dataferret-87524 Reviews

A Little Bit of Heaven (2011)

"Why is it so hard to say goodbye?"

[8/10 · 1 April 2024]

I have been a caregiver for my wife's journey with cancer for the last seven years. I don't know if she'll be gone this year or the next, but it will happen.

To all the caregivers out there who have a doomed loved one, watch the movie, and then decide for yourself if your loved one should see it.

It's a beautiful movie for caregivers, and perhaps, for extended family and your loved one.

Your call. Make sure you have tissues at hand, for it will haunt you.

Oh. And apparently I have 138 more... characters to write. My wife is asleep at this time, and I will soon wake her up to attend to her toilet. I cry every day, when she doesn't see me. Cancer sucks.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)

The women in this picture won it

[10/10 · 13 March 2023]

With thousands of reviews, mine won't be seen. Regardless, the women in the typing pool who were crying while tapping out the handwritten notes from officers, and the mother who collapsed on her porch when the preacher showed up to tell her the devastating news... was the most gut-wrenching.

And the women of Ukraine are living the same reality. Regardless of people who want to ban or sanitize the agonies of war.

I must tap out more words to fulfill the minimum of a review. As a vet, I've seen these horrors. 'They shall not die old' was and is the same in 1914 as it is in 2024. And so we continure...

Finding Mrs. Claus (2012 TV Movie)

Sleepless in Las Vegas? Naw, just more funnier in Funner, Nevada

[9/10 · 6 December 2022]

This is a Christmas rom-com that is really (no kidding, REALLY) funny. Lots of gags of various types going on here. The "Sleepless" reference is when adorable but Vegas-knowledgeable, precocious moppet Hope Jenkins (Aislyn Watson) writes a letter to Mr.s Claus (not Santa), asking not for toys and trinkets, but a new husband/daddy for heart-of-gold mom, a Las Vegas casino concierge. Mom (Laura Vandervoot) is a STUNNINGLY beautiful blue-eyed blonde, so it sorta / kinda stretches the imagination that she would be bereft of male suitors. Regardless, Mrs. Claus (Jessica, played by Mira Sorvino), irked by an overworked Santa (Will Sasso) who blows past their 500th anniversary. Extra comic relief is provided by elfin reindeer wrangler Calvin (Geoff Gustafson), all being kept on track by hilariously-frantic Executive Elf Anika.

So while Santa is sleeping through a romantic dinner, Jessica reads Hope's letter asking for a new Uncle Daddy, and ropes Calvin into dropping her off at 'Vegas. With a little "magic dust", Jessica becomes (presto) the actually gohjuhs, if bewilderingly naïve, Jessica Clausbuffet ("It's French"). Meanwhile, Santa is distraught that Mrs. Claus has left him, and coerces Calvin into telling him where he dropped her off. Accordingly, Calvin and Santa go off to 'Vegas, arriving incognito (albeit magically), conjuring literal fistfuls of cash to "grease the wheels" of the greedy scrooge-like casino manager.

Ok, it's predictable from the get-go when you have a long talking role from Lifetime regular Andrew Walker, who plays the cute bartender (Myles) who's a big friend of Moppet Hope. But hilarity ensues throughout the movie, with a frantic Executive Elf Anika urging haste and attention to the mission, and Calvin the reindeer wrangler working the tables, Jessica looking for Noelle (Mom), Santa looking for Jessica, Myles the bartender keeping "Security" away from Moppet Hope, and a greedy scrooge looking to milk as much dough as he could from the magical rubes and sending a hooker (Brandy) to keep the mark (Santa) happy.

Like an old Tex Avery cartoon with characters running in and out of various doors, things will suddenly explode in one swell foop. You know romance will be "found" for Mom, Moppet Hope is happy, Santa and Mrs. Claus will reconnect (with help from Elvis), Christmas is saved, toys are delivered, and even party girl Brandy and comic-relief Calvin will wrangle, too... but the interim byplay is the more funnerer part, with bodaciously-whimsical magic tossed in as well.

A Tale of Two Christmases (2022 TV Movie)

Just KISS her already, so we can move on!

[4/10 · 1 December 2022]

This is one of those movies that starts off with an interesting premise, bounces around in confusion, and just takes an agonizingly long time to wrap up. It manages to hit the point of no return, where you might feel you've already invested (wasted?) sufficient time to justify sitting through the inevitable. Your reward is the slow, inexorable (excruciating?) suction into its sappy, sloppy, conclusion where our protagonist chooses to surrender her career to a drama king "for love".

If you're in the privacy of home, you're inclined to yell at the TV in frustration.

And for a rom-com, it's not that funny. I gave it a 4 because the leads really did try to make the best of a rat's nest haircut.

Speaking of which, for gawd's sake, you get a candy cane out of your luxurious hair with hot water, not by having your meddling, inept, yakkity-yak MOTHER hack it out with kitchen shears!

