[e-mail] Reviews

Life (I) (1999)

A Prison Riot

[9/10 · 28 December 2004]

"Life" features the comic greatness of Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence, along with many other rising talents, in a comedy about two innocent, cantankerous Harlem-ites who are framed for a grisly murder in Mississippi circa the Depression, and find themselves incarcerated for life in an exceptionally hysterical, and sometimes endearing, film. "Mis-matched from the ghet-co", Ray Gibson and Claude Banks (Murphy and Lawrence, respectively) spend some "hard time" getting to know, detest, and finally, love, one another, while befriending fellow inmates Willie Long (the narrator), Jangle Leg (a riotous Bernie Mac), Biscuit, Goldmouth, "Can't Get Right" and others, and combating against the brutal (yet inane) prison system, while undertaking several schemes of escape. "Life" is sometimes hilarious, sometimes somber, sometimes nostalgic, and always entertaining. The comedic duo of Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence is nothing short of sheer casting dynamite, and both comedians deliver some of their finest roles here. It's rife with whimsical southern dialect ("You go eat your cornbread?; "I da pappy"; etc.) and Eddie Murphy's raucous personality translates perfectly here ("Anyone mess around with me, it's gon' be consequences and repercussions!"); this is perhaps the most hysterical and amusing dialog ever written for a "southern comedy". Also worth commending is the exquisitely perfect makeup work of Rick Baker: Murphy and Lawrence as feuding "old folks"- only Baker could achieve such an infeasible task! "Life" is a genuinely hilarious, if conventional and clichéd, comedy, which delivers supremely on laughs, character development, and solid entertainment. See it for Murphy and Lawrence, if for nothing else. ***1/2 out of ****

Meet the Fockers (2004)

The Prudes meet the Perverts

[6/10 · 28 December 2004]

"Meet the Fockers" is a semi-jovial, semi-obscene (and surprisingly crude) followup to its 2000 hilarious predecessor. While "Parents" featured the ungainly, hapless Greg (Stiller) taking pains to impress his soon-to-be in-laws the Byrnes (De Niro and Danner) with disastrous results, "Fockers" concentrates on the hysterical escapades of Greg and Pam's seemingly opposite parents: the Byrnes are prudent, stealthy, and leery, while the Fockers are, well... overzealous, excessively perverted, and free-spirited sunshiners; sounds like additional catastrophe for a Focker-Byrnes reunion! The Fockers (Dustin Hoffman, Barbra Streisand) enjoy partying and sexual innuendo, while the Byrnes (and mostly Jack) strive to familiarize an innocuous baby boy to the complexities and mendacities of the real world. So ensues a sometimes amusing, if frothy and sexually obscene(from the director of "Austin Powers"!), which never quite achieves the shrewd "comic scenarios" that made its predecessor such an outrageous hit. It's a more zany and feudal affair, yet not necessarily laugh-out-loud hilarious. At times the Fockers Dustin Hoffman and Barbra Streisand are more of an annoyance than a comedic relief, their propensities rife with the typical Hollywood overload of sexual innuendos and philosophical condescension, and I found their natures to be misplaced for a different genre of comedy other than an otherwise promising "in-laws fiasco". I would have rather enjoyed seeing these couples collide culturally and ethically, rather than the Fockers discussing their egregious intimate details at the table and around the house! Note to Mike Roach and writer John Hamburg: the original's premise of "I'm watching you" and "Who's outwitting who" was plenty more hilarious than "I'll give you a massage" and "keep the hat on the door when you're getting it on". There are moments of jovial comedy, ironically when DeNiro and Stiller are butting heads once again, with DeNiro determined to undermine and ruin his "unworthy atrocity of a son-in-law"; the height of comedy is where DeNiro injects a truth-telling serum into Stiller and Stiller finds himself on stage making rabid confessions. My favorite character here is of course, Jack Byrnes, every guy's worst nightmare for a father-in-law, constantly intimidating and threatening, planting hidden cameras around the house, and investigating personal background searches to destroy any chances you may have with his precious daughter- and DeNiro is exceedingly brilliant in this part. "Meet the Fockers" is a comedy which perhaps attempts to overdo its ingenious predecessor in expanding its resources beyond the diligent cleverness and compatibility that propelled "Parents" in injecting a trashy sexual joke or two into a perfectly effective mix of humor. It entertains not when Hoffman (whose character, all things considered, is good-natured) and Streisand (to me, a contemptible character) "get it on" both verbally and physically, but rather, when we realize that the Byrnes and the Fockers are virtually incompatible, and the ex-CIA (Central Un-intelligent Agency, according to Bernie Focker) watchdog Jack Byrnes declares, "I'm not so sure this wedding is a good idea. I don't like what I'm seeing from these Fockers." All-in-all, a comedy that tries too hard to achieve unnecessary hilarity and spoils a perfectly entertaining and hysterical premise, yet still supplying some moments of the jovial genius that was the premise of "Meet the Parents". Maybe the third installment should be "Meet the Kids" or "Meet the Dogs"... or perhaps the premise is expired enough. **1/2 out of ****

Mr. Deeds (2002)

Formulaic Sandler Romp

[3/10 · 16 December 2004]

"Mr. Deeds" features the "versatile comic genius" of Adam Sandler as a countryside rube who somehow inherits $60 billion from his estranged uncle ("I didn't know I had an uncle")'s will, and travels to the Big Apple to tangle with ruthless city slickers and corporate thieves out to bereave him of his fortunes. In a film that is rife with bland formula (lowly innocent receives fortune, spends as he pleases, hires eccentric, yet amiable butler, meets girl, falls in love, discovers she only digs him for her profession and his money, loses fortune to villain (Peter Gallagher), reclaims fame and fortune through emotionally connecting to avaricious board members, falls back in love, is a renowned hero and stud), it's unlikely your going to admire this film for originality, or even charm, for this is simply an enticing concept executed with a bland formula that is hardly buoyed by the dismal acting of Sandler and Wyona Ryder, and certainly lacks any wit and ingenuity in its screenplay. To keep it pithy, "Mr. Deeds" is about as original and charming as white plaster on a wall. And it even exhausts itself of decent material after awhile, an awfully indolent flow of ideas, if you ask me! Despite his noble intentions, couldn't Deeds spend more of his billions on whims rather than charity (hey, it's supposed to be an amusing comedy, and what's the fun in seeing a "regular billionaire"?). Yet, for all of its many deficiencies, there are some bearable elements to be found here. The scenes with the butler (John Tuturro) are fairly amusing (especially when he hammers Deeds' peculiar foot), and are the comedic height of the film. Hey, even the scene with Deeds outfoxing the Wall Street tycoons in the end is, only a few $billion short of inspiring. Yet, most of "Mr. Deeds" is rife with formula, cloying gags, implausibility, and is essentially a typical Sandler circus, featuring (you guessed it) many of his costars from previous films. I have yet to view the original 1939 classic from which this drek is inspired, yet I am certain this is a travesty of a classic concept in comparison with that film. If you enjoy routine Sandler humor, Sandler material, Sandler formula, and Sandler resolutions, then you'll find this comedy "delightfully funny". For anyone else, this is simply a cinematic ally and intellectually "bankrupt" billionaire romp with few moments of appraisal and interest. Avoid "Mr. Deeds"; see the original instead: I'm sure it is leaps and bounds better than this! *1/2 out of ****

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)

