-house creativity. The story is paper thin but is made up for it in the visuals.

One scene in particular features Ator standing in front of a mirror as he practices with a sword, flexing his muscles, a poignant moment that orchestrates the often narcissistic vanity of heroes. There's also a catch, the scene has a second layer, with Ator training in his symmetrical reflection and the ball promptly shattering it, it creates a foreboding sense of the hero being warned that his twin brother Trogar, seduced by the dark side to be become the titular Iron Warrior, has returned.

Despite it's more artistic tone, the movie contains many characteristics to Italian exploitation films, the dubbing, the over the top acting, in particular Elisabeth Kaza who is clearly having fun in the role of the villainess and gives an energetic flare to the film, and most of all, the blatant copying of more bigger known Hollywood movies. "2019: After the Fall of New York" borrowed from "John Carpenter's Escape from New York", "Hell of the Living Dead" borrowed from "Dawn of the Dead" in the case of "Iron Warrior", it's a mix of "Masters of the Universe" and for a complete genre change "Superman II".

A noteworthy mention is the soundtrack, to many sci-fi fans they will no doubt recognize it as Jerry Goldsmith's theme to "Star Trek: The Motion Picture", later reused for the intro for "Star Trek: The Next Generation", once again following the movie's trend of being influenced by science fiction as opposed to traditional sword and sorcery.

So sit back, sharpen your swords and embark on a mythical journey to the realm of Dragor for the unconventional Ator and fantasy film, "Iron Warrior"

Evil Dead (2013)

Evil Dead - An interesting re-imagining

[7/10 · 24 April 2013]

The Evil Dead, of course, needs no introduction. It was a infamous horror movie that sparked much controversy for its outlandish violence and gore. And not forgetting the famous tree rape scene which gained much attention.

The movie gained cult status during the Video Revolution, even receiving the honour of becoming a "Video-Nasty" in the UK.

Its low budget style, charming simplistic story, absurd gore, camp tone, not to mention publicity helped make it a horror classic that spawned two equally excellent sequels

It also featured a young, then-unknown Bruce Campbell who would later go down in history as one of the best B-Movie actors of all time.

So, it's no wonder why Fans were in such outrage and panic when they heard the terrifying news of a remake.

Good news, The Evil Dead fans should fear not for as remakes of classic horror movies go, Evil Dead is actually very good.

It's a refreshing, unique re-imagining of the groovy little gem.

A more serious, darker toned film, that still keeps the over the top, ludicrous gore from the original.

The serious tone helps create a more intense atmosphere. No fun goofy Evil Dead II goodness or the camp tone of the original here.

The style of the film is very moody and very grim, creating a uneasy tension before the nightmare has even begun.

The characters have a decent amount of depth, that little extra more than the original, but in movies like this, character is the last thing on many of the viewers minds.

A genius move was the new characters, a perfect way to explore the new story without being bound to the original and no fear of annoying fans if there's a certain difference to their personality or a change in their fate

I'm sure fans would have been outraged if the iconic Ash was portrayed in a different light and met a different fate

Not to mention fans would always compare the new actors performance to the legendary Bruce Campbell

So it's a good thing they created new protagonists, no need to walk in its predecessors shadow in that light.

That said, the movie tends to be held back at times, unable to reach brave new territory by the fact that it's a remake. It could have explored more back story of the Book of the Dead, explained its new origin, the new lore. Keep the basic premise but break away more from the traditions, did new, exciting things. Have more grotesque, imaginative scenes with the Deadites, push the boundaries of horror. It's 2013, they could have shown the most sickening, spine tingling, frightening things these monsters are capable of. The grisly end of the creatures could have spun heads.

However, there are some very disturbing scenes that made me and many others in the audience cringe but they were no different from the dismemberment you'd see in the every day average torture porn movie or slasher.

One thing that made the original so refreshing was it's bizarre gore sequences, that back then seemed so revolutionary.

