jocajosh Reviews

Mystery Road: Origin (2022– )

Load of cliche tripe

[1/10 · 5 August 2022]

Talk about try hard: this ticks every box for cliche, over dramatic, culturally sensitive but non realistic bs. If I lived in this town I'd be trying to kill everyone as well. Don't waste your time on this.

Faking It: Tears of a Crime (2017– )

Interesting series

[8/10 · 17 June 2022]

To the nay sayers - you obviously don't understand the law. In the case of Prince Andrew, they cannot say that they know 100% he is guilty. They may know it and so may the Police. But until he is charged and then convicted (IN A COURT OF LAW) of course they have to be careful. I found it an interesting series. Should do one on Mark Lundy from NZ. Good case of overacting.

The Great Martian War 1913 - 1917 (2013 TV Movie)

I love alternative History

[9/10 · 5 February 2022]

Like the film Fatherland, alternative history can be a really good way to view what actually happened as well as suspending belief. The footage was excellent, the cast convincing and the premise intriguing. To the nay sayers, chill. Upteen docos on the real history of The Great War have been made. So we do know the real history already so allow a little imagination to prevail from time to time.

Under the Vines (2021– )

It's fun

[8/10 · 22 January 2022]

To all those negative nancies on IMDb; chill bro. It's a bit of fun. It's like wine. Sometimes sickly sweet, sometimes dry. But always fruity. Don't expect Academy Awards, more a secret fantasy where we'd all like to own a winery. He acting is good. The cast excellent. And it's fun. End of. Just enjoy.

No Time to Die (2021)

It's time to die

[2/10 · 1 January 2022]

If this is the farcical future of 007, then I stop watching. The women in this were pathetic simpering ninnies only match by the men. Awful. I liked Daniel Craig before this but,mate, this was a dire dirge of disaster and disappointment. It was so bad that I couldn't stand to watch beyond the 1.5 hour mark. If it then became a masterpiece, I missed that. Don't watch this tripe.

Yentl (1983)

What a stinker

[1/10 · 17 March 2021]

I watched this hoping for some Streisand magic. What I got was just an egotistical platform for her. It was dire. The story was so unbelievably ridiculous. Those who have given it a 10 must be part of a cult cos this was really that bad

The State Within (2006)

I'm feeling seasick

[2/10 · 28 May 2020]

It's probably a great story but 10 minutes in and I'm feeling seasick. The non stop shaking camera shots and the change of shots and the incredible feeling that this was all shot on a home movie camera, makes me wonder why you would sit through the whole series. Cheap and nasty is my conclusion

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Know when to stop

[1/10 · 17 May 2020]

Just like the Alien franchise, there is a time to stop. When that line is crossed you get Prometheus or in this case, "A Good Day to Die Hard". I wish is had died at the storyboard stage cos it's a major lemon. Lame plot, lame acting, lame writing, lame directing.. well you get the point. I hope Brice got a good pay check cos that's the only reason he should have made something this bad

Prometheus (I) (2012)

I have never seen such rubbish

[1/10 · 12 May 2020]

I am halfway through this movie. Never have I come across a movie where I hate ALL the actors but today is special. None of them has a redeeming feature. The story is lame and I wish it had never existed

Pirates of the Airwaves (2014 TV Movie)

This is what TV should be like!

[8/10 · 8 November 2015]

I recently reviewed "Funny Girls" as what NZ TV shouldn't be - and then stumbled upon an example of what it should be - this great gem of a TV movie! Although it is a mix of documentary and acting, it's slick storyline and excellent comedic timing makes an enthralling watch - think of it as a docu-comedy. It basically follows the story of NZ's first pirate radio, bringing a modern commercial station to the country to challenge the NZBC - a BBC type dinosaur which wouldn't play commercial music. It shows what the country was like before it merged into the modern world - faceless bureaucrats in walk-shorts. It would have made an excellent work of fiction had it not been based on true events. I really urge people to watch what NZ TV can be - first class, entertaining and funny

Funny Girls (II) (2015– )

How bought a new title - Unfunny Barf?

