rudebuzztard Reviews

Ares (2020)

After third episode this show gets really interesting and scary (symbolism explained!)

[8/10 · 21 January 2020]

This is the first netflix series from Netherlands. It's not really about a student fraternity but this is what you think the first three episodes. I really had a hard time getting through endless talking heads and shallow characters and initiation rituals that were quite lame. I felt quite disappointed and feared that this show was not more than some familiar horror elements thrown together in the blender.

But then, everything changed. The show gets very dark (literally, sometime you can hardly see what happens) and mysterious. I think the whole symbolism is obvious. But if you are not Dutch and don't know about our history this can explain why you don't get it.

In the first episode somebody already asks "how do you think the Dutch got so rich and powerful?" well the answer is given in the last episode. The price for this "success" is high and we are still feeling the effects. Poverty in Africa and social struggles in Indonesia, Surinams etc. are partly because of the endeavours of our ancestors. In modern times the people from the former colonies ask for us to recognize our rascist past. And people respond to this demand differently. this is ultimately what this series is about. The struggle portraited in a symbolic way. The solution seems to be, live with your guilt (and swallow it) or not. I think the show is very clear.

In the end this show is not about a fraternity. This is not a cult and the people in it are not evil. They are also a victim and to blame and the same time. The secret they protect is the source of their succes. But ultimately it's also the source of their demise. It left me thinking. This show works on different levels and i am really curious what will happen in the next season.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Americans must be stupid

[5/10 · 21 June 2013]

I have watched all the Swedish parts of the movies. Haven't read the books though. So I am not going to compare books with movies.

For me, the Swedish adaptation of the girl with the dragon tattoo was more suspenseful, less macho and made Blomqvist look like a real investigator. The way Craig finds out things in this movie is really ridiculous. Like the scene were his daughter says "be careful with catholics, because there are bible text at your desk" its just too stupid for me to handle.

The love story doesn't make any sense, the characters have little emotion towards each other. It's way too obvious Martin did it (you hear women screaming the first time Craig is at martin house, for crying out loud). The part were he visited "anita" and the fact it takes ages for him to figure out she is Harriet is annoying. And what happened to Anita? oh yeah she died?. In the Swedish version it has been told right at the beginning, how come Craig's Blomqvist forgot about that?. It's just all too stupid this remake.

The fact it takes place in Sweden and people talk English is maybe the worst part about this stinking piece of film. The accents are horrible and tend to fade away during the movie (its always hard to keep up accents, so don't do it if you are a shitty actor). All the extra budget is spent on useless flashbacks of people searching for Harriet and showing car crashes at a bridge and stuff that doesn't improve storyline or suspense. Just for making some cool images.

But i guess it works, this movie gets a better rating than the original despite the fact all the characters have been made a lot more stupid investigators than the originals. Blomqvist is a wining journalist, that hesitates in taking on the job and doesn't want to spoil his Christmans dinner (while you know he is going to take the job anyway). The girl is a lot weaker and more ugly than the original actress, and here dragon tattoo is weak too.

I definitely hope there are not going to be more remakes of the Swedish movies. But there probably will because there hasn't been an original idea around in Hollywood since the 90's and the only way they make money nowadays is by making weak adaptations of movies made with way less money somewhere else in the world.

If you really think this adaptation is better than the original, your either a blind US patriot, or a flawed movie fan who is easily distracted from a good storyline and character building by some pretty pictures.

Altitude (2010)

Please, make all the bad monsters go away??

[4/10 · 23 February 2011]

Let's start by saying Altitude is a waste of your time. Five teenagers get into a plane, strange things happens. The characters are shallow and you don't really care about what happens. One of the kids is a whining boy who saw his parent's and the mother of the girl he loves now was flying the plane then.

Oh, then enters the monster. Some kind of flying octopus. It doesn't make sense, and then this guy reads a comic. Oooooh, now I see! the comic is the same story as the one they are experiencing. The girl kisses him, and all is well.. And he also imagines his parent's still alive and it happens.

This story tries so hard to make the ending a happy one. THat blows, hence this whole movie blows. My friend who recommended this movie to me has got to be kidding me because I feel stolen from 90 minutes of my live. Maybe if I imagine really hard I never saw this movie I get my 90 minutes back.

4 out of 10 (because the girls are really hot).

The Woods (2006)

Bruce Campbell returns in the woods

[8/10 · 26 April 2006]

I saw this movie on the Amsterdam Fantastic Film Festival. and I loved it.

To begin at the beginning, the characters of the film are very interesting for a horror movie, so is the setting. The fact that heather's parent's dropped her at a school for girls were the mistresses are strict and she gets taunted a lot are nice ways to build up the story.

That's what's good about the movie, it builds up quite slowly (also because actually there is not much story to build up) and when we are fully aware of the threats, the viewer is also aware of the fact that one cannot escape from a mysterious force that is everywhere around you. Not even when Bruce Campbell is your dad.