Reindeer Games Homecoming (2022 TV Movie)

Tweaking the Lifetime/Hallmark formula a bit

[8/10 · 18 November 2022]

We all know the two leads will fall in love and get together with "The Kiss" at the end of the movie, but it's nice to change that timing a bit and to work out the career difficulties. Interesting, too, that it was somewhat obvious how Mac (Sarah Drew) was an older woman than Chase (Justin Bruening), which would explain her doctor credentials, though not their high-school puppy-love story. I agree that the long tresses of messy red hair and her effervescent but mature demeanor helped deflect from that actual age discrepancy - I've not seen 'Grey's Anatomy' so wasn't familiar with either actor IRL. Sarah certainly doesn't need a lot of makeup, too, and is a natural athlete.

Regardless, there were also some real comedic moments from each of the members of the supporting cast. Maybe the writers for Lifetime/Hallmark RomCom movies have finally gotten the point that viewers need to be engaged (entertained) and surprised enough to watch the whole movie.

Ghosts of Christmas Always (2022 TV Movie)

'arry Potter meets 'allmark

[9/10 · 12 November 2022]

Best (haunting) Hallmark movie yet!

You have teams of 3 ghosts: Past Present, and Future ... all assigned and doing their time (like "regular" jobs) in a middle-management bureaucratic level of ... let's just say, afterlife.

And they finished "scrooging" a film critic (remember her). And Charlie (their female manager) congratulates them for a job well done. And so, it's Miller Time: Past and Future spooks say they're off to get some drinks. Ghost Present elects to stroll through the town they just scrooged to think about uffity stuff.

She wanders into an empty, long-empty bar, and a handsome guy comes in, is surprised to dee somebody there, and asks "What are doing here?" (or words to that efect)

But wait!

He's not supposed to see me! I'm a ghost! WTF!?

If I describe any more vignettes (and there are many to come), it'd be spoilers. But like "Titanic: the boat sinks", you know they'll get together. But then what? Ha Ha! Watch and see.

I gave it a 9 ONLY because her makeup's too perfect. Had to find something.

Macbeth (I) (2015)

Look at minute 59 (for example)

[10/10 · 6 November 2022]

The new (bloody) king is in angst for his secret deed of murderous betrayal. The conniving but gohjus Lady MacBeth, clad in white satins and pearls, flows in, and gradually beseeches Mister Man to be jovial for their party guests.

(Flowery words are spoken) and she launches herself in clasping, coo-ing, sexual supplication, whispering in his ear that he must relax, and be like her, that he should "feel no shame to wear a heart so white."

And as she's desperately trying to seduce him, he locks eyes... and a single tear rolls down his face, whereupon she gasps and recoils....

Those very last , short seconds are so, so amazing because it emotionally expresses the whole story and emotions, exactly, in one swell foop.

We Wish You a Married Christmas (2022 TV Movie)

No way is this a Rom Com.

[3/10 · 24 October 2022]

No laughs to be found anywhere, and no romance as well. I gave it a three just for gohjuhs Marisol Nichols, but dead-panned Kristopher Polaha, like the whole movie, is just plain boring. No plot, really, no misunderstanding, no potential rivals, no surprises. The couple agree to split up, but don't. Again and again and again. No chemistry, just non-stop pathetic angst between them. Predictable, sure, but you might's well pluck daisy petals: she/he loves me, she/he loves me not, she/he loves me... And no sub-plots by other characters. Maybe if one of them walked out of a public restroom trailing toilet paper or something... anything... to provide some kind of comic relief. Even the dog was bored.

Romance in Style (2022 TV Movie)

Predictable as usual, but well-done

[7/10 · 6 September 2022]

I encouraged my wife to watch this movie after it's first premiere. I watched half the recorded movie, and wanted to share it with her. She doesn't usually care for Hallmark movies (she says they're too sappy, stupid, formulaic, and predictable), to watch it, after I saw half of it (recorded). Among her many talents, my wife is a skilled seamstress and former show-biz costume designer. She has always been (shall we say) rubenesque and very much knows first-hand about the difficulty in finding clothes to fit, and competing with the svelte ones.

Her one complaint was that the protagonist was not really "plus-sized", but she thoroughly liked it, That should be endorsement enough. We both liked that a talented professional woman would be recognized for her talent and skills, and not compromise herself for a relationship.

The Holiday (2006)

This is what a Hallmark movie should be

[9/10 · 2 September 2022]

Multiple stories in one movie: Christmas time, completely different locales, people desperately trying to make sense of the tragic loves and mistakes in their lives, and finding new loves and adventures... and having just a wee bit of PG-13 sex (the always-missing spice in Hallmark movies).

So an English country-girl woman finding herself in an L. A. mansion, and a SoCal exotic woman finally finding herself in an Olde England town (surrey), complete with a handsome widower and two charming moppets.