"Honest" Politician Saves the Day

[9/10 · 16 December 2004]

"Mr. Smith Goes To Washington" is chiefly about the right and duty of every American to stand tenaciously for their beliefs, for the truth, and for their defense. Jimmy Stewart plays a naive, yet gentle-hearted and popular icon named Jefferson Smith who realizes that the political office can be effective and reverent if it operates solely for the people, rather than "grash" or entrenched special interests. Selected by Virginia political bigshot Jim Taylor (who influences every affair in state, from the political landscape to the savage press, and in turn Gov. Hubert Hopper) to succeed a perished senator, Mr. Smith goes to Washington oblivious as to the sordid and ruthless operation of Congress, and merely remarks how he is stupefied by the glory of the Capitol Building, enthralled by a visit to the Lincoln Monument, greatly reveres his colleague, Senator Joseph Paine, and wants to perform only the best for the citizens of his state. An exceedingly nervous and modest fellow (perhaps not entirely apt for brutal Senate speech and debate), when he meets Senator Paine's gorgeous daughter, he fondles with his hat and occasionally drops it to the ground, which gives the viewer the distinct idea that if he hasn't the backbone to regularly converse with an attractive woman, then how can he possibly survive the trials and hardships of the United States Senate. His secretary, Clarissa Saunders, initially doesn't believe in his "superficial modesty", yet is later captivated by his poetic innocence and honesty and assists him in creating propositions and offering advice, while secretly falling head over heels for him. During his first day in Congress, Smith trembles relentlessly in presenting his case for the construction of a National Boy's Camp, and is scoffed and humiliated by 96 members of the Senate. It turns out that his noble aspirations may be in peril, when it is revealed that a dam will be constructed in the appropriated place of his idea. Thus ensues a heartwarming, hilarious, and incendiary confrontation between the innocuous, noble Mr. Smith and the rest of the corrupted U.S. Senate, including the notorious and sordid Jim Taylor, in a captivating look at how democracy and goodness prevails when honest, tenacious men stand their ground, stand up for their beliefs, and act impervious to any derision of their enterprise. It may be at times overly condescending, sentimental and somewhat politically pretentious and fantastic, but "Mr. Smith Goes To Washington" contains a noble statement about democracy and teaches us that it is "the lost causes that are worth fighting for". In Jefferson Smith, we see a hero, standing courageously, against all odds, for the honor and good will of representation. A fine and noble film indeed that is definitely a political classic. ***1/2 out of ****

Ocean's Twelve (2004)

The Gang's All Back, Taking Europe By "Ocean"!

[9/10 · 13 December 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "Ocean's Twelve" reunites Danny Ocean (George Clooney) and his previously assembled gang of peculiar thieves, by the name of Ocean's Eleven. It seems that their ruthless victim Terry Benedict (Andy Garcia) uncovered their doings and somehow all of their identities, and has a grudge against them along with an urgent threat: pay up or ship out. Thus ensues yet another ingenious scheme by Ocean's Eleven (this time around, as the title suggests, a "twelfth member", Tess Ocean (Julia Roberts) plays a somewhat dominant (and amusing) role in the plot), to rob a prized "golden egg" from a European museum, once again, a seemingly infeasible task which can only be perpetrated by the most cunning, collected, suave, and industrial of minds, as this gang has proved itself to be. A romantic interest for Rusty (Brad Pitt) with the luscious, yet officious Isabel Lahiri (Catherine Zeta-Jones), as well as a new nemesis known as the Night Fox, are just some of the new developments of this splendid crime caper franchise. With a less engineered and more liberated plot structure than its predecessor, "Ocean's Twelve" is not quite as sensational and rewarding, lacking much of the energy and originality, as well as character structure, where the original triumphed. Whereas the first heist was an elaborate, critical operation, the museum heist is more of an intricate game, a jigsaw (even in its logic) and practically a charade with the cunning and elusive Night Fox, and there is significantly less attention devoted to the actual heist than its perplexing, yet engaging, design. Although a few of "Ocean's Eleven" (now Twelve) play a more "central role" in the action (e.g. Linus (Damon) and Tess (Roberts), many of the characters are merely around for show and hardly serve a purpose in the actual heist. And speaking of the heist, the details to the "surprise ending" couldn't be detected by the keenest of observers, at least until the end, which can be either be a baffling and illogical excuse for a resolution, or an exceedingly clever plot structure, that marvelously pieces together every "invisible" detail of the heist as an explanation to how the gang "outfoxed" the Night Fox. Featuring the usual industrial, meticulous, and prudent direction of Steven Soderberg, whose gritty editing translates as pure energy to an exceedingly exciting premise, some fine and jovial acting from all of the leads, adept and subtle plot structure, and a very awesome and stimulating score, "Ocean's Twelve", while not quite equaling its excellent predecessor, is definitely a solid piece of high octane, feel-good, debonair entertainment, and it's enticing, exhilarating, and sexy- a must-see for fans of crime caper films and great escapist fare for the holiday season! ***1/2 out of ****

Minority Report (2002)

Splendid Visuals, Perplexing Story

[12 December 2004]

"Minority Report" features the typical science fiction innovation of over-the-top technology circa Steven Spielberg's vision of 2050 America: jumping scanners, perilous highway sectors, flying and tracking robots, booster rockets, and of course, advanced PreCrime technology that enables police officers to thwart homicides before they even occur and apprehend the suspect from committing the crime ever again. This system has been proved effective (not a single murder has occurred in the greater Washington D.C. area in several years), yet just when PreCrime is about to expand its divisions nationally, something horrible and seemingly irrevocable occurs: its chief official, John Anderton (Tom Cruise) is prognosticated to be the perpetrator of the murder of a complete stranger, Leo Crow, within 24 hours. Having recently lost his son to abduction, currently depressed with drugs and sobbing away at the memory of his "happy family", this recent development succeeds in devastating and enraging John Anderton. Thus ensues a ruthless chase by the system to apprehend a "certain, yet confused" suspect. John of course is bemused and frightened at this indictment of murder, and will stop at virtually nothing, dodging his former "allies against crime", altering parts of his body to elude security detectors, and abducting a primal "precog" (humans programmed to mind censors in pools to prognosticate murders) Agatha (Samantha Morton) to escape his captors and discover the truth behind his indictment in this mysterious and baffling murder. Rife with fascinating "who dunnit" scenarios, classic chase sequences, and plot contortions galore, yet featuring a perplexing and somewhat unresolved conclusion, "Minority Report" is an exceptional, if perplexing, piece of science fiction suspense that is entertaining, inquisitive, deceiving and wildly provocative. Spielberg's direction is remarkably stirring and subtle, and is orchestrated without much of his signature regard to sentimentality, but rather, criminality. Tom Cruise is attractive and menacing as John Anderton, as an innocent, yet perturbed fugitive on the lam sorting the pieces of PreCrime together. Colin Ferrell is sharp and engaging as the "villain" Witwer seeking to steal Anderton's position and capture him with malice and eagerness. "Minority Report" is an enjoyable and fascinating, if perplexing and disjointed, science fiction thriller that is entertaining through and through and a genuine thinking man's futuristic whodunnit. *** out of ****

Maid in Manhattan (2002)

Charming, Innocuous Fluff

[9 December 2004]

