daltonml-1 Reviews

Take This Job and Shove It (1981)

Pure Redneck Fun N'More!

[10/10 · 8 October 2008]

Don't anybody get me wrong! This movie is one of the funniest, wildest movies I've seen in my life. And it is a classic with a capital C! Robert Hays of "Airplane" (1980) goes from an idiot who can't fly a plane to a tough but reasonable head brewery chief in "Take This Job And Shove It". And can he get the women here in this movie. Whoo! Barbara Hershey is the hottie to watch for. Lord, if I was Robert Hays' character, I'd be drooling like a hungry wolf over her. She was hot! Of course, the highlights of this movie are the music, the barroom scene where all the gang is playing football with a roll of toilet paper, and a couple of "giving the finger" scenes that when aired for network TV, are cruelly chopped out, yet I thought were quite funny at best.

David Keith plays the arrogant Harry, who really turns out to be a decent guy toward the film's end.

Tim Thomerson is the wild and smart-aleck country boy from hell Ray. The man drinks more beer and has a mean streak in him that sure can't be dealt with.

Art Carney does a fine job as Mr. Pickett, head of the beer company that Robert Hays is owner of the brewery. He's packed on a few pounds since his "Honeymooners" days, but you need not bother! Eddie Albert rounds out the cast in my opinion as the overbearing egotistical Mr. Ellison, who always wants something, including coffee. He is a big contrast from his days on "Green Acres" here. It makes one think if Arnold The Pig could handle such a domineering old fart like Ellison here.

Altogether, this is a great movie. Despite what anyone else would say, you can't turn down an offer to watch this movie, or would you just say "Take This Movie And Shove It"? I would say "Take This Movie And Watch It" and hopefully, you'll love it!

I sure watched it! And I loved it! (I still love it!)

The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Love This Movie! Was A High School Favorite Of Mine!

[10/10 · 22 June 2008]

I saw this movie three times in the theater with a buddy of mine when we were still in high school. Yes, Three Times! And it got better each time I saw it. Before too long, I could recite every line spoken by Bruce Willis in the movie because at one point, Willis was my hero. I even copied his hairstyle and mannerisms, without getting busted, of course. This movie had more action and humor in it for the time. Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans were a poor man's version of Mel Gibson and Danny Glover of the "Lethal Weapon" saga. And nothing could stop these guys to be the heroes of the moment! To me, I found "The Last Boy Scout" an excellent, Hilario's adventure from start to finish. In fact, I loved it so much the first time, I refused to take a bathroom break during the final 30 minutes of the film because I feared I would miss a great action scene or so. What's missing about "The Last Boy Scout", sadly to tell you, is a sequel. I hoped and prayed that it would come to be in the future. But it never materialized or any news came through. A real bummer because the ending left the door wide open for a "Last Boy Scout Part 2". But I definitely do not want a sequel with different actors playing Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans' roles should there be one. These guys kicked Major League Ass! You Can't Miss This One By Any Means, Buddy!

The Punisher (2004)

Forget The 1989 Dolph Lundgren Crap! This Was Better!

[10/10 · 8 April 2008]

My fiancée and I saw this movie opening weekend and loved it! We had already seen the 1989 Dolph Lundgren version and thought it was a big piece of crap! Thomas Jane played Frank Castle the way The Punisher should be, skull logo on his outfit and everything! Not to mention a tougher-than-tough one-man revenge team out to avenge the death of his entire family, armed with so many weapons even Rambo would look like a wuss in the jungle! John Travolta was cold-hearted as Howard Saint. Very cold-hearted! You'd think he was acting like someone had killed all the Sweathogs in a massacre, he was so mean-looking. Yet I praised his performance, too! Of course, what really makes me and my friends laugh today was what my fiancée said about Thomas Jane the moment she saw him as The Punisher that he had abs, all I had was flabs. And every time she sees this movie (she has it on DVD), my fiancée just adores Thomas Jane beyond my belief! You know, it's a darn shame Thomas Jane won't be in "Punisher 2". Instead Ray Stevenson will be in the movie. I really was looking forward to Thomas Jane playing The Punisher again! Anyway, terrific Marvel movie. Should Not Be Missed Nor Bashed!

