Change Your Image
Fred Mertz
Reviews
The Rookie (1990)
Get it for Sonia Braga.
It's not a bad movie, not in the least, but you won't be impressed enough to remember it for cinematic brilliance.
However, oh my, Sonia Braga is uma brasileira beleza, and Raul Julia is
such a good actor that you'll forgive the bad stunts.
Lloyd (2001)
The original title was better: he's an Ugly Kid.
The movie made me laugh - alot - and often not for the intended purposes but its sheer ineptitude as translated to film.
The supporting cast makes the movie hysterical: Mr. Weid just about killed my wife and I every time he showed up. Taylor Negron is always funny but in this role, he stole the movie. Tony Longo as the constantly-yelling coach who promotes square dancing was another pleasant surprise. Overall, the dialogue for the teachers was nothing short of comedic genius.
The kids, though, had some terrible dialogue. My wife actually yelled at the television, exclaiming "what kid talks like that?!" and how could anyone argue? When the kids acted like kids, we died laughing ("Freeze, Pickle! This is a stick-up!" was the best line in the movie). When they had to fumble with corny dialogue, we noticed how bad the editing was and all the sundry mistakes made during the film.
The Calvillo family was over-employed on the set, I think. There are some scenes that required more explanation, more development to explain *how* the Ugly Kid (and boy is he ugly) learns to pseudo-salsa and lip-synch Spanish; dance a passable Tony Manero; and organize a group of kids who supposedly hate his guts? And why did the kids all put their (spent) candy all over the school?
Burning questions unanswered, best not asked in the first place. A reasonably good movie with some really funny scenes; the writer has some talent for this.
Twice Upon a Time (1983)
The uncut version is the one you want.
You'll probably never see it, but the uncut version is about 50% better than the one you can buy. Put it another way: once you've seen it in its original form, the current version is only half as good.
It's still wildly creative and sick, a total success on so many levels.
Enter the Dragon (1973)
The gold standard of martial-arts film.
Jet Li defies gravity and his movies are jaw-dropping entertainment, but for sheer martial-art realism and simply breathtaking execution, there's Bruce Lee and no one else. Not for miles.
The movie starts with an ass-kickin' and it just gets better. Sure, it's an early 70s film and there's no possible way it'll ever make an all-time best movie list, but if you're a fan of the genre, this movie fits in well.
The attraction is and should always be the action in this movie. There's no way to overestimate the importance, effect, and quality of the fight choreography. You'll get excited watching even the smallest scene, but the finest one is Bruce Lee's fight with the guards in the secret cave. Oh man, he wipes out person after person with incredible speed and precision, and even after seeing this movie a hundred times, I still get vocally involved with the action.
Now, the movie on videotape is different than the one in theaters. Even the "restored" versions are missing the full scene where Bolo takes out the guards who failed to stop the intruder. Watch the editing and you'll pick it up. So, shrug your shoulders a little at the inexplicable editing and just move on, I guess.
Boards... don't hit back. Yeah, baby.