There weren't many horror movies where you witnesses a brutal slaying by an axe, or hand mutilation, or even impalement that resulted in Alien- Esq milk spurting.

The remakes gore could have raised the bar for the generation of today like the first did for the generation of yesterday.

A concept I found rather interesting was the main character Mia who is trying hard to go cold turkey in a desperate attempt to kick her drug addiction. A fresh take on the cliché: lets go to the deserted house or cabin in the woods, have a few beers, get laid and get killed by the madman, monster scenario that has been done to death, a cliché that was spoofed perfectly in 2011's The Cabin in the Woods.

It added a new layer of depth for the characters, a drama that sadly never reaches its full potential, but what is shown is enough for this kind of movie.

A daring and interesting direction the director should have went with was a psychological one, have a film that played on the idea of her withdrawal symptoms, made a story that toyed with the audience, made you wonder if the things she was seeing was really happening or all a delusion in her head.

Have her fight her own personal demons, make the Deadites a representation of her struggles.

Even be so daring to have had a twist where it all as a dream in the end, or to play it a little more safe, in a triumphant spiritual conclusion, shown that it was all real and that by conquering the Deadites, Mia had conquered her addiction.

All interesting possibilities that are unfortunately never utilised. Once the madness of The Evil Dead begins, it enters demon slaying territory and stays firmly dug in there until the very end.

The psychological aspects from the original is lacking here in the remake in favour for ultra violence and while that is a disappointment, lovers of gore SFX and buckets of fake blood will have a field day at the sinister delights that await them.

The prosthetic effects are a nice change from the lazy, unconvincing CGI blood and gore that dominates practically all modern day movies.

At the end, I found it leaving me feeling like they could have done a little more.

All in all, it's a dark, trashy, over the top, ultra violent horror movie that is certainly not for the faint of heart.

It's definitely worth checking out. For Evil Dead fans and gore hounds alike.

Chôjin densetsu 1: Chôjin tanjô hen (1987 Video)

Urotsukidoji OVA 1 - Birth of the Overfiend

[10/10 · 8 December 2012]

Chôjin densetsu 1: Chôjin tanjô hen (1987)

Directed by: Hideki Takayama

Written by: Shô Aikawa

Based on the Manga by: Toshio Maeda

Plot:

Every 3000 Years, a God above all Gods is born: The Chojin, a super-being, the Overfiend.

Born to unite the three worlds, the World of Ningen (Humans) the World of the Jūjinkai (Man-Beasts) and the World of Makai (Demons) The Chojin will create a new world of peace and harmony. A paradise for the three races.

The Chojin is destined to be reborn in the body of a Human. 3000 years have passed, the Chojin is ready to awaken.

Amano Jyaku, a Jūjinkai, has been waiting 300 years for the Chojin, living among the Humans, searching for the Chosen One. To find him and see the Legend with his own eyes, to see him fulfil his destiny and fulfil the prophecy. His dream to However, others have a different agenda, the Makai, have entered the Humans World, searching for the Chojin themselves. Wishing to see the Chojin destroyed and the Prophecy stopped. By any means necessary. For the sake of their world, for the sake of their kind.

For young Nagumo and his Girlfriend Akemi, their once normal lives will soon be forever changed, for he is no ordinary teenager dominated by his raging hormones, to Amano's amazement, Nagumo is in fact, the one and only, the Chojin.

A storm is rising, the Legend of the Overfiend is about to begin.

Review:

"Chōjin Densetsu Urotsukidōji" (Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend) was a 3-Part OVA from 1987-1989, based loosely on the Manga of the same name by Toshio Maeda (La Blue Girl), both the Manga and the OVA are infamous for its shocking hardcore sex scenes, the Anime also infamous for its over the top violence.

Due to its explicit content, the OVA is rarely seen outside of Japan in it's Uncut Form.