Captain America (1990)

Don't Waste Your Time On This Piece Of Trash, Pal!

[1/10 · 8 February 2008]

After two made for TV movies that failed to launch a TV series back in 1979, Captain America finally made his motion picture debut in 1990, but thank God not to American movie screens. Only in Europe!

I have this movie in my video collection just for the fact I love comic book superheroes and their movies and TV shows. Yet I despised this movie for numerous reasons. I will not tell you all of them, but the main reasons were:

1. Red Skull was not German, but Italian! (He's working for Mussolini during World War 2, not Hitler)

2. Almost all the good guys, including Cap's old lady love and the reporter played by Ned Beatty, gets killed off sometime in the film

3.Red Skull is responsible all the way for such events as the JFK assassination, among others

How stupid is that? Very stupid! Kids will get scared out of their pants looking at The Red Skull just like I was so sickened at Red Skull's annoying comment to Cap calling him "brother". Praise God Captain America managed to shut Red Skull's mouth after that and started to kick Red skull's worthless ass.

Oh, how did Red Skull manage to get such cheap slut daughters in this movie to do his dirty work? There is no mention of him anywhere during the movie of him being married at some time. He must have been playing around with a lot of women before Captain America came back to life.

Jack Kirby, god rest his soul, hated this movie as well. And I don't blame him. For Jack Kirby created Captain America and other heroes, too!

If they ever make a new "Captain America" movie in the future, I pray that they do it better than this piece of crap. I've never been so disgusted in my life.

Thumbs Way Down!

Batman (1989)

A Great Movie!

[10/10 · 29 December 2007]

The decade of the 1980's ended with a bang in 1989, or should I say, a "Bat-Bang", with the release of the long-awaited movie "Batman". And was it worth the wait? Yes!

I loved this movie from start to finish. And I still love it today. "Batman" is pure comic book classic the way the Caped Crusader of Gotham City was supposed to be. And The Joker was the man with plan from his dramatic first scene. This is NOTHING like the 1966-1968 TV series. It has a good portion of laughs, but it's played for mainly adventure, not humor.

Michael Keaton, despite many people were upset over being chosen for the role of Bruce Wayne/Batman, did a fine job. I was impressed. He added more moodiness to a millionaire playboy who lived a dual life as a costumed vigilante of the night devoting his very life to fighting crime and avenging the murders of both his mom and dad.

But the main star was (and still is) of this entire movie was Jack Nicholson. His performance at The Joker/Jack Napier was superb and can never be outdone in a million years by anyone. To insult Nicholson's portrayal of The Joker is shameless! He makes Cesar Romero look like a wimp. Those unforgettable quotes such as "This town needs an enema!", "Where Is The Batman? He's at home, washing his tights!" and "Ever dance with the Devil by the pale moonlight?" made Nicholson the best Joker ever. And praise Bob Kane for suggesting Nicholson for this role. I knew Bob Kane was a genius, but now he's really a genius. Nicholson's Joker was both funny and sinister all at one time.

Kim Basinger was decent in her role as Gotham reporter Vicki Vale, but lacked a great deal of sexiness. She could've fared better had she been in "Batman Returns", but sadly (and perhaps thankfully) Basinger wasn't.

Michael Gough played Alfred, Bruce Wayne's butler. I do admit he was played with the loyalty and kindness that Alfred has for his servant. In fact, his portrayal reminded me of my grandfather's love towards me when I was a kid. It almost caused me to cry.

This movie had all the right stuff. And I will confess Robin was surely not missed. I know they waited until "Batman Forever" to add Robin to the "Batman" movies, but he was not needed the first time around.

If you've not seen this movie yet, then you're missing a classic worth four stars and more!

Porky's II: The Next Day (1983)

You Will Squeal With Laughter! This Is Classic!

[10/10 · 5 November 2007]

I've seen this movie lots of times, and it remains one of the most funniest movies ever made in my book!