Bruce has a great part in this movie. Because its about a school for girls and 99.9% of the movie is filled with women (now I know why the director's name is Lucky) you can't expect Bruce to have a big part, however his part is vital towards the end of the movie. Lucky mcKay used Campbell in a great way and even makes him go into "evil dead" mode towards the end.

Gore, blood and guts are not really what this movie is about. The scenes with the girls waving with axes are bloodstunning though. If you want to see a nice horror that is a bit different from the ordinary watch this! They should really release this baby. It won't be a box office smash hit but I think it'll definitely do something in the cinema, at least more than the 12 million it cost.

Love Object (2003)

This is one of my alltime favorite movies!!

[9/10 · 17 December 2005]

What is so scary about puppets? There have been a few movies that handled the human fear for the puppet (such as pin and child's play) but this movie is the absolute king of its genre, if you can call this a genre that is.

The movie is about Kenneth, a frustrated and socially isolated young man who embarks on a strange sexual relationship with a love doll. The thing that I really liked about this movie is the music. It's very subtle and tells a lot about what is going to happen or gives you an unpleasant feeling. This is not a scary movie, although you will get goosebumps from time to time. I think in a certain way it's a very real movie about how people can drive themself mad. You see it all coming (at least I did) and I kept telling myself "OH GOD! HE'S NOT REALLY DOING THIS" but he was. It's a honest and shocking movie with a terrific ending.

I am not going to spoil anything but you should watch this and then you must agree with me that the ending of this movie is the best part!. But still all of it is good, 10/10

Magonia (2001)

beautiful stories with a beautiful background

[8/10 · 26 February 2005]

I found it strange to see that the only comment on this (dutch) movie is from someone from Sweden :P. So I thought it would be nice to add some thoughts about this myself.

I liked this movie very much because of the different scenes of the stories. The movie basically consists out of 3 stories which are set in Arabia, Africa and Holland. I loved the first and last story, the second story didn't seem to have a lot of dramatic tension in it, or any tension at all.

The first story is about choosing between loyalty and the one you love, and was very tragic, it made me cry. It took place in a small Islamic village somewhere in the middle east and has a very beautiful atmosphere and was even a bit funny from time to time.

The second story was stupid I think, I cannot think of any message in it or something. Except maybe that it sucks to live alone in the African desert...

The third story is really dramatic and is about a woman doomed to live in misery because she rejects the love of a man close to her and instead waits for a mysterious sailor she met 7 years ago and once said he would take her with him..

Unfortunately there are some more downsides to the movie except the poor second story. They mixed actors from Belgium and Holland and that irritates me sometimes. The little boy in the story is dutch, his father has a Belgian accent. I think it was very stupid of the director to do, because it doesn't make their relationship credible. But that's just a little thing, 8/10

Simon (2004)

It's a great movie, one of the best dutch movies of the last few years

[9/10 · 26 September 2004]

Eddy Terstall is one of the most talented directors in Holland. He always makes low budget films which are mostly about dialogues and not about action, explosions or special effects. His skills for writing dialogues in a funny a witty way are unique and it get's better every movie… Simon is his latest and therefore best movie, about a remarkable character called Simon and his Gay friend Camiel. The story is touching, funny and interesting. The amount of nudity, foul language and drugs (Simon has his own coffeeshops) is very high, even for Dutch standards.

The best thing about Terstall is that he constantly uses the same actors and actresses, it's very funny to see them all in different roles in each movie of this director. Especially Rifka Lodeizen (always looking good, a lot of topless scenes :D) she just has this thing that makes my spine chill and this nice voice. And Daan Ekkel (who had the best part in Terstall's movie 'hufters and hofdames') as a friend of Simon who tried to staple his tattoo's because in a mushroom trip he thought they were coming off. Cees Geel as Simon is a new member of the actors' group but he fits in perfectly and I expect him to come back for the next movies Terstall will make. This is definitely going to be a Dutch classic, and it was made for only a million (in comparison to Terstall's other movies, this is a fortune) in an interview Terstall was complaining that he never get's a lot of money for his movies and is about to go bankrupt. I can hardly believe that because of the success of Simon, but I hope Terstall is not going to do stupid things in order to earn more money.. Simon is the Dutch submission for the Oscars, but they won't get it. This movie is to honest and too straightforward for any American jury to get it. This movie is about euthanasia, drugs, homosexuals (and Simon truly hates them and makes a lot of nasty remarks) and all kinds of things Americans don't want to talk about. It deserves the Oscar, but Simon is not going to get it. I give a 9/10

The Big Empty (1997)

How a PI movie must be!