The 1989 Cut Version, edited to a Theatrical Length and Dubbed in English is the most well known Version to Western Audiences, and is the most common Version to find on VHS and DVD.

The Uncensored Japanese Version does exist on DVD alongside the Uncensored Version of the sequel "Shin Chōjin Densetsu Urotsukidōji: Mataiden" (Urotsukidoji II: Legend of the Demon Womb), but is extremely rare and the Uncut DVD'S on sale go for a very high price, usually $100 or more.

On the outside, "Urotsukidoji: Legend of the Overfiend" can be seen as hentai and hardcore porn, but if you take away the layers and look inside, the OVA is much more. The First Part, along with the Two Episodes that follow, have an interesting fantasy story that is engaging and original, a fascinating concept, imaginative artwork, amazing character designs, a great soundtrack that is both atmospheric, pulse pounding and beautiful and great animation that captures the grotesque acts, violence and traditional anime action scenes perfectly.

It also features a truly beautiful and tragic love story that is just as powerful as the Shakespearean love story, Romeo & Juliet.

The OVA also has an interesting message about fate, and how no matter how much you try to fight it, no matter how much you try to run from it, no matter how much you want to stop it, it will always happen in the end. Fate is an unstoppable force. The Chojin represents that force.

The First OVA, "Birth of the Overfiend" is the calm before the storm, but even in that calm, madness is running wild, the OVA starts things off with a bang, and the ferocity never dies down until the very end, the first part features an over the top hentai rape scene featuring a Demon Schoolteacher and her student, a violent fight scene atop the roofs, and the insane transformation of the Chojin A taster for the true chaos that is about to ensue.

Overview:

If you are easily offended, this OVA may not be for your liking If you can see the over the top sex and violence as just entertainment, not to be taken seriously or if you love anime or fantasy with a bit of flesh + blood to spice it up, this Three-Part OVA is right up your alley.

If you can find it Uncut and Uncensored, prepare to witness Animation beyond Imgaination.

Prometheus (I) (2012)

Prometheus - Flawed but Enjoyable

[8/10 · 3 June 2012]

Prometheus (2012)

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Screenplay by: Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof

Prologue:

Prometheus, the long awaited instalment in the Alien Saga is finally here, and like everyone, I was excited to go see it

After all, this was a new Alien movie that was being directed by Ridley Scott, the visionary genius behind the 1979 classic that started it all, not only that but it was to be a Prequel that expands the Alien Universe and sheds light on the long, mysterious Mythology behind the Space Jockies

and Prometheus would also return the series to its roots with the dark, Gothic H.R. Giger style surroundings

I couldn't wait.

Plot:

In the year 2089, an archaeologist couple Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway discover a star map hidden among the remnants of other unconnected ancient cultures. Believing all this to be connected to the human race's creators. Peter Weyland, the founder of the powerful Weyland Corporation, funds the creation of the scientific vessel named after the Greek Titan Prometheus to follow the star map to the moon LV-223 to find mankind's makers, dubbed "Engineers" by Shaw.

In the year 2093, the ship arrives and lands near an alien structure. A team including Shaw, Holloway, and David explores the structure, while Vickers and Captain Janek monitor their progress on-board the ship.

What was meant to be the scientific discovery of a lifetime, soon becomes a nightmare of complete terror as the intentions of the structure and of the Gods who made us becomes clear.

Review:

Prometheus is interesting movie with great ideas that is executed both good and flawed at the same time The visuals are stunning and impressive, you can definitely see the Budget was well spent for the CGI.

The sets of the Prometheus ship and the Space Jockey ruins are beautiful and reminiscent to "Alien" The effects for the Space Jockies and the Alien Bio-weapons were decent The acting is good, especially from Michael Fassbender as David, there is a fascinating mixture of childish innocence, profound wit and a dark sinister core.

Charlize Theron is exceptional as the forceful, commanding and ruthless Vickers

Noomi Rapace was good as Shaw, it was interesting to see that the main heroin was not just another Ripley clone, as seen in both AVP and AVP-R

She was frail, but also had a deep inner strength within.