[1/10 · 8 November 2015]

I have seen Rose and many others who pop up on this, frankly pig of a breakfast melange, on 7 Days and they are funny. Really funny! So how come this ended up being so unfunny? The American "like totally" sort of prepubescent schoolgirl humour was tedious. I managed the first show and gave up "like totally", half way through the second. I really think NZ has a great deal of really great and original humour but this wasn't either great or original. Go back to what makes Kiwis laugh cos you have missed the mark by a country mile. I really can't understand why the genuinely good talent here managed to get it so wrong. Please make some major changes to the next script because if it carries on like this, no one will be watching.

Open Slather (2015)

Turns out, dinosaurs are alive

[2/10 · 1 June 2015]

wow, if this is the current state of Australian comedy, no wonder Tony Abbot is Prime Minister. The best I can say about this tired, formulaic turd of a show is that after a while, it finishes. The targets of the parodies are already doing a good job of that themselves (and so don't need this show to help them along) so this show is completely unnecessary. There's nothing new in anything I saw here. It starts to make me think that "Pompidou" by Matt Lucas was better than I thought it was. If you want good Australian Comedy, watch "Danger 5" not this abomination. I can only surmise that the sad "comedians" that appeared here were paid so much that they threw any integrity out the window and I think I can safely say, there won't be a Season 2

The Brokenwood Mysteries (2014– )

Quirkly enjoyable

[7/10 · 7 December 2014]

I quite enjoyed this little romp in the countryside - not an intellectual pursuit (you can usually work out "whodunit" about halfway through) but still fun. I saw a review saying it was derivative and unoriginal and they disliked the overtly individualistic detective - well yes, he does seem to be a little "try hard" but what do you want - a guy in a nice suit and Ford Focus? How boring would that be - I think some people miss the idea of "entertainment". So good stories, interesting characters, beautiful scenery and enough to keep you entertained for 90 minutes. I hope they make more with perhaps a little more oomph but not so much that it looses it's quaint country feel. I'd give it a B with a comment of "could do a little better". But well done anyway - enjoy

Lovesick (2014–2018)

Utter rubbish

[1/10 · 5 October 2014]

All I can say is that the creators of this dire piece of rubbish have no respect for the viewers and the actors are probably hiding in a barn somewhere to avoid being seen in public. In theory the premise could have worked but in reality - it's beyond painful. The acting is wooden, the laughs are non existent and the direction needs some major review. I have only watched one episode(and that took a perceived eternity), but I managed to get through the whole episode without even the beginnings of a chuckle. Premise - a guy gets an STD and has to tell his previous sexual partners that he may have given it to them. good in theory, zero in practice. The main actor wouldn't have pulled at a blind desperate virgin contest let alone have a list to try and work through. The overacting by some of the characters (specifically the bride) should be shown at acting school as a lessons in not what to do. It's that bad!

37 Days (2014)

Amazing, Brilliant. Add your own superlative

[10/10 · 9 March 2014]

What an excellent production, acting and attention to detail. It shows those incredible 37 days between the assassination of Arch Duke Franz Ferdinand and the start of World War I. The self interest and machiavellian machinations of the so called "great powers" that lead to over 16 million deaths, is scarcely to believed but is all true. Those that think Churchill a great man should realise he and others like von Moltke, the Kaiser, the Czar and Emperor Franz Josef lived for war, ignored the suffering to come all in the name of self aggrandisement and self interest. This excellent show will show all this but people at the time were led and manipulated by patriotism (always a dangerous place in which to invest one's life!), to believe it was a just cause. It shows how quickly events can lead to a place of no return which is where we are now vis a vis Russia and the Crimea. For me Ian McDiarmid as the Foreign Secretary, Edward Grey, is particularly well worth the mention of great acting in this show. He is utterly believable. As for Rainer Sellin as the Kaiser and the actor playing Franz Josef, it's like looking at the actual people from history. Well done the casting people. All in all, a marvellous and accurate portrayal of events. Should be played in all schools.