And the English girl draws a curmudgeonly Hollywood icon ("Tuco") out of his shell and finding a new love, to boot.

What's not to like about this movie? I give it an 8.5, but IMDB only allows (apparently) even integers.

Jillian Aversa: The Inner Light (2020 Music Video)

Perhaps the best in this series

[9/10 · 15 June 2022]

If you thought of showing somebody from years ago, what it would be like to be somebody else from a place that no longer exists.

I would name my first born daughter Mirabor. Who is a female scientist on a doomed planet (who was trained by a scientist from the future). You can't possibly watch this episode without thinking "what would you do?"

Very powerful, and enlightening. You are allowed to cry for them.

One Summer (2021 TV Movie)

a PG Hallmark weeper movie

[7/10 · 7 June 2022]

Finally a PG-rated Hallmark movie with a little bit of zip. Also, it's a bit of a weeper, too, especially for anybody who has lost (or is losing) a partner to illness or accident. The world breaks everybody, but some become strong at the broken places., and this is a story of getting past grief. It'd help the suspension of disbelief if the ghost looked a little more "ghostie" (ethereal). Another nice break from the typical Hallmark formula is to not have "The Kiss" in the final frames of the movie, but I don't think that qualifies as a "spoiler".

Unfaithful (2002)

Don't watch if infidelity is a painful subject

[8/10 · 20 April 2022]

Very powerful. I'll just say to other men that if you would be traumatized if the woman you love were repeatedly unfaithful... then don't watch this movie. It will definitely push your boo-boo spot.

They Shall Not Grow Old (II) (2018)

Viewing the dead in their innocence

[9/10 · 12 February 2022]

Keep in mind: every person you see... is dead.

It's an archived reverence for who they were, how they were naively part of a macabre machine, now disappeared... and why you need to learn how events back then shape events now.

For me, one of the most poignant scenes was in the beginning, when a little girl held tight to her father's hand, awash in a sea of agitated popinjay civilian men in Piccadilly Square, watching war announced in August, 1914.

It's all England's story in this movie (not Americans). The women hinted or actually shown are very much behind the motivations for the collage of dead men you see.

You will learn what "Duck Boards" were, and then really THINK about what it really meant, in hopes we will never have such colloquial terms for kludge-fixes again.

Knives Out (2019)

All but 3 are bad (in varying degrees)... put CC on. No spoilers.

[8/10 · 16 January 2022]

My review probably won't be seen (2.7k reviews already, and counting), but it's one helluva ride. Sort of a reverse 'Orient Express' movie, with more twists than op-art. Things are not what they seem, again and again. Closed-Captions helps, because much is done in whispers. It's like trying to reverse-engineer a 'Columbo' mystery, except that things are, repeatedly, not what they seem, but are tidied up in the end - sort of. The viewer is left with his or her own "If it was me, would (or how) do I be nice to these people?" dilemma of conscience.

Toying with the Holidays (2021 TV Movie)

Not your typical Christmas movie

[7/10 · 21 December 2021]

Whaddya know? No woven web of deception, unexpected twists, and misunderstandings, but a breezy fun Christmas with a lazy and inexorable conclusion. Predictable, yes, but nicely done with a satisfying resolution, including a possible love triangle switcheroo thrown in.

Nice train stuff: several small HO scale pikes (not the three-rail O-scale careening plastic toys) as well as a miniature 4-4-4 1870s locomotive and open passenger cars - which apparently is... soundlessly electric? It's not steam, nor is there the sound of a gasoline engine, and much of the story involves train enthusiasts working together, though only two are featured. It'd be nice if there was a female train nut / mechanic, too.

Protagonist is a strong, successful, determined, tech-savvy web designer woman, divorced, with (of course) a gee-that's-SWELL moppet boy. And the love interest is a train guy / handyman, needing help getting his hobby shop into the 21st century, not too badly scraggle-bearded, though he does have a low bass/baritone voice difficult to hear. The woman is the engine that could, of course, and the guy is bedazzled with her and pretty much goes along for the ride.

Snow Bride (2013 TV Movie)

Predictable? Not exactly how you expected a Hallmark to go

[7/10 · 20 December 2021]

Long time reader, first time reviewer. The two paparazzi reporters are the weasel-ferrets you detest, with Greta having a gradual change of heart due to snowballing (pun intended) circumstances. It has the usual formula of unlikely tangled-web woven complications climaxed with the misunderstanding / anger / rejection... except things are actually not what they seem, and a leap of faith is tested (along with well-deserved revenge). Let's just say that politically-savvy Mom and Dad didn't just fall off the rural produce transport vehicle, by any means.

It'd be nice if Hallmark would get a little more racy and lose some of the pabulum G-rated fare, but that's not gonna happen - which is why, all things being equal, I'll select a Lifetime over a Hallmark movie. This one's a good exception.