[10/10 · 23 February 2004]

This movie is totally brilliant. Every aspect of a classic film noir is in it, humor, drama, strong characters. This movie makes you think, about yourself, about life and loneliness. If you are not open (like me the first time I watched this) you won't like this movie. If you want to see action, you won't like this movie. Although this is a low budget movie the acting is brilliant and the camera work is very refreshing, especially the car scenes!. This little gem needs a lot of attention but will give you the real film noir feeling!. But of course only when you are looking for the film noir feeling. This is a movie for fans of the genre, they will understand what this movie wants to tell and why this movie is refreshing and uses the film-noir formula in a whole different way!.

9 out of 10

Duerme negrito (2002)

Ooooh, so depressing..

[8/10 · 28 November 2003]

I saw this movie in Poland at the Unica festival, it won a big prize (best short fiction movie). It's a great movie made bij Hector Gavira, a nice and wise man. He depicts the poor living condition of a man and his little boy. They try to make ends meet but the father has no job and all seems hopeluss.

Truly depressing storyline and great actorwork makes you (almost) cry. Especially the scene where the father break out in tears. The directing isn't slik or very innovative, this movie is nice and slow and gives you the drama slowly..

8 out of 10!.

Epoch (2001 TV Movie)

What the hell have I been watching?

[14 July 2003]

OK, It's not like I was expecting much when i watched this movie. And the movie started out ok, it even built up some tension. Then the Chinese came in.. It's a real problem for American cinema. Because Americans really like to think in black and white (good guys and the bad guys) and of course, the bad guys can never be Americans, because they are all good. During the cold war they had Russians to use as bad guys, and now they mostly use terrorists in movies. But this movie tries to be orginal :p and uses the Chinese.

-SPOILERS- The Chinese are completely right, they want a research team to examine this thing (because it's only 50 miles from their border!) but access is denied by Americans. What were the writers of this awful script thinking? They found some chinese to play the bad guy, and he's acting like the Chinese are some kind of monsters. The actors in this movie are dreadfull, the special effects look ok at the start. But in the end they go down with the story. The scene that they jump out of the thing onto a platform is really hilarious!. It's so fake I couldn't stop laughing. Then the story, I can't exactly tell it again. Because it really was a big mess. It's about a thing who can heal things/people. And for some reason it has risen out of the ground, nobody know how it got out of the ground. And for some reason people think it will destroy the world?.

Something like that, really stay away from this, it stinks.

I rate it 2/10

The Godfather (1972)

What else need to be said?

[9/10 · 29 January 2003]

What can I possibly add to all the comments that have been given? I think the true greatness of this movie lies in the fact that Puzo and Coppola both worked on the script of these movies. Directors often get a book all wrong and screw up the translation from the book to the movie, and that's only logical, because a book is art and that's personal. THe movie would have been completely different if Coppola had written the screenplay on his own without Puzo telling him what the real essence of the story is. And that is what lifted this movie and the other godfathers beyond greatness... I give a 9 out of 10.

Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999)

JUST NOT FUNNY!!

[4/10 · 28 January 2003]

You can just smell Adam Sandler had a big hand in this production. Because it's just like a Sandler movie, stupid, dumb, and just not funny!. You can predict the outcome of this movie after you have watched 3 minutes of it, you can foretell all the jokes that are coming, and the most boring part is that some jokes get told like a thousand times (the food in the whirlpool part). Rob Schneider is a low-talented suck up who obviously got his role because he knows people and not because he is funny. I might have laughed 4 times. So I give it a 4. But please, don't watch this, it's just a waste of your time.

The Industry (1998–2002)

This is great guys!

[28 January 2003]

They started airing this show on canal+ (cable) a few months ago, and I must say this is really good!. I thought North-America's ability to self-reflect had died out and that only feel good tv and movies were made over there. But shows like this one are a great relief. I think all the characters are great, except for the boss Alan Roy, he is just a bit too stupid, a bit overdone. But still, I give this show a very high rating and I must say it;s better than anything we dutch people will ever make. But on the other hand, out movie and tv industry is not as screwed up as it is in Nort America :p so we have no real need to makes stuff like this ;). I give it a 8 out of 10!.

Black Circle Boys (1997)

True Story??

[5/10 · 28 January 2003]

Hmm.. I have certain mixed feeling by this movie. At first the characters seem to be genuine, Kyle is a bit like me (drummer, only I perform much better). But after like 15 minutes this movie takes a nose dive. All the people, the so called "headbangers" are just completely s*****. No real metalhead would do stuff like this. And the band****, what kind of crap is that?. They make some kind of 'obvious connection' (in their eyes) between metalheads and metal music and the use of satanic rituals.. that is one thing that pisses me off. The second is, if you want to state that they are metalheads, let them look like metalheads.. especially Kyle does not look like one.

