erikghost Reviews

Somebodys There (2015)

The Pigman Murders Review

[29 December 2015]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

In The Pigman Murders seven friends hike to the Connamara mountains in Ireland with a hired cameraman in tow to film a documentary to give to the family of a friend who died from stomach cancer a year earlier. The movie is a found footage piece that combines elements of The Blair Witch Project and The Hills Have Eyes.

We don't find out enough about the friends or their background to really sympathize with them when the attacks start to happen. Basically, we see them for a few moments meeting each other after not having seen each other for a long time before they take off for the wilderness where they talk on camera about their friendship with their fallen friend and give a message to the family.

After tensions rise while on the trip between a few of the friends they stumble upon a man who's badly beaten who tells them about some killers in pig masks who killed his girlfriend. The masked men also took one of the friends' own so they each go off in their own direction to look for him.

The friends start getting killed one by one. We don't really see the killings, only the aftermath. The pigmen also aren't seen all that much until the end of the film, but there's sound effects of pig grunts and snorting. There is one creepy scene where one of the masked men is seen only for a brief second through night vision. We don't find out why the masked men are in the wilderness which is kind of frustrating. We would like to know why a group of three men in pig masks are hanging out in the wilderness just waiting for people to kill.

The movie never really builds up any suspense and there doesn't seem to be much of a story arc. After a slow beginning to the film the killings just happen suddenly with no explanation. We weren't impressed with The Pigman Murders, but if you're into movies like Motel Hell where people kill dressed in a pig mask you might want to check it out.

Caesar and Otto's Paranormal Halloween (2015)

Caesar and Otto's Paranormal Halloween Review

[5/10 · 29 December 2015]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

Last night we were going to watch a supposedly ultraviolent found footage film called the "Pigman Murders", but we opted for much lighter fare so we decided to pop in Caesar and Otto's Paranormal Halloween, a horror/comedy. We never had heard of this Laurel and Hardy type duo, but they had made a few previous films.

Paranormal Halloween is one of those movies where after about fifteen to twenty minutes you don't know if you should keep it on or turn it off. We decided to keep watching and before we knew it the movie was over, which to us is a sign that we actually enjoyed it. We don't know if it was the hot women or all the cameo appearances, but it was able to keep our attention. Is it a quality movie? No. In fact, we would rate it only a few levels above films made by Troma. Of course Troma is known for making super low budget and extremely campy movies. The special effects in Paranormal activity are mostly CGI and very low-tech and the few scenes of gore are extremely over-the-top. This definitely isn't a movie that will appeal to hardcore horror fans unless they're looking for a cheap version of a film like "Scary Movie". Should or review be taken negatively? No. In fact we would recommend the movie if you're looking for a horror/comedy.

Half-brothers Caesar (Dave Campfield) and Otto (Paul Chomicki) are homeless and living in a car with their father. Caesar has been dressing up as a woman so that he could earn money as a babysitter. While babysitting at one house they see a news report about a escaped mental patient named Michael Miles who is an obvious knock-off of Michael Myers who has killed some guards. He returns to his home which is where Caesar and Otto are staying. After nearly getting murdered by the killer, Caesar and Otto's dad accidentally runs over Miles killing him.

The governor sees them as heroes and give them a key to the city which is actually a key to his summer home. Needing a place to stay, Caesar ignores the stories of tragic events that happened in the past in the home and he along with Otto and their father decided to be caretakers for the house. Weird things start happening such as objects levitating with activity increasing the closer it gets to Halloween. Otto believes that his mother, whom his father told him killed herself is actually alive and goes on a search for her. This leads all three on a paranormal adventure that takes different directions and has several subplots.

The movie is funny at times, but at others it's obvious they tried so hard to get laughs which actually seems to backfire. The three main characters, Campfield, Chomicki, and Scott Aguilar have a good on screen chemistry which leads to mostly laughs, but there are some scenes which seem somewhat awkward. All the cameos gave a solid performance, but there weren't any there were specifically noteworthy.

The movie parodies everything from Halloween and Insidious to the Shining and Paranormal Activity. Once you get into the movie you'll find it enjoyable unless you're looking for something especially scary or violent.

Krampus (I) (2015)

Krampus Review: Beware of Santa's Dark Shadow

[7/10 · 29 December 2015]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

Krampus starts off with a stereotypical scene of a mob rushing into a big box store on what appears to be a big sale only to be seen tearing items away from each other and fighting over the merchandise while Bing Crosby's "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas" is heard over the speakers. Meanwhile, preteen Max (Emjay Anthony) is engaged in a fight during a passion play because he's upset that a bully is telling the first grade kids that Santa isn't real.