I liked Idris Elba as the Captain of the Prometheus, it was a shame they didn't give him more screen time and give the viewer the same feeling they had for Dallas in Alien.

Guy Pearce as Peter Weyland was alright, but distracting, like most movies where a young actor or actress is put in old age make-up and has to pretend to be old. Highlander II: The Quickening with Christopher Lambert as old MacLeod is a prime example. It's a really hard thing to pull off, but props to Guy Pearce for trying his best.

The rest of the cast was okay, but needed more time to develop all of them, and because of this, most of them end up being like the characters from AVP, you don't really know much about their personality to care what happens to them.

Another problem Prometheus has is the script which has a fair share of plot holes It also doesn't know whether it wants to be a body shock horror, an infected colleague gone mad kind of horror, an atmospheric horror or sci-fi adventure. But for some reason, the bonkers style changes makes the film entertaining It's like a bizarre, wild ride, where you don't know what you're in for next.

One flaw that this movie has is that at times, it feels that there is something missing, it feels like there should be scenes in the film to explore more of the story and the characters

Hopefully there will be a Director's Cut for the DVD & Blu-Ray Release that fills the movie completely.

Another flaw some people have is the pacing, while it may be slow to begin with, I believe it was intentional for creative reasons. The movie was building up atmosphere and tension in the same style as Alien. The slow pacing with the first half wasn't a problem for me.

Overview:

Prometheus is a flawed movie but also enjoyable if you can look past the plot holes and the flaws.

I definitely recommend checking Prometheus out with an open mind

Enjoy the movie for what it is, a beautifully shot, crazy styled expansion of the Alien Universe.

Strange Fruit (1979)

A Dark Short Film

[10/10 · 28 August 2009]

Strange Fruit (1978)

Directed by Seth Pinsker

Screenplay by: Stephen Katz and Seth Pinsker

Based on the Novel by: Lillian Smith

Review:

Before Seth Pinsker wrote and directed The Hidden II (Which I thought was okay although it isn't as good as the first film) he Directed this Dark Short Film about Racism back in 1948.

Strange Fruit is one of those Films that lets you see how Cruel, Mean and Unforgiving most White People were back in the Old Days.

Another thing Strange Fruit shows is how Difficult and Frustrating it was for Black People to live with all the Racism, also how Dangerous and Hard it was for them to stand up for their Rights as an American Citizen.

One Scene which is Hard to Watch is when the Main Character Henry is walking in to work only to be Beaten by a Group of White People because he wants to Vote, the Boss sits in his Office and acts as if nothing is Happening, then when the Cop shows up the Boss claims it was all Henry's fault and has him Arrested.

Another upsetting scene has got to be when Henry's Younger Brother is being picked on by two White Children, the Young Boy stands up for himself only to be taken away by his Mother and Spanked. When Henry tells her to stop it and she lets him go, Henry's Mother tells him that she wants to him to be Alive and grow up and not see him Die like her Husband.

It Scenes like this which show us how Terrifying and Stressful it must have been for Black Familes to live in a Country where everyone is told they are Equal and that they are allowed to experience the American Dream.

Plot:

Henry is a Painter in 1948, one day while Painting the Office for his Boss he sees the Preacher and another Black Man getting themselves Registered to Vote by the Reluacnat Boss. On his way Home he talks with the Preacher who asks him to Regester, Henry explains that he doesn't want to risk losing his Job and everything he has. Henry then returns home to his Mother and Brother where he then goes off and washes his Face, meanwhile outside his Young Brother is arguing with two White Children. After insulting the Young Girl his Mother takes him away and Punishes him for Standing up for Himself, Henry tells his Mother to stop. After talking with her, Henry goes in to see his Little Brother and they go Fishing.