The entire sex-starved gang of Angel Beach High have returned, with a few new faces for "Porky's 2: The Next Day", and they're more ripe than a truckload of bananas in this one.

Talk about funny! These bozos are doing everything possible to save their Shakespeare performance in a subplot that's loaded with laughs. In one memorable moment, Principal Carter screams to the domineering Reverend Flavel to "Get The Flock Outta Here!", which almost sounds like something else he said. There's a brief sound of whimpering from the Principal Carter, then a look of shock from the kids, and suddenly a burst of applause for his heroics.

Then there's the revenge on Ms. Ballbricker, the mean fat gym teacher from hell. While she's sitting on the toilet singing in a voice so awful, a snake emerges from in the toilet, causing Ballbricker to scream her ugly head off and run for her life while crying for her mommy, too! In my opinion, that one moment in the entire movie caused me to laugh my ass off. Wasn't life easier in school back in the 1950's? I think so.

Did I forget that the gang also battles the KKK that turns into a another laugh riot that's sure to cause heart failure.

Altogether, this movie is hilarious despite what others say. And there can never be another Bob Clark around to direct such funny, laugh-til-you-cry movies such as "Porky's 2".

If you haven't seen this, then you're hurting!

Super Friends (1973–1985)

Even Though It Was On For One Year, It Still Was A Great Show. But It Needed More Characters

[10/10 · 21 August 2007]

I grew up watching the "Superfriends" on Saturday mornings, and I loved it. Yet after a while, the Wonder Twins idea began to tire me out. Despite I also loved the reruns on numerous cable networks, it remained dismal. I hoped that there was a way to have a real "Superfriends" cartoon show without the Wonder Twins.

Finally, in 1985, I got my answer. "Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians" premiered on ABC. The show was a true to form version of the DC Comics characters I loved: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and so forth. And no Wonder Twins in sight. Hooray!

The stories were often dramatic and emotional, such as "The Fear", an excellent toned down version of Batman's origin, with a few scary moments involving The Scarecrow, who was the guest villain in the episode, and a rare appearance of Batman and Robin in their secret identities of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, not to mention Alfred, their butler. Another episode, which was sadly the final one, "The Death Of Superman" really hit a bullseye with its theme. This was aired years before the "Doomsday/Death Of Superman" comic book storyline came out. But in this case, it wasn't Doomsday that killed Superman. You have to see this episode to find out.

"Super Powers Team" did have two very amusing episodes I found quite funny. "Case Of The Stolen Powers" was the first. In this one, The Penguin (Batman's foe, making his only appearance in "Superfriends") accidentally gets Superman's powers after a magic spell cast by Felix Faust, enemy of Wonder Woman. Then chaos erupts. The second one, "The Bizarro Super Powers Team", involved Bizarro creating Bizarro-clones of Firestorm, Cyborg, and Wonder Woman, who are so stupid, they're just impossible to not laugh at.

However, what concerned me about this show is why it only lasted one year. It would've been great to see characters such as Green Arrow, Dr. Fate, or maybe Captain Marvel to appear in this show, had it lasted for another year or two. Perhaps they could've even introduced new villains, too. This show even gave The Joker his first and only "Superfriends" appearance ever in the episode "The Wild Cards". But it never happened. We had to wait until "Justice League Unlimited" on Cartoon Network in 2004 for that to happen. Hey, it was worth the wait.

Now I hear "Super Powers Team" is coming to DVD this October. I can't wait for this one to hit shelves. I'm getting it! Why? This show remains true to the "Superfriends" like no other.

Family Guy (1999– )

I love this show for millions of reasons, but I can do it in very short time.

[10/10 · 29 July 2007]

I saw "Family Guy" when it first aired on FOX in January 1999, and I couldn't stop laughing. The show was a riot. I loved it better than "The Simpsons".

When it was cancelled a few years later, I went into depression's big time. I thought the world had ended for me. I wanted to see my buddy Peter Griffin to return for more "Family Guy". And sure enough, I later discovered on the Internet news it was gonna come back. The question that remained was: When was "Family Guy" returning to TV?