Eric Mabius is the guy that made the movie bareable, he is the only character that makes a little sense to me. Plus the direction is pretty ok, nice dark shots and the beginning sequence is cool too. But this is not going to dave this movie.

I am sick an tired of these kind of movies, I know why they do this, in 'goody goody- land' (America) you can;t make movies about everyone anymore, without being offensive, so they just use a musical scene instead, because it's pretty vague. Well I can tell you, gothic people are not like this, I listen satanic music as well, and I use magick sometimes, and it has nothing to do with evil and violence. This guy, Shane, he's just a psychotic man, that's what he is, the fact that he likes metal music or dresses in black has nothing to do with this. Why don't they make movies about the truth? about the real killers, the people with guns, corporations, black people, poor people, insane people. Movies like this will only keep the vision people have about metalheads intact, and that is a shame, because we are not like this. I am giving Eric Mabius 2 points, the direction 2 points and the story 1 point. So I still give it a 5 out of ten. It's not really bad, just remember it is not like this in real life.

Speaking of Sex (2001)

Could have been a lot better..

[5/10 · 27 January 2003]

I don't know exactly what went wrong with this movie, Bill Murray can do comedy, Jay Mohr was funny in Mafia, but I think it was the script that has messed this movie up big time. I know it's hard to make up good jokes, and all the good stuff has already been used in other movies, but is that really a reason to resort to sh***y sexual jokes? I mean, you can make BIG sexual jokes, that are almost revolting (the sperm gel used by cameron diaz in there is something about mary) but will freak people out and make them laugh, or you can do the other jokes.. and sadly they have chosen for the save path. These jokes are weak, I have the idea that the writer is a bit afraid of sex himself, and tries to write the trauma away with this dreadful story.

But enough about the story what about the cast? lot of semi-great names, but no real big names, that is not a shame, I think the actors did pretty good considering the script that was given them. None of them are truly great, Lara Boyle is candy for the eye as usual, but nothing more. The characters are just flat, no crazy persons (a good comedy must have a weird or crazy person in my opinion) they are all at the same level. Even a veteran like Bill Murray delivers a meagre performance. Almost like the director said "people! don't try to be too funny" they seem to be held back by something.

And last, but not least, the directing. I think the director did a good job I like the short flashback thing were he let's the picture slide into the screen. Also the "private eye and victim woman" telephone conversation with 2 other people was brought very good. The director did his best and made a movie what was a 4 out of 10 into a 5 out of ten.. so 5/10, maybe nice for the die hard Murray fans. But not very funny.

Crying Freeman (1995)

Living work of art

[8/10 · 27 January 2003]

This movie is brilliant, it's just the way action movies should be. Not about explosions, stunts or violence, but brought with a certain pain, desolation and pure poetry. You can tell that the base for this movie lies in Japan because the movie itself is a bit like a manga movie. It get's really confusing of you are not focused and it's fast paced and in your face. And Dacascos is brilliant as well, he doesn't have much lines of texts (thankgod for that!) and his actions and the way it is filmed is truly amazing. The only thing that keeps this movie away from greatness is the lack of good music to go along with the movie. That and the fact that this movie is not about actors, but about pictures and action. But hey, you can't have it all.. I give 7 out of 10.

Cape Fear (1991)

Spine tingling music

[8/10 · 27 January 2003]

The funny thing about music is, most of the times you don;t even pay attention to it. It's a way to give you a certain feeling, without you really knowing were this feeling comes from. When the music is bad, the movie is bad most of the times, when the music is good, it can make a movie soo much better (it's never enough to save a bad movie though). And that is the case with this movie, Martin Scorcese choose to keep the music from the original 1962 Cape Fear, and I am glad he did!. The music creeps up on you, get's you by the throat and is even more violent than Max Cady will ever be.

The acting is also great, I love Julliette Lewis, she has kind of a lost puppy look, but as always she can be real mean when you least expect it. Nick Nolte was brilliant, I think this is the best performance I have ever seen of him. I think it's part the script and part the fact that he wasn't on the booze at the time this movie was made. Downpart is Jessica Lange who delivers a hysterical "screaming wive in distress". There should have been some more depth in her character. Robert de Niro, he looks a bit old for a tough inmate guy. He claims to have learned a lot of filosophy, and talks wise.. but on the other hand he is a stalking murderer. I think these contradictions are a bit strange and unbelievable. But it does not ruin the movie.

The biggest flaw in this movie, in my opinion, is the whole "rape- non-rape" issue. Cady (de niro) claims that Nolte held back some information, the girl he "raped" was a slut.. and this information would have gotten him out of prison, he claims. I think that is a bit far off, besides, who get 14 years for rape?.

But if you take this for granted, then you will enjoy this movie. The use of the water and the darkness is great, the tattoo's the strange tension between the daughter and Max Cady is brilliant. The directing work is great. I give this movie an 8 out of 10. You should watch this one!.