Max's gun and football loving uncle Howard (David Koechner) and aunt Linda (Allison Tolman) come to Max's father, Tom (Adam Scott) and mother Sarah's (Toni Collete) house for the holiday with their chubby children (Maverick Flack, Queenie Samuel and Lolo Owen) and old alcoholic Aunt Dorothy (Conchata Ferrell). The children steal a letter that Max has written to Santa Claus and ridicule him. Max, who just wants things to be the way they used to be between his parents and who hasn't exactly been a good child the past year in a moment of being upset goes to his bedroom, rips up the letter and throws it out the window.

All of sudden there's a blizzard and all the lights in the neighborhood go out. The set dressing with a palette of whites and grays will really chill you even in a warm theater. Max's sister Beth (Stefania LaVie Owen) leaves the house to check on her boyfriend. After not arriving back home when she was expected a concerned Tom and Howard go looking for her. Howard is attacked by something that crawls under the snow.

When they get back to the house, Beth still missing, Max's wise old grandmother Omi (Krista Stadler) who speaks in German tells everyone about a mythical creature who is the shadow of Santa Claus who come when children are naughty and/or have lost the meaning of Christmas. The childhood story of her being visited by Krampus is a nice interlude done in animation.

Director Michael Dougherty (Trick 'R Treat) seems to have taken some inspiration from both Gremlins and Poltergeist. Once again, like Sam from Trick 'R Treat, Dougherty has created an almost likable protagonist. Soon Krampus's minions invade the home and attack. True horror fans might not find the film that scary, but scenes of gingerbread men attacking with a nail gun and a giant, child-eating Jack in the Box are definitely entertaining. Eventually the family is even attacked by proverbial evil elves.

Krampus is not seen much in the movie until the end, but when he is he moves either under the snow or by jumping around rooftops. The film relies more on puppetry and costumes rather than CGI.

A Pagan-like sacrifice leaves it up to Max to regain the spirit of Christmas to save his family. The ending is sentimental and may remind you of other Christmas favorites such as "Home Alone". There's different interpretations of how the movie ends, but we don't want to give any spoilers. We were thoroughly entertained by the movie and would definitely recommend it.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Jedi Review (Spoilers)

[9/10 · 29 December 2015]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

Director JJ Abrams has crafted a masterpiece with the latest installment of Star Wars titled The Force Awakens. As soon as the film started with the proverbial scrolling verbiage the crowd broke into applause and we immediately got chills. The movie is one of the finest stories we've ever seen and Abrams working of it has all the actors at the top of their game and leaves no detail missing.

Each time familiar faces appeared such as Han Solo, Chewbacca, C-3PO, R2D2 and Princess Leia goosebumps appeared although we've never been the biggest Star Wars fans. We've seen all the installments, but never collected the toys or went to the conventions.

Once again, the score by John Williams is brilliant. The cinematography is also stellar as is the editing and sound design. We were amazed with what they were able to pull off. We saw the movie in Real 3D and felt like we were immersed in an epic space battle.

In the film Luke Skywalker is missing after being betrayed by one of his Jedi students. It's up to newcomers Ray (Daisy Ridley), Stormtrooper turncoat Finn (John Boyega), pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) along with Han Solo and Chewbacca to complete a puzzle with one of the pieces being transported by new droid BB-8, one of the cutest things we've ever seen, that will lead them to Luke Skywalker's whereabouts all while trying to save the galaxy from The Darkside.

The Darkside has eerily similarities to The New World Order even being called The First Order, while the "good guys" are called The Resistance. Han Solo and Princess Leia's son Kylo Ren has joined The Darkside and wants to walk in the footsteps of Darth Vader. This can be compared to the fact that many people think Isis is government funded. In one scene The General of The Darkside gives a speech similar to Hitler with the Stormtroopers even giving a kind of Sieg Heil salute. The Stormtroopers were kidnapped by their families when they were young and brainwashed and trained to become super soldiers. That is reminiscent of the government mind-control programs that took place mainly in the 70's in such projects as The Montauk Project. The Darkside even attempts to create a superweapon that features a particle blaster harnessing the power of the sun. To us that sounds a little too similar to CERN. Even the title of the film "The Force Awakens" can be linked to humanity having a new awakening.