While Fishing, Henry sees something in the Distance and takes a look only to discover that the Preacher is Dead. The Next Day, Henry goes to work and tells the Boss that he wants to Regester to Vote. His Boss denies him Permission to Regester so Henry waits outside the Office.

Henry returns to the Office only to be Surrounded and Beaten by a Group of White People, a Cop shows up after the Beating and Arrests Henry. When Henry returns Home his Mother begs him to stop what he's doing but Henry wants to stand his Ground and make a Differnce.

Overview:

If you can find this Short Film then I recommend watching it to Learn and Relise how Much of a Struggle it was for Black People to Live in a Society where Most White People were Ignorant Racists.

Shogun Assassin (1980)

Pales in comparison to the Original six Kozure Okami films.

[5/10 · 19 July 2009]

Shogun Assassin (1980)

Directed by Robert Houston

Written by: Robert Houston & David Weisman

Review:

Kozure Okami (Lone Wolf and Cub) is a well known Manga series that was first published in the 1970's that told the Story of a Shogunate Executioner who one day returns home to find his Wife and entire Household murdered by the Shadow Yagyu Clan. Ogami Itto; discovers that his Baby son Daigoro managed to survive. Framed by having a Funeral Tablet with the Shogun's Crest on it Ogami Itto; decides to have his Revenge on the Shadow Yagyu with his Son bu his side, Ogami Itto; and Daigoro becomes Demons walking the Crossroads to Hell, they become the Lone Wolf and Cub.

During the 70's the Kozure Okami Manga series was Adapated into six popular Samuria movies that had a similar style to the Legendary Zatoichi series.

Then in 1980 David Weisman who was a fan of the Kozure Okami movies obtained the rights to the films from the American Office of Toho Studios for $50,000. David Weisman and Robert Houston then took Lone Wolf and Cub: Sword of Vengeance and Lone Wolf and Cub: Babycart at the River Styx and spliced them together by using 12 minutes from the first film and the rest from the second film.

One thing that Shogun Assassin does is dumb down the Story and Character Devoplment just to focus on the Violence which is a little bit disappointing.

The Dubbing and Narration by Daigoro is Cheesy while the Music at times doesn't really fit with the Film and the Editing is slightly messy.

Plot:

Ogami Itto decides to rebel against the Shogun after they Murder his Wife, travelling through Japan with his Son the Lone Wolf and Cub wipe out anyone who tries to stop them.

Lone Wolf and Cub are assigned to kill The Shogun's Masters of Death, three Brothers who kill anyone who stands in the Shogun's way.

Ninja's hired by the Shogun try to Assassinate the Lone Wolf and Cub but are quickly sliced apart by his Blade but not without badly injuring him. Daigoro helps his Dad regain his Stenght meanwhile the Shogun devise a plan to stop the Lone Wolf and Cub by kidnapping Daigoro.

The Ninja's successfully capture Daigoro, Ogami Itto finds his Son hanging above a well. Threatening to drop him Ogami Itto informs them that there both willing to Die, Daigoro is dropped into the well while Ogami Itto murders all the Oppnents except for the Female Ninja.

Talking his Son out the well the Two continue with their Journey to stop The Shogun and eliminate the deadly Masters of Death.

Overview:

Shogun Assassin is okay but when compared to the Original six Kozure Okaimi movies it pales in comparison but overall if you enjoy Cheesy Dubbed Movies full of non stop Violence and very little plot then you'll enjoy Shogun Assassin however if you've seen the six Kozure Okami movies then there's no real reason to watch Shogun Assassin. 5/10

First Blood (1982)

Good but the Novel is better

[7/10 · 31 May 2009]

First Blood (1982)

Directed by: Ted Kotcheff

Based on the Novel by: David Morrell

Screenplay by: Michael Kozoll & William Sackheim and Sylvester Stallone

Review:

The Novel which First Blood is loosely based on is defiantly one of the Greatest Thriller's I've ever read, it's a interesting manhunt which is told through the Point of view of Rambo and Teasle as the two hunt after each other in the Woods and then finally in the Town. During this hunt the book also describes Rambo trying to survive as the National Guard, Police and Hunters try to capture him Dead or Alive.