"Maid in Manhattan" doesn't disguise itself as a sophisticated journey into the delves of the romantic soul, nor does it even attempt to get its audience very acquainted with the reason behind the strange romance of an ambitious, dauntless maid (Jennifer Lopez) and a sympathetic, power-hungry politician (oxymoron!), yet presents a tale so harmless and occasionally enjoyable, that it can be received like a Cinderella fairy tale: a sugary (if tasteless) romantic comedy. Marisa Ventura (Lopez) is a maid in Manhattan (the titular character), with greater ambitions in life than her current position, and a precocious, curious son to care for. One day, in a "fantasy world of her own", Ventura tries on the dress of one of her prestigious guests, Caroline Lane, and, awstricken by starling politician Chris Marshall (Ralph Fiennes) fancying her in a lavish beauty, assumes her guest's identity and the maid and the politician stroll through the park and soonafter discover they are "magically in love". Remember, this premise shouldn't be taken seriously beyond a Disney fantasy: it's actually quite enjoyable watching the two elope when you disregard preconceptions about "stately romance". A fantastic, if frequently interrupted romance, ensues between the two, in a most conventional, and hardly capricious modern day fairy tale. The acting nods lack much chemistry, but the dialog between them is sufficient enough to compensate for the incredibility of the affair. "Maid in Manhattan", if not taken too seriously or critically, is at least a charming, innocuous love story featured in an exceedingly dazzling setting (perhaps I have a propensity for New York films), and despite being very implausible and entirely superficial, it is interesting and enjoyable enough to warrant a bordering recommendation, and the delightful Bob Hoskins alone provides enough grandeur to compensate for much of "Maid"'s deficiencies. *** out of ****

Mystic River (2003)

Somber Performances + Meticulous Direction = Heartfelt Tragedy

[8 December 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "Mystic River" delicately tells a somber tale of murder, suspicion, and betrayal, in chronicling three Boston boyhood friends (Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, Kevin Bacon) who are entangled in a web of turmoil and mixed emotions proceeding the tragic slaying of the former's daughter. Their worlds have shattered since the murder, and what bond they may have developed in childhood seems to have been breached, as friends become fiends and conversations become confrontations, in the search for the killer of Jimmy Markum (Penn)'s daughter. Enduring a tormented childhood, in having been abducted and apparently reformed ("I don't know who came out of that car, but it wasn't me"), Dave Boyle (Robbins) soon becomes chiefly suspect in the murder, as his countenance and demeanor seem to indict him with such a heinous enterprise with good suspicion. Thus ensues a somber study of grievance, trust, question, and ultimately, tragedy. Eastwood's powerful, meticulous direction and study of character (from Markum, Boyle, and Devine), to their respective love interests, to those earlier sore acquaintances who might have played a hand in the murder, through adept, clever, and human dialog, and an effective darkness of setting, supplying the dismal tone of the events at hand, along with the somber, remorseful, genuine performances (particularly by Penn and Robbins), makes "Mystic River" an odyssey of the abysmal worth embarking upon. It packs an effusive emotional punch in all of its efforts, and enables the audience to become engaged by literally everything the characters undergo, in this "Mystic River" of grievance, suspicion, and repentance, in a genuine human study of even the most adjacent of subjects (best friends) enduring worlds of tragedy on their own. Though somewhat lacking a fulfilling resolution, I would give "Mystic River" high marks as being an exceedingly critical and heartfelt telling of a most somber and tragic chain of events. ***1/2 out of ****

American Psycho (2000)

Yuppie by day, Gigolo by nightfall, Bloodthursty Killer by heart

[30 November 2004]

"American Psycho" is a grotesque and satirical fabrication of the deception and tolerance of society and what is designed to unleash our wrath against complying with the social crowd and conformity. This is a gory, yet honest tale of a self-obsessed, arrogant, and repulsive New York yuppie (Christian Bale) in 1980s Wall Street, who wakes up behind a mask, is addicted to cleansing and grooming, listens objectively to Phil Collins music, goes to work, inflicts his verbal rage upon his clientele and friends, arrives back at his penthouse apartment with a lady friend or two, and proceeds to literally mutilate his company, as the cycle goes every day. We can hardly sympathize or even begin to understand this man (Patrick Bateman)'s troubles, frustrations, and compulsive wraths, for he hasn't anything to be infuriated about: he's young, dashing, rich, and can afford any possession or woman of his desire; when his violent rampages manifest, it's anyone's guess as to who or what is perturbing Bateman: perhaps he is manufacturing rages for no apparent reason other than out of sheer boredom and lack of interest. He is one of the most arrogant, superficial, vapid, and utterly detestable figures imaginable, and if we weren't conscious of his fascination with Phil Collins and his adoration with looking petite, we might surmise that Bateman hasn't any sensibilities and is virtually inhuman, making him more of a creature than a man. "American Psycho" is perhaps a social commentary on how appearances can be very deceiving: as oblivious characters are enticed into the deranged trap of Bateman, they can only mistake him as being a regular, well-to-do man, without any noticeable deficiencies or dangers, which we realize is quite the contrary to the figure we have come to know and loathe. The film doesn't demand or even any sympathy or understanding for Bateman, but rather, acknowledges his various victims, who are regular dupes in the social landscape of America: they (particularly prostitutes) don't really become acquainted with someone, and yet make themselves perfectly available for a deranged psycho such as Bateman, to have them in their possession and proceed, unsuspected by them, to decapitate their body! This is a chilling, engaging, and ultimately surprising film that sometimes gives overabundant weight to its subject (in the purpose of having us despise his repulsive tendencies), and not enough insight as to the reasons behind his psychopathic behavior. Yet perhaps this is excusable, because some psychopathic figures are not worth examining for their inconceivable features, as they haven't any conscience to examine! Christian Bale is fantastically loathsome as Patrick Bateman, in a film that defies to manufacture excuses or insights for its subject's insanity, but rather, suggests that his actions are all concoctions of his own bewildering, despicable, nature. What an "American Psycho"! ***1/2 out of ****

Sideways (2004)