Conspiracies aside, writers Lawrence Kasdan, Michael Arndt and Abrams have created a story that immediately has become one of our favorites. This is one of the most solid casts we have ever seen. Of course, all the oldtimers are amazing and Rey (Daisy Ridley) gives a standout performance as she discovers and learns to use her new Jedi powers. We fell in love with BB-8 and would definitely love him to be under the Christmas tree. The scenery and set design also kept our eyes glued to the screen and end of the movie once again gave us chills and led us to think that we can't wait for the next installment.

The House on Pine Street (2015)

Are There Ghosts in the House on Pine Street

[7/10 · 29 December 2015]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

Aaron and Austin Keeling have created a creepy and atmospheric haunted house movie with "The House on Pine Street". In the movie, seven months pregnant Jennifer (Emily Goss) has moved to a Kansas house with her husband Luke (Taylor Bottles) which is a step up from their apartment in suburban Chicago. It turns out the move was facilitated by Jennifer's overbearing mother Meredith (Cathy Barnett) who wants Luke to do more with his life than be a bartender and wants the baby to be born in a more rural environment. Meredith imposes herself by throwing a housewarming party and inviting her own friends including Walter (Jim Korinke) a so-called psychic who states that the house has weird energy. Absent from the party is Jennifer's friend Lauren (Natalie Pellegrini).

Jennifer receives weird stares from the people in the neighborhood as if they're holding a secret. She starts to experience weird events in the house such as seeing someone in the bathroom, having the crockpot lid move on its own and hearing weird noises coming from the attic. The film was shot in an 1800's house that is supposedly actually haunted and the cinematography uses the environment to perfection. Jump scares aren't something you'll find in this movie, but rather a slow buildup and tension.

When Lauren comes to visit the house we're introduced to her toddler son who is very creepy. He stares and talks to only something he can see. Experiencing paranormal events herself Jennifer is very concerned and her and Lauren hold a seance. Things only get worse but Luke and Meredith think that Jennifer is going crazy and having a mental breakdown. Jennifer didn't want to leave Chicago and isn't happy that she's having the baby. In fact we find out that she tried to self abort.

Emily Goss portrays Jennifer with a genuine feel that makes you empathize for the character. You're left wondering if she's really going crazy of if the house is actually haunted.

American Backwoods: Slew Hampshire (2013)

American Backwoods: Slew Hampshire Review

[4/10 · 29 December 2015]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

In American Backwoods, four months after one of the most brutal slaughters happened in American history, four friends, Kid (Jeremy Isabella), Dude-Guy (Tyler Rice), Buddy (Shawn Thomas) and Bro (Dayo Okeniyi – The Hunger Games and Terminator: Genisys) travel from New Hampshire to the Canadian border to visit a private strip club in a rite of passage after a party they were to attend gets raided. They never make it to their destination after their car spins out and Officer Girth (Matt Hish) deems it unsafe to continue. The four friends are then taken captive and what ensues is a violent film filled with gore and violent scenes of rape.

With everything going on the movie is somewhat hard to follow so viewers must pay attention to all the subtleties and undertones. Director/writer Flood Reed has created an ultriovelent film that covers several topics spanning from mythology and horror to comedy. He even has a few scenes in the film. The scenes of gore seem more high budget using practical effects. Once the movie kicks into high gear it may offend and repulse but it offers a little for everyone. The only thing we didn't like was the complexity of the movie as we like our horror films to flow more smoothly and not have to try to peel back confusing layers.

Hole (II) (2010)

Hole Review

[6/10 · 29 December 2015]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

In Hole, convicted serial killer Ed Kunkle (Ed Respass) is dealing with personal demons brought on by a childhood of abuse at the hands of his mother who tied him up to a chair in a shed and forced him to witness "the conjugal rite" between her and her husband. His mother tells him that he doesn't need to believe in God or Jesus and that if he doesn't do his chores such as taking out the trash he'll be sent to a foster home. Fed up with the abuse he decides to kill his mom.

Now as an adult, Ed is abducting women with blonde hair, the same color hair as his mom and taking them to the shed which is now filled with rotted heads, skeletons, fingers and other body parts where he ties them up and then kills them with a mallet. The demons in his head cause him to commit the killings as he's tormented by his past and the voices in his head. His parole office sends him to see a priest named Father Michael (Dennis Haggard) who tells Ed that he needs to be responsible for the choices he makes in life. Meanwhile detective Bodie Jamison (Jim Barile) who's also working with Ed is having nightmares of Ed killing him in the shed.