The Novel is much more darker and gorier than the film, the Character of Rambo in the book is more unstable and kills a lot of people while in the movie Rambo only kills one person while wounding others. The Novel explains more of Rambo's back-story before he went into Vietnam and also explains in detail the struggle Rambo had inside the POW camp and how he escaped. When you read the book you know Rambo isn't a Action Hero but instead a Troubled Young Veteran trying to survive as he's being forced back into violence.

The Character of Teasle in the book does give Rambo a hard time and is persistent is getting Rambo, the book also goes into more detail with his past and with his personal life, the relationship between Teasle and Orval in more explained in the book showing that Orval was like a Father figure for Teasle since his real Dad was killed in a Hunting accident.

The Character Sam Trautman doesn't have the same relationship with Rambo like he does in the film.

The Ending in the Novel is another big difference from the film.

My only real grip with the film is that they should have made it closer to the book, other than that the film is a entertaining Action/Thriller that shows how one man must survive against a whole army using the skills he developed in Vietnam, the film also shows how frustrating it was for Vietnam Veterans when they came back from the War.

The Soundtrack for First Blood is great and really sets the mood for the film.

The acting is great, Sylvester Stallone does a excellent job as the mentally unstable Veteran Rambo. The speech he gives at the end although a little hard to understand especially when he starts crying is so true to what it was like. Richard Crenna is great as Sam Trautman, he has that caring and empowering Father like figure especially when he finally meets Rambo again. Brain Denhey does a great job as the Sheriff determined to get Rambo, it just would have been nice if they made him more like the Tease in the novel.

The scenery in the movie is stunning to look at and the Action is thrilling and exciting.

Plot:

When Young and Rugged veteran John Rambo goes to see his War buddy he sadly discovers that he's passed away, travelling along the the highway Rambo enters a small Town. Drifting through the town Sheriff Will Teasle stops Rambo and offers to take him out the Town, driving him out Rambo decides to go back. Teasle sees Rambo coming back so he arrests him, in the Police Station Rambo starts giving the Police a hard time by refusing to talk to them, have them file his Finger Prints and cooperate.

After being cleaned up the Police go to shave him, having a Flashback of the Vietnam War Rambo fights his way out the Station, jumps on a Motorcycle and escapes to the Woods.

Teasle and a few others go into the woods to try and apprehend him but soon find themselves being hunted by Rambo.

Rambo lets Teasle go unharmed, after a while the National Guard is called in to stop Rambo. It's then that Teasle meets Sam Trautman, Rambo's mentor who offers to help them get him.

It soon becomes a fight for survival as Rambo uses his Skills to try and get out the Area before the National Guards and various Hunters find him and stop him.

Overview:

The First Blood Novel is definitely better but the film is a entertaining 80's Action/Thriller that introduced the Legendary Action Hero John Rambo to the movie going public. Check both the Novel and the Film out to see how different they both are.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

A Classic 80's Slasher

[10/10 · 22 May 2009]

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Written and Directed by Wes Craven

Review:

Although Freddy Kruger is now well known as being a Comical Slasher Icon who kills Teenagers in their Dreams while giving out one-liners back in 1984 Freddy Kruger was different. He was a Scary and Creepy Character that went around killing Teenagers in their Dreams without saying any one-liners.

The Character was darker in A Nightmare on Elm Street for example when you see Freddy Kruger (Or Fred Kruger as he's called in this film) you get a sense of fear and dread as he moves in for the kill because you know he's not going to do anything silly, you know he's not going to say some one-liner like "How's this for a wet Dream?" Freddy Kruger's just going to kill the Teenager but before that he's going to tease them, torment them and even gross them out by doing things like cutting his Fingers off or slicing his Chest open.