Sour Grapes

[10/10 · 28 November 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "Sideways" is an all around excellent film and story- a funny, endearing, entertaining concoction of human exploration, reflection, development, confusion... brilliantly acted, written and richly perfected in almost every respect: it's an irresistibly and brilliantly clever piece of genius. Following a frustrated and agitated, yet unusually eloquent and erudite "wine expert" (Paul Giamatti) and his virtual opposite shallow, gregarious, and hollow best friend (Thomas Haden Church), as they venture the fascinating and gorgeous California countryside touring wine factories, meeting and romancing women (though the latter is engaged), and reflecting on the bemusements of life, and experience a week's adventure different than either had anticipated. The former is delighted (albeit hardly ecstatic) about the prospects of his novel becoming published, and this scheme provides the two friends with a reason to celebrate, and as Jack (Church) explicitly phrases it: party and get laid. Miles (Giamatti) is very conscious, yet subdued, exploding with ideas yet adrift about his own seemingly pathetic existence. At one point he exclaims, "I am nothing" proceeding a very unfortunate series of events, and believes he is a "smudge of excrement upon a skyscraper". For Miles, this is a journey of self-exploration, enlightenment, and realization: he is unhappily divorced and tepid about becoming romantically involved with any woman, even with a woman who seems to take a remarkable fancy to him, and is his compliment in the knowledge of wine and its ineffable, brilliant design, taste and spirit. His precarious (engaged) friend Jack, on the other hand, encounters a waitress on their trip (Sandra Oh), and professes his "dying love" to her after merely a day of rather unadulterated acquaintance, and hardly takes a moment to reflect upon his "love", to whom he is about to marry. This is a remarkably clever and carefully structured character study- of realizing the importance of existence and placement in the world, and of seizing opportunities and making the very best of life, even when overwhelming adversities hardly enable one to appreciate happiness, much less, their own existence. The direction is sometimes adroitly concentrative, and often fragmented, in scenes of drama, and pertains to the sometimes mellow and facile, sometimes serious and consequential themes achieved by various happy and depressing circumstances. The writing is absolutely brilliant and very human: it covers practically every human emotion with all the adulteration, honesty, pragmatism, wit and wisdom you might imagine. There are scenes of hilarity (Jack getting scarred by his angry girlfriend, Miles retrieving his wallet) and scenes of depth and reflection (Maya reflecting on the values of wine, Miles relating his miseries and hapless existence to Maya), and "Sideways" is an all around beautiful, enjoyable, endearing, and wholly entertaining work of human character as developed by circumstance, decision, and fate. We feel compassion and sorrow for Miles because we realize his troubles are hardly his faults, and that his kindness and wisdom should be received more fairly than his existence allows. Kudos to Alexander Payne for an absorbing and adulterated screenplay, Thomas Haden Church for his genial and hilarious comic relief in his role as Jack, and Paul Giamatti in his insightful and neurotic performance as Miles, in a film that is guaranteed to be remembered and appreciated at the coming of Oscar season. "Sideways" is a truly wonderful "slice of life" masterpiece. **** out of ****

Finding Nemo (2003)

Entertaining, Whimsical Underwater Adventure

[26 November 2004]

Pixar has done it again, lending their spectacular, realistic visual work to a delightful, fruitful, and entertaining setting and story. They always manage to make their characters (whatever species they are) appear less robotic and superficial, and more human and understandable, and in "Finding Nemo", the clownfish, bluefish, blowfish, sharks, turtles, seagulls, etc. are very funny, delightful, and somewhat lovable, in this entertaining, if kiddish, underwater adventure. The story involves an overprotective, overanxious clownfish named Marlin (Albert Brooks) who is on a perilous quest to find his escaped and abducted son, Nemo, and must plight throughout the Pacific Ocean, with the help of many underwater creatures, in order to prove what kind of loving, devoted father he is. Along his way, Marlin befriends a forgetful and peculiar bluefish named Dory (Ellen DeGeneres), who provides most of the signature Disney humor throughout the film, a gang of "fish deprived" sharks, a troop of turtles ("Grab shell, Dude!"), some seagulls, a few other fish, and many more, including some unpleasant acquaintances, such as stinging jellyfish, angry lightning-fish, and savage sharks, all in a delightful, thrilling, and entertaining adventure. Meanwhile, Nemo has been placed inside a Dentist's tank somewhere in Australia and makes friends of his own, learning to adapt to confined waters. What I enjoyed the most about this film was the refreshing and realistic look of the water- one really feels they are situated inside an ocean, "along for the ride", with the marvelous animation of Pixar, which is always effective. Admittedly, some of the dialog here is somewhat bland and cliché, and oftentimes Dory becomes more of an annoyance than a funny diversion, and there is a prevalence of wanton sentimentality here that is expected of a Disney family film. Yet, the story is delightful and entertaining, the characters are mostly funny and memorable, the visuals are awesome and splendid, and "Finding Nemo" is genuinely a step above the usual Disney family fare. Bravo to Pixar for creating yet another wonderful adventure that almost everyone who can swim can enjoy! ***1/2 out of ****

The Santa Clause (1994)

A Holiday Treasure

[23 November 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "The Santa Clause" is a delightful, funny, and pleasant deviation from your typical "Santa Claus" story. Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) is a perfectly ordinary man who sells toys, dines at regular restaurants, and is incredulous about the spirit of Christmas. That is, until one magical Christmas Eve, the real Santa plummets from his roof and he is coerced into fulfilling the responsibilities as Santa Claus, an offer he simply cannot refuse. So ensues a calamitous, misadventurous night for Scott Calvin and his innocuous son Charlie, of delivering presents all around the world with exhaustion, only to conclude the evening at the North Pole, full of curious and inquisitive little elves who serve Scott and Charlie chocolate milk, dress them in royal pajamas, and stress that if Scott does not assume the role of Santa, then children throughout the world will be devastated. It can't be easy being the man in the red suit, especially when your personality doesn't satisfy the duties required. From Christmas Eve on, Scott Calvin experiences a marvelous transformation- from his appearance and appetite, to his tendencies and even language, to become a suitable Santa Claus by the following Thanksgiving, while being scoffed and threatened by "the outside party" (e.g. his former wife's fiancée, a psychiatrist frequently offers him "therapy"). For the most part, "The Santa Clause" is an endearing, delightful, and fruitful family comedy. There are some significant flaws, however, such as: the tone frequently going from jolly and refreshing, to depressing and melancholy, from the realms of the North Pole, to the doldrums of the adulterated society. This kind of deviation is perhaps too serious and even discouraging for an innocuous Christmas comedy- and why would everyone who disbelieved in Santa Claus be so inclined to destroy Scott Calvin, for his harmless spirit and whim? Fortunately, by the end, it seems everyone has developed a newfound spirit towards Christmas and Santa Claus, through the convenience of witnessing Santa riding to the North Pole- and all is ended well: "A merry Christmas to all, and to all a great night!" This is a mostly enjoyable Christmas comedy that is heartwarming, funny, and endearing, and definitely worth catching around the holidays. Some inspiring words from an elf: "Just because you don't believe in something, doesn't mean it isn't real". If only we could be so innocent and resigned, celebrate our imaginations and fantasies, and believe in the spirit of Christmas! *** out of ****

Home Alone (1990)

Quintessential Christmas Movie

[22 November 2004]

"Home Alone" has been one of the most cherished and beloved Christmas movies since its release 14 years ago, and nearly every time it runs on television around the holidays, I feel obligated to watch it, to "get in the mood" for the yuletide season. This is a wonderful family comedy that everyone can enjoy, if they open their hearts and minds. Kevin McCallister is ungrateful towards his family, who treats him like he is invisible, and wakes up one morning to discover that he has "made his family disappear". Actually, his family unawaringly abandoned him when they hastily left to spend Christmas in Paris. This puts the clever, mischievous, and industrial Kevin in the position of being "home alone", and he plans to make the very best of this long desired vacation from his family- in jumping on the bed, watching obscene, violent movies, indulging in rotten food, and riding down the stairs in a sleigh- perhaps every child's dream come true. All is fun and games, that is, until he discovers two ominous crooks by the name of Harry and Marv, who deviously plot to steal from residents of Kevin's neighborhood, including his own house! Now this becomes a matter of out-witting and thwarting the two crooks through a series of clever, contrived traps and gags which will discourage Harry and Marve's criminal efforts and leave them with splitting headaches, sores throughout their bodies, and eventually, a pair of cold, steel handcuffs! This is such a wonderful, delightful premise, perfect for holiday viewing, regardless of age (admittedly, however, this film was better when I was very young, and even inspirational- this is how you stop "the bad guys"). It also contains some valuable morals, as Keven learns through his experiences and acquaintances in being "home alone": never wish for your family to disappear, for once they are gone, you will be praying for their return; don't prejudge others based on their appearances and "rumors": Kevin is at first petrified of a man who is believed to be a "shovel murderer", yet once he becomes acquainted with him, the man is harmless, genial, and kind; and finally, when you recognize a threat being posed to yourself and others, don't stand around, but take immediate action (of course, one cannot be nearly as devisive as Kevin in "Home Alone"), but you get the picture. "Home Alone" is a wonderful, clever, funny, and entertaining Christmas classic, featuring an enchanting musical score by John Williams, some hilarious, if inane, dialogue, a solid MacCauley Culkin performance (the finest of his career), and some very endearing qualities that always make this the quintessential Christmas watch. ***1/2 out of ****

