CronoClone Reviews

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

Loved it!

[8/10 · 6 August 2008]

Based on a recommendation from the Podcouch Film podcast (and an unhealthy obsession with Clive Barker) I drove quite a ways to see this film. Strange that they're the only ones reviewing this movie; I mean, even metacritic hasn't assigned it a rating yet,and it's been out for a week. I liked it a bit more than they did, but I acknowledge that it has its problems.

It was entertaining and extremely gory with some tight direction...can't say it was worth the drive though, I went all the way up to Rochester, and even though tickets were a dollar not a lot of people stayed through to the end. Maybe this is a film for true horror fans only?

From Beijing with Love (1994)

Almost a perfect parody...

[7/10 · 29 December 2001]

In the grand tradition of Get Smart, we have here a wonderfully wacky send-up of 007 action films. For the first roughly 2/3 of the movie, I was literally rolling out of my seat laughing with this film's ontarget, brilliant skewerings of spy film cliches. As much as I hate to say it, though, at the 2/3 point the film begins to lose its focus. It starts to concentrate too heavily on creating the Bond mood, and consequently ends up being far too serious. Up until that point, though, it was really something special. The only other qualm I have is that it is far, far too violent. You have fingers getting sliced off, a man getting glass shoved into his face, necks being slashed, etc. Heck, just as the movie is building its comedic potential, a minor character gets brutally stabbed in the head. Had this been done in an over-the-top manner, it could have been very funny, like the Black Knight scene in Holy Grail. But they instead opted for a hyper-realistic look, that, when introduced into a heavily comedic environment, presents an uncomfortable clash of styles and makes the often startling violence uniquely disturbing and grotesque. Still, if you can overlook its flaws, this is definitely a movie worth seeing.