I didn't have to wait long. Upon its return, I found it funnier than it was years before. The show had greatly improved all the way! The characters had developed to a better style. And the supporting cast had developed even better, too. The one who stood out was Quagmire. I just find him the raunchiest, but craziest fella in the history of cartoons. He makes Daffy Duck look like a loser.

I've taped every show and remain a loyal fan to this day. I even work with some guys at my workplace who are fans of "Family Guy". What can I say, except this show is a downright, hair-raising heck of a series. I want it to stay on FOX until the day I die, then they can cancel "Family Guy"!

Spider-Man 3 (2007)

He's Back For Number 3, And He's Still Spidey!

[10/10 · 21 July 2007]

I finally saw "Spider-Man 3" and will say, despite what others say negatively, I say positively. This movie was great! Tobey Maguire scores another hit in the movie saga of Marvel's Wall-Crawling Top Dude. Kirsten Dunst remains hot as Mary Jane Watson, and J.K. Simmons is even better than ever as J. Jonah Jameson, only more meaner and hot-tempered since part 2. The villains were Sandman (Thomas Haden Church), Venom (Topher Grace), and New Goblin (James Franco), also known as Peter Parker's best friend Harry Osborn, whose dad was Green Goblin (Willem Dafoe) in part 1. I don't see what all the big bad complaining's about, I loved this one, not as much as I loved part 2, yet Spider-Man's still got it in him to be the hero to save the day. However, in this one, he shows a dark side to his personality that reminded me of the dark side of Superman in 1983's "Superman III". And like all other heroes, he must get this dark side out of the way if he wants to be loved and respected by the people again. Redemption is the name of the game here. I might sound a bit preachy here, but two themes are also shown in a Biblical way in the movie: Sacrifice And Forgiveness. I refuse to say how or when it occurs, but it's there. Look for it! Altogether, "Spider-Man 3" was great, and if for some reason the cast and crew decide to "Spider-Man 4", I'll be along for one more spin, because nobody plays Spidey better than Tobey Maguire. 'Nuff Said!

The Punisher (1989)

Isn't The Title Punishment Enough? No!

[1/10 · 26 June 2007]

Before Thomas Jane played The Punisher in 2004, there was Dolph Lundgren in 1989. Yes, the one who played Russian boxer Drago in "Rocky 4" and He-Man in 1987's disaster "Masters Of The Universe". And trust me, he's so terrible in this low-budget, worthless piece of crap he isn't even Marvel Comics hero material. Instead, he's a gun-toting bozo on a creaky old Harley killing almost everybody he considers guilty. Plus, he looks like he needs some clean clothes, a shave, and a long bath. Most of all, he's a WIMP of WIMPS. I watched this movie and couldn't believe how pathetic it was. Lundgren lets a bunch of Ninjas kick the snot out of him in perhaps one of the most dumbest scenes in the film. This guy probably would let a bunch of strict nuns do the same if he let him. And in almost every few minutes early on in the movie, someone who isn't a bad guy gets killed, such as some lady who's sitting with a bunch of little kids. Talk about traumatic! What's worse is that Punisher's skull outfit is missing throughout this movie because according to sources, it was deemed too "comic-booky" for the film. Hey, The Punisher without his skull outfit is like Batman's suit without the Bat symbol or Superman's suit without the big S. Thankfully, Thomas Jane's 2004 film version got it right. Sadly, this film remains in my collection, and I doubt I can ever watch it again without getting sick. At least I confessed that I have it my collection. All I can say is this movie is trash with a capital T.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (2007)

The FF Are Back! And More Better Than I Thought!