What Women Want (2000)

Gibson Charm and Style + Effective Premise - Inspiration = Good Effort

[21 November 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "What Women Want" features a supernatural comedy premise: a chauvinistic magazine executive (Mel Gibson) encounters a freak accident and inherits women's intuition (quite literally), and can perceive the conscience of the women around him. This is one of those dynamite, massively appealing premise, that only requires a decent enough execution to be enjoyable. For the most part, there are enough clever ideas to keep this premise alive and afloat, yet not nearly enough to exalt this film into the kingdom of cinematic greatness, as towards the end, the writing loses focus and traffics in sentimentality rather than comedy. The plot revolves around Nick Marshall (Gibson), and his increasing understanding and prerogative upon women, when he hears everything they are thinking, regardless of whether they approve of his awareness of their secrecy or not. The director takes a very conventional approach to this delightful premise: initially Marshall is chauvinistic, pompous, and universally loathed by the female sex, then he inherits the ability to read women's minds (initially shocked and wanting to be rid of this ability), then grows to understand what he perceives, and finally, becomes "one of them", as his masculinity and ego have escaped with his appreciation and understanding of the women around him. And of course there's a romantic interest (who is initially Marshall's corporate nemesis and personality opposite)- Darcy Maguire (Helen Hunt), as the two initially have a mutual annoyance of one another, then start conversing, working, and relating, and finally are allured by each other's charm and "common ground" (mostly acquired through Marshall's reading of Darcy's mind- for both professional and romantic purposes). For what it's worth, I really enjoyed "What Women Want"- it is a simple, fruitful, funny, and touching experience, and works very eloquently as both an intriguing comedy and romantic adventure. Yet, I had to instinctively question: "Is this what women are really thinking? Are they always concerned with appearances, relationships, deficiencies, acceptances, etc. Sounds like the thoughts a woman might express in a fashion magazine (e.g. Vogue, Vanity Fair) editorial, but are these really the personal, human thoughts felt by a woman on a day-to-day basis? Dubious! Despite some particular flaws, "What Women Wants" is a charming, enjoyable, and rewarding romantic comedy about understanding the greatest mystery of all: "What are women thinking, and what do they really want?" Just ask Nick Marshall, who appears to have learned enough about women to admire and love women for who they are, rather than how they appear. *** out of ****

50 First Dates (2004)

Charming and Fresh Sandler Romantic Comedy

[20 November 2004]

"50 First Dates" features Adam Sandler in a more subdued comedic role than he has previously exhibited in films. His performance in "50 First Dates" is much akin to "The Wedding Singer", which is a pleasant deviation from his recently zany roles in outrageous comedies. He is teamed once again with Drew Barrymore, and (you guessed it), they once again develop a romance- yet is a romance really a romance when one of the partners cannot recall your name the following morning? This is a clever premise, set most curiously in Hawaii (perhaps the director felt a tropical setting was appropriate for the "sweet and temperate" plot): a man named Henry (Sandler) falls in love with a woman named Lucy (Barrymore), and despite their peculiarities and differences, they manage to really hit it off on the romantic course. That is, until the following morning, when Henry goes to meet Lucy in the diner and is acquainted with consternation: "Who are you?" Yes, Lucy appears to have a memory problem, short-term amnesia, where she cannot recall any events of the previous day. Why does Henry continue to woo Lucy, even after acknowledging that their (conscious) romance can only last a day? Perhaps love at first sight... So ensues a series of hilarious attempts by Sandler to woo and eventually form a romance akin to "Groundhog Day", where the same scenarios are carried out day after day until the man with the prerogative (or disposition thereof) finally decides to make important, helpful use of the situation. This is a sweet, charming, sometimes too sentimental, sometimes too implausible, and even smart, romantic comedy, featuring some delightful performances by Sandler and Barrymore, who once again prove their status as a romantic team in movies. The ending lacked much resolution, but at least it ended on a good note. Overall, I definitely recommend "50 First Dates" as a decent romantic comedy, and a handbook on how to make the girl of your dreams, who believes you are invisible or nonexistent, fall in love with you, time and again. *** out of ****

House of Sand and Fog (2003)

A Tragedy of Shattered Dreams

[19 November 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "House of Sand and Fog" is intelligently written, adroitly acted, and compassionately directed, and tells a tragic story of a refugee (Ben Kingsley) who flees from his country to settle with his wife and children in a house that was recently the estate of an afflicted, depressed alcoholic (Jennifer Connelly) bequeathed to her by her father's will. So ensues bitter acrimony to an unhealthy, detrimental degree, as the woman strives to retrieve her "bereaved" possession- she merely forgot to pay the rent, and the insurance company stole her place of residence and sold it to an equally desperate and conflicted figure, who is as emotionally distraught as Jennifer Connelly about life and its injustices. I know what you're thinking- this is merely a feud between two unruly people over an estate (a failed concept in "Duplex") and that is the consistency of the plot. Well, there is much, much more to be explored than merely bitter tension, and this "house of sand and fog" soon becomes a breeding ground of emotion, turmoil, and ultimately, tragedy and despair. This is mostly a character study- of life's many conflictions and disparities which cause us to commit desperate actions to achieve demands or even to relinquish our frustrations upon the sheer cruelty of life. The refugee Behrani (Kingsley) has reasons for his fleeing Iran- for he experienced unspeakable turmoil and tragedy there, and is merely trying to escape such horrible memories from his past. Kathy (Connelly) is an emotionally unstable, afflicted woman who has practically conceded to life, drowning her sorrows away with bottles of Gin and medication. It is a sad state of affairs when two conflicted people such as Behrani and Kathy clash ferociously over an estate, and put the interests of themselves and their loved ones in jeopardy. Behrani's wife Nadi, as well as their children, did not seek to relive the nightmares of civil warfare when they fled to America, and their are merely "collateral damage" in the event of the bitter feud. This is a heartbreaking, absorbing, and ingenious drama that explores some major human flaws, specifically desperation, and outlines how tragedy can result when certain limits of tolerance towards life and happiness are breached and how one cannot possibly live in silence through apparent turmoil and not possess a rage which demands to be hearkened when the fuse of their temperance is ignited. Kingsley is brilliant and compassionate as Behrani, giving his character an engaging graveness and understanding that is rare in film. Connelly is equally fantastic as the afflicted Kathy, and really knows how to convey compassion and sadness to her disparaged character. Shoreh Aghdashloo speaks volumes in her remarkably sensitive performance about the quells a man's wife experiences through her husband's trials, out of constraint and loyalty. This is an absorbing, compassionate, and heartbreaking story of tragedy, containing enough convention and understanding towards its subjects to conjure a very powerful catharsis by the end, in presenting a true tragedy. What a powerful and ingenious experience "House of Sand and Fog" is- an exemplary drama that should be inspired by future films of the most sensitive area of all- tragedy. **** out of ****