Robert Englund gives a great creepy performance as Freddy Kruger, John Saxon does a great job as the caring Dad, Heather Langenkamp gives a great job as the Heroine Nancy who must become tough in order to survive her Dreams. The acting for the rest of cast is good and features a young Johnny Depp playing as Nancy's boyfriend.

The music for this movie is creepy and atmospheric.

The make-up effects are great and gore is satisfying.

Plot:

When a young Teenager named Tina keeps having recurring Dreams of a mysterious man in a Sweater and Hat wielding a Glove with Blades on she tells her friends about it. That night Tina has a sleepover, there she discovers that Nancy had the a similar Dream which involved the Mysterious Man.

Later that night Tina falls asleep and encounters the Mysterious Man again, unable to awaken from her Nightmare Tina is sliced up by the Mysterious Man. The Police believe it was Tina's boyfriend, when captured by the Cops, Nancy asks him what happened. When he tells her that he had a Dream about the same man Nancy starts to suspect something is not quite right in Elm Street, after several more encounters with the Dream Stalker Nancy manages to Pull his Hat out the Dream. There she learns that the Killer's name is Fred Kruger and after a talk with her Mother she discovers his origins and understands why he's killing the Teenagers of Elm Street to get back at the Parents who burnt him to death. Nancy decides that the only way to stop Fred Kruger is to pull him out the Dream world and then kill him, but can she succeed or will Fred Kruger get the upper-hand.

Overview:

A Nightmare on Elm Street is a great 80's Slasher movie that should be seen, check it out and be surprised to see a more Darker and Serious Freddy Kruger. 10/10

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

One of the best sequels ever made

[10/10 · 30 March 2009]

Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Directed by: James Cameron

Written by: James Cameron & William Wisher Jr

Review:

The Terminator, one of the most memorable sci-fi masterpieces ever made.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day, one of the memorable sequels ever made and like it's predecessor it's a sci-fi masterpiece.

With a higher budget and with more special effects Writer/Director James Cameron took his low budget sci-fi classic and turned it into a big budget Hollywood blockbuster with his 1991 box office smash sequel Terminator 2: Judgment Day.

The film features some of the best special effects for the 90's and I must say even though CGI has been improved the effects in this movie still look impressive just like with James Cameron's other movie The Abyss.

The music in this movie is truly beautiful, it's compelling, saddening and exciting. The final scene of the movie is a great example of how powerful the soundtrack for this movie really is.

The acting is alright, Arnold Schwarzenegger does a great job as the New Terminator unit, Linda Hamilton does a good performance as Sarah Connor. It's interesting to see how different her character has become over the years. Edward Ferlong is alright has John Connor and Robert Patrick is definitely convincing as the deadly T-1000.

The action is entertaining and will satisfy any violence lover.

Plot:

11 years after the events of The Terminator, SkyNet send a newer and more dangerous Terminator into the Past, this time to murder the leader of the human resistance, John Connor while he's still a child.

The Human Resistance fight back by sending their own Soldier back in time to protect the young John Connor, however this time it's not a human but another Terminator.

After escaping from the T-1000, the T-101 and John Connor set off to rescue his mother Sarah who's being held in a mental hospital before the T-1000 shows up, kills her and copies her form. Showing up the T-101 and John Connor find Sarah and quickly escape as the T-1000 pursues after them.

Hiding out somewhere Sarah Connor discovers who created the SkyNet Super Computer and sets off to kill him and change history. The T-101 and John Connor arrive at the house and find Sarah, Miles and his family. Telling him about what will happen if he creates the SkyNet Computer he decides to help them get the Arm and Chip from the previous T-101 unit and dispose of them thus preventing the War between Man and Machine.

Overall:

Terminator 2: Judgment Day is a great sequel that should be seen and just like The Godfather Part II and Aliens it's a prime example of how to make a great sequel.

Check this film out. 10/10