[10/10 · 16 June 2007]

I just saw this movie today with my fiancée to celebrate our one year anniversary of our engagement. And must I say, "Fantastic Four: Rise Of The Silver Surfer" was beyond fantastic. It was terrific! The first FF movie was great, I'll tell you that much, but it was even greater that Tim Story wasted no time into getting the sequel underway right after the first one was released. The special effects were more improved. The funny stuff got more funnier. And the romance between Reed and Sue showed a bit more zing as they approached their wedding day. Of course, let's not forget the main focus of the film: The Silver Surfer. Whoever did the work on this guy deserves higher praise than he thinks because the Surfer was done perfectly, just like in the Marvel Comics! BRAVO! Dr. Doom is still around, causing a lot of problems. But we know he can't beat Marvel's First Family. Hopefully if there's a third FF movie, the villain should be the Puppet Master. Dr. Doom could be a worthy accomplice to him. Those two villains side by side would be better than the team of Riddler and Two-Face in "Batman Forever". Hey, if "Spider-Man 3" had three baddies, why not two baddies in a future "Fantastic Four 3"? Great, Great Movie! Do Not Miss This Worthy Classic!

The Death of the Incredible Hulk (1990 TV Movie)

Death Of The Hulk On TV? I Couldn't Believe It! I Still Can't Believe It 17 Years Later!

[4/10 · 12 June 2007]

When I first saw this movie on TV back in 1990, I fell asleep before the ending because I was taping it. I had to go to school the next day. And that morning someone told me at school that The Hulk had died at the movie's end. I didn't believe it. Sure enough, that person was right. How could this be? You'd think after all these years David Banner would be cured of his green, smashing alter-ego. But he wasn't cured. He got killed off in the most needless, unnecessarily death in TV history. And once again, this movie, like 1989's "Trial Of The Incredible Hulk", had no sign of nosy tabloid reporter Jack McGee (Jack Colvin) anywhere to be found. How disappointing beyond belief! Plus I witnessed another letdown this time. No guest-star superheroes to join forces with The Hulk. I mean, Hulk teamed up with Thor in 1988 and Daredevil in 1989, but he was all alone this time. I'd heard rumors of She-Hulk or Iron Man to be in this one, and Tom Selleck was going to play Iron Man, yet this one had nobody to lend Hulk a hand. Also, it was quite disturbing early on to see David Banner acting like "Rain Man" in this movie. You'd think Dustin Hoffman would've thrown a fit seeing Bill Bixby act like the character he won an Oscar for. Sure Bill Bixby was one of my favorite TV stars, God rest his soul, but he didn't have act like an autistic savant to cover up for the fact he turned green whenever he got angry. Finally, there was another rumor swirling after this movie aired. It was reported that Bill Bixby was going to a 4th Hulk movie titled "Revenge Of The Incredible Hulk". If that only was made, I would've been happy to see Hulk alive and smashing. But sadly, Bixby died before anything came to be for "Revenge Of The Hulk". "Death Of The Hulk" could not top the TV series from 1978-1982 ever in my lifetime. It was sheer tragedy to watch then in 1990, and in 2007 it is still sheer tragedy to watch.

The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (1989 TV Movie)

Could've Been Better, But Still I Have It In My Collection

[5/10 · 11 June 2007]

After a terrific comeback in 1988's "Incredible Hulk Returns", which guest starred Thor, Dr. David Banner and The Hulk return again in 1989 for "Trial Of The Incredible Hulk", this time guest starring Daredevil.

However, in this second TV Hulk reunion, Dr. Banner is accused of assaulting a woman on a subway, which was mainly the faults of these two punks who just escaped a jewel heist. Banner must stand trial for this crime, for which he didn't commit, and has Matt Murdock as his lawyer, played by Rex Smith. And Murdock, as all comic book fans should know, is secretly Daredevil.

However, Banner tries so hard to convince Murdock he can't stand trial due to the fact he changes into something, while trying also to protect his secret of The Hulk while convincing Murdock.

The "trial" turns out to be nothing more than just a dream of Dr. Banner's, where The Hulk shows up in this dream and crashes the courtroom. Shades Of "Dallas" and Pam Ewing! Look closely during this dream scene and you'll Stan Lee in the jury box.

Smith's Daredevil is nothing what Ben Affleck would make look more realistic to the comic book in the 2003 "Daredevil" motion picture. Instead, we have this cheap black ninja-like costume that is so bad, you'd think this more of a karate movie than a "Hulk" reunion movie. And did we get an origin scene of Smith's Daredevil? Nope. Just a little explanation spoken by Matt Murdock, which goes to show him, actions are better than words.