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Silly, Hollow, Formulaic, Fun

[19 November 2004]

"2 Fast 2 Furious" doesn't offer any inspirational or prize-worthy substance in any major cinematic areas. The script is relentlessly lame and clichéd, the characters are hollow and inane, the direction is hurried and unfocused, and the acting is dismal and pathetic. Yet aside from all of these apparent critical cinematic flaws, the film manages to compensate for its lackings in being a high-octane, thrilling, and overall fun experience. The story is merely a convention for the action- Los Angeles Police Officer Brian O'Connor is stripped of his badge, assigned to infiltrate the Miami street racing circuit in order to retain his badge, and teams up with his former friend Roman Pierce (Tyrese) to oversee underworld corruption while streetracing and having a blast. End of story. There is significantly (and more welcomely) more action that drives this sequel, and if for nothing but the high-octane, gut-pumping streetracing scenes, "2 Fast 2 Furious" is good entertainment. It features relentless highway chases, crashes, jumps, bumps, near-death experiences, clichés, clichés, clichés, yet it is still a world of fun to experience the action! "2 Fast 2 Furious" is superior to the original, and a solid, senseless piece of entertainment! *** out of ****

The Perfect Storm (2000)

Visual Awe Lacking Catharsis From Disaster

[19 November 2004]

"The Perfect Storm" is bloated with harrowingly real visuals, thundering sound effects, and is a terrifying presentation of the huge, notorious event that occurred along the Atlantic coastline of the United States in 1991 to many unfortunate fishermen. Yet aside from giving us a taste of this catastrophe (in hopes of entertainment?), the film doesn't offer much in the conventions of screenplay or plot, and just as George Clooney, Mark Wahlburg and their crew drift into sea after giving their farewells to their family and abode, the writing is plenty more shallow than the setting, and you might even say exhibiting a "watery" core. We learn of these unfortunate men and their ambitions of "catching the mother load of all fish" consuming their judgment, and while temporarily residing in a Massachussetts seaport, they "live upon the sea", though Mark Wahlburg cannot stand to be distant from Diane Lane (perhaps he shouldn't be a fisherman). For some reason there is much emphasis on the fishermen and their relationships (as apparently these were true acquaintances) throughout the initial half-hour of the film. Is this concentration meant to build a certain compassion and understanding for the characters, thus we become emotionally involved in their plights at sea, or is this a human story meant to occur before their tragic transition and to convey the bereavements that were actually received back home from their loved ones and acquaintances. For whatever the reason, all of the emphasis on the characters is exhausted here, and little besides confrontation and occasional reflection is expressed by the fishermen, as they plunge into the wrath of the sea. When the action occurs, it certainly feels real and is meant to terrify, yet for some reason, our consideration for the characters becomes lost in the feast of visuals, and we can only anticipate that they will face inevitable doom in the scorn of "the beast of the ocean", rather than survive to tell the tale. Though it sounds impossible to imagine, the action eventually became never-ending and somewhat tedious- I was anxious for it to finally end, albeit hardly encouraging the characters' dismal fate. "The Perfect Storm" offers fantastic and laudable visuals, yet lackluster dialogue and plot (it was melodrama watching two of the fishermen "duke it out" at times). A fantastic effort, yet a complacent, somewhat unpleasant, execution. **1/2 out of ****

Cast Away (2000)

Engaging Hanks-Driven Drama

[18 November 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "Cast Away" is a concept that could not have possibly been imagined without some of the most brilliant and touching acting talent around, as the audience would otherwise be bored to tears in watching an ordinary man stranded on an island for the duration of about two hours. Luckily for us, the wise and gifted Robert Zemeckis decided to re-team from "Forrest Gump" with one of the best actors in Hollywood, to produce a film that is propelled by emotion, engagement, and enthrallment through acting. This is a simple story about a man constantly in a haste (he's a Fed-Ex manager!), who is about to get engaged to his girlfriend (Helen Hunt), yet before he proposes to her, must venture around the globe on one last delivery stop before Christmas. This is when we find Hanks stranded on an island in the middle of nowhere, as his plane suffers from turbulence and is shot down from the sky, the pilots killed instantly. It is difficult to adapt to the conditions of solitude and living the life of a productive castaway, but Chuck Noland (Hanks) manages to find coconuts (albeit struggling to crack them open), catch fish, build fires, rafts, and "rescue me" flags, and apparently survives for four years on the island, living the same routine every day. His survival is stemmed from his hope, in his remembrance of his love Kelly (Hunt) (through observing a Rolex watch with her picture inside), determination (promising to deliver a lost package when he leaves the island), and companionship (he befriends a volleyball, which he appropriately names, Wilson, as "somebody" to converse with). Hanks delivers one of the most human, convincing, and heartfelt performances you will ever behold, proving here that he is just as brilliant in playing a castaway as he is a mentally-deficient savant. My complaints of the film bely in the resolution. The initially endearing premise of romance between Hanks and Hunt becomes particularly wanton and confusing, and unfortunately, amounts to virtually nothing. We understand that life has changed dramatically after four years of desolation and survival, and by the end, we would rather see Chuck Nolan back on the island, living adventures with Wilson, and making the best of life, rather than confronting an apathetic and ungrateful society who hardly cares about him after four years of estrangement. Absorbing direction, excellent acting, decent enough screenplay, weak and tarnished resolution; "Cast Away" is focused near shore, lost back on land, yet overall, a decent, engaging experience. *** out of ****

Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

Master Film-making

[9/10 · 18 November 2004]

There is much to admire about Peter Weir's adaptation of the British sea voyage novels, "Master And Commander: The Far Side of the World". It's absorbing, it's breathtaking, it's intelligent, it's glorious, and it's ingeniously crafted. This is such a sensational marvel of a film production that, if it hadn't been for "The Return of the King" stealing its thunder, "Master and Commander" would have certainly won many more Oscars, and perhaps even the grand prize. My only major complaint with the film is the story: at times tedious, and includes some ingratiating details (e.g. Paul Bettany befriending a junior sailor---entirely irrelevant to the plot). This is an astonishing effort that sails both on style as well as substance. The acting is, as expected, pure dynamite, with Russell Crowe delivering yet another impeccable performance as the virtuous, vivacious "Lucky Jack" Aubrey- and plays this role with such spirit and conviction that he virtually steals the show as far as the cast is concerned. Paul Bettany plays a diffident, subdued role as Stephen Maturin, proving that he can be deftly serious and reflective to Russell Crowe's bombast and vivacity. The visuals, to say the least, are absolutely splendid- from the engaging battles of the ships, to the raging storms, to the flickering lights throughout these turmoils, one is really given a "taste of the perilous and spectacular sea" through some strikingly realistic effects. And speaking of being situated into the action, the sound effects are superb- the gunshots are vociferous and glaring, and it is often scary how terrifying these battles really are. The ship design is exquisite, and perhaps very exorbitant, displaying practically every detail one might expect to find in a British liner circa 1805. The costumes are fancy, genteel, and luxurious, and what else might one expect sailors from the Royal British Navy to be suited with? A far cry from the scrappy suits of "Pirates of the Caribbean" in that respect! I will say that my favorite scene of the film was the showdown between the Brits and the French- you are literally situated right in the center of the bloody action, and you realize that this is the ultimate pinnacle and quest of the story: what an engaging thrill! Featuring some brilliant and laudable technical design, fantastic acting, yet a somewhat slow and stagnant plot, "Master and Commander" is, above anything else, a masterpiece in modern film-making, and truly a wonder to behold. ***1/2 out of ****