Ed's friend and single mom Eve Adams (Teem Lucas) is dealing with the kidnapping and gruesome murder of her baby. Eve, Ed and Bodie's lives all become intertwined as the three of them have to deal with personal nightmares.

The film deals with childhood trauma, abuse, religion and grief. We're surprised that the film only received a 5.5 rating on IMDb as it was well written and everyone gave a stellar performance, especially the character of Ed who we're able to witness his sadistic side and struggles, while at the same time empathizing with him for his abuse, loneliness and glimpses of compassion. The only thing we were a little confused about was the ending.

Rest in peace Ed Respass who died in 2014

Hans Crippleton Talk to the Hans (2014)

Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans Review

[5/10 · 29 December 2015]

Without a shadow of a doubt this has to be the worst movie we have ever seen. It was so bad that we couldn't help but to watch it the whole way through. A family of genetically defected rednecks (through inbreeding) called the Crippletons who live on land that gets invaded by zombies every October due to a curse does an interview that spans the length of the movie on a fictional show called Horror Haunt. The title character Hans is a haunted attraction expert who garners publicity because of his odd appearance including his one very small and deformed hand. In fact, all the members of the family have some type of deformity with the low-tech makeup and prosthetics making them look like Muppets. There's also a doctor (we couldn't tell if he was part of the family or a friend) who has a manufactured eye that takes photographs who sews people back together all anatomically wrong. Momma Crippleton who has trouble getting up from the couch because of her obesity is given a gift to help her so she doesn't have to get up as much which is basically a rotted head with a leg attached.

Trouble ensues when Hans is bitten by one of the zombies and is is told he can no longer tour the country because of the danger of the spreading the infections. He is the moneymaker in the family, with the families moonshine business not viable enough to pay the bills. It's up to Hans and his family to solve the curse so that they can get things back to normal (or abnormal).

There were moments of comedy in the film. I actually found myself laughing out loud a couple of times even though I was watching the movie alone. The special effects are horrible with the zombies looking like characters from a high school haunted house. There's even a scene where the proverbial group of adventure seekers who know about the cursed farm go looking for a thrill and run into the zombies. Rather than being scared, one of the girls comments, "My grammar school could put on a better haunt than this". Hans Crippleton: Talk to the Hans makes Poultrygeist look like a Steven Spielberg film. The movie actually got a 6.8 out of 10 on IMDb which actually isn't that bad for the kind of movie. There's some text that pops up on the screen occasionally as well as a few cartoon scenes of the zombies interspersed between the live action which make the movie progress a little better than it otherwise would. If you're looking for a quality movie or something scary we wouldn't be able to recommend this film, but if you're looking for something campy or a pseudo horror film with some elements of comedy you might want to check it out.

The Cohasset Snuff Film (2012)

Meet Serial Killer Collin Mason in The Cohasset Snuff Film

[9/10 · 31 January 2013]

Review by Golden State Haunts and Events

"The Cohasset Snuff Film" is raw film making at its best. There are no Hollywood special effects or camera tricks typical of most horror films. Instead the movie plays it straight like a documentary. It is currently premiering at major cities across the US. Film goers will get to see the infamous film that accomplishes what it sets out to be.

The controversial film takes you into the mind of 17 year old high school serial killer Collin Mason. Mason says that he know the difference between right and wrong but "doesn't care". That becomes apparent from the moment we first see him and he plans his "masterpiece", a documented series of killings that he's filming as part of the yearbook committee. Obviously his committee teammates don't know what he's up to until Collin finishes "the story".

Director Edward Payson created what's sure to be an underground hit by making an intriguing film that makes one sympathize for the victims and question the motives of the killer. The interspersed interviews seen between the murders really makes viewers feel like they're somehow part of the story. "The Cohasset Snuff Film" is authentic film making that has you question some elements of society and delves into the psychology of what makes some people do the things they do.

We recently saw the movie at its world premiere and didn't know exactly what to expect. As the movie progressed we realized this wasn't going to be your typical "lost tape" movie. The film doesn't take you on a roller coaster ride or keep you on the edge of your seat. Instead it has more of an "art house" feel and is a contemporary study of the human psyche. We enjoyed the film for its simplicity and reality and feel it has the potential to be a sleeper hit. "The Cohassett Snuff Film" is one of the top five independent horror films we've seen this year.