Hellfjord (2012)

Politically insensitive hilarious and brilliant

[10/10 · 4 January 2014]

Norwegian comedy? Yup – and it's absolutely brilliant. If you have a weak stomach or are a sensitive New Age person, I would suggest you avoid. But if your sense of humour is wicked, you'll be laughing for days. An Oslo policeman is reprimanded and sent to a remote town for, well let's say an unfortunate incident with a horse. There he meets the oddest collection of locals including his deputy sheriff (Kobba), a Swedish fish factory manager (Bosse Nova) and his landlady (Aunty Cozy) – then the fun begins. For me, Kobba is the character that I love the most. He is old, has a pretty and much younger mail-order bride from Finland and the comments he makes are comedy gold. It's like his brain is set to "retarded" and his mouth to "say the most inappropriate thing you can". I highly recommend this!

Sunny Skies (2013)

C Plus - Could do better

[7/10 · 18 February 2013]

Now first off let me start by saying that many NZ attempts at situation comedy are, at best, woeful. Can no-one forget the dire "Melody Rules"? I wish I could! OK there have been some gems ("Gliding On") but generally they are over-acted and end up as something approaching French farce. I approached "Sunny Skies" with this in the back of my mind. And I was pleasantly surprised to be wrong. OK the actors are a bit laboured in line delivery (apart from a sparkling performance by Ian Mune), and it isn't roaringly funny but it had some good moments. The uptight Pakeha and the laid back Maori was a bit cliché (would have been funnier the other way around) but the actors gain a pass for what they did. The show has a great setting (we all remember the highs and lows of camping) so the potential material is huge, the characters are people we all know well (if a bit overdone) and the production is quite well done. I guess my main point is that after the first two episodes it gets a C+ from me with a "could do better". I am hoping that it improves over time and I will continue to watch and grade it accordingly.

Treasures of Ancient Rome (2012– )

The amazing and little appreciated world of Roman art

[9/10 · 15 February 2013]

Alastair Sook takes us on a journey to prove that great and influential classical art was not just limited to the Hellenistic world but was adapted by the Romans to new and surprising heights as well as developing along its own lines - in architecture, painting, statues - and should be celebrated in its own right. Alastair takes along to view this world which will amaze and delight the senses - it shows how the great and good (and not so good) of the Roman world commissioned these fantastic pieces which went on to influence the art and culture of the world we inhabit today. If nothing else, it makes a great travel show and should make you head to European museums on mass. A delightful series and an engaging host. A real gem.

Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)

Beyond CRAP

[1/10 · 15 November 2012]

I can't claim there are spoilers in my review because after 10 seconds of watching this film, you know you're in for a rough and spoiled ride. Are all the reviewers here on crack?? Better than Star Wars?? This makes "Plan 9 From Outer Space" look professional - it's bad acting, make-up, sets, dialog.... Space Marines (a truly terrible film) is so much better. John Boy Walton, who still acts like that's where he is, a huge Valkyrie warrioress who is there for titillation (and not acting), extras from Strange Encounters all add to make a sad melange of awfulness. Who made the models - a blind man from Blake 7 who was rejected because he had no concept of reality? Words fail me. Get a life people - I mean a real one

Kingdom of David: The Saga of the Israelites (2003 TV Movie)

Propaganda

[1/10 · 20 August 2012]

This is yet another example of pro Jewish propaganda masquerading as history. A totally biased, one-sided attempt to portray the suffering of the Jews (which undoubtedly did happen) as a justification for the brutality of the modern state of Israel. It only interviews Jewish theologians to back-up its one-sided view without exploring the impact that the people had on others around them or showing it as part of a wider context. This did have the potential to be an excellent series as there are there are few series that cover this material. But it misses the objectivity by becoming very much a finger-waving "you must feel bad for the Jews because of this past" morality tale.If you like your history to be anything but objective,then this is the documentary for you.

Fringe (2008–2013)

X Files for a new generation

[8/10 · 16 June 2008]

Great story and really good acting. The opening scene really grabbed my attention and soon I felt it was the first time I had seen a good successor to the X Files. Whilst it is a little too slick to have the atmosphere of XF and the main characters don't quite have the same chemistry as Mulder and Scully, I still thought it was on the right track. Reddick and Acevedo were excellent - guess they had my attention from when they were in Oz together. But best of all was John Noble - mad scientist of the finest genre! Jackson was a little lightweight but grew on me as the show went on. My favourite aspects of the show was the interesting camera work and special effects - oh that and a great sense of humour: "Let's make some LSD". I was really surprised and I can highly recommend it to everyone. No spoilers - just watch it!