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

A Timeless American Classic

[17 November 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** I honestly cannot conceive how anyone who possesses a heart, mind, and soul can detract from this wonderful, brilliant, classic piece of American cinema. Aside from being THE movie to view over and over every Christmas season, "It's A Wonderful Life" is a fantastic celebration of the human soul, and how sometimes when we find ourselves at the brink of disaster, it is crucial to realize that miracles can definitely happen, as George Bailey discovers in his guardian angel Clarence. This is a whimsical, endearing, and somewhat somber story about life in America, and how accumulating enough fame and friends can salvage you from any financial burden which may befall your life. George Bailey is a simple, gregarious, and even pompous figure whose inherent responsibility is to retain his father's banking company and to ensure that his life-long nemesis, the wretched, sinister Mr. Potter, does not succeed in taking over the business and eventually the town of Bedford Falls. We soon learn that an egregious and critical error has been committed which has plunged George's bank into potential bankruptcy and what's worse, possibly jail time. All of this despair and turmoil befall the typically fortunate Bailey and dangerously consume him to the extent that he silences his daughter's playing on the piano, relinquishes his distress upon his loving wife and children, and storms out of the house to get dazed at a bar, and eventually, find himself at the edge of a bridge, contemplating suicide. The story follows George Bailey through times of good and times of despair, so that we get the sincere impression that suicide was once the very last intention on Bailey's spirited and ambitious mind. At an early age, he proclaims to his lover and future wife, Mary, "I'm shaking' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world", and pleases Mary with such charming gestures as "You want the moon? I'll throw a lasso around it for you". We learn that he has had quite a fortunate and prosperous life, and before his recent downfall, could be said to be the happiest man in Bedford Falls. However, it takes a whimsical and vivacious guardian angel named Clarence to really remind George of his wonderful and important existence, as in reflection, he not only prospered in bliss in his personal affairs, yet also impacted the lives of countless acquaintances throughout the town, some of whom wouldn't even have existed without him, if that is too marvelous to conceive! This is the quintessential American classic, most enjoyed around the reflective, cheery holiday season, that reminds us about the riches we enjoy in life, how we can easily be bereaved of them, and how we might possibly salvage whatever losses we encounter in life. George Bailey eventually learns that it is not the present, mundane, or even discouraging details which define our lives, but the whole of our existence: our contributions, successes, fortunes, possessions, and impressions we achieve throughout our time upon the earth, and to simply enjoy everything we are so very blessed to receive. This is a brilliant, timeless film, featuring wonderful direction, superb acting by James Stewart, an incomparable screenplay, and is just an overall priceless experience to behold. It's one of the most endearing, heartfelt, and important films you will ever have the privilege to view, particularly around the holiday season, when you are reflecting upon what you should be thankful for, and forgetting as best you can, any negative details which try to diminish your happiness. George Bailey: "Isn't that wonderful, I'm going to jail!" This is the kind of happy, fearless spirit we should all aspire to achieve! "It's A Wonderful Life" is a truly wonderful movie. **** out of ****

Shrek (2001)

One Delightful, Fruitful "Fairy Tale"

[10/10 · 16 November 2004]

***POSSIBLE SPOILERS*** "Shrek" succeeds as a unique, intelligent, and delightful spin on the general Disney-dominated fairy tale genre. It is simplistic, satiric, and unapologetic in its marvelously clever deviation from what has been historically perceived as the general fresh, moral-promoting, sensational fantasy genre, and as a matter of fact, it makes no compromises in deploring Disney's notorious masterpieces! Featuring a reclusive, abhorrent ogre as the protagonist is daring and unorthodox enough, yet also include the likes of an obnoxious, yet amicable chatterbox donkey (Eddie Murphy) as his "unwanted sidekick", an ungrateful (and quite peculiar) princess as the subject of the heroic quest, and a lamentable, unintimidating midget named Lord Farquad as the villain, "Shrek" is not your typical innocent family fare, and it deserves high accolades for breaching the boundaries of what is traditionally accepted of the fantasy genre, and achieving an unconventional, dynamic, and truly amazing work of entertainment. To begin with, the title character Shrek is absolutely hilarious: a low-brow, anti-social "hideous creature" who resides in a filthy swamp, consumes worms, and justifies his personality in descrying: "Ogres are like onions, because they have lairs". Just about every line that is uttered by this whimsical, yet loathsome, Shrek, is entirely laughable, and it is very difficult to actually take him seriously, even during frequent areas of sentimentality and self-reflection. Eddie Murphy provides his raw energy and vocalism in playing Shrek's opposite, the donkey, who is at times irksome with his incessant babblings, yet at times provides a welcome balance to Shrek's weaker parts. The screenplay is very engaging, extremely clever, and often hilarious. Besides the delightful dialogue between Shrek, Donkey, Princess Fiona, and Lord Farquad, there are some very daring and innovative "pokes" which deserve much commendation. The silliness of the gingerbread man pleading desperately not to pluck his gumdrop buttons is timeless! The Snow White "mirror, mirror, what will it be? Princess 1, 2, or 3?"--- how classically contemporary! And Shrek awaking "Sleeping Beauty" perfunctorily and unconventionally--- hilarious! There are some really imaginative qualities to be applauded here: the animation settings are a mix between notorious fairy tale scenes, yet full of modern characters and dialogue that would appall anyone really living in those times! The cheerful, melodic music brilliantly collaborates with the mostly amusing, sometimes sentimental atmosphere of the film, and reminds us that every scene in the film plays a purpose to the story that is trying to be told. This is definitely one of the most enjoyable and satisfying animated films I have ever seen, is quite superior to its successor "Shrek 2", and as a piece of entertainment, it works extremely effectively in achieving the humor, structure, character, catharsis, and meaning that is so often desired in movies, and is extremely rare as far as innocent animated fairy tales come. "Shrek" is one jolly, fruitful green ogre to behold! **** out of ****

Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)

Well, I Hope You're Happy, Mr. Moore

[1/10 · 16 November 2004]