Jack McGee, (Jack Colvin) the nosy tabloid reporter from the classic 70's TV Hulk series, is nowhere in this movie, which could've made this more interesting to watch. His character was desperately missed and needed.

The movie wasn't all bad, it just needed to be a bit more interesting.

The Incredible Hulk (1978–1982)

This Show Will Always Rock!

[10/10 · 18 May 2007]

I grew up watching this show very faithfully every Friday night during its run on CBS from 1978 to 1982. It may have been altered from the comic book, but I couldn't care less. This was my favorite show. Bill Bixby, God rest his soul, was so terrific as Dr. David Banner I can't imagine another actor playing that part. Lou Ferrigno was almost the closest thing we would have to a real, breathing Hulk on this Earth. You'd think it was the real deal if you watched enough episodes of this classic. And Jack Colvin, another treasured loss to mourn since his passing in 2005, was so perfect in his role of hyperactive nosy tabloid reporter Jack McGee. He never caught the Hulk or even found out the truth that Banner was still alive at all during the series run. One of a number of disappointments in my life watching this show. Another one was that Banner never got his cure that he so hungered for. He came close sometimes, but never did. And Hulk never did a chance to speak any during the show. It would've been so cool to hear the big green dude say a few words. Instead he would roar and often cry. What a shame. This show fares tons better than the 2003 Ang Lee movie, which would have been better probably if Bill Bixby had not died and maybe did a nice cameo. It did have a short scene with Lou Ferrigno and Stan Lee as security guards which was okay, but too darn short. I think that the show also fared better than the three reunion movies that later aired on NBC in 1988, 1989, and 1990. They promised some more, but they never came to be due to Bill Bilxby's needless and tragic cancer death in 1993. In closing, all I can say is that this show will always rock. And The Hulk is still the man. Love him.

Spider-Man 2 (2004)

The First One Great, But Part 2 Was Far More Better!

[10/10 · 21 April 2007]

I saw the first "Spider-Man" movie opening weekend in 2002, and I thought it was great. Tobey Maguire was exceptional, Willem Dafoe was top-notch evil as the Green Goblin, Kirsten Dunst was bright as Mary Jane, and J.K. Simmons pulled off a perfect job as J.Jonah Jameson. I prayed that that "Spider-Man 2" would be even better. My prayers were answered. But the sequel, released in 2004, wasn't just better. It was far more better that I ever dreamed. Once again, Tobey Maguire was exceptional and so was the rest of the cast. But what stole the show was Alfred Molina's portrayal of Dr. Octopus. He was terrific. I loved him. He went from a kind scientist to a madman, yet still I felt there was something good still in him. The special effects were dazzling, the romance hit high notes with me. Everything about this movie from start to finish was superb. I found this a flawless piece of movie magic. It was better than any other comic book movie I have ever seen, past, present, or future. Oh, J.K. Simmons did it again as J. Jonah Jameson, only he had more character time in this sequel, and it paid off. He was so outrageously funny in "Spider-Man 2" I thought I was going to have heart failure laughing at his attitude towards Peter Parker. Believe me, this is the best.

The Earthling (1980)

Very Depressing Garbage!

[1/10 · 15 April 2007]

I saw this movie on cable when I was a kid, and I hated it. Before he starred in "Silver Spoons", Ricky Schroeder was in two worthless movies, "The Champ" (1979) and "The Earthling" (1980). And I always say now, that before he hit big on TV, he had it rough! I mean, these two movies involved the boy's parents getting killed in a gruesome way. It's a wonder he should've considered becoming a priest instead of staying in Hollywood. Anyway, this film was passed by Oscar and for good reasons. William Holden was a grumpy old loser and Ricky Schroeder was a whiny little orphan twerp in this piece of crap. The movie is slow and boring all the way through, not to mention the plot was putrid. I don't recall the music, that's a relief. If for some reason you want adventure Australlian-style, do yourself a favor and rent a "Crocodile Dundee" movie, any of the three, instead of "The Earthling". You'll not regret it at all, mate.