Greetings from the darkness. I have commented on this despicable, loathsome, atrocious piece of garbage several times, and now after viewing it several times since my last review, I feel compelled to share how I really feel about "Fahrenheit 9/11", Michael Moore's vicious, deceitful "pack of lies" which sought to unseat our president, a man whom I (mostly) hold some of the highest regards for, and who is sorely and evilly misrepresented in this abomination of a "documentary". I would just like to entertain to anyone who actually believes that every detail in this "film" is irrefutable and merely "exposing the truth", to visit some of the countless websites laden with pages and pages of information of Moore's innumerable deceits, distortions, and "cut-and-paste" tactics throughout "Fahrenheit 9/11"... can you say... Centigrade 9-11? After borrowing the DVD of this despicable film and viewing it in the solitude of my own home, not surrounded by the poor, ignorant souls who so shamelessly praise all of Moore's "patriotic endeavors" that accompanied me in the theater (free admission) months ago, I came to really understanding how people who haven't a shred of an idea about the affairs of the world as well as the history that has advanced those affairs, might be inclined to believe that George W. Bush is a sordid, avaricious, contemptible, bumbling fool, who merely "stole" the 2000 election, concocted the worst terrorist attack on our nation's soil for political and financial gain, and endeavored into Iraq in "fooling" America that it posed a threat when, to quote the brilliant Jim McDermott, "There wasn't one". I would just like to share a few of the many, many, many deceits Moore has so insidiously crafted throughout "Fahrenheit 9/11", so that some of "the truth" might be exposed: The only reason released National Guard records showed James Bath's name blotted out was because Federal Law requires the National Guard to black out the names of any Guardsmen whose medical information was on the same pages as the records with which the Guard releasing Bush's health records- these privacy regulations were only enacted in April 2003, before Moore's "surprise" National Guard copy; Prince Bandar of Saudi Arabia has been a bipartisan power-broker for decades, and President Clinton himself repeatedly relied on Bandar to advance his own Middle East agenda; Taliban officials came to Texas in 1997, yet what Moore neglects to tell us is that Bush never even conferred with them; Oregon State Police (and thus Oregon State government) is strictly responsible for its security; Saddam Hussein did order the murder of Americans, for example: he permitted Abu Nadal a safe haven, funded suicide bombers in Israel who killed Americans, and ordered in 1991 the assassination of the American Ambassador to the Phillipines; Iraqi intelligence documents from 1992 list bin Laden as an Iraqi intelligence asset; the enormous "defense budget cut" Moore indicts the Bush administration was held over from the Clinton administration, Bush being powerless until the following year to reverse it; 33% cut in military salary? try not initially supporting a special increase bonus of $75, but then changing positions and advocating the bonus; Moore has ZERO evidence that Bush did not view the Aug. 6, 2001 terrorism briefing; Bush on vacation 42% of first eight months in office? try meeting with leaders and traveling across the nation in giving initiatives, briefing on the budget, meeting with foreign leaders (e.g. Tony Blair), which, if you detract weekends, which Presidents typically spend in Camp David to work on initiatives, accounts to only 13% time on "vacation"!; and on and on and on... Not to mention some of Moore's horrendous hypocrises: "praising" our troops and mourning their losses? Ha! Here's a guy that openly proclaimed on his website: "The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not "insurgents" or "terrorists" or "The Enemy". They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow, and they will win. Sounds pretty sickening, especially considering that Moore pretends to be "on the side" of the troops and their families when he is actually advocating the ENEMY! Not to mention his eerie presentation of 9/11, recalling it to be a horrible, unforgettable event. Yeah, for any person of rationale and sanity! Moore on September 12, 2001: "I don't know why we're making such an issue of terrorism in this country. You're more likely to get struck by lightning than get killed by a terrorist." Despicable, isn't it. But wait, there's "Moore": (Referring to the heroic passengers who brought the plane down in Shanksville, PA): "The passengers were scaredy-cats because they were mostly white..." How can anybody with a shred of humanity and intelligence advocate or believe anything this MONSTER of a human being says or does? I am merely trying to expose the truth about a man whom many people have deemed a "great American patriot", and let you, as fellow citizens and thinking people, be the judge. President Bush was thankfully re-elected on November 2, and thus "Fahrenheit 9/11" deemed a miserable failure! Let's continue to show that our people are alive and functioning in sanity and not in sheer lunacy! I hope you're happy, Michael Moore... Zero Stars out of Four

My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)

Innocuous Fluff, Yet Extremely Overrated

[16 November 2004]

"My Big Fat Greek Wedding" plays out very well as a sitcommish, mirthful comedy exploring culture clashes through romance and family. It features two distinctly different identities: the White Anglo Saxxon Protestant, colliding with the Greek Orthodox, and humorously explores how, despite their apparent differences, there can still be a happy, healthy situation made out of a romance between the two, in growing to understand and appreciate one another rather than dismissing each other as intangible and unattainable. So we have a zippy romance formed between a coy, 30-something Greek woman and a gregarious, unashamed American man, and the two really hit it off... That is, until the woman (Toula Portokalos)'s family enters the picture, and the extravagant preparations for their wedding are under way, whether the two estranged lovebirds like it or not! This is some pretty humorous, if derivative, material: a near perfect idea for a sitcom, which quite ironically faltered miserably when the idea was adapted to the silver screen. It's far from being a sensational and very satisfying comedy, however, as it is somewhat uneconomical in exploring the many hilarious elements that separate the Greeks and the Americans, and while it does make an attempt, delivering such clever zingers as "Every English word was derived by the Greeks" and "You don't eat meat... That's okay, I'll make lamb", there is plenty of other funny material that could have substituted for the vapid sentimental scenes. It's a very clever premise, and obviously very appealing, as this tiny independent romp somehow managed to garner a monstrous $240 million in domestic box office receipts, yet is perhaps too conventional and provides more sentimentality than raunchiness, and isn't really worthy of the prestigious title of "a must-see, charming, and effective film: tell your friends, it's a sensational phenomenon" that people have given it much credit for. Cultural clash is quite amusing, and very popular, in this day and age, yet when the expectations are stratosphere for such a film as this to "delight you to the end", "My Big Fat Greek Wedding", I have to say, somewhat disappoints, in that it is too hurried, too sentimental, and too unresolved toward the end. I will comment that a sequel involving the married life of this peculiar couple and Toula's outrageous family is in dire order, and can perhaps improve upon areas where this film lacked. This is a (mostly) entertaining, clever, and amusing romp of a comedy, that somewhat lacks in character and plot development, and demands a less mushy, more lewd execution. It's good, just not "phenomenal blockbuster dynamite". *** out of ****

Vegas Vacation (1997)

The Griswalds Parade In Vegas

[14 November 2004]

"Vegas Vacation" makes no pretenses to be a good, hearty, intelligent piece of cinema: it features many critical, inexcusable flaws, such as: trafficking in mindless frivolity, some occasionally cheesy dialogue, and even wavers constantly from scene to scene without any means of resolution or connection. Yet, if you can ignore its many irksome qualities, the latest outing with the Griswalds is simply an outrageous, hilarious, and pleasurable romp of a movie. If you laugh at something senseless and absurd, such as Cousing Eddie babbling on about his worthless, pathetic existence, or Clark Griswald finding himself at the edge of the Hoover Dam, or even a busload of tourists crashing into the estate of "Mr. Las Vegas", Wayne Newton, so what? Where logic and reasoning are scarce behind the odds of the scenarios the Griswalds encounter, laughs are aplenty to make this one gleeful, jovial outing full of some really effective comedy. The idea of the dysfunctional Griswalds venturing to Vegas for yet another "family vacation" and finding themselves experiencing the whims of the city of entertainment in their own individual ways, with Clark being a hapless, compulsive gambler, Ellen having somewhat of an affair with Wayne Newton, Rusty hitting it rich at the casinos and masquerading as a "playboy", and Audrey aspiring to be an exotic dancer, how hilarious can it get? Couple this with the outrageous imbecilic likes of Cousin Eddie continuing to plague Clark's existence, and "Vegas Vacation" succeeds in delivering a royal flush of laughs. If it's silly and inane, if scenarios are too illogical for words, and if not everything really comes together by the end, at least you have plenty of funny material to laugh away at, and that makes for a jolly good outing, when you find yourself laughing consistently throughout the film, which warrants a solid recommendation for "Vegas Vacation". Hilarious! *** out of ****